Ashar nodded gratefully and followed Irv back to the trail. He still felt tired and drowsy, but Irv seemed reenergized.
“The map is the best way to find water, if ya have it. I always recommend grabbing the guidebook or a map when you can. Never hurts to be prepared, but there are creeks and streams. Water travels down, so following a slope can lead ya to water too.”
By the time Ashar was stretched out in his sleeping bag for the night, he was ready for Irv to stop talking. He’d done his best to focus on the fountain of information coming from Irv on wind direction and starting a fire no matter the season. How to build a shelter and where to build it so you didn’t end up wet or food for insects or other animals. How to use the sky to find your way.
Gazing up at the stars helped him settle. He couldn’t see many through the tangle of heavy branches shielding them, but the few that sparked the patch of sky were bright and vibrant.
Chapter Five
Over the next couple of weeks, Ashar learned to look for trees that bore nuts, berry bushes, and to watch the ground for chicory, dandelion, burdock, wild sorrel, and mushrooms.
Irv put no pressure on him to hurry anywhere, nor did he hold Ash back. They traversed wherever the day led, and Irv taught as they went. There was a peace different from any Ashar had known before. Being a small speck inside of a space full of everything good swept him away, made him appreciate his new world even more.
He found great satisfaction in following a trail and discovering a waterfall over a peak. In seeing the sun rise or set on banks of trees or glistening water. Using the trail guide to put names to the foliage and birds around him when Irv didn’t know; all of it made his surroundings feel more familiar.
The Talladega National Forest was their next destination, but they gave it no timeframe. It bordered the southern edge of the Appalachian Mountains and Irv hadn’t yet found himself within the State of Alabama and had stated that he was thrilled with the idea of studying a new state and finding out what made it special.
It became a constant topic of conversation as they traveled. Irv was confident in his ability to identify edible plants in new regions, but said it was still a good idea to stop and find the book specific to the state. Knowing what wild animals you could encounter, any poisonous plants they didn’t already know of, and expected temperatures for the area was helpful information to have.
Irv was adept at topics that involved their surroundings, but didn’t talk about himself much. Ashar, not wanting to open up the door to his own past, didn’t ask. He’d become comfortable with Irv.
Not talking about the past gave Ashar plenty of time to think about it. He felt like he was dissecting every moment he could remember, the actions of his parents, and always, the mysterious letter.
After he’d come across his parents and the check, he’d withdrawn, but still been obedient when they’d taken him to the next doctor and then the next. He’d watched them when they’d been present, talking to medical personnel about his health history. It had bothered him to see them differently: cold, clinical, calculating.
Neither of them had ever been affectionate or open about feelings or emotions, but he hadn’t seen that as a character flaw before. They’d simply been his parents, not the strangers he began to observe almost as an enemy.
He’d been at his job when an email had come through. His name had been on the subject line, so he’d opened it, assuming it was a task from his boss. Instead, it had been a warning from an anonymous source telling him that he was in danger, that his parents had scheduled a surgery for one of the bones on his back to be removed.
It had taken at least a dozen readings before he had grasped the reality of it, before the hurt had made him physically ill.
Lots of people knew about his bones. He had wanted to discount it as a joke, a mean trick. Except he hadn’t been able to. He had recalled the cold stance of his parents when they discussed him with doctors, and had known that it was true. Known that he needed to leave, as the unknown sender urged.
The letter had given no date, but Ashar had used his anger and hurt to fuel him as he’d gone to the bank to empty his account, then packed his clothes and bedding, all while contemplating the thought of having a bone removed.
It had horrified him then to think about, and still did. He hadn’t seen a purpose in it, but in his head when he considered it, all he had been able to see was his back ripped open and bleeding. All he could imagine was a gaping empty space where his fourth wing would be.
Irv abruptly stopped in front of him, cutting off his train of memory.
“Ya rethinking all this?” Irv asked over his shoulder, quirking a corner of his mouth, narrowing his eyes, tilting his head.
Ashar shook his head, surprised at the question. “No, why?”
“You’ve been quiet a lot the last few days. We’ll be coming up on a visitor center for the Talladega Forest soon, so if ya want to reconsider, now would be the time.”
Squaring his shoulders, Ashar shook his head again, more vehemently this time. “No, Irv, I’m good. Just… thinking too much.”
“Right. Well, here’s the deal. They’ve got bath houses at the center so we can wash our clothes and bedding. A luxury ya should not get used to, but bro… ya appreciate a hot shower when there's one to be had. We can hang around there a couple days, and you can decide what you want to do.”
It bothered Ashar that Irv didn’t believe him, but he didn’t want to share where his thoughts had been.
As promised, they used the opportunity to wash everything and take the time to enjoy the amenities. The hot shower did feel wonderful and refreshing, and it was nice to eat something besides berries and nuts.
The visitor center was an expansive one and offered more than the usual packaged food items, magazines and first aid supplies. It also offered camping supplies, and Ashar purchased a hammock that could be strung up between two trees. He thought Irv was going to razz him for it, but instead, Irv bought one too.
Ashar still had not gotten used to sleeping on the hard ground. Every time he rolled onto his back, his bones pressed hard into the ground, and it was uncomfortable.
“So, we’re both off then?” Irv questioned. They’d spent the night in a rustic site in their new hammocks and packed up early to the sound of nearby campers laughing over breakfast.
Loaded up, Irv stood at the edge of the open area, thumbs hooked beneath his chest straps, relaxed as he waited for an answer.
“I’m ready,” Ashar agreed, appreciating that Irv could so nonchalantly ask about his future while applying no pressure.
Irv looked over his shoulder and perused the rising mountain range behind them. “We’ve got 392,567 acres of forest to explore, so…”
“Yep. I’m ready,” Ashar repeated.
Irv peered at Ashar, his eyes darkening, his lips slanting down. “Ya ever think about disappearing? Ya know, going off grid?”
Ashar ran the words through his head. He didn’t understand the sudden somber shift over Irv, the shadows hovering in his eyes. “I don’t know what you mean, Irv.”
“I’m saying, bro, that every time I put myself back with people and hear the crud going on in the world, I think it’s better to be lost.”
Ashar felt lost at the moment. He had no idea what Irv was trying to say. He tried to remember conversations he might have overheard. The television had been on in the visitor center café, but he hadn’t watched it. Had the news been on?
Irv grinned widely, the shadows dispersing, his smile crinkling his eyes. He spoke cheerily. “Anyway, let’s head to the highest point in Alabama then, at Cheaha Mountain. I don’t like being the norm, but it’s a popular tourist destination and I’d like to see it. We can reach the point, then disappear into the beautiful panorama and set off to somewhere unpopulated by people.”
“Uh, right. Sounds like a great plan,” Ashar agreed, smiling back hesitantly. Maybe Irv just struggled being around crowds. That was a thing, right?
&nbs
p; He thought about it while they walked. Irv was ‘off the grid’ as far as he could tell. He didn’t live among people, lived off the land. Irv’s comments were more out of place the more thought Ashar gave to them. Essentially the both of them had disappeared by world standards. No one knew where they were or what they were doing.
Ashar wanted to question Irv. The deeper they got into the forest, the more disturbed he felt. They were lost on purpose. Perhaps Irv had been questioning him. Enough time had gone by that they had what Ashar would call a friendship, but not enough time to call it a deep one. Ashar didn’t even know what that would mean anyway. He’d never had someone in his life that he could call a friend.
If Irv had been hinting that he hadn’t thought through his decision and been attempting to get him to stay behind… Ash’s fingers slid over the fabric of his jacket, back and forth. Teaching him was probably a bother, having someone follow you around that required constant direction.
Maybe Irv had dropped hints that he had missed for a while now. Ashar looked around at the tall trees. There was a flutter of wings as a bird took flight. A ray of sunshine reached down to caress a patch of dirt. He watched Irv’s boots as he walked, seeing the faint traces of the soles in the dirt as his own footsteps followed.
It was too late to turn back now. The highest point of the mountain was just ahead. He stood with Irv, stared out at the view of the massive expanse of the forest that Cheaha Mountain gave them. It was a breathtaking display of green life that sounded a chord of yearning within him. Ashar wanted to find out what secrets the trees hid. They called to him with their beckoning branches.
Ashar looked at Irv beside him. Irv was relaxed, his thumbs hooked beneath the straps over his chest, his weight settled on his heels, a soft smile on his face.
“This is home,” Ashar stated.
Irv nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed. “It is.”
Hesitant to say more, Ashar grasped the hem of his jacket, squeezing. “I don’t want to go back.” It was all he could manage.
Irv’s head bobbed and he grinned. “Don’t know why ya would. I know ya like waterfalls, so let’s go off trail and see if we can find one to hang out by for a few days, eh?”
Irv’s cheery answer only further confused Ashar. He hadn’t wanted Irv to dissuade him, but questioning Irv’s recent words had threatened the feeling of belonging that he had just been beginning to savor.
Chapter Six
Ash sat up, listening. The shelter they had set up was not conducive for comfort if a storm was coming and he thought he had heard thunder. So far since he’d made the forest his home, the weather had been great, with only bouts of light rain here and there.
Early morning light sifted down through lush tree branches and speared in under the cover of the rustic lean-to he and Irv had assembled. He heard the sound again, like thunder reverberating in the stillness, but something seemed off.
“Sounds like a storm coming, bro,” Irv mumbled sleepily from his hammock as it sounded again.
Ashar’s heart rate had kicked up several notches, and foreboding was fluttering in his stomach. “I don’t think it’s a storm, Irv,” he responded quietly. “I have a bad feeling.” His chest felt tight, and his fingers found the hem of his jacket and rubbed, sliding over the thick ridge of the seam to the thin fabric above, and back, immediately calming his roiling stomach.
Irv unzipped his sleeping bag, yawning as he pushed the top layer aside. “Let’s add more coverage before it starts to rain,” he suggested, rolling into a sitting position to swing out of the hammock. “We’ll need to have a better roof for a good pouring.”
Ash rolled out of his own hammock, automatically shifting so his front faced Irv as he knelt to find his shoes. After rushing for nothing for so long, it felt ominous to feel the urgency rolling through him as he moved his pack further back toward the shelter wall.
Another loud boom sounded and both turned, eyes lifting. The last one had easily been identifiable as some type of explosion, not thunder, and although they looked up, neither could see past the tree cover above them.
“Not a storm. This is bad, bad, bad,” Irv muttered, yanking his pack on. “Let’s go. You were right, that isn’t thunder.”
Ashar grabbed at the pack he had just shoved back, casting a look around their camp. They needed to dismantle the shelter, return the area back to what it had been, but Irv was waiting impatiently. Ash shook his head and stepped into line behind Irv, matching the brisk pace as they set off.
The sound of more explosions echoed as they walked, increasing in span for awhile, then becoming less consistent. Black smoke rose high into the sky above the tall trees, guiding them toward whatever was happening.
They caught glimpses of what Irv thought was state route 77, and, while it was deserted, they stayed out of sight, choosing instead to navigate through the foliage of the forest floor.
Veering around a few residential properties, they continued on, the sky getting blacker. They saw no movement from any of the homes they passed. Ashar wondered if the occupants were huddled inside, afraid of the possibilities outside their doors, or if they were watching the circumstances playing out on the news.
Irv motioned toward a steeple. Neither of them had spoken, other than to make quick decisions about direction. Ashar nodded. He was more than happy to seek answers from a church. The steeple reminded him that they were not alone, and that God was in control of whatever was happening.
They had to cross the state route to get to the church and both stopped in the middle to stare. The pavement ran forward into a burning city. Smoke rose, blanketing the air in a thick black cloud ahead of them.
For a long time they stood together and just watched the smoke billow and drown out the sky in the distance, the enormity of it shocking. They said nothing.
It was Irv who spoke first. “Let’s go see if there’s anyone at that church that knows anything. I feel your bad feeling, and I need more information to process.”
Ash only nodded. Maybe they could do something. He didn’t want to think about dying people, or the number that had already died, but there could be people trapped and waiting on help that they could offer.
A sign welcomed them to the Shiloh Baptist Church. The front door opened as they came closer and a man came appeared. Ashar stopped, uncertain. The man looked weary and stricken, afraid. He moved forward slowly, not wanting to add to the man’s obvious fear. His fingers slid over the fabric of his jacket.
Irv hung back as they got closer. Ashar had learned from the snippets of personal conversations that had passed between them that Irv was not fond of churches. He didn’t know the reason why. Irv had spoken vaguely about some past trauma in the church that he blamed God for.
“We’ve only come to ask what’s happening?” Ashar explained as he approached the man, halting when he noticed the gleam of black metal at the man’s side. Following the direction of Ashar’s look, the man heaved a long, weary sigh before answering. “War.”
The word was like an explosion itself, deafening, propelling the foreboding into nausea that had him leaning over to place his palms on his knees and breathe deep to fight a dizzying wave of darkness that clouded into his head.
Irv rushed up beside him, putting a hand on his arm. “Ya okay?” Ash didn’t think Irv had been close enough to hear the man’s answer.
Opening his eyes to stare at the ground, Ashar pulled in a deep breath, then exhaled, fighting the dizziness. A few small particles of ash speckled the ground in front of him, the flecks finding a home among the green. He was sure he had heard wrong.
Straightening, he made his eyes meet the dull numbness he saw in the man’s eyes. “War? Is that what you said? How is that possible?” he asked.
Time suddenly felt weird, out of place. He hadn’t left home that long ago, but that moment and the one happening now crashed together, crushing him from opposite sides. His fingers sought his hem again, squeezing, his thumb nail delving into a tiny hole just above
the seam that had worn through.
“Better to be lost,” Irv muttered.
Ashar swung his head around to stare at Irv.
“Yes, war,” the man confirmed, his speech slow and hopeless. “Talladega has been bombed, and so have many other major cities in the United States. Reports were still coming in when it all just went to static.”
He stopped, his eyes glazed with shock. Despair and pain gripped the lines on his face. “So many bombings... they just kept reporting more. I didn’t want to listen to more. Couldn’t. I didn’t want to believe it. I don’t want to believe it.”
Looking down at the gun and lifting it out in front of him, he seemed to contemplate it. “I’m afraid, so afraid.” He looked back up, his mouth contorting, his head shaking. “I’m the pastor of this church and I stand in front of people every Sunday and tell them not to be afraid, that a Savior loves them and holds them up, but it’s all been a lie. I get what I say in the mail. Sermons typed up for me. I don’t even believe in God. I was going to shoot myself before another bomb takes me, but I’m terrified there really is a hell.”
Ashar was shaking. He’d felt the same way when his parents had become strangers, and again when he had read the letter telling him of his fate. The words the pastor spoke of his soul horrified him. He wanted to cry, to scream. To make time go backwards to a moment when everything had felt safe.
Beside him, Irv stood with his arms crossed over his chest, anger on his face.
Hopelessness tightened the air, and prickled along Ashar’s skin. The threat to his freedom was a hard punch. He had only just found it, was just beginning to live it.
Gloom shrouded around them, as thick as the smoke that filled the sky. The air stung his eyes, the scent was acrid. How had he just noticed that? He wanted to sink down and cry.
Seal Two Page 3