“Then let me stay,” Nola said. “I want to be here. I want to help you save people.”
I want to be with Kieran.
Julian studied his pale hands for a long moment. “I’m afraid that’s impossible.”
“But you just said—”
“I said being a vampire wasn’t that bad. I didn’t say you could be allowed to stay in Nightland.”
“But—”
“They know you’re here, Nola,” Julian said. “We’ve told the domes we kidnapped you. If we don’t give you back to them, it could start a war. And if the domes decided to fight the vampires in earnest, I don’t even want to begin to imagine how terrible the damage to both sides would be. You have to go back. There is nothing else to be done.”
“I could tell them it was me. That I ran away. Then they’ll banish me.”
“Think, Nola. Between the story we’ve written for you and the truth, which do you think they’re most likely to believe?”
“But if I only tell them the truth, your story won’t matter.”
“They know the beginning of our kidnapping tale,” Julian said. “That will be enough. They’ll claim brainwashing or coercion. We have to give you back in the trade. It’s the only way.”
“The only solution is a lie,” Nola said.
“A lie, yes.” Julian patted Nola’s hand. “And a hope you might eventually forget how wonderful the truth you lost could have been.”
Nola closed her eyes, hating the sympathy on Julian’s face.
“We can work on your story again tonight,” Julian said, taking Nola’s cup to the sink. “It’s late. You should get some sleep.”
“By late you mean early?” Nola’s head spun from fatigue and trying to keep everything straight in her mind. What had happened since she left the domes, what she had to say had happened, and what could never happen.
“The morning is rather new.” Julian washed both of their cups.
“Do vampires sleep?”
“Yes.” Julian gave a half-shrug. “Most sleep at least an hour or two a day, mostly out of habit. We can go for a week or more without really feeling the physical need to sleep. But when days don’t end, it takes a toll on the mind.”
A door in the back of the kitchen opened, and a tiny girl emerged, her curly hair still rumpled from sleep.
“Eden.” Julian swept the little girl into his arms.
Eden’s face split into a grin, and she giggled as Julian rocked her back and forth.
“How are you this fine morning?” Julian said.
Eden bit her lips together, her brown eyes on Nola.
“Don’t be afraid,” Julian said, following Eden’s gaze. “You know Nola. She’s the one who got you your medicine. Can you say thank you, Nola?”
“Thank you, Nola,” Eden said in a voice barely loud enough to be heard before burying her face in Julian’s neck.
“Why don’t we take Nola someplace she can get a bit of sleep, and then you and I can go find your father?” Julian asked.
Eden nodded.
Julian led Nola into the hallway and toward the room lined with bunks. Nola expected him to lead her to one of the metal bunk beds, but instead, he walked farther down the hall than Nola had been before.
“I’m sure no one will mind.” Julian stopped at an unmarked door and gave it a cursory knock before swinging it open. “Sleep well.”
Nola stepped into the room, not turning as the door closed behind her.
It was Kieran’s room. She could tell without him even being there. He and his father had barely been able to take anything with them when they left the domes. A few pictures hung on the wall. Kieran with his parents all smiling at a party. Kieran and Nola high up in the willow tree in Bright Dome.
There were sketches of plants and animals. And Nola. She stared back at herself from the wall.
But the drawing was a perfected version of herself. The shape of the face was right, and so were the eyes. The pale freckles that dotted her nose and the tiny mark near her eye were all there. Still, she looked different. Calm, beautiful, and angelic.
A version of me I could never hope to be.
Nola reached up for the picture, wanting to study it, to see what Kieran’s idea of her could teach her, but the door opened again.
“Julian said he was done for the morning,” Kieran said, glancing from Nola to the sketch of ‘perfect Nola.’
Heat rose in Nola’s cheeks. “We’re done.”
“Sorry,” Kieran said, running a hand through his hair, “if that’s weird.” He swept a hand toward the sketch. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
“It’s beautiful,” Nola said.
“Not as beautiful as the original.”
His words hung in the air for a moment.
“I haven’t seen you draw anything since—” Nola paused.
Why am I making this worse?
“Since my mom died.” Kieran picked up a pad of paper from the desk. His mother’s face gazed up at them, a smile caught on her lips. “It took a while.”
Nola took Kieran’s hand, squeezing it tightly.
“You should get some sleep.” Kieran lifted a small pile of clothes from the bed and tossed it onto the ground.
Nola laughed.
“I know,” Kieran said. “Even down here where I hardly own anything I still can’t keep my room clean. Dad comes in here every day to stare at the mess.”
“Some things don’t change.”
“Maybe,” Kieran said, his eyes locking with Nola’s for a moment before flicking away.
“Kieran, Jeremy and I,” Nola said, willing herself to get the words out before she lost her chance, “we’re not together.”
“Yet.”
“No.”
“You’ve kissed him,” Kieran said. It wasn’t a question. “You’ve kissed him. And even if you’re not together yet, even if you’re not in love with him yet, you will be.”
“No, I won’t.”
“He’s a good guy, Nola.” Pain etched Kieran’s words. “Hell, he’s probably a better guy than I ever could have been even if I’d stayed in the domes. He’s steady and strong. When you get home, he’ll take care of you. He’ll be with you every day while you try to forget what you saw down here. And then one day you’ll realize he’s the best thing you’ve got. And in a few years the Marriage Board will tell you it’s time to pick someone as your pair, and you’ll pick him. You’ll get married, have kids, and forget all about Nightland—”
Nola cut off his words with a smack. Her hand throbbed from hitting Kieran’s face, but she couldn’t see more than his blurred outline through her tears.
“How dare you,” Nola said. “How dare you decide what my life will be, what Jeremy’s life will be?”
“I didn’t decide. The domes did.”
“What if that’s not what I want?” Nola yelled. “I don’t want to be with Jeremy just because—”
“Because it’s the way things work for Domers.”
“Because I can’t have you.” Nola sank down to her knees. “You say I have to go back to the domes to survive, but what kind of life will I have?”
Kieran knelt, wrapping his arms around her. He smelled like he always had, the scent she had known for years.
Are vampires supposed to smell so human?
“That’s the problem with trying to save the human race,” Kieran whispered. “You lose humanity.”
Nola swiped her tears away with trembling hands.
Kieran lifted her onto the bed. “Sleep, Nola.”
Nola shook her head as more tears streamed down her face. “I can’t. If this is it, if I never get to see you again, I want to be with you. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to miss it.”
“You aren’t going to miss anything,” Kieran murmured. “I’ll be right here. I’ll hold you close. And when you wake up, you’ll still be in my arms. Won’t that be a thing to remember?”
He lay down next to Nola, and she put her head on his
shoulder in the place where she fit so perfectly.
“Goodnight, Nola,” Kieran whispered. “I love you.”
His words ran through her, filling her up before shattering her.
“I love you, too.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ice surrounded her. But something deep in the back of her mind told her to hold the ice closer even as she shivered. That the cold she was feeling was precious and not to be let go.
“Nola,” a voice whispered as the cold began to move away. “Nola, you’re shaking.” Lips brushed her forehead.
Nola’s eyes fluttered open, and Kieran was gazing down at her. She pulled herself closer to his chest, not looking away from his eyes. Their black was still rimmed in a thin band of gold-speckled green.
“I don’t mind the cold.” Nola traced her fingers along Kieran’s chin. A strong chin. A man’s chin. Bits of stubble caught on her fingers.
When did we become grownups? Did it happen before the world got this dark or after?
Kieran wrapped both arms around her, pulling her to his chest. Nola closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of being held so tight he could not possibly let go.
“It’s time to get up anyway,” Kieran said, again pressing his lips to her forehead. “Bea will have breakfast waiting for you, and Julian will want to talk through your story again.”
“Can’t they wait?” Nola gripped Kieran’s t-shirt with her fingers.
“Probably not.”
Nola’s stomach squirmed at the regret in his voice.
“How long before it’s time?”
“Eight hours until you leave Nightland. Nine until the exchange.”
Nola’s ribcage turned to stone. She couldn’t breathe. Her lungs had no space to expand. “That’s not much time.”
“Let’s not waste any of it.” Kieran tipped Nola’s chin up. Softly, gently, he kissed her.
Nola’s heart raced. She pressed herself against him, memorizing the feeling of his body next to hers.
With a creak, the bedroom door swung open.
Nola gasped as Dr. Wynne stared down at them, his face a mix between confusion and disappointment.
“Nola, you’re needed in the kitchen.” Dr. Wynne’s voice was brusque and businesslike, something Nola had rarely heard from him.
Nola awkwardly struggled to climb over Kieran without looking him or Dr. Wynne in the face.
The bed springs creaked as Kieran stood.
“Nola, to the kitchen,” Dr. Wynne said. “Kieran, stay here.”
Nola walked out into the hall without looking back.
The door slammed behind her. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a shuddering breath.
They’ll let me say goodbye to Kieran.
They would have to or…
Or what?
She would refuse to go back to the domes in the exchange and let the Outer Guard destroy Nightland?
A laugh shook Nola’s chest. A high hysterical laugh she wouldn’t have recognized as her own if she hadn’t felt it ripping from her throat.
“I like it.” Raina’s voice pulled Nola from her frenzy. “A little insanity. It’ll help sell the kidnapping story to the Domers.”
“A little insanity perhaps.” Julian peered over Raina’s shoulder, his dark cup already in his hand. “But if she really has lost her mind, she might not be able to remember what to tell them, and then where would we be?”
“I remember,” Nola said. “I remember all of it. I know the coat and trying to escape. I know I was dropped and there were lots of voices. I know all of it.” Nola tugged a hand through her knotted hair. “I’m a quick learner. Just let me go back to Kieran.”
“Really? You’ve already been in there all night,” Raina said.
“And I’d really like for you to shut up!” Nola growled.
Raina smiled and tossed her purple and scarlet hair over her shoulder. “Is that what you want?”
“I think Raina should go back to practicing killing things,” Julian said, stepping around Raina, “and Nola should come and brush up her details with me. Raina will get to stab things, which always makes her more cheerful, and the sooner Nola and I are done, the sooner she can be swept back into young love’s tender throes.“
“Fine.” Raina turned and sauntered back toward to gallery. “See you in a few.”
Julian gave Nola a tight smile. “After you.”
The old woman was already standing over the stove in the kitchen, poking at something in a pan with a wooden spoon.
Nola sat down in the same seat she had taken the night before, willing herself not to start tracing the scratch with her finger again.
The clink of a plate being pulled from the cupboard brought Nola’s attention back to the present as Bea shuffled over with breakfast—grilled vegetables and a little hunk of meat.
“Thank you,” Nola murmured, deciding not to ask what sort of meat it was. She sniffed the plate, her mouth beginning to water. Carefully, she speared a green vegetable onto her fork. It tasted earthy and pungent, but like food.
“No more tinny taste?” Julian asked.
“It’s gone,” Nola said. She watched as Julian took a sip from his cup. “Do you miss food?”
“Me?” Julian chuckled. “No.” He paused for a moment. “No, I really don’t miss eating. But then, I was so ill before I became a vampire, eating had ceased to be a real option for me, so I suppose I am a terrible judge.”
“Right.”
“Now, down to business.” Julian rubbed his hands together. “Who moved the glass?”
The next few hours passed slowly, Julian asking Nola the same questions in slightly different ways until her head spun.
“Well,” Julian said when Nola had explained how she had gotten out of the Iron Dome for the twelfth time, “I think that’s as good as we’re going to get. And just remember, if you get confused, tell them you hit your head and all you remember is darkness and fear. Hopefully they’ll feel sorry enough for you to leave you alone until you can sort out what you’re supposed to say.”
“You know the Outer Guard,” Nola said as real fear clawed at her stomach. “They aren’t known for their kindness and compassion.”
“Careful, Nola,” Julian said, “you’re starting to sound like a Nightlander. I think our time here is done.” Julian looked over Nola’s shoulder.
Nola turned to find Kieran leaning against the doorframe. His dark hair stuck out at odd angles, and anger marked his face.
“I tried to keep things as swift as possible.”
“Thanks, Julian,” Kieran said, stepping into the kitchen and taking Nola’s hand.
“Get our Cinderella back here by three. We don’t want her to be late for the party being held in her honor.” Julian nodded to them both and left the room, still holding his cup.
“How did it go?” Kieran asked after a long moment.
“Good,” Nola said. “At least I think it went well. I’ve never been prepped to tell a giant lie before. What did your dad say?”
“Nothing.” Kieran pressed his palm to his forehead. “Everything I already knew and had decided to forget. Dad’s great at that.”
Nola took Kieran’s hands in her own, tracing the calluses that marked his palms with her finger.
“What do we do now?” Nola asked, studying Kieran’s face, trying to memorize every line, even those formed by anger.
“If we were in the domes,” Kieran said, twisting his hands so their fingers laced perfectly together, “I would say we should climb onto your roof and look at the stars.”
“Or go lay under the willow tree,” Nola said. “How many hours do you think we spent under that tree? Not talking or doing anything really. Just being together.”
“Not nearly enough.”
Nola laid her head on his shoulder. “We could go back to the garden.”
“It’s raining again,” Kieran said. “Besides, I don’t think Emanuel will let me take you aboveground until it’s time. It’s too risky.�
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“I can’t just sit here.” Nola stepped away from Kieran, her body telling her to run from the room. To keep running and running so the world couldn’t catch her. “I can’t just sit and count down the time. I need to do something.”
“You’ve never been good at waiting.” Kieran caught Nola around the waist, pulling her back into his arms.
“Never.” Nola wound her arms around him. Her stomach purred.
If Dr. Wynne hadn’t walked in, where would we be right now?
“I have an idea.” Kieran swayed side to side with Nola as though they were dancing. “Let’s go to Nightland.”
“We’re in Nightland.” Nola laughed in spite of herself as Kieran twirled her under his arm.
“5th and Nightland. Let’s go dance. We’ll forget morning is ever coming.”
Nola leaned in and kissed him. “Promise you’ll hold me?”
“Until the sun comes up.”
Kieran took her hand and led her out to the gallery.
Nola expected there to be someone at the door to make them stay in Emanuel’s house, but Kieran led her into the tunnel without interruption. Whatever Dr. Wynne had said, he wasn’t keeping Kieran from 5th and Nightland.
They didn’t talk as they walked. What was there to say?
The closer they got to the club, the more Nola worried she wouldn’t fit in with the other revelers.
I’m wearing Raina’s old clothes. I can’t get much more vampire than that without ReVamp.
Every few hundred yards, a vampire stood against the wall. They didn't wear any sort of uniform, but something about their posture, the way their gaze followed her and Kieran, made Nola certain they were guards.
“Did Emanuel put the extra guards on watch?” Nola whispered as they passed another guard, this one a boy not much older than herself with flaming red hair. “Because of the Outer Guard?” The red-haired boy’s neck stiffened at the mention of the Outer Guard.
“Yes,” Kieran said. “The housing tunnel is under strict watch. The club can defend itself, and so can the working areas. But this tunnel is where the kids are. The ones who can’t fight. It’s where Eden would be if Emanuel weren’t her father.”
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