“Thank you,” Ember smiles before walking away from me.
I lean back in my seat and close my eyes. I have to put this thing with Ember behind me; the band has to be my main focus. We have three months of touring to get through, a contract to sign, an album to record, interviews to get through, and photoshoots coming up. The list goes on and on, and I can’t make things hard for everyone. I won’t be the weak link. I will help take the band to the top if it’s the last thing I do.
Chapter Twelve
Ember
“Ember, if you could just lean back against Marco,”
We’ve been taking photographs with a professional photographer for the past couple of hours. It’s not the first photoshoot we’ve been on over the past month, but it’s the longest.
I’m already used to others doing my hair and makeup. I’m even used to people dressing me the way Matt seems to think I should be dressed, though I refuse to wear anything too revealing because I’m not a whore! Just because I am the only female member in the band, it doesn’t give Matt the right to have me dress like a hooker. I’m selling music, not sex.
The past few weeks have been hectic. We’ve signed with a major record company - scary as hell! Marco and I have written some songs that the others loved, and those songs will be featured on the album, we’ll be working on next week. Our EP sold tens of thousands of copies, and our fans have multiplied in the thousands. We’ve done some interviews, and we’ve even been on TV. Well, we sang one of our songs at the end of a popular TV show.
I made sure to text everyone I know to let them know to tune in. Of course, they all did, and my Mom called me to tell me how proud she and my dad are of me. Mom even made comments on how Marco looks at me, and how it came across on screen.
I hurriedly changed the subject. Talking about Marco with my mother was not going to happen right then. I don’t know how I feel about him, so making comments wasn’t a good idea.
Life seems to be moving so quickly, and we don’t have a moment to ourselves these days. Around the tour and everything else we have going on, I don’t know what day it is half the time.
The record company even hired a PA. Caren is fantastic, and she seems to know what we need before we do. She’s also here to make us look good. If we mess up in any way that could harm the band, Caren knows how to spin the story into something positive. Not that the boys and I have done anything to cause us any bother. We’re trying to play by the rules, though we know it can’t or won’t always be that way.
The boys and I have posed for so many pictures today, though most have been fun. The five of us have been larking around a lot. We’ve had photos taken of the five of us together, and some individually. The photographer even wanted pictures of Colin and Hannah together. He said it would make a good feature for the magazine he works for.
Now Clark, the photographer, wants a picture of Marco and me, just the two of us. After our second talk, Marco and I know where we stand, and we’ve become incredibly close in the time since. Marco is a wonderful friend, and I hope he feels the same about me.
I’m incredibly proud of Marco for how well he’s doing when it comes to saying no to drugs. I know Marco says he was never an addict, but still, the temptation must be overwhelming when they’re all around us at every after-party. Each time, Marco refuses the offer, just as I do.
I can’t say as I know about Marco’s sex life. That’s not something I ever want to know about. What I do know is that women throw themselves at Marco, and I haven’t once seen him take them up on their offer.
Men are always coming onto me, but I’m not interested. I’ve never been the kind of girl for one night stands. Some of the girls back home do just that, especially Phoenix, but that’s her life and her choice.
We have security guards following us now, thanks to the Caren. She wanted to make sure we’re safe, even if we don’t realize we need it yet. The two men Caren hired are huge in size. I’ve seen bigger men, but I feel safe knowing they follow us everywhere.
I do as Clark says and lean back against Marco with my arms across my chest. I can see Marco’s reflection in the window in front of me. It’s dark out, which makes it easier to see him. He has his fingers hooked and a growl on his face like a bear, and I can’t stop myself from laughing. Marco laughs and wraps his arms around my shoulders and kisses my head.
“This is really good,” Clark mumbles to himself while clicking away with his camera.
Marco leans his cheek against my temple and wraps his arms around mine, holding me against his warm body. I feel genuinely happy today. I’ve smiled for no good reason, and none were forced.
I wouldn’t say that I’m entirely over what Lydia and Toby did to me, but I’m moving forward a little more every day. My bandmates are helping me to do that, and I’d be lost without them right now.
“You two make a beautiful couple,” I raise my eyebrow at Clark, a tall, camp man around thirty years of age, and so perfectly flamboyant. I open my mouth to correct him on his mistake, but he’s already calling for Hannah and Colin to get into position.
I shake my head with a chuckle. It should annoy me that everyone we come into contact with thinks the same thing. I’ve stopped looking on social media because people are always writing about Marco Russo and his girlfriend Ember Marshall.
We’ve both tried to correct this in the past. But what’s the point when people don’t believe us? Matt said that if we didn’t allow people to write such things, then they wouldn’t. We’re friends, what does he expect us to do? Stand a mile away from each other at all times?
Marco said that we should let people think what they want. I argued the point, but he’s right, no one is listening to us. Why should we stress about it when we know the truth? All I want to do is make music, and that’s what I intend to do.
I make my way over to the refreshment table and grab a soda. I haven’t even opened the bottle, and Matt is beside me. He folds his arms with his eyebrow raised.
“What?”
“What have I told you about drinking this shit?” Matt snatches the Pepsi out of my hand.
I stare at him, open-mouthed. I’m getting pretty sick of this crap. If Matt’s not snatching drinks out of my hands, he’s yelling at me about my food choices. Not to mention, there hasn’t a day gone by where he hadn’t warned me about getting fat.
“How many times have I told you to drink water?”
I sigh and wrap my arms around my stomach. “Why does it matter to you what I drink?”
“Because I’m the man making you look good in the public eye.”
“No, that would be Caren,” I throw back sarcastically.
Matt grits his teeth at me. “The camera already adds ten pounds. Drink this shit, and you’ll pile on the weight. You wanna be known as the ugly, flat-chested, fat chick?”
I shake my head in disgust. Every time I tell myself that Matt’s constant digs about my looks and boobs aren’t getting to me, he goes one better. I like to think I’m stronger than this, but I’m lying to myself.
I want to be part of Dun’s Dungeon more than anything, but Matt is starting to make me feel terrible about myself. I feel sick whenever I think about eating because I know Matt will have something to say about it.
I look around the room at my friends. They’re all laughing and having fun, just as they should be. We have to get to the recording studio in two hours. We won’t be recording anything until we get to Texas next week. But Matt wants us to see the inside of a real studio to get a feel for things to come. But right now, all I want to do is run and hide.
“I’m done here.” I move past Matt, but he grabs my arm, stopping me. “Let go of me, or I’ll break your arm where you stand.” I will not have anyone grabbing me like that!
Matt stares at me with a smirk on his face. “Be careful, Ember, I’d hate for you to have a nasty accident.”
I grit my teeth, yank my arm out of Matt’s grip, and walk away. I won’t be drawn into his silly games. I’m
here to make music, not argue with a man so backward; he doesn’t know what forward means!
Calm down, Ember. Take a deep breath and clear your head of thoughts about killing Matt. He’s an asshole, but he’s not worth it.
I lean back against the side of the building and take a deep breath. I’m hidden from the world around me because this place is smack in the middle of nowhere.
It feels nice to take a few minutes to myself. Christ knows we don’t get many of those these days. I have to figure out what to do about Matt. I can’t let him continue to bully me the way he has been. That’s what he’s doing to me boils down to - bullying.
In days of old, if something like this happened, I’d call Lydia. I can’t do that now, but there is someone I can call.
I take my cell from my back pocket and call Jessie. “Hey!” She laughs down the line. Jessie is three years younger than I am, but we’ve always been close.
“Hey, honey, how’s things?”
“Good, you know things never change much around here. Enough about me,” I shake my head with a smile on my face. “What’s it like out there on the road with those hotties?”
“It’s good, Jess. The guys are all nice, and we get alone well enough. It’s busy, though, and we barely get five minutes to ourselves. We’re just finishing up a photo shoot for a magazine.”
“We’ll be seeing you on billboards next,” Jessie chuckles excitedly.
We chat back and forth for a while, talking about anything and everything. However, Jessie is more interested in what’s going on with me than anything else.
I hadn’t realized just how much I missed Jessie until I called. Life on the road is tough, long hours and little sleep. It doesn’t leave much time for phone calls home. However, I need to make time; I don’t want my family to think I’ve forgotten them now that I’m on my way to stardom.
“You are okay, aren’t you, Em?”
“Of course, I am. I love it out here, and all this freedom.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
I close my eyes and drop my head back against the wall. I don’t want to talk about Lydia and Toby; I’m just not ready. There’s still so much resentment inside of me for the two of them. It won’t feel like this forever, but it does right now. Besides, I can’t let anyone know the truth; there would be too many questions. Not to mention Toby would end up dead.
I hate you for what you did to me, but I still love you, Lydia.
“How is everyone?”
Jessie does what Jessie always does and changes the subject happily. “Everyone is good, Em, you know us,”
“I do,” I chuckle. If the club isn’t going through a heap of trouble, everyone is usually in good form. People rarely complain about mundane things in life.
“Has your mom called you yet?”
“Not in the past few days. I mean, she called me yesterday, but I was unable to answer. I’ve been so busy that by the time I’m done for the day, I’m asleep. Why is something wrong?”
My stomach drops when Jessica fails to answer right away. My mind starts running away with me, and all I can think is that there is something wrong with my brother.
I’m suddenly scared to death that Eagle’s childhood illness is back. Even though he was two when it happened, I can still remember how sick he was, and how my parents cried because they thought they’d lose him.
My brother toddled into my room one night and climbed into my bed. I was four years old, yet I knew he needed me. I wrapped my arms around him and promised that he’d be better soon. I noticed my mom and dad watching us from the doorway as baby Michael said, ‘I love you, Member,’ He couldn’t say my name correctly until he was three and a half, but it never occurred to me to mind.
“Jessie, please tell me that Eagle is okay,” For over twenty-one years, we’ve all prayed that Michael would stay healthy. He has a weak immune system, so every sniffle, every cough had us all on the edge of our seats in case it turned out to be something worse. It drove my brother crazy, but we love him and want him to be healthy.
“Of course, he’s okay, Ember,” I close my eyes and let go of the scared breath I was holding. “I just thought Aunt Nova would have told you about Lydia and Toby. But you said yourself that you hadn’t answered her calls.”
I don’t want to know about my ex-best friend and my ex-boyfriend. I know Jessie is going to tell me that they’re together now, but I don’t care to hear it. They didn’t waste much time before telling people.
Even though I don’t want to hear about the cheating rats, I can’t help myself asking, “What about them?”
“Uncle Draven told my dad, yours, and Uncle Hammer that Toby and Lydia are together,” I knew that was coming. “Naturally, your dad was spitting mad. He said that Toby and Lydia must have been cheating on you for months.”
My heart slams into my throat. Were Toby and Lydia so stupid to think people wouldn’t catch onto what happened?
Regardless, I have to steer people away from such thoughts. “They didn’t cheat on me, Jessie.”
Jessie sighs audibly. “You can tell yourself that all you want, Ember, but it’s pretty obvious they did.”
“How do you work that out?” I squint my eyes, even though Jessie can’t see me.
“From the fact, Lydia is three months pregnant, and they’re getting married. You have been gone less than two months, so if they didn’t cheat on you, how’s the baby Toby’s?”
I close my eyes and breathe back the urge to cry. What more proof do I need that my best friend betrayed me for months? Not only that, but I’m trying to protect the two of them from something people have already worked out. I’m lying to save them, but not once have they thought about me. They haven’t owned up and told the truth to take the weight off my shoulders. They’re spineless, and I’m the idiot protecting them.
“They love each other, Jessie,”
“That’s all well and good, but they hurt you, Ember! Uncle Tank is so angry. He doesn’t give a damn about anything other than killing Toby for hurting you.”
I close my eyes and shake my head. This is not good at all. I can’t let my dad hurt Toby, even if he does deserve a slap to two for that he did. If my dad hurts Toby, he’ll hurt Lydia, and I can’t have that.
“Jessie, what did or didn’t happen no longer matters. I’m happy, so why shouldn’t Lydia be happy?” Jessica sighs dramatically. “I know what you’re thinking, Jessie, but Lydia is our family, and she doesn’t deserve to be hurt.”
“Oh, but you do?”
I rub my hand over the back of my neck. I notice Colin watching me, and he mouths that it’s time to go. I nod my head while holding my finger up for him to wait a moment. He nods his head and walks away.
“Look, Jessie, whatever happened did so. Nothing will change that now. Toby wasn’t the one for me. My life has taken a different turn, and I’m happy. Hurting Toby will destroy Lydia, and I don’t want that. I have to go now; we’re about to leave for our next stop. I’ll call again soon. I love you, Jess,”
“I love you, too. Take care out there.” Jessie is not happy with what I said, but that’s just too bad.
I end the call and shoot off a text to my dad while walking to the bus. I don’t have time to call him now, nor do I have the privacy.
Me: Daddy, Jessie told me about Lydia and Toby.
I know you’re angry, but I don’t want you to do anything that would hurt Lydia.
She’s pregnant, Daddy, and that baby needs its father.
I know you love me and want to protect me from everything, and I love you for it. But please, for me, don’t do anything.
Dad: Noted
Is all I get back from my dad. I get to my room and drop down on my bed and scrub my hands over my face. I don’t know what my dad means by what he said, I only hope it means that he’ll leave things alone.
I shower quickly and change into something more comfortable, and crawl into bed. There are so many things rushing through my h
ead right now. There are so many questions I’ll never get the answers to. I’m such a fool, and I feel so used.
I’m not even angry any longer; I’m just sad. I’ve tried to keep it all inside since I found out, and I’ve been pretending that I’m okay. But I’m not okay. I am so far from okay right now.
I have to let this out. I will never be free unless I purge my soul of this poison. I am happy for Lydia and Toby, really I am, but the tears fall freely from my eyes. The guys can party on board the bus while I cry this out of me.
Chapter Thirteen
Marco
Ember didn’t come out of her room to join us tonight. She seemed upset when she got back to the bus. She made no comment on the gig in Florida. I know a thirteen-hour drive isn’t all that appealing, but we get a break from the rush of life for the next little while.
It’s late, but the boys wanted to celebrate the fact that we have a legitimate record deal. I’m not in the mood for alcohol. I’m not because my mind won’t settle. Something is wrong with Ember. She always joins in with stuff like this, and tonight was just for us. We’ve done the enormous celebratory party for signing the contracts, so we wanted something intimate for the band. Ember always laughs with us, drinks, and even dances around like no one is watching. Shit, she’s even competitive on the games console. So why is tonight different?
The music plays loudly as my friends drink and laugh. But I can’t enjoy myself when my gut is telling me that something is wrong with Ember. I need to check on her, and I won’t be able to settle unless I do.
I place my beer on the counter and make my way toward Ember’s door.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
I raise my eyebrow at Colin as he blocks my way. “I’m gonna check on Ember, as no one else seems to be bothered to see if she’s okay.”
Colin grits his teeth at me. “I know very well where you’re going and what you want, Marco. You’ve been warned to stay away from Ember.”
Ember: Next Gen (Snakes Henchmen MC Book 12) Page 10