“Yes, definitely,” she answered.
Sophie got dressed in a pair of her cutoff overalls and a paint-stained shirt and started outside but then stopped and called her mother again.
“Are you really going to be all right?” Rebel asked.
“It’s the guilt that finally got to me. I saw a seventeen-year-old girl with dark hair on the plane, and I started thinking about the baby I didn’t want and lost. I figured I didn’t deserve to be happy when my negative thoughts had killed her.”
“That’s not the way to think,” Rebel said. “Could you have changed the color of your baby’s eyes or hair with thoughts? Of course you couldn’t, and you were scared out of your mind during those few weeks. Don’t blame yourself for what you couldn’t help, but from now on, you need to talk about things. Is something else going on?”
“Teddy and I had a big fight, and I don’t know if it can be fixed. I said some mean things, and so did he, and . . .” Sophie’s voice cracked.
“And is this your first huge argument?” Rebel asked.
“Yes, it is,” Sophie answered.
“Then it’s a test,” Rebel told her. “Time will tell if you passed the test or failed it. Whichever way it goes, you’ll have learned a lesson from it.”
“Thanks, Mama,” Sophie said. “I love him, but I’m just not sure—”
Rebel didn’t let her finish the sentence. “You’ve got a lot on your mind. You need to figure things out before you rush into anything. Give it time.”
“I love you,” Sophie said.
“Love you right back,” Rebel said and ended the call.
Sophie laid the phone to the side and peeked out the window above the sink. Emma was setting up the big easel for her and had laid the supplies out on the picnic table. Sophie had had friends, acquaintances, and fans, but she’d never had anyone like Em.
“Nothing and no one will ever keep us from seeing each other again, not even Victoria,” Sophie declared. She went outside and glanced out over the land at the mesalike mountain out there in the distance. “I’m going to paint that mountain with that big tree in the foreground and a whole family of javelinas underneath it. They’re as ugly as my mood has been, so it seems fitting.”
“That might get some of this mood out of your system.” Emma had set up a little tabletop easel and already had paint squirted out on a palette. “I’m going to work on a bunny that Josh and I saw when we went on our adventure. When did you know that you were in love with Teddy?”
The question came out of the blue so fast that it took Sophie by surprise. “I’m not sure. It’s been so long . . . ,” she stammered and tried to put words to the feelings she had had when she first met Teddy. “I think I must’ve loved him from the day I first saw him, but I didn’t admit it to him for a long time. Why are you asking?”
“I want to know what it feels like to fall in love,” Emma said. “How do you know for sure that it’s love, and not dependence on someone for your happiness? I have no money unless some of my paintings sell. I wouldn’t ever want Josh to think I’m only interested in him for security. I want to be independent and make my own way.”
“You won’t be penniless for much longer. My lawyer is working with Victoria’s lawyer, finally, and they’re trying to reach an agreement about your money. She’s being bitchy, but then, we expected that. And, honey, Josh would never think that of you.”
“I hope not.” Emma looked genuinely worried.
“But,” Sophie added, “this is the first guy you’ve ever let into your life. Are you sure about your feelings?”
“Filly and I had a long talk, and she said that we’re always hunting for something. That can be love, inspiration, or even the truth, or in my case, hunting for myself. I think I’ve found the truth, and I’m starting to find myself, but I’m not sure what it feels like to be in love. That’s why I asked you,” Emma said.
Sophie took a deep breath. “I’m a pretty poor excuse to ask about relationships right now. I just let my own pain and guilt get in the way of my relationship with Teddy, but my advice would be not to get in a rush, but yet not to go too slow. Never waste a minute of time. Do you think you’re ready for the physical side of a relationship?”
“I don’t know. Now that I’ve figured out what really happened, maybe I should get some more therapy and talk to a professional about that part of things.” Emma blushed.
“What was it you read to me this morning?” Sophie asked. “Something about love putting you face-to-face with lots of obstacles. Well, this is a big one for you. But like that other part said, you’ve got to surrender to being loved. You are worthy of this, Em, whether it’s with Josh or another guy.”
“I trust you, Sophie. Please don’t say that just because you know it’s what I want to hear,” Emma said.
“Honey, you should know me well enough to know that I would never lie to you,” Sophie said. “Teddy’s going to come home on Saturday, probably not long after we get there. Think you could stay with Filly a few days?”
“No problem.” Emma nodded.
“You really have come a long way this past month,” Sophie said.
“So have you, Sophie, and I’m going even further before my life is over. I’m ready to live, not just exist. I’m going to get in touch with Nancy. I liked her, and now that I’m away from Mother, maybe she can help me with the issues I have now,” Emma said.
“That’s a great idea.” Sophie was so proud of Emma that she couldn’t wipe the grin off her face.
Chapter Twenty-Two
When it was time to leave Big Bend, Emma lingered behind for a few minutes to say goodbye to the RV after Sophie had taken the last load out to the vehicle and was already behind the steering wheel. Emma really wanted to go back to the trailer park, but she still hated to leave her little vacation home.
“Goodbye, little house,” she whispered as she closed the door behind her and left the key under the porch step. “I hope the next people enjoy staying with you as much as I have.” She sighed as she crossed the short distance to the vehicle and slid into the passenger seat.
“Thank you for everything, Em,” Sophie said as she started the engine and backed away from their parking area.
“Right back at you.” Speaking past the lump in her throat wasn’t easy for Emma. Until Sophie rescued her, she hadn’t felt emotions in years—now everything either made her giggle or cry. Either emotion meant she was alive again—not just existing, but able to feel and to love again. Even the sadness was wonderful after living in a state of numbness for so long.
“How long until we are home?” Emma watched out the side window until the RV was completely out of sight. “I’ve got a FaceTime session with Nancy this evening at six. We’re connecting so much better, even just in the two sessions so far, now that I have my memories back.”
“An hour to Terlingua and then half an hour past that to the trailer park,” Sophie answered. “Are you in a hurry to see Josh?”
“Of course I am, and speaking of the men in our lives, have you talked to Teddy?” Emma asked.
Sophie shook her head and stared out the side window. “A couple of times, but it’s a little awkward, and I hate that.”
They stopped at the Terlingua convenience store for a bathroom break and a cold drink, then did the last leg of the journey. Emma caught herself wringing her hands when Sophie turned off the highway onto the dirt road leading back to the trailer park. She tried to stop but she couldn’t, so finally she tucked them under her legs.
“Nervous, are you?” Sophie asked.
“Little bit,” Emma admitted.
“You’ve talked to Josh every night. Why are you edgy?” Sophie asked.
Emma raised an eyebrow. “How many boyfriends have you had?”
“Boyfriends as in a date or two, a kiss at the door, and then either he or I wasn’t interested? Maybe a dozen. Relationships as in several dates that lead to sex, about four. But Teddy is the only one for many years,” Sophie
answered.
“Well, this is my first as in kiss at the door, and my first time to hope that it develops into something more,” Emma said. “And I’m terrified that I’ll mess it up. Nancy has told me to just let nature take its course, but that’s tough to do when I feel the need to control everything. She says that’s because I think if I’m in control, then no one can hurt me. She said I’m feeling this because I wasn’t in control of my own life for so long.”
Sophie patted her on the shoulder. “I’m glad you got in touch with her, and I don’t mean to pry, but how are you paying for the sessions?”
“She said she would do them pro bono, but I told her that when I sold some paintings, I would pay her. Tell me that I’m strong,” Emma said. “I need to hear you say those words.”
“You are very strong. Look what you did for me. Just be yourself, and you’ll be f—” She braked so hard that if Emma hadn’t been wearing a seat belt, she would have hit the windshield.
Emma shifted her focus from Sophie to the trailers right ahead of them. “Josh, Teddy, and—oh my God!”
“Is that your father?” Sophie gasped. “When I saw three guys, I just figured the other one was Arty, but I see now that it’s Wyatt. What’s he doing here? He doesn’t look much different than he did when we were kids. And what in the hell is Teddy doing here already?”
“I guess Mother sent Daddy as a last-ditch effort to make me leave this place. I hope he doesn’t ruin my homecoming with Josh.” Emma sighed.
Sophie took her foot off the brake and inched the SUV the rest of the way to the spot where she parked. “Teddy’s walking toward us,” she whispered.
“I guess he wants to talk. I’m getting out. He can sit right here and y’all can figure things out without all the rest of us hearing.” Emma unfastened her seat belt. Suddenly, the door swung open on her side, and Josh held out a hand.
He helped her out of the vehicle and kissed her on the cheek. “I really, really missed you. Your dad is here, Em. He wants to talk to you.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “Did he say about what? He came quite a ways.”
Josh looped his arm into hers and walked with her across the yard. “No, he didn’t. He’s just been sitting on the porch waiting all this time.”
“Daddy?” Emma pulled her arm free and held her hands tightly to keep from twisting them. “Did Mother send you?”
“Hello, Emma, and no, Victoria didn’t send me,” Wyatt answered.
“Why don’t y’all go around to your back porch, Em, so you can talk in private,” Josh said and then turned around and headed toward the picnic table.
Emma wanted to call out to him not to leave her, that she needed him to help her, but then she sucked it up and nodded toward Wyatt. “Follow me.”
I am strong. I can stand up for myself. Nancy said I’ve made great strides, she thought.
Wyatt was one of those men who could easily get lost in a crowd. Nothing about him stood out except his light brown eyes that were so much like Emma’s.
Awkward.
That’s the only way that Emma could explain the situation. A morning breeze sent the aroma of fresh-brewed coffee right to her nose, and she wondered how her father took his coffee. Most of the time he was either off to work or about to leave by the time she made it to the kitchen.
She walked up onto the porch and found a pot of coffee, two mugs, and a plate full of cookies on the table between the two red chairs. Whoever did that had had the right idea, but she couldn’t even think about eating cookies or sipping coffee right then.
“Help yourself,” she said.
“Don’t mind if I do.” He poured a mugful and raised a dark eyebrow at her. “Want one?”
“No, thank you.” She slumped down into the other chair.
“I wanted to see you before I leave the country,” he said.
“Mother said you were getting a divorce.” Emma’s voice sounded strangely hollow even in her own ears. “Where are you going?”
“I know that she sent Jeffrey and that she was plenty mad when you called her that day.” Wyatt smiled again. “She hates confrontation, even as mean as she is.”
“I’m tired of the way she’s made me feel, Daddy.” The last word seemed a little strange in her ears when she said it this time, but he was her father, after all. “I’m not mentally ill. So, you are really getting a divorce?”
“Don’t you think it’s about time? Our marriage was a mistake from the beginning. We got married for the wrong reasons,” Wyatt said.
“Did you stay together for my sake?” Emma asked. “If you did, neither of you did a very good job.”
“I know that, too.” Wyatt nodded. “I didn’t know how to be a father, especially with Victoria griping about everything I did, so I gave up too easily and let her have her way. You know how she is.”
“Oh, yeah, I do.” She sighed and was beginning to feel comfortable enough to pick up a cookie and take a bite. “Think she’ll ever change?”
“Not really. She’d have to want to change, and in her eyes, she’s perfect the way she is. I wish her the best, but I can’t spend the rest of my life with her, so Betsy and I are going to Belize to live. We’ve signed all the divorce papers, and an agreement has been reached. Your mother isn’t happy with it, but I am.” Wyatt laid a folder on Emma’s lap.
Betsy? The name seemed to come out of thin air. Why hadn’t she seen his dissatisfaction before now?
“These are your bank accounts with a pad of checks and a debit card. I set it all up in a bank in Dallas, but you can change it to one in this area if you want.”
“How . . . what . . . ,” Emma stammered. “Mother said . . .”
“I know what she told you, but the only way I would agree to let her have my part of the house was if she gave you back what was rightfully yours. She has been throwing a fit about Sophie hiring a lawyer, and this gives her a way out that makes her feel like it’s not her fault. She’s giving you the money to get me out of her life. She can blow the money from the sale of the company if she wants, but we’ve caused you enough pain without leaving you penniless, and for that I’m truly sorry. I should have been a better father,” Wyatt said.
“Thank you.” Emma ran a finger over the folder. Now she was financially independent. That was one step in the right direction.
“Do you want to know about Betsy?” The smile on his face when he said her name spoke volumes.
“I would think that she’s your new friend or girlfriend, right?”
Wyatt nodded. “She’s a waitress at the café where I go for coffee every morning. That’s where I met her, and we fell in love. I’ve invested my paycheck the past thirty years, and we are retiring to Belize because I don’t want to live anywhere near Victoria. I’m sorry if that disappoints you. God knows that you deserve so much more than I’ve ever given you. Maybe someday you’ll come and visit me, especially if you have children. I’d like to think maybe Betsy and I would be better grandparents than I was a father.”
“She doesn’t have children?” Emma asked.
“She had a miscarriage when she was just a teenager, and there were complications,” Wyatt answered.
“Did Mother tell you about”—she stumbled over the words—“the rape?”
Wyatt’s brow furrowed into deep wrinkles. “What rape?”
Emma took a deep breath. If she could tell Josh such a private thing about herself, then she could tell her father. “I buried the memory of it for a long time, but I’m getting better every day out here in this wilderness.” She went on to tell him the story, ending with how Sophie had rescued her.
“My God!” Wyatt tucked his chin down to his chest. “I’m so, so sorry that I made things so hard that you couldn’t trust me with this. When did you tell Victoria?”
“After I remembered what had happened and Sophie helped me sort through some of it. She asked me what I did to cause it,” Emma answered. “But I’m past what Mother thinks, a
nd to tell the truth, part of me knew she’d say exactly what she did. The only thing I regret right now is that I didn’t face the whole situation sooner. I wanted her to love me like Rebel loves Sophie so badly that . . . well, you know.” She shrugged.
Wyatt raised his head and wiped at his wet cheeks.
Emma left her chair and knelt in front of him. “Don’t cry, Daddy. It happened. I’m learning to deal with the problems Mother caused right along with that. I’ve got a wonderful therapist who is helping me so much.”
Wyatt wrapped her up in his arms. “You have to forgive her, Emma. Not for her sake. She doesn’t deserve it. But for your sake, so that you don’t become bitter like she is. I told her for years that she wasn’t doing the right thing by you, but she wouldn’t listen.”
“Maybe someday.” Emma moved out of his embrace and got to her feet. The happiness in her heart had nothing to do with the bank accounts and everything to do with the fact that at least one of her parents could be a part of her life.
“I should be going now. A word of advice, even though I don’t have the right to give it.” Wyatt stood up. “If you ever marry, make sure it’s for love. If it’s not, then you’ll be miserable.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for coming to see me, and for what you’ve done about my finances,” Emma said. “I think I’m ready to manage my own life now.”
“I can see that, and if you ever need anything—and I mean anything at all—will you call me?” Wyatt took a step off the porch.
Emma stood up. “I’ll text you right now so you have my number. Will you keep in touch with me?”
“I’d love to do that,” Wyatt said as he looked down at the text on his phone. “Are you never going back to Dallas?”
“Not right now, Daddy. My plans at this time are to live right here in this trailer park.”
“Good for you. I haven’t seen you this happy in years. Not since you were a little girl and Sophie used to come to the house.”
“I’d love to hear that you and Betsy made it all right to Belize,” Emma said.
Could it be that she and her father might build a father-daughter relationship in the future? She hoped so. Having a parent in her life, and maybe someday a grandfather for her children, would be nice.
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