by K. N. Banet
He turned and frowned at me. I only shrugged.
“I found you on your way to Mass, actually. Who knows? Maybe your god had his fingers on the scale.”
“Thanks for trying, but…I think I’m done with it. Religion and everything my mother taught me just made or makes me feel bad for…everything, even the shit that’s not my fault. I’ve been thinking about it for months, and you know…I think I’m just going to avoid it from here on out. Since I stopped going, I’ve stopped drinking.”
“You know, the guilt and morals don’t go away just because the faith does. You were raised by obviously good people who taught you killing is wrong. Mind you, I think there’s a grey area, but that’s not the conversation. Your god didn’t teach you, those around you did. Just like those around me taught me that murder is wrong, but killing to protect myself or stop a great evil is fair game.” I shrugged again. “At least, that’s my perspective. Beliefs change, too. After a hundred and seventeen years, mine have changed a few times. There’s nothing wrong with it.”
“You are incredibly wise for being such a train wreck,” he said, chuckling after a minute.
I couldn’t stop myself from snorting, trying to hold back a laugh. I lost in the end, laughing with him. I was a fucking train wreck when it came to a lot of things.
“Thanks,” I eventually got out as my laughter died. “I’m a mess, I know. A literal disaster walking.”
“Yeah, but you’re a beautiful disaster, so I guess you can have a pass,” he teased.
“You think I’m beautiful?” I needed a minute to process the words, but once I did, I couldn’t bring myself to just be quiet. The taste of his arousal on the air in my kitchen came back with a vengeance at the very slim chance; maybe I had been the reason for it.
Calm down, biology. That’s not fair.
“Who doesn’t?” Raphael countered. “Cassius obviously does because he used to be with you. Sorcha was hitting on you hard, inviting both of us to join them.” He must have seen something on my face because I saw a light blush begin to tint his cheeks. “Yeah, Kaliya, you’re stunning. It was one of the first things I noticed about you when we met. A guy with eyes doesn’t miss a woman with a body like yours, and I know I called you an old lady a couple of times, but the white hair works on you. It doesn’t make you look old, it makes you look more fucking gorgeous than I think you’re allowed to.”
“You know how to make a girl confident in herself,” I said, looking back at the road, knowing it should have stayed my focus. We were on the edge of the storm now, which made driving a lot less precarious. I was getting overconfident on the road. “If we’re going down this route to kill time on this drive, do you want to tell me why your girlfriends used to call you Dom?”
“My middle name is Dominic,” he said, that blush growing.
“Hmm.” I wiggled my eyebrows, glad to have turned it around on him again. “Is that the only reason? Because a nickname like Dom when it comes to women…”
“Let’s say I had a reputation,” he finally admitted. “Not that I’ve gotten laid in years, so it’s not a big deal. It’s not like I’m a ladies’ man anymore or anything.”
“What kind of reputation did you have?” I liked having him in the hot seat, and the whole Dom thing had stuck out to me when Paden told me about him. I was too curious for my own good. My fangs had dropped the moment he called me beautiful, and I was trying to dive into the deep end.
“Not a good one. What about you? I know about Cassius, and you drunk hit on me. Does alcohol always…uh…” He couldn’t finish, but I knew what he was trying to ask teasingly. Did alcohol always make me horny? It was pretty common. He didn’t know I normally drank a lot whenever I planned on having sex.
“I have a bad history with alcohol and sex,” I finally said, my fleeting good mood slipping away. “I’m still sorry about that.”
“I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. When I was younger, I would have said yes, but…I want my first time in a decade to be sober.”
“You didn’t.” He never had explicitly turned me down, just stared at me in confusion as I realized he wasn’t going to take the offer.
Have I ever had sex sober? Even with Cassius?
Sex and I had a difficult history. It started when I was trying to sneak into a really seedy black market, not the well-known fae-run Market but a little alley in some Chinese city where I knew people were selling things they shouldn’t have been. I was seventeen and tried to flirt my way into information, tried to use my body to get what I wanted.
I lost my virginity to a guy who called my bluff, drugged me, and sold me to his friends by the hour for two weeks until he decided I was too used. Then he sold me at auction. I spent the next six months tied down or drugged out of my mind, kept in the back room of some guy’s mansion in the countryside. Hisao found me while he was there for other reasons, killing the guy who bought me for his own purposes. When I met the assassin, I actually asked him to kill me. He didn’t, instead taking me out of there to his home in Japan. The first year I spent with Hisao was just recovering.
It had been another thirty years before I let someone see me naked sexually. I remembered getting incredibly drunk because the idea of sleeping with the guy was so tempting but impossible. I had frozen up. Five drinks later, I had loosened up enough to go through with it. The sex had been decent, and I didn’t cry or puke the next morning. I wasn’t covered in bruises, which had been a major positive.
My hands tightened on the wheel as I remembered how Paden told me to seduce Raphael to get his trust. The thought, even now, made me sick to my stomach.
“Are you okay?” Raphael asked softly. I blinked as I felt one of his large warm hands touch my shoulder.
“I’m fine. Just got lost in thought.”
“You looked like you were about to be sick.” The concern in his voice was touching. “Do we need to stop?”
“Nope.”
“Kaliya—”
“You aren’t the only person who’s lived through some bad shit,” I finally hissed. “And…yeah, the conversation…Sorry, you’re not…I’m not angry with you.” I shook my head, unable to continue.
“Shit…I had no idea…” I felt him retreat. He was a smart man. He could put two plus two together. The awkward silence that followed was weighted with painful implications. Part of me felt like I owed him just a little more, but deciding what to say was hard.
“I made mistakes and paid for them. Hisao got me out, and for that, I’ll never be able to repay him. Let’s just…focus on the prison,” I finally whispered, looking ahead and keeping my eyes there, trying to ignore the taste of bile in the back of my throat. It had been a long time since I had such a reaction to my old traumas, but it didn’t surprise me. They liked to raise their ugly heads whenever I was least expecting them to.
An hour later, I was feeling better, and it was perfect timing.
“We’re here,” I announced, speeding through the barrier. It didn’t bother either of us this time, and there was no one waiting. The security system was going to need repair in the coming weeks. Thinking about the current problem again was enough to focus me as I parked. When I got out of the BMW, I saw Korey was already waiting at the prison’s entrance.
She straightened as Raphael and I walked closer. I could see she was riding the edge of a Change, her eyes not a human brown but a light brown that seemed to glow. Her wolf eyes were watching me carefully.
“Executioner, as I told the Tribunal, we have everything under control here and can perform our own—”
“You’ll tell me what I want to fucking know, or I’ll give the pack here their third Alpha in twenty-four hours,” I snapped.
16
Chapter Sixteen
The way her face paled told me my hostility hit home. I was agitated because I wasn’t feeling well. I could have written it off as stress, but in reality, thinking of my past and my problems had put me in a worse mood than was really called for. Luckily, I
could use it as a weapon.
“Excuse me, but—”
“No buts this morning, Korey. I did as you asked. I left the prison to get word out to the Tribunal about the breakout. A defensive plan has been enacted. I’ve been asked to gather information for whichever Investigator they choose to pursue this issue. I’m their eyes and ears right now. I’m also going to be out killing later in the day once they find Levi and whoever else may decide to cause mayhem in my region. This is a shit show, and you’ll bow your fucking head to the power you serve. Let me do my job, and you might get to keep yours for longer than a day.” I didn’t have the time or patience for stonewalling. Knowing my luck, Eliphas was probably arguing with the Tribunal at this exact moment, saying my visit was unnecessary. The prison liked to run itself with little oversight other than occasional reviews.
I was about to get all up in their shit.
“Fine. Come inside, and I’ll get our records and whatever else you want,” the wolf finally acquiesced.
I let her go in, waiting a moment to finally look at Raphael.
“Don’t trust anyone,” I whispered.
“Do you really think it was an inside job?”
“You don’t?” I raised my eyebrows, surprised he hadn’t already considered it. I had assumed it was since the moment it happened. “They don’t allow visitors here, and anyone working from the outside would have been noticed coming in the magical barrier, if not stopped by it. It had to be someone on the inside.”
He nodded before he stepped ahead of me, grabbed the door, held it open, then stepped in behind me. We practically marched through the torn-up prison. There were scorch marks on the walls in some areas, blood splattered on others.
“It must have got worse after we got out,” he mumbled.
“Yeah…” A lot worse, by the look of things. The fighting had gotten further inside after we had left. I was curious if the bloodstains were mostly inmates or guards. Did the guards come out the clear winner, or did they barely survive the night? “I’m not sorry we left to get the word out, but damn, I feel for whoever was left fighting here.”
“Agreed.” Raphael was glued to my side, and I couldn’t help but notice how he had a hand hovering over my lower back as if he was about to catch me or something. It was an old school move. His body was angled, and he could reach over me to get a door Korey obviously tried to slam in my face. It left his chest to me as I walked through behind the angry new Alpha.
On the other side of this last door, Eliphas waited, a bandage over his eyes but otherwise healthy-looking. There was another witch, a woman standing behind him, holding a phone with a look of disgust.
“I can’t believe they think we can’t handle this,” the witch muttered, her eyes falling on me.
“Well, obviously…” I lifted both my hands and gave her a look, hoping she understood what I was saying without needing me to put her in her place. “Look, I’m here because this is out of control. Any internal investigation you run won’t be as fast, and you know everyone and have biases. I don’t. I dislike everyone equally. For the most part. In the end, I just need to know how this happened, and you’re going to help me. The sooner we know how this happened, the sooner we can make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“Why don’t you go out and do your actual job?” the witch snapped angrily. “You’re an Executioner. Go out there, fucking kill the escapees, and leave us—”
“Stop,” Eliphas said quietly. “We don’t have time to argue with Kaliya. She’s backed by the Tribunal. I’m sure she knows what her duties are.”
I smiled, and even though he couldn’t see me, he smiled back.
“Thank you,” I said to the rough-looking witch in charge. “So, let’s get started. Was there anything happening in the prison I need to know about? Before the breakout or during?”
“No,” Korey said immediately. “We were following every procedure to the letter, and there was nothing unusual going on yesterday.”
I looked at her again, seeing she had found a seat and was comfortable. She seemed more upset at my presence than she was about anything else.
“Okay, I’ll accept that for now, but when I ask again later, don’t try to lie to me again.” I looked at my roommate and sighed. “Let’s go talk to someone else. The guards and inmates still alive will probably be more willing to talk than the leaders hoping to save their reputations.”
“Excuse me, bitch—”
My fangs dropped at the sound of her growling words. My hand was on the hilt of my sword as the chair fell from her sudden movement. She took a step, and it was free, the sharp tip of the steel against her chest.
“I’m an animal, too, faster and deadlier,” I whispered. “Don’t play with me. Something here is fishy. Something was going on. Now, you can keep your secrets, but they won’t stay secret for long. I love a good mystery and fully intend to discover every little thing that’s been hidden. Answers are needed, and I’ll be damned if the new Alpha, needing to prove herself, stops me from getting those fucking answers.” I pushed the sword slightly, letting it dig into the werewolf’s Kevlar vest. “Remember what I said at the door, werewolf.”
Eliphas stood up slowly and waved a hand. Korey stepped back out of my range. When she and I were distanced, the witch looked at me.
“Ask all the questions you want, Kaliya. I have no secrets, and if there are secrets being kept by my fellow Wardens, it’s high time they come to light.”
“Thank you,” I said, nodding respectfully at the witch. He nodded back.
I walked out with Raphael, knowing where I was going. Remembering the escape, I wondered how I got so turned around. Thinking back, I realized it had been Erline. If it hadn’t been for her, Raphael and I would have got out much faster. She always did freak me out.
She’s dead now. She won’t be creeping around the halls or scaring me half to death anymore.
I went to the guards first, deciding to check the infirmary. They all looked up as I entered, some distrustful, others strangely relieved. There were fae in the room, looking confused, probably hoping for their Warden to come back, but as far as I knew, the fae leadership was still unaccounted for other than what Hasan knew.
“Hey, everyone,” I said loudly, finding an empty chair and dragging it to the middle of the room. Raphael stood at my back as I sat, an imposing force to back me up. We were probably quite the sight. At this point, I knew none of them believed he was human, if they had to begin with, like Nakul. I didn’t know how in the know these guards were, but he had been on full display during the breakout. Even now, I could smell the hint of his other side, meaning his eyes were probably black now.
“Executioner Sahni,” one greeted, stepping forward. A fae, but I didn’t hold it against him. “If there’s anything you need, please let me know.”
“I just want to talk,” I said calmly, not taking any of my anger out on them as I had with Korey. She was a leader and knew better than to give me any attitude, but these guys were grunts. They followed orders and did their jobs. Unless I had definitive proof one or more of them had been involved with the breakout, I was going to treat them with respect and care.
“Has anything strange been going on here in the prison? Was there any reason to believe this breakout was coming?”
Many shook their heads. Others were silent, but I chalked it up to intimidation. I knew I was a small fry compared to my bosses, but with civilians and lower-ranking people, I was way up on the totem pole. I only answered to the big guys and knew them by name. These grunts probably had never even seen many of the Tribunal members.
“So, this came out of nowhere for you, too?” I smirked. “Yeah, it’s been a shit show, hasn’t it? Do any of you have any solid numbers on the inmates?”
“About a quarter of the southern cellblock inmates escaped. A third of the inmates died in the explosion. The rest we recaptured,” said the one closest, who had stepped forward initially.
“I didn’t get your name,” I
said, looking at him. I checked his uniform as I pointed that out, seeing his humanized clan name. “Ó Ceallaigh? Irish fae, huh?”
“You can call me Cael. Everyone here does.” He tried for a smile, but I saw it falter. He was nervous as hell.
“Cael. Reminds me of Cassius for some reason.” I sighed. “You ever met him?”
“I’ve never met the Prince, no,” he said quickly, shaking his head.
The Prince. I honestly forgot that most of them still considered him that. By fae law, he’s just another noble now.
“You might like him,” I said, a little put off that my attempt at small talk wasn’t working. “Well, Cael, thank you for the information. What do you know about the northern cell block?”
“Two were killed in the explosion,” someone said from a bed. “Two were found dead later…um...Erline and Dunter.”
“Yeah, I know about those. Is everyone else unaccounted for?”
“Yes, ma’am,” the guard in the bed said, nodding. I could tell he was a werewolf from across the room. He was a lot more talkative than his new Alpha. Hopefully, that didn’t fuck him in terms of the pack. “We can’t find Wesley either.”
“Ah…” I sighed. I knew the Tribunal would have told Korey what was going on with Wesley. If she hadn’t passed it down yet, I wasn’t going to. I didn’t want to give any of the werewolves hope Wesley might be taken alive when he could be killed. The Phoenix pack were going to try and capture him but there were no guarantees. I’d never met a werewolf who didn’t root for him. Letting them stay in the dark on the situation was for the best.
There was a resounding quiet after that, a quiet that seemed oppressive and overwhelming. I knew some of them had answers or clues I wanted. There was no way everyone was so confused by what happened. Unless the ones who knew had died, which I found unlikely. I looked around, seeing some were unable to meet my eyes while some stared me down.
They don’t want to talk in front of each other. I’ll work the inmates until some of these guys feel like they can talk to me.