I didn’t know what to say, so I just wrapped my arms around her thin frame and held her as tightly as I could manage. I felt bad for having brought the subject up, but I had no idea. I glanced at Eli to see that he was looking away, his expression a conglomerate of emotions ranging from pain, to disgust, to hatred. I assumed the latter two were directed at the people who had done that to Risa, because I couldn’t imagine him ever being disgusted at her no matter what she’d been through.
After a few minutes, Risa sighed and pulled away. “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel bad for me. It happened when I was really young. I just didn’t want to hide it from you. I don’t want to hide anything from you.”
I gazed into her golden eyes for a few seconds before responding with a nod. “Thank you Risa. I am sorry for bringing it up. But, now that I know, I won’t mention it again. And I’ll still see you for you, like you asked.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, glancing up at Eli. I looked up at him as well, seeing that Risa was actually holding his gaze for once. I wasn’t sure if he understood what she was expecting, so I used our special connection to demand what she wanted.
His eyes held mine briefly, before looking back at her. “Me too,” he whispered. “I’ll see you for you.” He then looked away, seeming embarrassed by her reaction. Her cheeks were flushed red and she was looking down at the ground now…
And I felt like I was going to be sick, realizing I may have just helped their budding relationship along.
I tried to push my feelings aside as my eyes began to sting again.
Chapter 11: Proclamation
Once the three humans returned, Tobias had Eli help him with the horses. Now that he knew Eli could actually turn into a dragon, he wanted to confirm that the beasts wouldn’t be skittish around him for tomorrow’s trip. I had never even thought about it, but thus far it seemed like Eli’s illusion worked just as well on the eyes as it did the nose. None of the horses we had been around had reacted any differently than if a normal person was nearby.
I didn’t mind that Tobias had stolen him for a while, because I needed some time to myself to think. Risa ended up passing out on Mira’s bed, being exhausted from having used her magic.
I could sense that she still had an unbelievable amount of energy hidden inside her, but her endurance for using it didn’t match her capabilities.
That was one of the odd things about magic use. A mage who depleted their magic entirely over the course of several days, by using it faster than it could regenerate, might not feel physically exhausted from being low. However, if they used their magic faster than their level of endurance could handle, then mental and physical exhaustion would ensue.
Needing the time alone, I told Mira that I was tired too, and used the excuse to sit on the bed next to Risa while I contemplated my feelings.
I had barely known Eli for a full day, and yet already I felt like my depth of emotions towards him far surpassed what it should at this point. Granted, I knew that there was substance to my attachment towards him. For one, we were literally bound together for life, but it still felt weird. I knew that just because I was bound to him forever didn’t mean I would automatically like him.
Yet I did like him. A lot.
More than that even. I felt like I loved him already.
In barely a day, I had seen him take an arrow for me – twice. Someone who he barely knew. He didn’t have to protect me at all, and in fact he could have let me die yesterday to free himself of this magic. He had also stayed up all night to protect us all, and while I knew he did it for everyone, I still had to admit that I couldn’t help but be enamored with his selflessness.
And then there was the situation with the elves. He had been willing to live in this town, or even the forest, for me to remain safe in the elves’ protected kingdom.
That wasn’t an insignificant offer. He would have to remain here for life, never able to return home, in order to keep me safe.
Why would he do that?
Why go so far for a stranger?
Part of me wanted to believe there was a deeper meaning behind his actions – that maybe he felt the same way about me. But I knew that couldn’t be possible.
But he also defended me against the elves when I rejected their offer. And while it hadn’t come to blows, it was obvious he was willing to fight against them if needed to keep me safe.
How could I not fall in love with that?
In less than a day, he had shown more kindness, consideration, and selflessness towards me than any other person had in my entire life. He was handsome, level-headed, powerful, and didn’t appear to view me as being beneath him. He saw me as an equal. I was used to seeing elven men treat women like they were lesser beings, with magical prowess being the only reason why a female might be perceived as an equal to a man. Yet I didn’t sense that from Eli at all. I felt confident he would treat any woman he was with as an equal, no matter her magical abilities.
How could I not fall in love with him?
But that was also the problem. Because I couldn’t imagine a world in which he could come to love me too. If anything, he would probably be disturbed that I felt so strongly towards him when so little time had passed.
I was one of those crazy girls who became infatuated with no solid reason, scaring off the object of their obsession with their clinginess and attempts to control their life.
Except that I had reasons to love him. Good, valid reasons.
I had plenty of reservations about the other men I had recently met, both the two humans Theo and Landon, as well as the elves I’d known. But with Eli, I couldn’t think of a single reason why I shouldn’t be head over heels in love with him. There wasn’t even a hint of anything to be wary of.
Quite the opposite. It was as if he was perfect for me – everything I ever wanted in a companion, and then some.
Except for the fact that I knew the love would never be mutual.
How could he love me? Unlike him, there was nothing special or amazing about me. And at the very least, I had nothing on Risa. She was tall, beautiful, kind, and I suspected very loyal. If she fell in love with a man, I had no doubt she would appreciate him and be faithful to him no matter what, especially considering her history.
As I sat on Mira’s bed, leaning against the wall with my knees curled up to my almost nonexistent chest, I tried to sort through my feelings towards Eli. I knew I couldn’t reveal that I cared so much, and I’d have to be extra careful since the magic that bound us allowed me to communicate to him without words. Just the idea of his reaction, if he discovered through our bond that I loved him so desperately after only a day, was mortifying.
I had already messed up earlier when I saw him and Risa together. I couldn’t afford to let my feelings slip like that again.
Instead, I just needed to focus on the task at hand, and I needed to avoid getting jealous if Risa and Eli continued to warm up to each other. He wasn’t mine, and he probably never would be. It was bad enough that I had bound him to me for life against his will, so it would be worse if I actually tried to control his life because of it. Thus far, he had been surprisingly forgiving, but I didn’t want him to hate me by demanding he choose me over Risa, or any other girl for that matter. It wasn’t like he had been given a choice in being summoned or enslaved.
I had done this to him. It was a miracle he didn’t hate me.
By the time Mira had come to let me know dinner was ready, I had collected myself enough to be presentable. I woke Risa up and maintained my composure during the evening meal, trying to appear as normal as possible by socializing with everyone. As far as I could tell, no one sensed I had heavy thoughts on my mind – not even Eli.
After dinner, I took off my mini-jacket and went outside to do some light exercises and swing my sword a little. I didn’t especially want to work up a sweat, but I needed to do something calming to keep my thoughts clear, and I knew I could always rinse off at the well again before I went to sleep.
>
Getting into my familiar stances did help clear my mind some, since focusing on the present was part of my training. However, I wasn’t used to being watched so intently. At one point or another, all of them came to see what I was doing, as if it was something special. I supposed my movements did involve a lot of balancing, which was meant to strengthen a fighter’s adaptability in a battle.
Having a solid grounding was the easy part. But in a real fight, it was the ability to be flexible and maintain that grounding, even when a normal person might be thrown off balance, that often determined who would win. Thus, my stances often involved placing myself in awkward positions and holding it until my muscles began to tremble from the effort.
It was hatha asana – slow-paced swordplay that involved refining both the body and mind.
Once I was finished with the basics, I switched to hatha kata – fast-paced swordplay with the intention of developing speed and endurance. I had definitely worked up a sweat by the time I was done, and looked forward to rinsing off before bed.
I was glad when Tobias requested Eli and Landon’s help with something, because even despite my practice, I couldn’t seem to keep my thoughts from occasionally straying back to Eli. Especially since I knew he was watching me.
At the very least, my exercises had one benefit. I was finally tired enough to sleep when I was done. I quickly rinsed off in the washroom near the well, wishing I had the time to take a proper bath since it appeared they had heated water, but I needed sleep more desperately. I scrubbed my leather shorts and purple top too, the latter of which I wore damp back into the house after wringing it out thoroughly.
Even despite my efforts to stay focused, I was only further enamored with Eli when he again stayed awake most of the night to keep watch. But I had to remember he wasn’t doing it only for me. Still, I ended up staying awake longer than I would have liked thinking about him.
However, unlike the previous day, I woke up in time to see him just as he was heading to bed himself. The encounter was truly coincidental, but we both paused awkwardly in the hallway when we came across each other. I had managed to maintain appearances so far, but I was afraid my desperate feelings for him were going to leak out if I wasn’t careful. Thus, I politely wished him goodnight and quickly slipped around him to head off to the kitchen to help make breakfast.
Landon and Mira were both already up, which is why Eli was heading to sleep for a few hours in the first place.
I felt like I could feel his eyes on me as I left, but I didn’t turn around to see if it was my imagination or not. Overall, I believed myself to be doing a good job of keeping my emotions at bay. I kept my mind as clear as possible and just pretended like Eli was an acquaintance to me, and nothing more.
Technically, from his point of view, I was sure that was what we were anyway.
When it was time for breakfast, I let Landon wake Eli up this time while I finished setting the table. While everyone ate, Tobias rattled off a list of supplies he had purchased to see if anyone could think of something he forgot. However, it appeared the Vernons had everything we would need.
We were bringing two horses on the trip – one would pull a covered wagon while Tobias saddled himself on the other. His reasoning was to prevent us from being stranded if one of the horses became injured. Granted, Mira would probably be able to heal most injuries, but Tobias didn’t want to chance it.
Landon would then drive the cart with his cousin Theo sitting upfront with him. Originally, Tobias had planned on hiring two men to make the trip with them for protection, along with the slightly eccentric young relative. However, having two mages instead was a much better deal, so now only Theo was coming.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, given my first experience with him. He at least seemed to have been genuine with his compliments, which I did like, since no one else seemed to find me attractive. But he also reminded me too much of Regulus. Granted, I knew it wouldn’t be fair to judge a stranger based on someone I had known all my life, so I decided to give Theo the benefit of the doubt for now.
Needless to say, I realized I was too generous the moment he arrived. One look at Risa and he whistled like he had just seen the most beautiful creature in existence. I was irrationally jealous again, so I enjoyed it thoroughly when Mira slapped him right across the face and told him in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t even to so much as speak to Risa.
It was obvious Theo had never seen her so worked up before, so he apologized and actually listened. Which meant he ultimately turned his attention to me again. I tried to ignore his stares and grins, feeling self-conscious. Apparently, since he knew I wasn’t a slave now, he wasn’t worried about offending Eli in the slightest.
And much to my disappointment, Eli didn’t seem to be bothered by it. He ignored Theo, although he definitely wasn’t oblivious to the human’s comments, because I caught him watching me occasionally when I reacted to it. I tried to keep my physical responses under control, but it was difficult when I was going from not a single earnest compliment in eighteen years to now one every five minutes. It felt like Theo was trying to make up for my loss.
He was certainly attractive for a human, but I suspected he was well aware of that. It was weird to see his muscular physique, larger than Eli even, but know that the latter of the two was far stronger. It surprised me Theo wasn’t intimidated by that fact, but then I had to remind myself that Eli also wasn’t giving him any reason to feel intimidated.
It made me sad, because deep down I wanted Eli to show me that kind of interest.
All the humans seemed to be in a hurry to leave as soon as possible, probably because of the attack yesterday. The longer we stayed, the more likely another army of elderfel might try coming after me, putting the town in danger in the process. I had no idea what Vanardis would be like, but they all seemed confident the threat wouldn’t be a problem there. According to Tobias, it was a far more advanced city than Boshra.
When we left the protection of the fence, I saw the older man from the previous day, Gregor, waiving us goodbye. He, along with a handful of the hired help from town, would be taking care of the farm while Tobias was gone.
Most of the supplies we were bringing were in large wooden crates towards the front of the wagon, so Eli and I sat next to each other on the floor towards the back, with Risa and Mira sitting on the other side.
That at least made me happy. Even though I hadn’t asked him to do so, he seemed to still view the two of us as our own unit, staying close to my side. I just wished I knew how much of our magic bond affected his decisions. Technically, it shouldn’t at all, but the idea that we were stuck together for life at least affected me.
It felt like we were a part of one of those arranged marriages the elves sometimes organized under certain circumstances, such as in hopes of achieving a more powerful magical lineage. A highly talented female elf might be given off to another family in exchange for a hefty dowry, money for power, which was supposedly the exact opposite of what humans sometimes did.
Really, it was similar to an arranged marriage, where we were meeting each other for the first time and everything…except that Eli had been forced into it unwillingly, refusing to go along with it.
I scoffed in annoyance at myself for my foolish thinking. Our situation was nothing so romantic. And if I kept these thoughts up, he was definitely going to end up hating me for doing this to him. I needed to keep my thoughts clear and focus on what was important, like surviving.
I was sitting between Eli and the crates, so I readjusted myself slightly next to him and turned my head to look past Landon and Theo’s backs. I didn’t want Eli to catch me staring at him from the corner of my eye. I couldn’t let my thoughts slip. I couldn’t risk him hating me.
Once we got past the fence, officially starting the trip, Theo refrained from saying anything to me for a while, giving me a short break. But as we left Boshra’s immediate vicinity and got the wagon on the main road heading towards Vanardis, h
e finally started up the compliments again.
Landon immediately chastised him for being so persistent.
“Careful cousin. You don’t want to piss that one off. She’s a lot stronger than she looks. She lifted me up in the air like I was half the weight of a bale of hay.”
“Oh!” Theo exclaimed, sounding excited. “That’s just how I like my women, beautiful and powerful.” He then glanced back at me with a smirk. “My kind of kitten.”
My cheeks uncontrollably flushed, discovering that I liked that nickname much more than I should. I turned my head away only to see that Eli was looking down at me again, evaluating my reaction. I immediately stared straight ahead at Risa’s knees, feeling even more embarrassed.
Why did he have to notice?
Unexpectedly, Eli got up and gracefully leapt out of the back of the wagon without a word. I stared at him in surprise, only to realize we were entering a forested area now. He started walking at the side of the cart, out of sight, watching out for any danger.
I sighed heavily, because part of me was afraid he was upset, but I knew that was my wishful thinking making me bias. I didn’t want to make him upset, or jealous for that matter. No one could compare to how I felt about him. But my hope that he liked me too was leading me to automatically assume that he cared.
I had already gotten myself in a lot of trouble with making assumptions in the last day. I needed to stop it.
Of course Eli didn’t care. If Risa was showing an interest in him, then there was no reason for him to be concerned with me.
Mira slid her foot over and touched my small boot with hers. I looked up to see them both watching me, concern on their faces. I must have been doing a poor job of hiding my distress.
I briefly locked eyes with Risa, before glancing at her new clothes Mira had given her. Now that Risa was out of her tattered clothing and into something more elegant, she was as beautiful as ever. Mira had given her a dark green short-sleeve shirt that left the bottom of her milky stomach exposed. She also wore a pair of black shorts like mine, except they went further down her thighs and were made of a more flexible material than my leather ones. Still, they were snug and made her legs and butt look amazing. She had a thin leather belt holding her shorts snug just underneath her wolf-tail.
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