Shiloh heard Harley’s tone but didn’t fully understand. She suddenly felt like she’d missed something important.
“Shy, who do you work for?” Harley asked.
“The Department of Justice,” Shiloh said. Then at Harley’s narrowed look, she added, “For you.”
“And who got you that job?”
“You.”
And where are you living?”
“With you,” Shiloh said.
“And who remembered your birthday?”
“You,” Shiloh said, sighing.
“Do you need a billboard?” Harley asked, grinning.
“Shut up!” Shiloh said, laughing.
Harley moved closer to her. “I was in love with you in high school, and you broke my heart, but I never stopped loving you.”
The hope that bloomed on Shiloh’s face was like bright warm sunshine.
“Are you saying…?” Shiloh began, not daring to hope.
“I’m saying that I love you, Shy,” Harley said seriously. “And I always have.”
“And you just thought you’d tell me now?” Shiloh said, her tone slightly chiding.
Harley stared openmouthed at her for a moment. “Until Devin told me that you were in love with me and that I shouldn’t be stupid, I had no idea if you were just a good friend, of if you wanted more.”
“You had a woman in your bed for the last week and a half before you got sick!” Shiloh exclaimed in her defense.
“Yeah, just not the woman I really wanted in my bed,” Harley said. “Until I got sick.”
Shiloh looked back at her then, her eyes sparkling mischievously.
“And you still are sick,” she said. “And you should be resting…”
“Well, there’s a matter that needs to be settled first,” Harley said, her tone serious.
“What matter is that?” Shiloh asked, worried about Harley’s change in tone.
Without a word, Harley moved closer, her lips hovering just above Shiloh’s. Shiloh felt her breath catch in her throat. Her breathing became shallow as she anticipated the kiss, but Harley didn’t kiss her, she kept her lips right where they were. Shiloh could feel Harley’s breath on her cheek, then Harley’s hands slid around her waist, grasping at her gently. Shiloh felt her pulse quicken and, moving another inch closer to Harley, she felt her lips brush her cheek, and her hands press her body closer.
Shiloh’s hands were trembling as she put her hands against Harley’s chest, her right hand grasping at Harley’s tank top. Harley’s lips grazed her lips and Shiloh moaned softly when they didn’t stay. Her fingers flexed against Harley’s exposed skin. She felt Harley smile slightly and tighten her hands against her waist. Then one hand moved up her back to hold the back of her neck as Harley pulled back looking down into her eyes.
“Do you want me, Shy?” Harley whispered breathlessly.
“Yes,” Shiloh breathed instantly.
Harley’s lips touched her softly. It wasn’t a full kiss, it felt more like a promise of a kiss. Then Harley moved back, wetting her lips as she looked down at Shiloh.
“I think we should go out,” she said.
“What?” Shiloh asked, her voice breathless with desire. Her utter confusion was written all over her face.
Harley grinned. “On a date,” she said. “I think we should go out on a date.”
Shiloh opened her mouth to tell Harley she was insane, but she could see the sincerity in Harley’s eyes. It made her stop for a second.
“Why?” Shiloh asked.
“Because I want to do this right with you,” Harley said. “I want to romance you, show you what this will be like and then if you still want me… Well, then we’ll go there.”
“Can’t just go there now and go out later, huh?” Shiloh asked her voice tinged with humor.
Harley bit her lower lip, her blue eyes shining with the most incredible look of love Shiloh had ever seen. Shiloh was willing to do anything to keep that look on her and no one else.
“Okay, a date, sure, let’s go on a date… Can we do it tomorrow?”
Harley laughed at her rushed speech.
“Yes, we can do it tomorrow night,” Harley said, smiling.
“Good,” Shiloh said. “’Cause I’m not sure how many more cold showers I can take!”
Harley laughed out loud at that one.
Chapter 9
Dakota spent two days sleeping, texting her foreman to tell him she wouldn’t be on the site for a few days. When she emerged from the extra bedroom, she spent hours playing with Ana, and when Ana was asleep she’d sit in the backyard smoking. Savanna watched Dakota from the window, wanting to talk to her, but knowing that she shouldn’t push too hard. She knew that Dakota would say something when she was ready to. She’d at least make an end road.
That end road came late in the afternoon on the third day at the Falco home. Savanna had just gotten back from the home she ran for LGBT kids. She’d stopped at the grocery store and was carrying the bags into the house. Dakota saw and jumped up to help, stubbing out her cigarette. When all of the bags had been brought in, Savanna expected Dakota to disappear, but she didn’t. She stayed in the kitchen, helping Savanna put things away. Savanna knew it was a sign.
“So how are you, honey?” Savanna asked as Dakota came out of the pantry.
Dakota stopped in the pantry doorway, leaning against the doorjamb looking like she was trying to decide how she was. Finally, she blew her breath out.
“I dunno,” she said, shaking her head. “I just feel like… Like I’m done, ya know?”
“Done?” Savanna repeated.
“Yeah,” Dakota said. “I just can’t keep doing this…”
“What part of this, Dakota?” Savanna asked warily.
Dakota’s face clouded with tumult. “I’m not sure, maybe all of it. I don’t know.”
“Does that include us?” Savanna asked her look expectant.
Dakota took longer to answer, her eyes dropping from Savanna’s. “I don’t know, maybe.”
Savanna looked back at Dakota shocked by her statement. Shocked and hurt.
“That’s not how this works, Dakota,” Savanna said, her tone slightly sharp. Dakota heard it and looked surprised. “You don’t just get to toss us aside when you’re done with us,” Savanna said, feeling anger and burning tears sting her eyes.
Shaking her head knowing she was about to burst into tears, Savanna left the room. She went upstairs to her bedroom lay down on the bed to cry. She heard the front door open and close and then heard Dakota’s car start. She cried harder, knowing that she might have done irreparable damage to her relationship with Dakota, but her anger at Dakota’s casual mention of being ‘done’ with them had hurt her to the core. They’d opened their hearts to Dakota and she’d seemed so very happy with them. But at the first sign of trouble, she ran? That wasn’t right! Savanna’s heart ached painfully. She knew that Dakota was reacting like so many street kids would, but she’d put so much of her heart into the girl, and for her to just turn like that… It hurt so much.
Lyric found her still lying on the bed two hours later. She immediately strode over to the bed and kneeled in front of where Savanna lay.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Lyric asked, her tone alarmed and worried at the same time.
Fresh tears started then as Savanna thought about having to tell Lyric what Dakota had said. Lyric had spent so much time with Dakota, rebuilding the car, talking to her about different things, trying to give Dakota the role model she’d needed for years. In Savanna’s mind, Dakota was throwing that back in their faces and it made her heart hurt all over again.
On the job site the following day, Dakota sat smoking on the outside stairs. She remotely heard the sound of skill saws, hammering, and power tools all around her. Music played on her phone as loud as the phone would go. She sat with her elbows on her knees, her head down, and no one bothered her. No one except Cassandra. She recognized Dakota’s dark, forbidding visage. She’d seen
it a number of times over the two years they’d been together.
“What’s wrong?” Cassandra asked, sitting on the stair below Dakota’s feet.
“Nothing I want to talk about,” Dakota said flatly, taking another long drag off her cigarette.
“Is there anything I can do?” Cassandra asked.
Dakota’s eyes narrowed. “I think you’ve done quite enough.”
Cassandra’s head came up slightly, realizing this was apparently about Jazmine.
“You had a fight with Jazmine?” Cassandra asked.
“Cass… don’t, I mean it.”
“Yes, yes, I know,” Cassandra said, rolling her eyes. “I’m not allowed to talk to you about her. I understand that, but maybe I can help.”
“How?” Dakota asked looking cynical.
“I don’t know, by being a sounding board for you, or something…” Cassandra said shrugging helplessly.
Dakota didn’t answer. She simply sat and smoked until the cigarette was down to a nub, and then she lit another one.
“Chain smoking, always healthy,” Cassandra commented. Seeing that Dakota didn’t even crack a smile, she sighed heavily. “So Jazmine was angry about what I told you…”
“Angry I expected,” Dakota said.
“What didn’t you expect?”
Dakota didn’t answer, she started to bounce her knee in agitation.
“Did she kick you out?” Cassandra asked.
“Is that hope I hear in your voice?” Dakota countered darkly.
Cassandra pressed her lips together, blowing her breath out through her nose. “I’m sorry, it probably was, but the question remains…”
“I left,” Dakota said, her tone low. “She can’t kick me out, it’s my house.”
“Oh yes, I’d heard you sold the Bugatti,” Cassandra said, grinning. “And made the investment I didn’t.”
Dakota nodded.
“But you apparently also invested in some real estate, which was wise too.”
“Does that surprise you?” Dakota asked.
“No, it doesn’t,” Cassandra said. “I should have let you do more with all of this,” she said, gesturing to the house and meaning real estate in general.
Dakota was silent.
“Is there anything I can do?” Cassandra asked tentatively.
Dakota narrowed her eyes. “Like what?”
Cassandra blinked a couple of times, having not expected that question.
“To help…” Cassandra finally said.
Dakota blew her breath out through her nose, her lips twisting in a sardonic grin.
“I get that you think you love me, Cass, but it’s never going to happen, okay?” Dakota said her voice more gentle than Cassandra would have expected it to be.
Cassandra drew in a deep breath, nodding as she expelled it. “You really love her.”
“Like a complete dumbfuck, yeah,” Dakota said.
Cassandra grinned at Dakota’s term. Leave it to Dakota to be so cynical, even when in love. She nodded then, blowing her breath out again.
“You know,” Dakota said, “the simple fact that you were willing to tell me you were in love with me, says something.”
“What does it say?” Cassandra asked, looking somewhat defeated.
“It says that you’re open to love,” Dakota said. “And that’s not something I think you ever were before.”
“Neither were you,” Cassandra replied her look pointed.
Dakota blew her breath out, nodding. “I know.”
“I heard that you’re part of a family now, is that true?” Cassandra asked.
Dakota grimaced, emotional pain lancing across her features as she nodded.
“What is it?” Cassandra asked. She’d never seen pain like that in Dakota before.
“Nothing…” Dakota said, shaking her head, as she did her best to fight back the tears that wanted to come out.
She knew that she’d hurt Savanna the day before at the house, and she was terrified that she’d never be able to mend that hurt. She’d slept in her car the night before, and even doing that felt like a betrayal of everything Lyric and Savanna had done for her. It made her feel sick.
As if thinking about them had conjured her, Dakota looked up and saw Lyric standing at the end of the walkway, on the sidewalk, looking at her. Cassandra saw Dakota’s look and followed her line of sight to Lyric. She stood up and walked up the stairs into the house, touching Dakota on the shoulder as she walked past her. Dakota stood up. She wasn’t sure what Lyric was doing there, but felt like she should be standing for whatever was about to happen.
Lyric looked back at her for a long moment, and then started to walk toward her. Dakota stepped down the two steps to put her on level ground. Her body was tense. She wouldn’t blame Lyric for hitting her, she deserved whatever was coming. She knew that. She was stunned when Lyric took her into her arms immediately, hugging her fiercely.
“You’re not leaving our family, Dakota,” Lyric told her, her voice gruff. “So you can get that stupid fucking thought out of your head right now.”
Dakota felt tears stinging her eyes, as she nodded against Lyric’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Dakota said when Lyric stepped back.
Dakota looked up and saw that Savanna was now standing at the end of the walk, her arms crossed in front of her. Dakota strode over to her. She stood in front of her with her head lowered.
“I’m sorry, Savanna… I didn’t mean what I said, I just…” Dakota said tearfully.
“You just don’t know how to be in a family,” Savanna said, “and we need to teach you that.”
With that, Savanna put her arms around her. Dakota responded by throwing her arms around Savanna and bursting into fresh tears. Lyric watched her wife and her daughter, smiling with tears in her eyes.
Cassandra watched the scene from the house and felt a sense of loss; she knew she had only had the slimmest chance of getting Dakota back. With people like this to support her, the girl was truly lost to her. Part of her was happy for Dakota, however, and it was that part of her that she decided to concentrate on.
Dakota was smoking in the backyard when Jazmine arrived at the Falco home. Savanna answered the door, and opened her arms to the other woman seeing how unhappy she looked. They had talked on the phone a few times, and Savanna had told her what her thoughts were on the matter. Jazmine had taken it all in and had thought about little else for the last three days.
Without a word, Jazmine walked over to the sliding glass door, looking out to where Dakota sat. Her heart beat hard in her chest. She knew that this conversation could go well, or terribly wrong. She was terrified.
“Just stay calm,” Savanna told Jazmine. “No matter what she says to you, remember she had a right to be angry about what you said. So don’t try to justify it, it will only piss her off again, okay?”
Jazmine took a deep breath, nodding, knowing that Savanna was right. She’d regretted her statement moments after it was out of her mouth. She’d now had days to see how very wrong she’d been. She just had to manage to stay calm enough to tell Dakota everything that had been in her head.
She opened the sliding glass door and stepped out. Dakota glanced back, blinking once when she realized who it was, her face expressionless. Then she turned her head forward again.
“Can we talk?” Jazmine asked softly.
Dakota didn’t answer for a long moment. Finally, she gestured to the chair next to where she sat. Jazmine sat down looking at Dakota’s face and seeing that she was still hurting from what had happened between them. It broke her heart a little bit more.
“Dakota,” Jazmine began softly. “I’m so sorry for what I said to you. It was incredibly stupid and thoughtless and it really wasn’t directed at you.”
Dakota raised an eyebrow. Her blue eyes flicked to Jazmine as she took a long drag on her cigarette.
“Let me explain, okay?” Jazmine said her voice beseeching.
Dakota nodded slow
ly, her look closed.
“When I said that you were more interested in Cassandra’s money, I really wasn’t talking about you… I mean, God, I know how not about money you really are… You’ve been so incredibly generous with me and I think that what I said was more a reflection about how I felt about taking so much from you without giving back… You know? I just had all these feelings of inadequacy; I was never able to give you as much as you gave and I just… I guess I let it get all screwed up in my head and I threw it out at you… And you didn’t deserve that… And I understand if I’ve ruined everything, but I love you so much and I just… I needed to tell you this, and tell you how sorry I am…” She looked down at her hands, tears from her eyes dropping on them.
She was afraid to look at Dakota, afraid that she’d see the ice cold mask she’d seen the night Dakota had left. Her heart was breaking all over again for what she may have lost. She knew without a doubt that if she truly lost Dakota, it was all her own fault.
She heard Dakota blow her breath out slowly.
“You said you know I’m not about money,” Dakota said, her tone even.
Jazmine looked up at her, nodding her head.
“But you think that you need to give me money to keep me,” Dakota said then.
Jazmine winced at the inference. She hadn’t thought about it that way before. She thought about it now.
“I guess money is just the easiest way to define things,” Jazmine said. “Whether I’m doing my share in the relationship.”
Dakota nodded slowly thinking about what Jazmine had just said.
“Do you have any idea how valuable love is?” Dakota asked her.
Jazmine shook her head slowly.
“And do you have any idea how little of it I’ve had in my life up until I had you?” Dakota asked then.
Jazmine’s tears started again as she shook her head.
“That’s what you gave me, Jaz,” Dakota told her. “And that was worth so much more to me than fucking money ever could be.”
Jazmine closed her eyes, blowing her breath out as she felt the stab of pain in her heart. Dakota was talking in past tenses and she knew she’d lost her. She wrapped her arms around herself and bent forward, taking short gasping breaths.
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