by Daisy Allen
I don’t say anything, just pick at the label on my beer.
“Honey, I flew five thousand hours to get here because my darling fiancée thought you needed a cuddle. Talk to me. What’s going on with you two?”
“What isn’t?”
“That bad, huh?”
“No, that good.” I turn to her and shrug.
Her face softens. “Aw, Maz.”
“No. No ‘Aw, Maz’. She’s Jez’s sister, Cadey,” I sigh.
“Yeah. And you’re his friend.”
“Bros before hos?”
“No. What I meant is, in the end, the happiness of the people he loves most will be what’s most important to him. Trust me.” She gives me a slow nod, and for just a moment, I want to believe her that this will all end well.
I lean over and give her hand a squeeze, “I’m glad to see you.”
“You too, and while your face is still pretty too,” she laughs and pinches my cheek again.
I’m about to lean in and give her another hug when we hear a loud shout from the other end of the bar. I can just make out Emily and Anca standing there surrounded by a growing group of men.
“Shit.” I jump to my feet.
“Whoa, wait. Let’s just see what’s happening.”
“I don’t need to see what’s happening, those guys are harassing them.” I take a step forward, before a leather clad arm thumps against my chest.
“Stop. She can take care of this herself.”
I push the air away and look up at its owner. “Jez, are we not seeing the same thing? Your little sister is being molested by a bunch of guys in a bar, and you don’t want to do anything?” He just looks at me and shakes his head.
Over the noise in the bar, I can hear her voice, it’s raised, and I can’t quite make out the words she’s saying. The blood in my veins boil and I take another step forward. Jez grabs my arms and pulls me back, hard
“Don’t do it. man. Take a breath first. Trust me, she’s not going to appreciate you intervening if she can take care of the situation herself.”
“Fuck you, Jez. Look!” I point over to the growing crowd of men tightening around her. “You’re okay with that? If you are then FUCK. YOU. Don’t sulk just because she said she doesn’t need you anymore.” I shake my head at his pettiness.
“Maz… you shouldn’t talk like that,” Cadence warns me, but I ignore her as I tear my arm out of his hold.
“It’s okay, Cadence. We both know he doesn’t care how I feel anymore. So,let him go, It’s not the first mistake he’s made.” I hear Jez say as I push through to where Anca’s standing.
There’s shouting and laughter and my chest tightens with worry. I elbow one of the men as I force my way into the middle of the circle, where Anca is standing. Emily’s been pushed out of the circle. They’re all pressing closer around her, beers in hand, eyes roving all over her body.
“Hey, babe!” she says to me as I come up next to her.
I spin around, taking in the scene. “What the hell’s going on?
“What do you mean?”
“I’m just… what are you doing?”
“I’m telling these guys my story of meeting Vanessa Mae at my college-…” I don’t let her finish and grab her wrist, pulling her towards a gap in the crowd. “Whoa, where are you taking me?”
“Yeah, buddy, where are you taking her? She hasn’t finished yet.” One of the men says, blocking me from stepping forward.
“She’s done entertaining you for tonight.” I spit in his face.
“Marius!” She shouts at me and tries to pull her hand out of mine.
“Hey… is this guy bothering you?” One of the other meatheads comes up and tries to push in between us.
I can’t believe what’s going on. Who the fuck do these guys think they are? “You’ve got to be kidding me, right? I’m saving her from you guys.”
“Oh my god,” I hear her say, her hand coming up to her forehead.
“Saving her from us? It looks like you’re the one she’s trying to get away from.”
“No, I’m her…”
“Her… her what?” meathead number 1 interrupts me.
“Her bodyguard?” meathead number 2 jumps in.
“Her boy toy? Her momma?” The crowd starts to get into it.
Anca steps in between us and grabs my hand. “Guys, it’s fine… let’s go Marius.”
“Or maybe she’s your momma? Go home little boy…” meathead 1 sneers.
I move out from behind Anca and push myself against him. “That’s it…just shut the fuck up.”
“You’re gonna make me? Mommy’s boy?”
“Marius! Stop it!” I hear her yell somewhere in the back of my head.
“Just stay out of this Anca. I’ve got this.” I jam my finger into meathead’s chest. “You’re going to fucking regret you ever came here tonight and messing with my girl.”
He snickers and pushes his face close to mine. “Why? Because you’re going to hit me with your itty bitty bow? Yeah, I know who you are. Can’t even play a proper instrument. Go take your groupie and fuck off home.”
“She’s not my groupie.”
“In that case, maybe she won’t mind coming home with a real man then.” He reaches for Anca, and before I know what I’m doing, I swing and my fist makes contact with his jaw. The pain through my hand is blinding, but it doesn’t distract me from watching him recover and pull his own arm back, ready to swing at me.
His arm comes around in an arc, almost in slow motion, and I feel my body duck out of the way. The momentum of his swing helps me as I run forward, ramming my shoulder against him, taking him down to the ground.
“Oh my god, Marius!” Someone yells out. But it barely registers.
His knee comes up and slams against my chest, and for a second all I can see is stars.
I can feel myself dragged to my feet, hands grabbing under my arms, pulling me up.
“Get off me!” I struggle out of the hold. I spin around and lunge back at him, forcing him to take a few steps back.
“Fuck you, asshole,” he slurs.
I whip my hand back to slap the smugness of his face and feel it make contact.
There’s a scream.
“Anca!” Cadence yells and I spin around to see Anca stumbling back, her hand holding her cheek.
Oh my god. What happened?
“Anca!” I yell, but before I can take a step towards her, a fist slams into my cheek and knocks me to the ground.
“Jez, no!” She screams again, just as he looms above me. I reach up to cover my face, but he’s pulled away before he can hit me again. I can just make out Brad and Sebastian dragging him out the door as I sit up, my vision blurry.
“Come on, Marius.” Cadence and Hailey pull me to my feet.
“Where’s Anca?”
“Don’t worry, she’s fine, we gotta get out of here. Now.”
I can just make out the flash of camera phones in our direction as someone throws a sweater over my head as we rush out of there and into a waiting taxi.
“Guys. What happened?” I ask as soon as the taxi pulls away from the curbside.
“Anca… she got hurt.” Cadence said, her face tight.
“Fuck. BY who?”
“By you, Marius. By you.”
The stars come back and blind me and I lay back against the seat as the world falls down around me.
***
“Where’s Anca?” I say as soon as I open the door to the joint hotel suite.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” Jez spring up from his seat, before Brad pulls him back down, patting him on the shoulder, whispering something to him.
I ignore him, even though it’s hard to, with my aching cheek reminding what just happened between us.
“She’s resting, Marius. Probably just let her alone until the morning,” Sebastian replies, walking over to me and Cadence, who lets him lead her over to the couch.
“Just leave her alone from now on.” Jez says, his voice tens
e, even as he tries to stay in his seat.
“It was an accident, man. You’ve got to know that.”
“Do I? She was doing fine.”
“You didn’t see what I saw.” I plead with him.
“You want to know what I saw? I saw YOU hit Anca.” He glares at me, his eyes accusing.
God. What have I done? “I didn’t see her there, man. Come on! You know I wouldn’t hurt her.”
“Do I?” He asks again.
“Jez…” Brad cuts in, but there’s no point.
Jez jumps to his feet and takes three steps, pressing his chest against mine and his fingers against my shoulder.
“All I know is that you went over there, even when I told you not to, and she ended up with a bruised fucking cheek. And that you caused it. So, hot shot, how the fuck do you think I should feel? Would YOU trust you?”
He’s right. Of course he’s right. “I’m sorry, man. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”
“I will, I’m going now.”
“No! You stay the fuck away from her. I thought… I thought if there was anyone I could trust to treat my sister well, it would be you. I’m not going to make that mistake again.”
“Jez!” We turn to sound of Anca’s voice. Her face is red and her eyes even redder.
“Anca!” We both run to her. But Jez pushes me back hard, and I stumble against the coffee table.
“Stop! Enough! Both of you! Enough!” She yells and runs out of the room.
Jez turns to me, acid in his eyes.
“I said it to you before, but now you better fucking listen to me. You stay the fuck away from my sister. Just stay away.”
Chapter Twenty-nine
Anca
I’ve never been an extrovert.
Even in my most outspoken, outgoing moments, there’s a part of me that feels like I’m floating out of body and watching myself play act for a moment, hiding from the shy, quiet girl inside.
My memories are filled with trying to survive the trauma that colored each and every one of my days since my losing my parents.
That kind of life really doesn’t crave any more drama.
I don’t search for movies with rollercoaster love stories, romance novels with implausible twists and turns before getting to an unsatisfying ending; my heart is already barely held together by the scars of my childhood pain.
I crave contentment.
Simplicity.
The quiet joy of lying in Marius’ arms and his sleeping breath in my ear.
I never wanted anything more than that. I didn’t want the burden of Jez’s hurt. Of that look in his eyes that two of the people he trusts most in the world have succumbed to their own selfishness to betray him.
It taints it, it taints everything.
And even as I sit here, remembering the wild look on Jez’s face as he lunged towards Marius, I can’t help but think, they are so alike.
Unable to see past their own egos to see me for who I am.
A soft knock on the door pulls me from my memories of the night.
I open it and a sliver of bright light from the hotel hallway splits my dark room in two.
“Hey.” Marius says, his voice low. His head leaning against the doorframe. “Can I come in?”
I open the door a little, and move to the side letting him step past me and then close the door behind him. He walks over to the open window; there’s the barest glow from the moon filtering through.
We stand there in silence for a moment as our eyes adjust.
“Anca.” He reaches out and I bite my lip, trying not to flinch as he cups his cool hand against my bruised cheek. “I’m so sorry.” I don’t say anything. I’m not sure what there is to say. “I didn’t see you there, it was an accident.”
“I know.” I whisper.
“You-you believe me?”
“Of course, I do. I know you wouldn’t try to hurt me on purpose.”
He pulls his hand away and he falls to his knees, his face in his hands. It takes everything I have not to wrap my arms around him.
There’s a sob and when he pulls his hands away, his face is wet with tears.
“Thank you.”
“What for?”
“For knowing that I didn’t hit you on purpose.”
“Marius, a lot of really fucked up things happened tonight, but you deliberately hurting me, was never one of those things.”
“Jez… Jez thinks I did it on purpose.”
I shake my head. “No, he doesn’t.”
“He does… he said…”
“He’s… he’s probably just as confused as we all are right now.”
“Anca…” He reaches for me, and I pause before taking a step back. The hurt in his eyes sears, and I have to look away.
“Marius, just because I believe that you didn’t hit me on purpose, doesn’t mean everything’s okay.”
“Is it because Jez-...”
“No, he shouldn’t have hit you either, but he was just protecting me. No, this doesn’t have anything to do with him.”
“Then what does it have to do with?”
“Me! You! US!”
“Anca…”
“I was fine, Marius. Nothing was going on, those guys weren’t doing anything and I wasn’t in trouble.”
“But…”
“No, listen. This is exactly what happened tonight, you just didn’t listen. You didn’t listen when I told you I could take care of myself, and you’re not listening now. I have enough of that in my life, with a big brother who refuses to let me grow up and… and the memory an ex-teacher, who made me second guess myself to the point of crippling anxiety.”
“I am not the Maestro.”
“No, and you’re not Jez. I’m supposed to be your partner, your lover. Not your ward. I don’t need you to tell me what I can or cannot do!”
“I…”
“Do you understand?”
“You looked like you were in trouble.”
“So, you just barged in and started swinging your ego around. And who got hurt?” I shake my head. He just doesn’t get it. If he can’t see what he’s done wrong, what’s the point of all this? I can’t be with someone who thinks he has to be the hero all the time. I have an older brother for that.
He looks up, and I know he feels remorseful. I just don’t know if it will change anything.
“You’re not my big brother, Marius. You should’ve known better. I want someone to support me, not carry me.”
“I made a mistake.”
“No, you made a decision. Yes, it was in a heated moment. A decision based on a preconceived notion that I need to be protected… because I can’t do it myself.” I pull away from him, trying to ignore the broken look on his face. “And that’s what really hurt me, Marius.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know, I just don’t know what you’re really sorry about.”
He nods, but doesn’t provide any more clarity. “Can I stay?” He asks, his voice so soft I can barely hear it.
Yes. I want to say to him. Stay and hold me until we both forget everything that happened tonight. But I don’t. “I’m sorry, I really need to get some rest… we… we can talk later, ok?”
I climb into bed and turn away from him. I keep waiting for him to leave, but the last thing that I remember before I drift off to sleep, is the sound of his breath.
Chapter Thirty
Marius
She hasn’t come out of her room all day, and I’ve stayed mostly in mine, except for pacing in front of her door, waiting to see if she’ll answer my knock. I’ve thought a lot about what she said, and the truth is, I can see where she’s coming from.
I can’t say that what she told me about what she’s suffered in the past hasn’t affected my desire to protect her. I just can’t imagine how much strength it took to recover from what happened with the Maestro, and the last thing I want is to ever see her hurt again.
Now I’m
the one who’s hurt her. Me. There’s really no reason Anca, and even Jez, ever should speak to me again. I get that.
I just have to trust her, as she’s asked.
I set the alarm to wake me in time for the night’s performance and fall asleep to images of her with tears in her eyes.
***
“Where’s Anca?” I ask later, poking my head out of the green room we have put aside for our meditation.
“I haven’t seen her,” one of the crew answers as he rushes off with a pile of cords looped around his hand.
Damn. I check my watch. Twenty minutes until curtains up. I won’t have time to go through the meditation routine with her if she doesn’t show soon.
Why isn’t she here?
I try to push her out of my mind as I sit and close my eyes and breathe.
***
“Where’s Anca?” I ask Jez as we get into position on stage, and he just shrugs without looking at me.
“She didn’t come meditate with me,” I tell him, and his head jerks up and he turns towards to wings.
“She’ll be okay,” he mumbles, though I’m not sure who he’s trying to convince.
“I hope so,” I say, again, to him or to myself, I’m not sure.
The lights go out, and there’s nowhere to go but forward.
***
“She is the sensation, you’ve all been waiting to see! Our very own harpist from heaven, ANCA PETRESCU!”
Sebastian intro echoes throughout the venue and the crowd cranks up their cheers to full volume.
I watch and wait. But there’s no movement from the wings.
Sebastian shoots a look at me and I nod, and twirl my finger, urging him to draw out the intro.
“If you were at our concert last week on the esplanade, you would have heard her perform a kick ass version of Beautiful, but that’s got NOTHING on what she’s prepared for you for tonight! GIVE IT UP FOR ANCA!!!!”
It takes a few more moments before I see her emerge from behind the curtain.
She gives the crowd a small wave as she walks over to the harp and settles down on the stool.
“Breath, baby, just breathe,” I urge her under my breath. Her movements seem stiff and tense.