How could anything survive this? Coralia—my friend. She should be dead to me, but I often thought of her, although I knew we were never meant to be together. A flash lit the night white, and I hurried to close the porthole.
Inside the vessel the wind wailed, shifting round corners of the gloomy ship, carrying salt-perfumed air. Moisture glistened on every surface. The overpowering, rancid odor of the animals’ feces and vomit drifted about, nearly thick enough to see, and wafted into our stall, causing Gadreel and me to retch and sputter at times. The animals did not seem to take much notice of it, but we were unfortunate enough to sense the potent stench which, like brimstone, burned our nostrils.
I looked forward to leaving the elephant every night. After feeding I would go to the upper level and breathe in the night air through the portholes. I even managed to convince Gadreel to venture out with me once in a while. I grew weary of the vessel, although it saved our lives. I wished with all my might that the rain would end. After all, the world was already one vast ocean.
One night I was feeling especially lonely and disheartened. I watched Ham and his woman.
Their lust and passion was particularly contagious on this night, and my loins were on fire. The waters were calm, much more so than I had ever seen them, and the vessel did not rock so. I returned to my stall and convinced Gadreel to venture out onto the deck with me. On this night it did not take much convincing. She too seemed to grow tired of this long voyage.
It was just after sunset, and the sea reflected the soft violet of twilight. I lay on the wooden plank floors of the deck and allowed the raindrops to massage my body. Gadreel glanced at the male part of me and then strolled away and stood by the railing. I looked down at myself and realized my male organ stood at attention. I pushed it down against me and looked across at Gadreel, who was looking out to sea.
Still holding my member adjacent to my thigh, I stood and approached her. “If I offended you, it was not what I intended.”
She stared into my eyes. “I cannot provide you with what you need.”
Heat rose to my face, and I shook my head. “I have no right to ask anything of you.”
She caressed my cheek and passed her thumb across my lower lip. “Have you ever lain with a female?”
I looked away, my cheeks ablaze. She knew the answer without my speaking it.
She pulled me down to the floor and lay atop me, pressing her body against mine. Confused and speechless, I held my breath as she caressed my face and kissed me on the lips, neck, and chest before returning to my mouth.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I held her tight against me. She pushed back from me.
“Do not stop, I implore you,” I said in a breathy voice. “I have never experienced such pleasure.”
Our gaze met, and she had just the right amount of heat in her eyes. “Do not fret, for the best is yet to come.”
I trembled with excitement as Gadreel mounted me and slid me inside her. She bobbed and gyrated her hips, making me feel incredible sensations.
“You are so beautiful,” she said with bated breath as she kissed me. My body tensed with pleasure. An enjoyable force began to build inside me. The immense pressure swelled in me until I climaxed in a gratifying release. I shuddered as a wave of powerful spasms rippled through my body. When the moment ended, I lay spent and Gadreel lay beside me, continuing to kiss and caress me while the rain washed us clean. I knew one thing for certain: nothing more pleasurable existed—ever.
“How do you feel?” she asked.
“I feel gratified and serene.” I grinned as she rested her head on my chest and closed her eyes.
“I watched you do this many times with Samael,” I said, regretting the words as soon as they escaped my lips. She frowned, soared to her feet, and stormed away.
I leaped to my feet and rushed after her. I took her arm, pulling her close. “If what I said was wrong, I am sorry.”
“I cannot condemn you for speaking the truth,” she said in a soft voice as she stared at the floor.
“If the truth upsets you I will not speak it again,” I said as I lifted her chin and kissed her softly on the forehead.
“Nonsense. You should always speak the truth.” She caressed my face and tried to smile. Her smile had always been remarkable, the kind that makes one think of beautiful lyrics and springtime, a spectacle that can change your day. This smile, however, was different, like something was missing or had been taken away.
“We are both lonely, sad beings.” She looked as forlorn as might be expected of a bird trapped in a cage for so long. I touched her hair. She turned away.
“We should head back to our stall.”
I watched as she rushed away. She was right. The sky was hinting at sunrise, and soon the humans would awaken.
“Gadreel,” I said. She stopped and looked at me over her shoulder. “I enjoyed the moment we shared, and I hope you will teach me to delight you, as you have pleased me.”
She stared at me for a while, and then the corners of her mouth curved into a slow smile. “Indeed I shall.”
*
After forty long days and nights, the rain finally ceased. Noah and his sons opened every door and window on the ark. Then they began to take the animals to the deck of the ship to walk around and get fresh air. This gave the others the opportunity to clean the animals’ stalls and pens, which made the atmosphere a lot more tolerable.
Gadreel and I continued as lovers, and I learned much from her in the art of lovemaking. She told me on numerous occasions that I was a natural and had a gift for pleasing the female gender. Hearing those words made me smile. However, at times I thought of Coralia, especially because they resembled each other so. Gadreel and I needed each other on this long voyage to nowhere, and we became devoted friends.
As the waters receded, the ark came to settle on a high mountain. Noah, his family, Gadreel, and I continued to wait for months while the surface of the earth dried. I was eager to walk on land and get out of this elephant’s body for good, although part of me lived in fear, for Gadreel and I did not belong in the ark.
“We should not have been saved,” I told Gadreel.
“Or perhaps God Himself gave me the idea to possess the animals and enter the ark so we could be saved.”
“God could strike us down the moment we step out of the ark. He has a vengeful side,” I said.
“If He desired us dead, a bolt of lightning could have done his bidding while we were on the ship’s deck,” Gadreel said.
Those last few months waiting to exit the ark, after the waters receded, seemed the hardest of all. I wondered why we had not yet disembarked.
*
One day, Noah and Ham conversed as they walked us on the deck. Gadreel and I listened to their conversation.
“Father, it has been a year since the waters receded. God has invited us to leave the ark, yet you linger,” Ham said.
“I do not see the purpose in departing the ark, if after living on dry land for some time and begetting children, God shall see fit to bring another flood.” Noah crossed his arms, refusing to leave the ship.
God seemed to have heard Noah’s concerns, for He spoke to him:
“Never again shall there be a flood to destroy the Earth.”
God’s resonant, disembodied voice brought Noah to his knees. I was in awe of the richness and clarity of His voice. The animals grew silent as they stared up toward the sound of His words. As a sign of this everlasting promise, He set a rainbow in the clouds. It was enormous and resplendent, like I had never seen. I was content to have witnessed this event.
Noah finally left the ark, and he and his sons released the animals. Horses neighed and cantered out of the massive vessel. Chimpanzees screeched and knuckle-walked down the ramp leading to the dry earth. Countless other animals stomped, scuttled, and flew out of the ark with enthusiastic screeches, roars, and bleats. Most of them spread to the four winds. Others were enclosed in divine orbs of light that carried them away to lo
cations far beyond our sight.
When Gadreel and I stomped out of sight, we left our hosts. The elephants swayed from side to side, weaving and rumbling. At first we thought they might be in distress, but then we realized they were dancing. They walked away, swishing their tails.
I wiggled my toes in the soft earth beneath my feet and collapsed to my knees. I grabbed handfuls of rich, black soil, allowing it to fall through my splayed fingers. Eyes wide, I stared at the sky, grateful to be alive and free from the restraints of the stall where I had lived for over a year. I dropped to the ground and rolled and squirmed in the dirt like a worm.
Gadreel covered her mouth and giggled. She sat beside me on the ground and passed her hand over my matted hair.
“You know I love you,” she said, her smile bittersweet.
I sat upright and gazed into her eyes, my heart pounding. “Yes, and I love you too,” I said, struggling to catch my breath. “You are so much more than sunshine. All my life I have been isolated. Then you came along and I was never lonely again.”
She wrapped her arms around her body as if trying to console herself. “I love you like the sky loves the birds, and I shall always be a friend, but it is time we go our separate ways.”
I stared at her in disbelief. I opened my mouth to tell her I did not want to be alone. In her company was the happiest I had been in so long. I wanted to say her friendship meant the world to me, but I was unable to form the words, as if my tongue had turned to stone.
“It is in these moments of pain and fear that I see right to your soul and know my faith in you, my love for you, is eternal.” Her voice was brittle, as though she could cry at any moment. “Do not look at me that way, with those compelling blue eyes, I implore you.” Her lips quivered and she looked away.
“We were lovers, companions, and friends for over a year on the ark. Why must we go our separate ways now? Why not travel together? I cannot bear the thought of being alone again. I do not want to lose my best friend.” I covered my head with my hands and held back the blood pooling in my eyes.
She gazed at me, her face twisting into an agonizing grimace. “We have different paths. Where your path leads I cannot follow.”
I shook my head. “I will go wherever you go. I will follow you,” I said, reaching out to take her hand.
I saw pity in her eyes but it was obvious she had made up her mind. “Where I am headed takes you far from your goals, for you desire to find your mother, and I intend to stay as far away from her as possible. She has never stopped searching for me, and if she finds me she may use me to find and kill my family, and that is a fate worse than death. So, you see, you must find your own way.”
She was right. Of course I did not want Gadreel or her family to be harmed, but abandon the search for Lilith? I needed to know if she yet lived. I meant to confront her and ask why she did not love me. And why she tried to kill me. And once these questions were answered, I would end her life.
Gadreel and I embraced. I held her tightly for as long as possible, all the while flames hollowed my insides. She combed her fingers through my hair and nuzzled her face against mine. Finally, she kissed my forehead, pulled away, and took flight. I watched her soar through the sky like a great bird until she was far beyond my sight. And I was alone once more—an empty shell, I thought, with only my anger for company.
Chronicles of Lilith – 4
Time seemed to stand still in this prison of light. There was no day or night, only white, blinding radiance. I had no idea how long we had been here—a decade or two or maybe four? Gremory tried to develop some way to keep track of time but gave up after a while. It was maddening beyond belief. We took turns sleeping and hunting for food in the magenta sea, and then we sat with nothing to do but think and stare at our ugly forms. I spent most of the time in my head. Alone with thoughts of my son and other victims I had taken through the years. Something like guilt plagued me. In constant torment, I feared I would soon grow mad. Something had to change.
I leaned forward toward Gremory. “How long do you think we have been here?”
“It does not matter how many different ways you ask. I have told you, it is impossible to track the passing of time here,” he said, crossing his arms.
“You are supposed to be a mastermind!” I exploded out of my seat. “I expected your intellect to be superior to most beings. It is the reason you are in my company to begin with, and yet you have failed me when most needed.”
“Apologies. I long only to serve you, but you ask for the impossible.”
“Since leaving the dark realm with the floating boulders, I have had no peace.” I paced back and forth, massaging my temples. “Thoughts of my son and what I did to him plague me.”
“Do you mean you are feeling regret for past wrongdoings?” Asmodeus asked. A chuckle escaped his lips.
I glared at him. “I would not go as far as calling it regret, but it is all I think about. The dark realm triggered something inside me. My victims lined up before me, every heinous thing I had done to them revisited. Their pain, fear, sorrow… these feelings became my own, lingering inside me, tormenting me—especially thoughts of my son.”
“You must expel these thoughts from your mind at once. If you give into them, this guilt shall haunt you forever,” Gremory said.
“I am afraid the longer we are here the more difficult it shall be to rid myself of these feelings,” I said, collapsing in a stupor to my seat, holding my head.
I glanced up and caught sight of Asmodeus. He sat, squaring an ankle over one knee, looking relaxed and smirking in my direction. It seemed to me he was enjoying my suffering, and without realizing it, I tightened my hands into fists.
Sila caught her reflection on the smooth white wall and grimaced. “Shall we be imprisoned here forever then?” she asked, banging her fists on the wall as she began screaming like a lunatic.
“Stop your shrieking, you blue ghoul!” Gremory shouted, rolling his eyes at her.
Sila screamed louder and charged Gremory, which was futile since as jinn she was more spirit than physical form. She could not hurt him anymore than he could hurt her, but they certainly tried.
Irritated, I erupted out of my seat again and rushed to Asmodeus. I grabbed his ankle and pushed it off his knee. “You are the only one of us who has been to this realm and returned to Earth, yet you have not offered an opinion.” I stabbed his forehead with my finger. “You have remained silent long enough. I need to know how you returned to the realm of man and how you knew when it was time to go back.”
“I keep no secrets from you,” he said as he got to his feet and stood before me. “I did not know how much time I had spent here until I returned to the realm of man. What seemed like mere weeks here was decades there.”
I gasped and stepped back. “Are you saying that centuries have gone by for mankind while we linger here?”
“That is a broken question. I do not know how long we have been here, so I have no way of knowing how much time has passed over there,” he said, his manner indifferent and quite vexing. “There is much I need to tell you, but it must be at the right moment.”
I glowered at him and then turned to Gremory. “It is your turn to hunt for our food.” As Gremory turned to leave, I signaled Sila to go with him. “Bring back plenty of aquatic creatures with multiple eyeballs. It looks like it is time to feed Asmodeus’s hair.”
I watched them leave and then spun to face Asmodeus again. “I decide when it is the right moment for you to talk, and that moment is now.” I wanted to draw blood. “I know you have kept us here this long because you believe the longer we are here, the less probable it is that I will find my companion in the realm of men, but you are wrong, because my mate is as powerful and intelligent as any of us. Otherwise, he could not be for me.” I smirked at him and continued. “I want you to tell me everything. Start talking and do not stop until I know all that you know. Do not try my patience any longer.”
Asmodeus swallowed hard. “In
order to leave this place we must pass through the prison again.”
“Yes, yes. I figured that much. Go on.”
“Well, it will not be quite as simple this time. You see, we left our imprint in the prison realm, and the keepers will be waiting for us when we return.”
“What?” I yelled with my jaw clenched and drew up my fists. “How did you escape then? How did you return to the human realm?”
He looked away avoiding my eyes. “Two of us made it here, but only one of us returned.”
“What does that mean? What happened to your companion? Look at me!” I yelled and yanked his face toward me.
“The keepers can be bribed. They will allow you to leave if you give them something in return, but they would not accept just anything. In order for me to be granted passage back to the human realm, I had to give them my companion.”
“Ah, so you sacrificed your ally to save yourself?”
“I did. And you and I shall have to do it again.”
“Tell me, is this how you planned it?” I scanned his ugly, arrogant face. “Or were you still trying to decide who you were going to sacrifice?”
“Of course this is how I planned it. Gremory and Sila were always the intended sacrifices,” he said, frowning.
I snickered. “Do not look so wounded. I believe you.” I turned away and sat at the opposite corner of the cave to wait for the others to come back with our food.
After eating and feeding Asmodeus’s hair, we discussed leaving the white realm.
“It is a risk,” I said. “I have a feeling in my gut that enough time has passed. I am certain it is safe for us to return.” If I had to remain another moment in this place I would go mad.
Gremory and Sila did not need much convincing, since they were as weary of this place as I. So we got ourselves ready and swam the ocean tunnel to the seashore.
Asmodeus led us to the portal. “We can pass through two at a time. I shall pass with Gremory.”
“Sila and I shall pass through together.” I grinned at her and took her hand. “We shall go first.”
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