by Jazz Jordan
***
Inside the kitchen of Grandma’s modest bungalow in the heart of South Central, Angelique felt more at home than she ever did in her mother’s Hollywood Hills mansion. Grandma stood at the sink washing collard greens while Angelique sat at the table shucking fresh corn. The familiar sights put Angelique at ease, from the warn, yellow wallpaper to the colorful refrigerator magnets shaped like music notes.
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with her,” Angelique said. “Why in the world did she need another boob job?”
“Well, I wish I knew.”
“I don’t care what she said; I know Dave put her up to it.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it. Your mother has always been her own woman in every sense of the word.”
“How does it make you feel, Grandma? I mean, if my daughter did pornos, I don’t know what I would do…”
“That’s the whole point; there was nothing I could do, so I had to accept it, eventually.”
“But I know you were ashamed.”
“At first, it was really hard for me to deal with, but the thing that hurt me most was the way other people treated me. Some of my lifelong friends refused to even speak to me. I’d walk into church, and everybody in the pew would get up and move to another one. I felt so isolated. But one of the few friends I had left came over to visit me and sat right where you’re sitting right now, and she told me I ought not worry about it. She said, ‘Opinions are like buttholes and everyone’s got one, so what!’”
Grandma chuckled at the memory. “And I came to see that she was right. Those so-called friends of mine were never really friends to begin with if they were so fickle to stop talking to me because Carmen made a skin flick. I’m not saying that I condone what she did, but at the end of the day, she wasn’t killing nobody or dealing no drugs. She wasn’t breaking the law.”
“Do you know how embarrassing it was for me Grandma? In high school, boys would come up to me just to show me naked pictures of her in magazines. It made me want to throw up. And I still have no clue who my father is! What kind of woman conceives a child during an orgy with four men? That’s just gross beyond words. Every time I go to the doctor to fill out a form, I have to leave the part about my father’s medical history blank. I have no clue who he is, and I don’t even know what race or ethnicity he is.”
“I wish things were different, sweetie. Carmen was such a wild child, but there’s plenty of women who made her mistake. All you have to do is watch the Maury show…”
“But my life isn’t television, Grandma.”
“And I wasn’t trying to suggest that. Sweetie, I can’t imagine how you feel, but one thing you ought to be grateful for is the fact that you did have a father. I know Dave wasn’t perfect by any means, but he did love you, he even adopted you. He and Carmen raised you as best as they could.” She paused. “And you know I never agreed with their lifestyle, but they kept it away from you. And trust me when I say that Dave was more of a father to you than Carmen’s father ever was to her. We came up here together from Houston, and your grandfather swore that he wanted us to start a family. But he skipped out on me when I was eight months pregnant, and he never bothered to send so much as a birthday card or even a letter to our child. I’m not saying that you don’t have cause to be upset with Carmen, but sweetie, you can’t hold on to that anger forever. It’s not healthy.”
Angelique took a deep breath. “Yeah, that’s the main reason why I came out here.”
“And I’m glad you did.” Grandma smiled. “And so is Carmen. Did you see the way her eyes lit up when you walked into the room? She loves you more than anything in the world, sweetie.”
“She’s just got a strange way of showing it.”
“That may be, but she loves you nonetheless, sweetie.” Grandma put the clean collard greens into a pot and seasoned them.
“It is good to be back home. Don’t get me wrong; I love New York, but it’s great to see you, and I was glad to see Carmen too.”
“It’s so odd to me that you call her by her first name.”
“Well, that’s what she wanted. Carmen didn’t want people to know that she was old enough to be my mother. Sometimes, to make her mad, I’d yell out, ‘Mom!’”
“I’m sure she’d be happy to hear you call her that now.”
Angelique shrugged.
“So what’s goin’ on in your love life?”
“Not much.”
“Now, that’s just a shame. A girl as pretty as you ought to have plenty of suitors.”
“I wish, Grandma.”
“Now sweetie, you’ve got to get out there and mingle if you’re ever going to give this old bird some great-grand kids.”
“You’re not an old bird.” Angelique smiled. “You lead a more active life than some people my age. How is the play going?”
“The show opens next week, and the best part of it all is that I get to play a cougar. My boyfriend in the play is only fifty-years-old.” Grandma smiled. “I couldn’t believe my luck when the director introduced me to this tall, handsome man and informed me that he was gonna be my co-star.”
“Well, if you ask me, he’s the lucky one.” Angelique winked. It felt so good to be in her grandmother’s presence.
Later that night, they feasted on delicious soul food and reminisced about their most memorable times together. Three days later, Carmen’s condition stabilized, and she was moved out of ICU. She thought about what her Grandma said and realized her anger was self-destructive. Although Angelique was far from forgiving Carmen, she felt that she was in a more peaceful place. Most of all, she was grateful that her mother’s health had improved and looked forward to having some heart-to-heart discussions with Carmen when her schedule permitted it.
The next morning, Angelique caught a flight back to La Guardia Airport. She was ready to get back to work at Mandingo Records. Mona had been understanding about her family situation, and now, she was determined not to disappoint her friend and business partner. Angelique was anxious to prove her worth as a partner and team player. That night, she ironed her black power suit, preparing herself to tackle any task.