by Kay Maree
“You know what, I bet you can work on this by yourself, Mike.”
I turn to walk away just to make my point, but he gives quick chase.
“Wait. Wait! Come on Tommy. We’ll get dates. If not, we’ll take Ella and she can be both our dates.”
“You know that’s really weird, right. She’s like our little sister.”
“She sure doesn’t look like anyone’s little sister lately. You mean to tell me you haven’t noticed?”
I try hard to keep my face neutral. I sure as hell have noticed but for the first time, I don’t want to be honest with my best friend. Mike is one of my two best friends. Mike, Ella and I have been the three musketeers since the third grade. That was the year that we were assigned to seats next to each other in Mrs. James’ class. We couldn’t be more different. Mike was already showing promise playing football even in the third grade. Ella was the girl next door who liked to climb trees more than she wanted to be a debutante. Me? I wanted nothing more than to take things apart and put them back together.
Now after six years together Ella is changing. She is becoming a woman before our eyes. She no longer wants to spend time climbing trees and building forts. She is becoming something else too. She is becoming a beautiful distraction for me and my thoughts are no longer about spending time together as just friends. I have thoughts of spending time alone with her. When I think about kissing and finding out what everyone is raving about, I think of Ella. I think of her hair blowing in the breeze and the freckles on her cheek dotted with red from the sun. I think about the golden sun of August surrounding her on the branch of our favorite tree as our lips touch for the first time.
“Hello! Tommy! Where did you go?”
I realize I drifted off in thoughts of Ella. I don’t want anything to come between Mike, Ella and me. I know the right thing to do would be to find someone else to occupy my thoughts with. I hope Mike has the same inclination.
“Alright, let’s get this heap of trash turned into a truck.”
“Thank you, Tommy. I couldn’t do this without you! Hopefully we’ll have dates and don’t have to bother Ella. You know how much she hates dresses anyway.”
We both nod, and head into the garage to grab my tools. Hopefully working on this bucket of rust will keep me from thinking about Ella in a dress.
Present
A light knocking sound brings me out of the memory.
“Excuse me, sir.”
I look up but don’t see anyone. The truck is behind me and I can see the driver is still in the vehicle.
“Sir, can you hear me?”
This time I shake off the last lingering tendrils of the memory and realize the voice is coming from my left. My lower left to be exact. I look out the window and down.
Standing with a tiny fist poised to knock on the door of the tow truck again is a young girl.
“Hello,”
“Hello, sir. Could you please help us? My mom needs to go to work and I need to go to school.”
“Yes of course. I need to get down and see what is going on. Would you be so kind as to step back?”
“Oh yes, sir. Thank you very much.”
Her proper way of speaking causes me to chuckle. I wait for her to step back and then I step out and towards the broken down pick up. Her short legs are working overtime to keep up with my long strides as she walks with me to her mother’s truck.
“What’s your name?”
“My name is Michaelina, but everyone calls me Lina.” She extends her tiny hand up to me and I shake it while I introduce myself.
“Hello Lina. It is very nice to meet you. My name is Thomas, but people call me Tommy.”
“Nice to meet you sir. Do you think you can get this old truck running?”
“Lina!”
“Sorry Mom!”
“Get in this truck right now.”
Even though I haven’t heard her voice in years, I know it instantly. I turn toward her and the morning sunlight shines around her just like it always did every time I thought of her.
“Ella!”
“Tommy?”
“How do you know my mama?”
I hear Lina speaking behind me, but my feet continue to Ella. I reach her, and we embrace. There is a lot that’s happened since the last time we saw each other, and I doubt either of us are ready to talk about it on the side of the road.
“Michaelina Janise get in the truck please.”
“She is the perfect blend of you two.”
“Yes, she is. She seems to have gotten my mouth though. Poor girl.”
“I heard that.” Lina’s voice carries over the hood of the truck without being seen.
“Close that door, now!”
The slamming of the truck door emphasizes Ella’s earlier statement.
“So, what seems to be the trouble?”
Ella motions back to the truck with a sweeping motion.
“Same thing that was always wrong with this truck. It’s a pile of garbage. Don’t you remember?”
We both laugh at this like we did when Mike first got it.
“I do remember but that pile of garbage has outlasted any car I ever had.”
“Me too. It’s outlasted a lot of things.”
Ella’s shoulders slump and her smile falls away. I am watching the two things that have always been my weakness happen in real time. I have avoided seeing her for many reasons, but it appears fate had other plans for us.
“Hey, let’s get you where you need to go, and I’ll come back and get the truck afterwards.”
“Are you sure? We don’t want to be any trouble.”
“Of course, I’m sure. Get your stuff and I’ll start the truck up.”
“Ok. Let me get Lina and our stuff. Welcome home by the way.”
“Thank you.”
I walk back to the truck and after turning the engine over I clear a few wrappers and napkins away, so they aren’t sitting on anyone’s old lunch. I walk around and open the passenger side door when I spot them walking up. Lina sits in the center and Ella sits closest to the door. She gives me directions to the school first.
“We really appreciate this. It has been a rough morning.”
“My mom had to put more money in my college fund for cussing. Isn’t that awesome.”
I laugh out loud at her comment and can’t help my retort.
“That sounds like your mom alright.”
“Hey!” I feel Ella swat my shoulder and instead of hurting it sends goosebumps down my arm. It really has been too long since I’ve been with anyone if this is getting my attention. Then again it is Ella.
“Tommy, while you’re driving to my school can you tell me how you know my mom?”
I look over at Ella whose face reveals she isn’t quite sure what I’ll say next. I wink at her over the top of Lina’s head to let her know I understand this is her daughter and will not say anything inappropriate.
“I met your mom in the third grade so there is a lot to tell but why don’t you tell me about you first. What grade are you in?”
“I’m in the first grade. Did you know my dad too?”
“Yes ma’am I did. We all grew up together.”
“How come I never met you before?”
The last question punches me in the gut. What is the right answer to that question? Best to go with the obvious.
“I was away at my job. I am very happy I got to meet you now though.”
“Me too.”
In my periphery I see Ella exhale as she looks out the window. I have a feeling the ride to her work may be less entertaining than the one to Lina’s school.
Present
I watch from the truck as Ella kneels down to send Lina off on her day. When I realize my eyes have wandered to her rear end I turn and look straight ahead. I am used to punishing myself so I keep the radio off so I can hear their conversation.
“Have a good day at school. I’ll be h
ere to pick you up.”
“Is Tommy going to be with you?”
“I don’t think so honey.”
“Can he have dinner with us, Mom?”
“I will ask him, but I can’t promise he’ll say yes. Tommy has his own life.”
“Yes ma’am. Make sure you ask him.”
I turn back to the pair just in time to see Lina run up to a group of girls and into the school. Ella climbs back into the truck and I immediately go into service mode.
“Where to now?”
“It’s not far from here just take a right at the light.”
After she gives the first direction the truck is silent. The silence takes my mind to places I don’t want to be. Although I probably don’t have the right to, I want to talk to Ella.
“How are you?”
Ella looks straight ahead for a long time. I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to ask that, and I know the answer too. I continue driving and wait for her to answer me.
“That’s a hard question to answer. How are you?”
“I have been home for a few weeks now and I am adjusting. Things could be worse.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
If someone asked me in the third grade what Ella would grow up to look like I’d have missed the mark by a mile. She’s more beautiful than I ever thought possible. The truth is, she is more beautiful than she knows. The freckles on her cheeks have faded and she has completed her transformation into a being a woman. She is wearing jeans and a button-down shirt, and she still looks like a million bucks. The biggest difference is the sadness that has taken root deep in her eyes. She used to have a spark of passion that left embers everywhere she went.
I know all too well what took that away and it eats at me every single day. Now I have to see if for myself and I know I have been selfish to stay away.
“What do you do now?”
“I have a business that helps people transition out of the military.”
“Really? What made you do that?”
“My experience leaving the military wasn’t that much fun and after I wallowed in my own pity party for a while, I realized I could help people, so I did.”
“That’s amazing, Ella. You always had a way of making people feel welcome and now it is your business.”
The corners of her mouth come up in a smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. I doubt anyone who hasn’t known her as long as I have would even notice. I doubt most would care but it wrenches my gut to see it.
“Thank you, Tommy. Now, are you going to tell me why I haven’t talked to you since Michael died or do, I have to guess?”
I immediately picture a much younger version of Ella with her hands cocked on her hips, but this version didn’t make much movement at all. She deserves answers.
“How far away are we from your job?”
“About ten minutes. Why?”
“I don’t think that’s going to be enough time to talk to you about this. Is it possible you are going to be extending me a dinner invitation for later?”
“It’s possible, under one condition.”
“Okay. What’s the condition?” I know the answer, but I just have to buy a little more time before the request is official.
“I want answers.”
“I don’t know if I can give you the answers you want. If I give you what I can will that be enough?”
“I guess we’ll find out at dinner if you give me your number, I’ll text you the address.”
“How are you going to pick up Lina and get home?”
“I’ll have someone at the office take me to get her and take us home. I’ll text you, so you have my number and can give me the estimate for the truck. I hope it’s something simple.”
“Okay. I’ll go get it now and start working on it, so I can get you an estimate.”
“Thank you for the ride. I do hope I get to see you later Tommy. It’s time.”
I don’t have the words yet to respond so I give a head nod and a wave as I watch her walk away. I have a lot to process this afternoon and it’s not just the truck. I need to figure out if I am going to be the man, I know I can be or the coward I have been for the past six years.
Past
“You look beautiful, Ella.”
“Thank you, Tommy. You clean up pretty good yourself.”
It’s Homecoming and she’s wearing a light blue dress that makes her eyes look as big as the moon and twice as bright. She is sparkling even brighter than usual. Her sun-bleached hair hangs straight down her back and sways back and forth across the top of my hands on her back as we dance. She smells just like she always does with a hint of something more adult on top of it. One spray of her momma’s perfume if I had to guess. I like it more than I should. I already know she looks at Mike different than me, but I can’t seem to stop my feelings from growing.
“Where is Mike?”
“He went to get something to drink. I think he’s tired of dancing.”
“I am sure that’s true. He’s terrible at it anyway.”
The list of things Mike is bad at is very short. I find myself happy that dancing is something I happen to be good at. We both laugh at our missing friend’s unfortunate lack of rhythm and keep swaying to the slow song.
“I think he wanted to make sure you danced too.”
“That's probably true. He knows I would rather watch everyone else have fun.”
“That’s no way to have fun, Tommy. You could have taken Becky or Diana. They both think you are just dreammmmy.” She fans herself as she laughs poking fun at me. Everyone knows the boy the girls go crazy for is Mike. Mr. Football himself has the girls lining up. Coming here with me and Ella was a big disappointment to most of the female student body.
“Cut that out. I am perfectly happy going with my two best friends.” She slaps my shoulder lightly but doesn’t move her hand back to my neck after it lands. The heat of her hand is imprinting on my skin and I’m grateful we aren’t standing closer together.
“Me too. Of course, how could I pick between the two most handsome boys at school?”
I preen at her compliment even if I find it hard to believe. She’s the most beautiful girl at school by a mile and she may be the only one who doesn’t know it. It is part of what makes her so beautiful.
“Thank you. It’s hard to compete with the most beautiful girl in the school.”
“I knew you weren’t very smart Tommy but now I think you might need glasses, too.”
We both laugh quietly before I respond.
“Come on Ella, you know that every boy in school thinks you are beautiful. Why do you spend all your time with me and Mike?”
In the deepest part of my fantasy world I want her response to be that she secretly thinks of me and her alone and just spends time with Mike because he’s already there. In real life I know this won’t ever be true.
“You’re my two best friends. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing.”
For emphasis she goes up on her tiptoes and puts a kiss on my cheek. It’s not the first time she’s done it, but it doesn’t feel like before. I look at Ella and she has the hand from my chest pressed to her lips. Maybe something felt different for her too. Unfortunately, it’s the same time Mike returns and I can tell something has changed for him too. He saw the kiss.
“Thirsty?”
He holds out two glasses of what the school calls punch and we stop dancing, and each take a glass.
“Thanks man.”
“Thanks, Mike.”
“You’re welcome. So, what are you two chatting about?”
“I was just telling Tommy how all the girls are waiting patiently for him to ask them out.”
“Oh really. Is that so? Well what are you doing here with Ella then? Better not keep the ladies waiting!”
Mike gives me a playful push towards the side of the gym all the girls are on. Although it seemed a little harder than it should I laugh along wi
th the joke and give my rebuttal.
“No, we were talking about how everyone thinks Ella is beautiful and wonders why she spends so much time with us.” I point between Mike and me to make the point more effectively.
“Well I’m not sure they wonder why she spends time with both of us, do you Ella?”
Ella giggles as she always does at our bickering. In my mind though I know that there is something else brewing here, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
It would take me a few more years to understand what was happening to our happy little triad.
Present
“Hey Butch, mind if I put this truck in bay four?”
“Go ahead, I don’t have anything scheduled to come in today.”
I grab two of the other guys and together we push the truck onto the lift, so I have access to the engine above and below. I am hoping all I need to do is change fuses or reconnect loose wires but knowing this truck as well as I do, I am betting it needs a little bit of everything. I can hardly believe she is still driving it. I knew losing Mike was hard on her, but I didn’t think she would be the type to hold on to a truck she couldn’t stand. It makes me feel a little better about staying away. Somethings are just better left unsaid. I need to decide exactly what that list will entail before I go to dinner tonight. That list is going to bring up a lot of memories for me.
It is better to focus my energy on the repairs. Although I have been punishing myself for years, I know I couldn't prevent the tragedy that brought so much pain into her life. I can’t control the past, but I can make sure Ella and Lina to have a safe and reliable ride, so I give the truck a full diagnostic. I was right. It needs the works. Tires, brakes, new battery, gas, a detailing job and a time machine. I can’t give her an estimate for all that work. It takes only a few minutes to formulate a plan that can help everyone get some redemption and help. If I'm being honest, the plan started to fall into place the minute she asked me to call her with the estimate.
I grab my phone and dial.
“Hey Ella. It’s Tommy.”
“Hi Tommy. How bad is it?”