by Jane Charles
“I’ll explain if he does.” I head to the fridge wishing we had some beer because I could really use one, but all we have is juice and milk.
“I hear you are meeting Dylan again tomorrow.”
Her head jerks up and she pins me with a look. “Did Ian tell you that?”
“Yeah?”
“Because you asked him?”
“He offered.” That is the truth.
“But you still asked him about tonight, didn’t you?”
“I wanted to know how it went.”
“I told you how it went.”
“No, not really and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Don’t I look okay?”
“No. You are battling something inside that I don’t get and it worries me.”
“So, while you’re being all understanding with me, you were planning on going behind my back to find out what you could from Ian.”
“It’s not like that.” Though, it actually is.
“Look, my relationship with Dylan is between me and him and something I need to figure out.”
“I get that, but you act like you are alone.”
“I am alone!”
“No, Nina, you are not. I am here.”
She blinks at me. “Not if you can’t trust me and go behind my back.”
I have no defense. It’s exactly what I did. “I love you.”
“I know, but if you want me to trust you, you need to trust me.” With that she gets up off the couch and carries the ice cream into her room and slams the door behind her.
“Fucking perfect!”
38
It’s four in the morning and I feel like shit. Not in a sick way, but in how I treated Dylan and Tex. I want to be pissed at Tex for going behind my back, but he did it because he cares. Because I wasn’t giving him anything and he was worried. He needs to stop doing that, but it wasn’t out of being mean, just being concerned.
I also didn’t really give Dylan a chance. I got scared and shut down. He deserved more. He’s a good guy. So he fucked up. We all have. And, I don’t doubt that he’s been carrying a world of guilt, even though he’s the last person who should be guilty over what happened.
Dylan was open with me and I shut down on him, even when I wasn’t getting any warnings from my gut. If I had, I would have walked out, but nothing. Just some familiarity from a guy I once knew. Yeah, he’s a stranger, but he’s not going to hurt me anymore than I’m going to hurt him, and I was unfair.
That’s the reason I can’t sleep.
It could also be because I’m sleeping alone. I’ve slept alone my entire life, but a few nights with Tex spoiled me. I miss his arms around me and his quiet snores.
Pushing the covers away, I grab the empty ice cream carton and spoon and take them into the kitchen. After tossing the carton and putting the spoon in the sink I go back down the hall, stopping outside of Tex’s door.
It’s open. Before Miguel left it had always been shut, but it’s wide open right now.
He should sleep. I should let him sleep.
Maybe he won’t notice.
Quietly I go into his room and get in on the other side of his bed and with as little movement as possible, inch toward his heat.
Tex rolls over and I freeze, hoping I didn’t wake him.
“I was hoping you’d take the open door as an invitation.” His arm goes around me and he pulls me close.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
“Can I sleep with you?” I don’t want to assume anything.
He pulls me even closer. “Anytime you want, darlin’. You belong here.”
His hand slips under my shirt and cups my breast.
I like having sex with Tex but my head is not there right now. “Can we just sleep?”
He takes his hand away. “We can do whatever you want.”
“Thanks.”
He kisses my temple. “Now roll over on your side so I can spoon you.”
I grin and do just that and he snuggles up against my back. “Now get some sleep.”
“I love you, Tex,” I whisper. His breathing stops for a minute. “I love you too, Nina.”
She loves me. The three sweetest words that can be said to a person.
I don’t think I’ve been able to stop grinning since I woke up this morning. I let Nina sleep and got ready for school before heading to the gym. She was supposed to open up, but she needs rest and I don’t. Besides, I’m too happy to sleep. Nina finally said she loved me.
I’m sure the people coming in this morning to get back to their normal routine think I’m a few pickles short of a barrel because I’m grinning so much, but I don’t give one lick what anyone thinks. Nina loves me.
“Looks like somebody had a good night,” Joel says as he comes into the office.
“What are you guys doing here so early?” They have classes like I do and they usually don’t come in until after them, especially if they were bouncing or bartending the night before.
“Need to coordinate the schedule.” They take papers out of their pockets. When they get their schedule from the Poison Apple, they come here and pencil out when they can’t work and then fill in where they will work. Nina, who has taken over the scheduling, then fills in everyone else.
“Dylan was still there when we got back,” Ian says.
I wasn’t going to ask. Hell yes, I wanted to know, but I’m not going behind Nina’s back again.
However, if they want to just tell me stuff, I’m not going to tell them to shut up.
“He wanted to know why she was all closed up,” Ian says.
“What did you tell him?”
They shrug.
“We don’t know.” Joel frowns and shrugs. “But he wanted to know her nickname because she wouldn’t tell him. Why do you think that is?”
“I’m sure Horns has her reasons.” Then I focus on him. “Did you tell him?
“Hell no,” Ian answers. “If she doesn’t want him to know, I’m not telling.”
“Then he got on us for not knowing her name and figuring it out sooner, but he wasn’t really mad, just that he could have known her two years sooner. Hell, if we would have known he was looking for her when we still called her Nina, maybe they would have connected sooner.” Joel takes a seat on the other side of the desk. “He was disappointed that she didn’t want to talk more last night though.”
“Maybe she will tonight,” I suggest.
“Suppose so. I’d forgotten what a tough nut she was to crack.”
Ian grabs the calendar. “Rugby is starting up on Monday? And soccer?”
“Leagues want to get going.” It is earlier than usual, but they start up earlier and earlier each year. I think it’s because people get tired of not doing anything in the winter and just working out is boring.
“I better get my soccer team scheduled before there aren’t any slots left.”
There are four teams that fight for the space in the evening: women’s rugby, men’s rugby, women’s soccer and men’s soccer. They train for about a month to six weeks before they start playing other non-professional teams around the city. Ian and Joel each coach one. Two of the coaches already scheduled their time. The last one in the door to schedule will get the shittier spots. The only time they can’t schedule is anything during the day on the weekends, or right after school, up until five, because those are for kids’ leagues.
“Damn, Jarvis and Totten took our slot from last year.”
That would have been six-thirty to eight.
“Five to six thirty is still open.”
“Shitty time for people who work.” He complains and looks at Joel. “Want to do eight to nine-thirty?”
“Yep.”
“I’ll schedule the women’s soccer from five to six-thirty, and hope I don’t lose players.” Joel coaches the women’s soccer team
“I’ll take eight to nine-thirty for the women’s rugby,” Joel says. At least I’ll get out of here in time to
get to the Poison Apple if I’m scheduled.
“Except, you play men’s soccer, which is the shittiest time for practice.”
“Fuck!” Jarvis and Totten don’t practice and train every night. Maybe we can take the earlier time when they aren’t here.” He shoves the calendar away. “And maybe the weather will get nice early this year so we can go outside, then two teams can train.”
“Just make sure Nina sees this before she starts making plans.” Ian tosses the calendar on the desk.
“See what?” She asks as she comes around the counter.
“Practice schedule,” Ian answers. “We’ve been booted from eight to nine-thirty.”
“Makes no difference to me. I’m here all the time anyway.” She just shrugs. “Don’t you have to get to school?” She looks at Joel and Ian. “All of you? Get out.”
39
Monday can’t get here soon enough. I am so ready to get back to practice and training and to start kicking the ball around. Or tossing it, depending on the sport.
But all of that can wait.
I leave the office and head out to the counter where I’ll greet the members and answer any questions from the newbies or anyone coming in off the street wanting to join. We don’t get many of those, and really, this place is busy enough, when we aren’t buried in snow, that it can be downright crowded in the workout area.
Tex took his laptop to school so I use the gym computer and log in to Facebook. I have some new friend requests, so I click to see who they are. Nobody else knows I have this account.
Thirteen requests to be exact and all of them are from Dylan’s friends.
I don’t even know them. Why would I make them my “friend”?
Without confirming any of them, I close out the friend request thing and then click on the little world icon. “What did Dylan tag me in?”
I click on it and it’s a picture that Ryan took. There are thumbs up from his friends, but hearts from Dylan, Noah and Mary.
This is just too weird for me.
It’s also not the reason I got on Facebook in the first place. I need to message Dylan and Noah. It’s more for Dylan though.
* * *
Hey,
I want to apologize for last night. I can be a real bitch. I don’t mean to be, but I’m not good at letting people in.
* * *
I blow out a sigh. This is really hard but I need to be upfront with them. I thought long and hard last night. They are my brothers. Dylan didn’t mean to get us all separated and I sure as hell don’t blame him. We all come from the same place, survived the best we could and just want to get back to being family.
* * *
Tex says I’m armored up like an armadillo, and maybe I am. It’s scary letting people close. Maybe you guys don’t have a problem with it, but I do. I don’t think it was any one thing that made me this way, just the moving from home to home. It was just better not to count on people or care because it wouldn’t hurt so badly when I had to leave. I’m pretty sure it’s something that happened over time.
I don’t want to be like that with you guys.
But, I am that way with everyone else, and will be until I get to know them, which is why I’m not accepting all the friend requests from the people who came to the bar, Dylan. I don’t know them and they only know I’m your sister.
I promise not to grill you tonight like you’re being interrogated. I just hope your friends don’t show up again.
* * *
Dylan White:
No need to apologize. I was the same way for a long time.
My friends shouldn’t have been there last night and I told them as much after you left. They showed because they are nosy and they knew how long I’ve been trying to find my family. Thirteen of us go back to high school, all from similar backgrounds, and we bonded over not having family. Don’t tell them that I told you that because they are real private too. I’m just telling you so you get where they are coming from, and when I tell them to leave you alone, they’ll totally understand. And, they won’t be there tonight. I’ve already told them to stay away. The only person I don’t have control over is Alyssa. If she’s scheduled to work the bar, there isn’t much I can do about that.
* * *
Noah White:
Me too. Jade has probably been keeping people away too.
* * *
Who is Tex?
* * *
What exactly do I call Tex?
* * *
Nina White
Boyfriend, lover, best friend.
* * *
Dylan White
Bring him tonight.
They will meet, but not just yet.
* * *
Nina White:
Just you and me, okay? You’ll meet Tex in time. Besides, he probably has to work.
* * *
Dylan White:
Hopefully soon.
* * *
Noah White:
Already friended him. I’ll get to know your boyfriend, lover, friend from a distance, but I sure as hell don’t like the lover part.
I just laugh at that.
* * *
Nina White:
You’ll just have to deal with that I guess.
* * *
See you later, Dylan
* * *
Talk to you soon, Noah.
* * *
I click out of that chat and send a message to Tex.
* * *
Nina White:
My brother friended you, which is fine, just don’t go sharing too much.
* * *
Tennyson “Tex” Lippincott
I’ll keep it general. Love you.
* * *
I stare at the words for a minute. My fingers hovering over the keys. Then I type.
* * *
Nina White
Love you too
When I close out all the messages, I notice another friend request and click on it. Julia Lippincott wants to be my friend. I smile and accept. If Tex is going to be friends with my brothers, than I sure as hell am going to be friends with his sister.
The day just keeps getting better and better. Of course I’m not going to tell Noah or Dylan things that Nina wouldn’t want me to talk about, but I sure as hell love seeing those words love you too.
It’s a shame that Miguel will be back on Sunday because I really liked having all that alone time with Nina. That will cease to exist once he’s back. Hell, I won’t even be able to hug and kiss on her with Miguel around.
Which gives me an idea. I grab my phone and send a text.
Tex: Can you guys cover Friday and Saturday night
Joel: Why
Ian: So he can be alone with H before M gets back
Joel: Gotta work at 9 on Fri and Sat
Ian: Me too
Tex: No prob. Just thought I’d ask
Joel: I can cover to 8:30
Ian: Same
Tex: Start at 5?
Joel: Geez, how much time to you need to…
Tex: TALK is the word you’re looking for
Ian: I’m sure that’s not it
I’m not getting into a texting conversation about what Nina and I may or may not be doing.
Tex: Thanks for covering
Now, to plan for being alone with Nina on Friday and Saturday night until one of us has go to the gym.
I grin and head into my last class of the day.
40
At least the Poison Apple is practically empty when I arrive. There are other customers in there, though very few, and none of them are Dylan’s friends. Thank God. Even Joel is behind the bar tonight, which I’m okay with, since he’s a friend to both of us.
“Start over?” I ask Dylan when he comes over.
“Not starting over, just a continuation.”
“With me being nicer this time,” I add.
“You weren’t exactly a bitch, by the way.” He slides into a chair after picking a table away from everyone else.
<
br /> “I kind of felt that way after I got home and thought about how I treated you.”
“Water under the bridge,” he assures me. “And, I get it. I really do.”
Dylan grabs a menu off the table. “Hope you don’t mind. I didn’t get much of a chance to eat today. “
“From your food articles, I assumed you probably ate out every day.”
I’m hungry too because I didn’t eat today. I never really got a break from the gym and the diner doesn’t deliver.
He chuckles. “Not as much as it seems.”
“So, why food?”
“Something I fell into at college. I worked on the newspaper and wrote one article on a local restaurant who gave great deals for starving students and it snowballed after that.”
“And now you are a food connoisseur?”
“Hardly.” He snorts.
Joel comes over and puts a beer in front of Dylan and a tall glass of cranberry juice in front of me. “Thanks. My favorite.”
“I know,” he grunts. “What can I get you to eat?”
“I’ll take the burger and chips,” Dylan says.
Joel looks at me. “Same.”
This meeting with Dylan is a lot more comfortable than the first and we fall into talking about all kinds of things. I tell him about school, the colleges I’m looking at, Miguel’s and that I want to keep working there and run it someday. He tells me about his college and all of his writing. It’s really comfortable.
After Joel takes our empty plates away, Dylan leans back and looks at me. “Tell me about Tex.”
“Are you going to give me shit because I used lover earlier?”