I grimaced as reality settled in.
It would be unfair of me to keep him away from his grandchildren. They deserved to know him, even if I didn’t think he deserved to breathe the same air as them. Besides, I let Olivia meet them despite what she was trying to do. I couldn’t let her meet them and not him. I was all about fairness… on most days.
“Dinner.” I forced a smile. “They’ll like it.”
Dad’s expression softened as he smiled. The sincerity took me aback as it was the first time I was seeing it in my entire life. What the heck was I supposed to do with that?
Deciding that ignoring it was the safest for my sanity, I turned to the twins.
“Guys, guess who’s here,” I said in a sing-song voice.
“Who?” Lawson asked.
The two of them clambered to their feet and came closer, their light amber eyes blinking up at him, so full of questions and curiosity.
“I’d like you guys to meet Cameron Hansen, your grandfather.”
Neither of them moved or responded, and I was pretty sure they weren’t breathing either.
“Grandfather?” Lee finally asked.
“Your mother’s father. Mine too.”
They came closer, screaming with curiosity based on the way they couldn’t look away from their grandfather.
“Dad, meet Lawson,” I said and motioned to the correct twin. No games this time like I played with Olivia.
Lawson stepped forward. “Hi,” he said in a soft voice.
Dad smiled. “Hi, little man.”
That got Lawson blushing.
“I’m Lee,” Lee said, stepping forward and in front of his brother, trying to be all cute and protective.
“It’s a pleasure to meet both of you,” Dad said.
For a moment, I thought my eyes were deceiving me. Were those tears shimmering in his eyes? No way. Cameron Hansen did not cry. Ever. Not even at the funeral. I knew because I watched him, looking for signs that he wanted to talk to his grandchildren.
Dad moved around the counter, closer to the two of them. He slowly got to his knees, the movement looking like it hurt him. Was something wrong?
“How would you like to go to dinner with me? I heard all about this really good burger place nearby.”
“We like cheeseburgers,” Lawson said. “And I’m hungry.”
My dad chuckled. “All right, how about the two of you go get ready while I talk with Maddie.”
They nodded and went into their bedroom, needing to hunt down some socks. I was glad I was able to keep them wearing their clothes for a little while longer. In another hour, they would have been stripped to their undies.
Dad told me the place he wanted to go, and I smiled. He was a lot more considerate than Olivia about what the kids would eat.
“That’s one of our favorite places,” I said. “They have really good curly fries.”
“I’m glad,” he said. He rubbed his neck, a little red creeping into his cheeks. “I had to ask some of my colleagues for suggestions.”
Again, he caught me by surprise. He kept doing that, and he’d only been here for a few minutes.
Lawson came out first, hopping on one foot as he finished pulling up his sock. Lee came out right behind him.
“Those are mine,” Lee said.
“Doesn’t matter,” Lawson said.
“Does too.”
“Does not.”
As if on cue, the two of them looked at me. Seriously?
“Does not,” I finally answered.
“Ha!” Lawson stuck his tongue out at his brother before going to put his shoes on. Lee had a dangerous expression on his face, like he was contemplating the best ways to get rid of his brother.
The wonderful bond of brothers.
~*~
We were able to get a seat right away at the restaurant. It all felt forced. Dad didn’t know what to say to me or to the kids, and no way was I going to try to start a conversation with him. I didn’t have anything to say to the man.
He kept clearing his throat, about to say something, but then his mouth would snap shut and he’d look down. The silence stretched out for so long that we were able to put in our orders and receive our drinks before he finally made his move.
“Miranda liked eating at burger places,” he said. “She always got their BBQ burgers, or whatever version of it she could find on the menu.”
That took me by surprise, and I stared at the tabletop for a moment, trying to suppress the wave of grief that struck hard. He was right about that.
“I think the twins got that trait from her,” I finally answered.
“Mama liked to get curly fries too,” Lee said. “If she could.” He frowned at Lawson briefly before reaching for a straw and fighting to take the wrapping off.
“She liked eating them with BBQ sauce.” Dad nodded.
That was all it took for him to open up to the twins. He told them about all the places he’d taken Mandy to eat, the foods she enjoyed. They compared her preferences to the twins’. They had a lot in common with their mother when it came to food and that made me happy.
Eventually, the twins took over the conversation, opening right up to their grandfather. They talked about school, the friends they made, the things they were learning.
I was going to yell at Dayton. I did not want to hear about what they learned when it came to oral hygiene and why it was important. Ick.
The longer they talked, the harder it became to look away from my father. This was a new experience, not just for the twins, but for me too. The dinner I had with Olivia was stuffy and harsh. With Dad, it was more open, more relaxed. He was attentive to the twins, even going so far as to help make sure their food was cool enough for them to eat.
He let Lawson put pepper into his ketchup to dip his fries in, but he also knew when to take the pepper shaker away before Lawson overused it like he always tried do. He helped Lee order another drink, but stopped him from drinking so much that he’d be too full to eat more of his food.
The man even managed to get them to eat vegetables I had ordered as an extra side.
My father may have wealth, but it didn’t dictate his life. He was relaxed, he seemed almost like any other grandfather doting on their grandchildren without holding them to impossible standards.
I got a flash of the type of man he could be if he allowed himself to be. For the first time in my life, I could see what my mother saw in him, what attracted her to him. He could be attentive and gentle when he wanted.
That hurt. I was happy for the twins to have this experience, but at the same time dark thoughts rose up, and I had to fight to keep that bitter pill away. He was never like this with me. He did what was expected of him, but I’d never gotten to see this side of him before.
I wanted to snap at him, blame him, give him a taste of this sour bitterness that rose from the pit of my stomach.
Lawson and Lee’s giggles stopped me.
“You’re quiet,” Dad said during a lull.
“Hmm?”
He was staring at me, expression closed. I winced at the look.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded. “Enjoying the food. It’s good.” To prove a point, I lifted my burger up and took a huge bite. My lame smile didn’t help my case.
The disapproval that slipped into his eyes was a stab in the chest. He quickly hid it away before turning back to the twins, asking about dessert.
I remained quiet for the rest of the meal. The boys went to wash their hands, managing to get everything all over.
“When do boys stop being messy eaters?” I asked.
Dad chuckled. “Never. Just the other day, I managed to get sauce all over my shirt. Livvie was livid when she realized what I did.”
I bet she was.
“Maddie, can we speak privately before they get back?” He turned to face me.
Oh boy, there it was. The takedown punch. He was going to hit me hard with something and it was going to flip my world all around.
“Sure,” I managed to reply.
He cleared his throat, his nervousness revealing itself. “I don’t approve of what Livvie is doing. I’ve already talked to her about it, but she refuses to stop. She does want to be a part of the twins’ lives.”
I snorted. “And what? This is the only way she can think of doing it?”
“She only wants the best.”
“Uh huh.”
“I’ll talk to her again. I agree with her. I want to be a part of their lives too.”
My stomach sunk low, the food no longer settling well in my stomach.
“But don’t mistake my agreement with her as me taking her side. I don’t agree with the custody. I don’t want it. But she’s my wife and that’s what she wants. I’ll be talking with the lawyers on Monday to see what is really going on and I’ll talk to her again. She’s not in the mood to listen right now.”
“Really?” I asked. “When is she ever in the mood?”
His eyes narrowed. “She’s not a bad person.”
I scoffed, unable to stop myself. “Maybe not to your face, but Olivia cares only about Olivia. She doesn’t care about the twins; she just wants to make my life miserable.”
“That is not fair, Madison.” His expression darkened as his anger rose. “This isn’t about you.”
“Isn’t it?” I asked. “Mandy has been dead for almost five months now. Why now? Why when we are finally about to get up in the morning and go about our lives without bursting into tears is she deciding to butt in? She had chances. Mandy has always given the two of you chances. I gave you guys chances. The two of you were happy to pretend they didn’t exist.”
“Be fair, Madison. We lost our daughter.”
I leaned forward. “And I lost my sister. The twins lost their mother. The two of you aren’t the only two mourning. We could have mourned together. But Olivia has never wanted anything to do with us, and you let her dictate your life so much that you didn’t care that she cut us all out of it. You never fought for us, for Mandy, for the twins.” My voice cracked. “For me.”
“Madison—”
Whiplash was very possible with how hard I shook my head. “No. I’m glad you took the initiative to be a part of their life. It isn’t too late for them because they don’t understand. But it is too late for me. I know exactly what is going on, Cameron.”
He flinched at my use of his first name. His lips pressed into a hard line, no doubt to keep the harsh words he wanted to toss my way. I refused to give him the opportunity.
“You can see them again, if you wish. I’ll never do anything to jeopardize a relationship between Lawson and Lee and their family. But please excuse me when I don’t trust anything that comes out of your mouth. Go ahead, talk to Olivia. But I won’t hold my breath. She always does what she wants, and you’ve always let her.”
“I’m an old man, Maddie.” The sorrow is thick in his voice, making the words gruffer as he spoke. “It has made me realize a lot. I was a young fool, and I’m trying to not become an old fool.”
My shoulders slumped at the haunted tone in his words, and I leaned back in my seat, trying to process them. While I was lost in his admission, the boys came back with grins.
“We’re ready,” Lee said.
Our server came back with the check and Dad threw down enough bills to cover the cost.
I was still speechless and trying to understand what Dad meant as he helped Lawson and Lee get ready to leave.
The two of them were settling into their seats when I finally spoke again, voice low. “The twins have a Thanksgiving recital the week before their break starts. It’s on Tuesday. You and Olivia are invited to show up.”
He nodded, taking the olive branch I was giving him. “We’ll be there.”
Shaking my head, I said. “Don’t tell me that unless it’s true. I refuse to get the twins’ hopes up only for the two of you to be no-shows.”
“Maddie, both of us will be there. And Olivia will be on her best behavior.”
I doubted that, but I wasn’t going to say that out loud. I didn’t want to sour this moment any further.
“Very well, I’ll let the two of them know. I’ll text you the details. I think Lawson is a turkey, and Lee is a pilgrim.”
That drew a smile from my father. He leaned forward and pulled me into a hug, completely surprising me. I was stiff through the entire experience, not able to relax into his touch.
He pulled away, kissing my cheek before saying goodbye to the twins and going to his car.
I hopped into my car, wiping away my tears before the boys noticed then drove away as fast as I could. My sanity felt like it was slipping, and I didn’t know what to think about this whole visit.
Was this what Alice felt like when she fell into Wonderland?
Chapter Four
According to Lawson and Lee, the world was full of lava. That meant I had to sit on top of the picnic table as they jumped from one obstacle to another at the park.
Too tired to play with them, I pulled out my phone and decided to harass the guys instead.
Me: It’s the end of the world. The lava took over.
Dayton: Oh boy, where are you?
Me: The Fens. Did you know there’s a small little play area here? I didn’t even know.
Bryce: I think it’s new?
Me: Doesn’t matter. If you wish to keep your feet, stay off the ground. The lava monsters are real and they’re hungry.
I went back and forth with them for a while, laughing as they joked with me. They were fun and made me feel lighthearted. They also tended to go along with me, which was why we debated the finer points of a lava monster.
Dayton: They’d definitely have gills. And fins.
Me: No, they’re monsters, not lava fish. They’ll have wings and spiky manes.
Me: Oh! And long tails with suction cups on them to drag their victims into the lava. Lawson agrees with me.
Koen: Lawson does not agree with you.
Me: He totally does. I just asked him.
Koen: I don’t see how that’s possible since he’s currently trying to push his brother down the slide.
My head whipped up to look over at the playground. He was indeed trying to do that, laughing as his brother desperately held on to a railing before he lost his life to the lava.
Me: You are a supernatural creature! I knew it. I always knew it!
Bryce: Or he’s a stalker.
Dayton: If he’s a stalker, then so are we.
It all finally clicked, and I looked around. At the entrance, there stood the three of them, forming the perfect picture of hotness for all the mothers to gawk at. And they definitely were as the three of them came my way.
“Oh my God, all three of you are definitely stalkers,” I said.
Dayton pulled me off of the picnic table and right into a hug that made me melt into him. His hand rubbed my back. “That was priceless, the look on your face.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked, more excitement than there should be bubbling through me.
Bryce shrugged. “We were about to have lunch and since you were close, thought we’d swing by.”
I glanced at Koen, suddenly feeling shy with all three smiling at me. Koen’s honey brown eyes were laughing at me as I pursed my lips. Koen looked completely relaxed today, settling for dark jeans and a heavy jacket to fight against the cold. The man looked good in jeans, dangerously good. I was so used to him wearing dress pants and slacks because of his job. His formalness tended to slip into his private life too.
The others were dressed similarly in heavy jackets and jeans.
“Sissy!” Lawson called from the playground. “Lava! Lava! Tell them lava!”
I laughed, jumping back onto the picnic table and making them do the same. Koen and Bryce sat where our bums were supposed to go, but Dayton joined me on top of the table, his feet dangling over the side, almost touching the ground.
Thankfully, the picnic table held our weight, though
I was pretty sure it groaned in protest.
“This is a nice surprise,” I said, not able to wipe away the grin on my face.
“We thought so,” Dayton said.
“Is everything okay?” Bryce’s gaze skimmed over my facial features. “You look exhausted.”
I blinked. “You can tell.” I pushed my hands to my cheeks, hoping it’d hide all the bagginess I felt in my face. Everything about me felt droopy. After Dad’s surprise visit and impromptu dinner, I didn’t sleep. The night was spent trying to dig into the meaning of the dinner and everything he said. I ended up thinking in circles.
It didn’t help that I did it while sitting outside the boys’ room like a sentry. My imagination kept picturing Olivia slipping into my apartment and taking them while I snoozed away in my own bed.
Yeah, sleep definitely didn’t exist for me. I was on the verge of becoming an insomniac. While my mother was sick, I had become one and my doctor had to prescribe me sleeping medicine, so it was totally plausible that it might happen again.
“Maddie, what happened?” Koen asked.
I huffed and dropped my hands, deciding to pick at the lacy fabric of my dress. “My dad visited yesterday. It was a complete surprise and threw me off. He met the twins and we went to dinner.”
“With Olivia?”
“No. By himself. He apologized for her actions.”
“Please tell me that means she’s going to drop this custody case?” Dayton begged.
I snorted. “Doubt it. Olivia has never listened to my dad. She always did what she wanted, and he never did anything about it. He promised to talk to her again. Apparently, he didn’t know about it until recently.”
“That’s hard to believe,” Koen said.
I shrugged. “Olivia is good at being tricky, so I don’t know what to say about that. I don’t believe him either. But that’s his excuse.”
My thoughts got darker. Wanting to run away from it, I did what I did best and changed things up. I jumped off the picnic table and turned to the guys. “Now that the three of you are here, let’s play.”
“What do you want to do?” Dayton asked.
Lawson and Lee came running over, also done playing with lava. Lawson’s expression brightened when he saw his favorite teacher in the entire universe—his words not mine.
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