by Len Webster
“Are you okay?”
He nodded, and whispered, “I want this baby with you. I want to be a father. I want to be the father of the child you’re carrying, not just by DNA, but by helping you raise him or her. I want us to be a family.”
His heart boomed.
His breathing became impossible as his lungs squeezed in anticipation.
He lost sensation in parts of his body as her lips slowly parted and that awe in her eyes was a sight he would never forget.
And at that moment, he let his desire and want for commitment speak for him. “I love you, Alexandra.”
He sealed his love with a soft kiss.
Her lips were how he remembered them.
Remembered their last kiss before she returned to Zürich.
Remembered how heartbreaking it felt in his bones.
This time, he felt love and hope.
When AJ pulled back, her eyes gazed into his. Just when he thought she might say that she loved him, she grasped his elbows and lowered his hands from her face and dug her hand under the pillow.
Evan watched as she pulled out a picture and set it in his palm, and said, “I love you, too, Evan Gilmore.”
He lifted his chin to see that small, vulnerable smile of hers. The one that told him she meant it. That she was afraid her love wouldn’t be enough. But she had no idea that it was all he ever needed.
Her love.
Their love.
The love for their child.
Evan looked down to find she had set the sonogram in his hand. He grasped it and stared at the dot.
That dot was their baby.
They had created that dot.
It became a blur.
That dot became lost in his teary gaze, and all he could do to find it was blink.
“We’re going to be parents,” he mumbled as he felt AJ press her palm to his cheek, wiping away his tears.
“Yeah,” she said as his eyes found hers.
And that moment, in her bedroom, on her bed with the pregnancy book by her lap and the violets just visible to his left, was perfect.
She was perfect.
Their baby dot was perfect.
“I love you, AJ,” he said in a low voice and just for them as he pressed his forehead to hers. “Thank you.”
It was all he could say.
Thank you for her.
Thank you for coming back.
Thank you for still loving him.
Thank you for having their child.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
87Fr
francium
ALEX
Summer before junior year of college
Alex tied the ribbon and then slid the box across the counter. “Have a nice day.”
The male customer who ordered a dozen red velvet cupcakes smiled and slipped a few bills in the tip jar. “You, too.”
Sighing once she saw the line she spent so long serving had ended, she took in the packed bakery. Customers filled the booths and tables, enjoying her mother’s cupcakes. Alex knew that this was the quiet period before the lunch crowd came in for the savory cupcakes and pastries The Little Bakery in Boston offered. Alex reached into her apron pocket and pulled out her phone. She had felt it vibrate earlier but ignored it to help out as much as she could before she took a break.
Though she loved working at her mother’s bakery, she had spent a lot of the summer with Evan Gilmore. It was hard keeping them a secret, and it was torture pretending he was just her best friend and nothing more. The only time they could really be together was when her parents were at work. The afternoon they had returned from Duke, they had made love in her bed before her parents came home. It was risky, but she only had hours with him before he returned to California. As she dressed, she realized it had been the first time she had ever been intimate with someone in her bed. Alex had never slept with her ex-boyfriend in her bedroom. When they were alone together, it was always in the guest room.
Alex tried not think of why that was. She tried to leave her ex-boyfriend in the past. Her summer belonged to Evan, and she knew that being with him again was right. Before he returned to Stanford, they decided they weren’t ready for her parents or Kyle to know. They wanted to be sure of their relationship before they came clean, especially with Evan returning to California. When she dropped him off at the airport, a sense of déjà vu washed over her. Evan kissed her and promised it wouldn’t be like last time.
And it wasn’t.
He called her the moment he landed.
Evan called and messaged her every day until his sophomore year at Stanford ended. Alex was there for him and was disappointed for him when the Cardinals didn’t make the play-offs. The moment he completed his finals, he said goodbye to his teammates and friends and returned to her.
Evan was right.
It wasn’t like last time.
Because this time, he came back to her and surprised her when he appeared at her front door. There was nothing to say as she pulled him into her empty house and kissed him. In that reuniting kiss, she felt all the promises he had yet to make. She tasted their future together and was sure of her choice. Their weeks apart after he came to Duke were what they needed.
It gave her relativity.
Time.
And most importantly, clarity.
She was sure loving Evan Gilmore was the right choice.
But of course, loving him wasn’t easy, especially with keeping that love a secret, but they made it work. Alex snuck over to his house and would spend the night or see him early in the morning. She was sure her parents had their suspicions, but she assured them that they were best friends just spending the summer hanging out.
As Alex unlocked her phone, she smiled at Evan’s message.
Evan: Hey, AJ. How’s work? I’ve barely seen you this week. Can I see you tonight?
Alex: Busy period just ended. Mum and Dad are heading over to New York to see Lori and Reese later tonight. That means we have the next few days of uninterrupted bliss.
Evan: Perfect. So dinner at my place after they leave?
Alex: Sounds great.
Evan: Want me to pick you up since you rode into the city with your dad this morning?
Alex: That would be great. I’ll see you later this afternoon.
Evan: Hey, AJ?
His question had her brows meeting.
Alex: Yes, Evan?
Evan: I miss you. I see you, but I haven’t been able to really see you.
Her heart swelled in her chest.
Alex: I know what you mean. I miss you, too. I love you, Evan.
Evan: I love you, too.
“You all right, my love?” her mother asked, interrupting her intimate exchange with Evan.
Alex locked her phone and tucked it back into her pocket. She smiled at her mother who was walking out of the kitchen with a tray of brownie cupcakes. “Yeah. Just texting Sav. Are you and Dad still going to New York tonight?”
Her mother began to arrange the cupcakes in the display case and nodded. “Yes. Lori asked me to bake for the cheer team’s summer party. Are you going to be okay? You know you can come with us.”
Any other time, she would have.
But this summer was about her and Evan.
“I have to catch up on some science journals. I’m a little behind. Plus, I might email Mr. Miller and see if he has any extra material to read that he has come across recently.” It wasn’t a complete lie. They were things she did plan to do besides be with Evan.
Her mother stood and laughed. “Alexandra, it’s summer.”
“Which means I get to read freely.”
“Well, spend some time actually relaxing while we’re gone. Didn’t you say Jordan and Addison are home for the summer? You should see them,” her mothe
r encouraged.
“I will,” Alex said, hearing the bell echo in the bakery. She glanced over as a very familiar face walked through the bakery doors.
“I’ll put the next batch in the oven. Tell him I said hi,” her mother said before she disappeared into the kitchen.
Alex nodded and turned her attention to the green eyes glinting at her. “Welcome home, Hunter.”
He grinned at her. “It’s good to be home, though later than I anticipated. You look really good, Alex.” His smile stretched wider. “Really good.”
“Thanks, Hunter. You stayed in California for most of the summer?”
“Stayed in Santa Cruz. Heard the whole gang is back in town, though, so I had to come home.”
“You want any cupcakes? They’re on the house.”
Hunter peeked over at the glass display and then back at her. “Only if you sit down and catch up with me. I haven’t heard from you since high school.”
Alex laughed awkwardly. He wasn’t wrong. Once she left for Duke, she cut all ties with her past. Reaching behind her, she unknotted her apron, took it off, and set it on the counter. “Mum, I’m taking a break. Need some help up front!” she yelled as she picked up a plate from the stack. “So what’ll it be?”
“Surprise me,” he insisted.
“Sure thing.” Alex grabbed the tongs, reached over, and picked up the Irish whiskey cupcake. Setting the cupcake on a plate, she put the tongs down, walked around the counter and found a free booth. She slid down in it and pushed the plate toward him once he sat opposite her. “It’s the Irish whiskey cupcake. I’m pretty sure it was your favorite.”
He grinned at her. “It is. God, I haven’t had one of these since the last time I was home. Your mother’s cupcakes are way better than anything I eat in California.”
“I’ll pass on the praise. How is UCLA?”
“Still loving it. I heard you were dating the number one NBA draft pick.”
Alex winced—surprised that Hunter would mention her ex-boyfriend. “Uhh, yeah, I was. How did you know that?”
Hunter chuckled. “Alex, you might not be in Red Sox articles anymore, but you’re in ones concerning NBA draftees. I read the articles about you two.”
“Yeah, well, Landon and I are over. Have been for a while now. He’s in Phoenix, and I’ll be going back to Duke after summer.”
He picked up the cupcake, peeled the paper back, and took a bite. She watched him close his eyes as he let out a soft moan of satisfaction. “Goddamn, this is amazing,” he said once he set the cupcake down and swallowed his bite. “As much as I love this cupcake, I came to ask you something.”
Her brow raised. “You did?”
“I did,” he confirmed. “I’m having a party at my place tomorrow night. You should come and celebrate the fact that we’re all back home.”
“Hey, AJ!” she heard Evan call out as he walked through the bakery doors, getting her attention.
“Evan?” Her brows furrowed. “What are you doing here? I thought you were stopping by later?”
Evan glanced down, surprised to see Hunter sitting opposite her. “Hey, Hunt. I didn’t know you were home.”
“Just got home yesterday. I was just mentioning the party I’m having tomorrow night,” he said as he got out of the booth. “You both should come. I better get going. Got a lot to do. It’s nice to see you two are best friends again.” And with that, he picked up his cupcake, bid them goodbye, and left her mother’s bakery.
“What was that about?” Evan asked as he gazed down at her.
“He just stopped by. I thought you were coming by later.”
Evan combed his fingers through his hair. “Kyle asked me to stop by Fenway for some Red Sox family stuff. It’s not for a while, so I thought I’d see if you wanted to grab some lunch.”
“Lunch sounds good,” she said, getting out of the booth. “The rush is over for a bit, so I’m sure Mum and everyone won’t miss me. Follow me to the office?”
“Sure,” he said as she led him away from the booth and toward the back of the bakery.
As they passed the second entrance to the kitchen, she yelled, “Mum, I’m going to lunch with Evan.”
“All right, Alexandra!” her mother shouted back.
When they made it to her mother’s office, she opened the door and let him enter the office first. Alex closed the door, and just as she spun around, Evan cradled her cheeks and his lips collided with hers. He kissed her deeply and with passion as he pressed her against the office door. His hands left her cheeks and captured her waist.
“Evan,” she moaned, moving her head away from his lips. “We can’t.”
He panted as his forehead pressed to hers. “I know.”
She rubbed her lips together as she peeked up at him through her lashes. “Not in Mum’s office. I promise, as soon as they leave for New York, we can spend hours together.”
“I honestly can’t wait,” he admitted.
Alex reached up, cupped his jaw, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you; you know that.”
He nodded. “God, I love you.”
“This shit is revolting,” Candy, one of their high school classmates, said as she coughed. “Jesus! You’d think the starting batter for the Bruins could afford better shit.”
“You don’t have to drink it, Candy,” Addison remarked.
Willow, who Hunter dated during high school, laughed as she snapped a picture of Candy’s contorted face taking another shot from the bottle. “Alex, you are not catching up on the numbers here. You’re three behind.”
Alex set down her red Solo cup, feeling the sweet haze of the two drinks she had consumed in quick succession. “My head is already spinning, Willow.”
“I think you definitely have had enough,” Jordan said.
The party at Hunter Jamison’s parents’ penthouse apartment was loud and hot. The music was a mix of old school rap and party anthems. To keep their relationship a secret, Alex and Evan had gone to the party together but went their separate ways soon after they arrived at the party. They had said hi to each other and spoke of how much they missed each other when they were pouring drinks. Besides those secret moments, they had barely spent any time together. He was busy with his high school baseball teammates, and Alex was with the girls from the cheerleading team. It was awkward being around Addison, the girl Evan took to prom, but Evan had told Alex what Addison had done the night he found her at Blue Jay’s, so she decided to put the past behind her.
“Hey, girls,” Hunter said as he stood in front of them. “Having fun?”
“Shit drinks, Hunt!” Candy said.
He glared at her. “You just have a shit palate, Can. Alex, how are you doing?”
“Fine,” she replied.
“Do you need anything?” Hunter asked, his green eyes sparkling at her. His caramel skin the perfect canvas for his eyes. It was no surprise that he was still so beautiful two years after high school.
She felt the girls’ eyes on her, but she ignored them as she shook her head at Hunter. “I’m good.”
“Well, find me if you do,” Hunter said with a wink before he returned to his group of friends. Hollers boomed over the music as a game of beer pong began in front of them.
Addison, Willow, and Candy scurried to the empty drinks table, leaving Alex and Jordan alone. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Evan Gilmore is looking at you as if he can’t stand being away from you for another second.”
Alex glanced over to find Evan looking at her. He had a small smile on his lips before he glanced away. “I doubt that,” she said, trying to play it off.
Jordan’s laugh echoed her tipsy state. “Oh, Alex. I wish you’d open your eyes. Look, he’s on his way.”
She watched as Evan approached them and stopped in front of her. “Hey, Jordan, you mind if I borrow AJ for
a second?”
“I don’t mind at all,” Jordan said as she opened her purse and pulled out her phone. “I have to call Carter. I wish he hadn’t gone back to Notre Dame for the weekend.”
Evan stepped closer and grasped Alex’s hand, pulling her away from Jordan and toward the balcony. They had to squeeze past many of the partiers and drunks. Someone had spilled their drink on their shoes, and Evan held her hand tight to hold her up so she wouldn’t slip.
Once they reached the sliding door, he slid it open, and they stepped out into the dark night. He slid the door close, giving them some privacy from the rest of the party and the world. Just her and Evan on a balcony with the warm Boston air ghosting along their skin.
He led her to the railing and faced her. His face showed no hint of emotion as if he was keeping all his cards carefully to his chest.
“What’s wrong?”
Evan inhaled a deep breath. “Do you know how many guys were eyeing you?”
Although she was tipsy, she rolled her eyes and then gazed out at the twinkling city. “Quite the view.”
“You are,” Evan said.
Alex peeked over to find him staring at her. “I meant the city,” she corrected as she turned to face him.
“And I still mean you.”
She swayed slightly as a small smile touched her lips. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck, thankful that the darkness kept prying eyes away from their intimacy. “Evan?”
“Yes, AJ?”
She tightened her arms around him. “Summer’s going to end soon.”
He sighed. “I know.”
“I go back to North Carolina, and you go back to California.” Alex pressed her lips tightly together. “What happens when we go back to college?”
“I want to be with you.” His hands found her waist. “I love you, AJ. I truly and unbelievably want to be with you.”
Her heart fluttered in her chest, loving his declaration. “So we’re together? Like really together? Like I’m your girlfriend, and you’re my boyfriend?”