“I’m not sure if it’s okay to ask, but what happened? Your trauma?”
“Oh.” He made the O-shape with his mouth for a moment, blinking before dropping his arm.
“You don’t have to answer. You never have to answer.” I tried to backtrack. “If you need me to mind my own business, it’s okay to tell me. I don’t mind. Just tell me to shut up and I will.”
“Maddie, shut up.”
My teeth clicked together as I forced myself to stop rambling like an idiot.
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you,” he said and gave me a shaky smile. “It’s just still a little hard to talk about and I don’t want to ruin the mood.”
“I’m really good at ruining a mood,” I said. “It’s okay. If you don’t want to say, then don’t.”
He sighed and glanced around us, his lips slipping into a frown. I hated the look on him. There were no signs of his dimples when he did that and that was just wrong.
“When I was a kid, only twelve, I had gone to soccer practice. We were out on the field, our coach on the sideline. We had been doing some training exercises to build our stamina.” His eyes went distant, and I hated myself for putting him in this position. I should have kept my mouth shut. “A man stumbled out onto the field. He came out of the woods right by it. We thought he was only a drunk. The man was rambling on about something and scared us. Our coach came over…”
Bryce cleared his throat and rubbed at the back of his neck as he blinked furiously.
“Sorry,” I said. “You don’t have to say.” I could imagine it. I could see it. He didn’t need to tell me, but I could tell what kind of horror was about to be revealed.
“No, it’s good for me to talk about.” Bryce tried to shrug it off, to make the memory less horrifying than it really was. “Unless you don’t want to hear anymore?”
I shook my head. “If it’s something that affects you, I want to know. I want to know how I can make it better.”
Bryce smiled, but it was sad. “You’re too good, Maddie.” He glanced over my shoulder briefly before forcing himself to meet my eyes. I could see how hard it was for him. I was beginning to hate myself for bringing it up. It was obviously a trauma that affected him for so long, that pushed him into the man he was today. I should have known better. And there was a time and a place for things like this and it definitely wasn’t out in a pumpkin patch.
I was such a big idiot.
“The man had come out into the field and we backed off. The coach came over, yelling at him to get off. The man turned violent. He pulled out a knife when our coach got close enough. He gutted him.” Bryce shuddered.
“Oh damn,” I whispered.
“Yeah. It was bad. He went after us next. A couple were hurt but not life threatening. Then he took off. Some parents were around, but it all happened too fast. Some of the dads took off after him, but they lost him in the woods. The police were able to pick him up the next day after searching.”
“And your coach?” I held on to hope. Maybe he survived. Maybe he’d be okay. Could someone survive with a knife wound to the stomach? I didn’t know.
“He didn’t make it. The damage was too much. They got him to the hospital, but he didn’t make it out of surgery.”
“Damn.” My heart ached for twelve-year-old Bryce witnessing something so horrifying.
“Yeah. That’s my trauma. It affected me and some of the kids for so long. One day, it hit me, you know. I didn’t want it to continue to haunt me the way it had. I at least had my family supporting me, especially my brother. But other kids didn’t have that kind of support system. I saw how that twisted them. They pulled away from everyone, got lost in the nightmare of it all. So I decided I’d do something about it. I refused to be aimless for the rest of my life because of an incident that happened when I was a child. So I twisted it, honed the experience, and threw myself into my current field.”
Unable to hold myself back, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close, needing to give him all the comfort I had within me. “You’re a good man, Bryce. You’re doing so good.”
He responded slowly, wrapping his arms around me and tucking his head into my neck. And if he held me a little too tight, that was okay. I was giving him everything he needed, and if he needed more, I’d give it to him.
In that moment, I was more than willing to give him the world if it’d take away his pain.
“Thank you, Maddie,” he whispered into my ear and then pulled away.
“Of course,” I said and pretended to get distracted with another pumpkin to give him the space he needed to pull himself back together. “Question. Since we labored away picking up the bad ones, can we get a good one and carve it?”
That seemed to be the right thing to say by the sound of Bryce’s laugh. When I looked at him, he was smiling again, and it was genuine, his dimples making their swoon-worthy appearance.
Victory.
A smiling Bryce was the best Bryce.
“You read my mind. I have the perfect pumpkin too.” He moved over to one that was already off to the side. I narrowed my eyes at him. He definitely had one already picked out. Smart man.
A truck rolled over, and we loaded the back with the crate and extra pumpkins, then Bryce took me to the picnic tables. They were loaded with pumpkin carving tools and huge waste buckets to get rid of the innards.
“When was the last time you did this?” he asked.
“Last year. Every Halloween, Mandy and the twins would make me do it.” I shuddered. “I love carving into it, but the innards are gross.”
Bryce chuckled. “Carve off the top and I’ll scoop it out for you.”
“Oh, you’re my hero. I knew I liked you for a reason.”
That got a laugh out of him as I got to work, carefully taking the top off. Bryce talked about some of the carvings he had done as he waited. It didn’t take him long to scoop out all the slop inside. My nose curled in disgust as the smell hit me.
“How would you describe the smell of a pumpkin?” I asked. “I mean, it obviously smells.” I waved my hand to prove my point. “But it’s its own smell. Doesn’t really have something to compare with it. How would you describe it?”
“That’s a good question.” Bryce frowned at the pumpkin, trying to dig up an answer. He took in a deep breath, savoring the smell, trying to pick it apart. “It’s hard. All I want to say is that it smells like pumpkin.”
“It is a difficult smell,” I admitted, also taking in a deep breath and trying to pick what I was sensing apart. “Okay, take a deep breath, eyes closed, and tell me the first word that comes to mind.”
He nodded and closed his eyes. After taking a deep breath, he didn’t say anything for a long moment before saying, “clingy.”
“Clingy?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yeah, it lingers. It goes into your nose and sticks to you so that after you walk away, it’s still there.”
“And for the rest of the day, you’ll keep thinking you’re smelling pumpkin.”
“Exactly.”
“Nice. Okay, my turn.” I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. Pumpkin filled all my senses. I could practically taste it on my tongue. “Earthy. Or would it be like vegetation? I can see why we feel the need to add all those spices. Pumpkin spice is a must. I can’t imagine eating this without doing something to flavor it first.”
“And thus the ever-popular spice is born,” Bryce said. “Here, done.” He passed me the pumpkin. It was perfectly clean of its ickiness.
I nodded. “This will do. This will do.” The pumpkin was small and perfectly round. Adorable really.
“Any idea what you’re going to do?”
“A mouse.” I pictured what a mouse face looked like and carefully drew it out. I was not a free-hander. I needed guides to tell me what to do and had no trouble admitting to that flaw.
“Wait, do the whiskers like this.” Bryce redid the lines enough for me to see that I shouldn’t connect them to the nose. “
You risk breaking the pumpkin if you do it like that. This way, there’s more holding it together.”
“Ah. Good idea.”
I got to work, taking my time to make it as perfect as it could be. It was a bit mind numbing, relaxing. Bryce seemed content to just sit there and watch as I worked.
His gaze worked its way to me, making my skin heat and pebble. I wanted to reach out to him, touch him. The cold was slowly seeping into my hands and I was tempted to touch his skin to warm them up. Yes, that would be my excuse. Pretty ingenious.
I was just finishing up the ears when my carver slipped, hitting my hand. I stared at it for a moment, my mind too slow to keep up with the meaning behind seeing the red.
“Shit, you’re bleeding.” Bryce stood up and was at my side, carefully grabbing my hand to look at it. I was still gaping at it in wonder and confusion. How did that happen?
My gaze slowly went to the carver that did harm to my person. Right. The carver. The carver did it.
I cut myself.
From pumpkin carving.
Something little kids could easily do.
“Maddie?”
“Uh,” I finally said. “I’m okay. It doesn’t hurt.”
Of course, as soon as I said that, the pain came. It flared up from my hand, pulsing at a slow tempo.
“Never mind. I lied. That hurts. That really, really hurts.” I blinked back tears.
“It’s okay. I got you. We have a kit here in case of an accident.” He disappeared for only a moment before he was back.
I sat there dumbly as he performed surgery on my hand. The cut was on the back, near the thumb. Bryce’s touch was gentle as he worked cleaning it out and stitching it back together. Okay, no stitches, just some pretty butterfly bandages.
“It’s not too deep and the bleeding already stopped. You’ll live.”
“Oh, thank goodness. I’m not sure this was how I want to go. Death by pumpkin carving.” I winced. “That’s afterlife mockery for sure. My ghostly self will never be able to live that down. All the other ghosts will laugh at me. I’ll be bullied. Remember Casper. I don’t want to be treated like him, like a ghost slave. That sounds horrible.”
Bryce chuckled. “Then I’m happy to say you get to live. I’d have missed you if you were gone.” His expression made what could have been innocent words mean so much more. His eyes darkened, and I shivered from the pleasure of having his complete attention. I never knew a gaze had magic like that.
“Thank you for saving my life,” I said and leaned forward, kissing his cheek. He didn’t move, didn’t try to get more out of it, and I liked him all the more for it.
Though he was smirking when I pulled away, a triumphant look on his face.
I guess it was a good thing if I could make a man feel like he won the lottery by kissing his cheek.
“Come on, let’s finish and add your creation to the others. Lunch is coming up. Lina makes these really good roast beef sandwiches. You’ll love it.”
“Mm. Meat. I love meat.”
Bryce laughed as he stood up. We cleaned up and headed back to the main house. I was surprised it was only lunch time. It felt like a whole day had gone by already and we should have been eating dinner.
I knew one thing for sure though—it was definitely nap time.
Chapter Fourteen
The rest of the day went by just as busily as the morning had been. I barely saw the twins. Lina kept them busy with activities, and if she wasn’t keeping them busy, then one of the guys was. It was weird not having to be so attentive to them. I got to enjoy myself instead. After lunch, I dragged Bryce to the main festival area, where all the vendors were set up. I did light shopping, finding a cute Christmas present for Kenni.
I tried all the cider I could, my stomach hating me for it. The liquid goodness sloshed around heavily in my stomach, and I may have felt a little nauseous by the time dinner came around. I almost didn’t want to eat.
Bryce got called to duty for dinner. There was an area off to the side for food vendors. Lines were long as people waited. There were so many people. I was pretty sure there were even Canadians. That meant their festival was pretty darn impressive to attract international attendees.
Lawson and Lee were with Koen at a table. They waved at me furiously, food already in front of them. I almost pitied them because from the looks of it, Koen made sure they were eating something balanced. Which was usually difficult in a place like this. Did healthy food trucks even exist? It seemed like it would be a crime against the food truck industry if that were the case.
Smart enough to stay away, I waved and pointed to the line I was getting into. No way was I giving Koen a chance to force me to eat something healthy. Not here. No way.
Lee came running over.
“Sissy, I missed you,” he said, standing with me.
“Did you now?” I asked. “And here I was thinking you forgot all about me.”
He grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Never.”
“Did you have fun today?”
He nodded dramatically. “We did so much. Lina is so nice. She let us help with the pumpkins. And we got to go on a barrel ride. There was a hayride. And Dayton chased us through a hedge maze.”
“Oh? Did you make it to the middle and see the fountain?” I asked. I had been there too. I must have just missed them. Darn, that would have been fun to chase them around in there, getting lost, scaring them. I wondered if I could get them to go in with me now that it was darker out. Hide and seek in the dark. I loved that game.
“I made a wish too.”
“What did you wish?”
“Nope. I can’t tell you. You know that, Sissy.”
I sighed, pretending to be sad. “I know. I was hoping. I love secrets.”
Lee fought with himself. I could see the indecision as he tried to decide if he was going to tell me or not. Finally, he shook his head. “No. I’m not telling.”
“Aww. All right. I get it, I guess.” Scientists needed to hurry and finish making the brain-reading machine. How else were we supposed to give our kids their wishes if we couldn’t figure out what they were wishing for? I was all about making their dreams come true.
The line moved quickly, and the whole time I listened carefully to Lee’s adventures for the day. I also marveled at the fact that he was okay. He wasn’t hurt. Apparently, I was the only victim today, and it had to be from pumpkin carving.
Koen and Lawson were still in the same spot by the time I got my brisket sandwich. My mouth watered at the delicious smoked barbeque enticing my taste buds. The cornbread with real corn in it also called to me, and I couldn’t take my eyes off the treat as we walked over.
“Maddie, you’re going to trip,” Koen said.
“No, I’m not.” I put my plate down and sat. “See.”
“What happened to your hand?” Lawson asked.
“The pumpkin monster got me,” I said.
He stared at me, clearly not believing me.
“Will you believe me if I said that if something is safe for children to use, it doesn’t mean it’s safe for adults?”
Again, no response from either twin. Tough crowd.
“I hurt myself when I was carving a pumpkin earlier,” I admitted.
At least no one outright laughed at me.
“Are you okay? Do you need stitches?” Koen asked, being the perfect man he always was.
“Bryce assured me I’d live. He’s a doctor, so I have to believe him.”
“He’s not the right kind of doctor.” Koen frowned at me hand.
“Better than a lawyer telling me about my health,” I argued.
“True. As long as he says it’s fine.”
“He did. Do I need to call him and tell him you don’t believe in his opinion?”
Koen winced. “No. Of course I believe him.”
His glare at my hand said otherwise. It was nice having him fret over me because of a silly wound.
The moment I finished eating, I grinned
at the twins. “Who’s ready for hide-and-seek in the hedge maze?”
That got them excited.
“Good, because I’m it. So run little ones.” I changed my voice to sound like an evil witch. “Run as fast as your tiny little feet will let you. Because I’m coming for you.”
They jumped down and ran off, my evil witch cackle chasing after them. The entrance to the maze was in sight so I watched them disappear inside.
“Isn’t it a bit dangerous to play that with it getting darker out?” Koen asked.
I gasped. “Are you trying to ruin the simple pleasures in life?” I asked.
“No.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Well, if you’re so concerned, you can play too.”
Koen scrutinized me, trying to determine if I was serious or not. I raised an eyebrow in challenge. He stood up, and without another word, disappeared into the hedge.
Oh, this was going to be so much fun. As I waited the required two minutes I normally gave them, I tried to create a mental map of the maze. It was impossible, but I pretended I knew what I was doing and where they could be hiding.
I had a feeling with Koen playing, it wasn’t going to be so easy. And he seemed like he knew the maze a lot better than I did.
“Game on,” I whispered and went on my hunt.
~*~
The game was a fierce battle that ended with me finding Lawson but not Lee or Koen. We had to call it, and I sent Koen the white flag of surrender through text message.
Apparently, the two of them had found each other and stuck together, avoiding me when they heard me thundering toward them. I tried to act offended that they thought I sounded like a rhino, but I couldn’t. I really wasn’t the quietest person and all those leaves on the ground were loud and crunchy.
The cold had seeped well into my bones at that point, and I called it a night for us. The twins were ready to fight me until I threatened them with leaving them outside tied to a tree for the rest of the night.
It was a good thing I called it, because the moment they were clean and crawling into bed, they were out cold, the day quickly catching up to them.
Of course, I wasn’t able to go through the same experience. I closed my eyes, listening to their breathing, enjoying the complete quiet that wrapped around us, and still I couldn’t enter the dream world.
Sizzling Hot Apple Cider Page 12