by Laura Martin
‘Would you like me to accompany you?’
‘No,’ he said just a little too quickly. ‘It’ll be tedious business. Mainly meetings with my solicitor to sort out the details of the will. And it will be unbearably hot in London in this weather. You’ll be more comfortable here in Kent.’
‘I really don’t mind.’
He leaned across and kissed her lightly on the forehead. ‘It’ll be two weeks, no more. You use that time to become accustomed to being the mistress of Five Oaks. I’ll be back before you know it.’
She didn’t argue any more, pushing away her uneasiness and instead lacing her fingers through Leo’s. It wouldn’t do to moan or beg, instead she would do better to remind him what there was between them.
‘Can we return home, or do you have any other duties here?’
‘No, all the mourners have left. I’ve thanked the vicar and the carriage is waiting at the front of the church.’
Arm in arm they returned to the carriage and Leo gave the instructions to take them home.
* * *
‘Everything is packed, my lord,’ Michaels said, picking up the trunk ready to take it from the room and store it for Leo’s departure in the morning.
‘Thank you, Michaels.’
‘Is there anything else you need this evening?’
‘No. Get some rest, Michaels. We’ve got an early start in the morning.’
Leo knew he should follow his own advice and retire to bed. The journey to London would take much of the day and he would need to be fresh for dealing with the solicitors he had arranged to meet in the late afternoon. Still, he felt restless, unsettled. He was acutely aware that Annabelle was just down the hall, probably with her nose in a book reading about crop rotations or Spanish royalty or the life cycle of a frog.
He desperately wanted to go to her, to fall into bed beside her and lose himself in her body. Then after they would lie side by side and talk until the small hours of the morning and all would seem right with the world.
Decisively he stood—one night in his wife’s bed wouldn’t do any harm. Tomorrow he would still be going to London, he would still have space to consider what he wanted from their marriage. He would have time to order his thoughts, to work out how he felt about Annabelle and whether he could allow her to infiltrate his heart as he had a suspicion she would if they spent much more time together.
The upstairs hallway was dark, but he didn’t bother taking a candle, instead trailing his fingertips along the walls and counting the doors until he came to Annabelle’s bedroom. Again he felt guilty for not moving her to the room that adjoined his. Perhaps after he returned from London he would broach the subject of her moving. It would certainly make nocturnal trips like this easier.
He paused just as he raised his knuckles to tap against the door. He had promised himself to stay away, to keep his distance until he had properly decided what sort of marriage theirs was going to be. It was unfair to Annabelle to tell her one thing and then not stick to it. Silently, knowing he was going to curse himself as soon as he got back to his bedroom, he dropped his fist from the door and turned to walk back along the corridor.
‘Leo.’ Annabelle opened the door and peered out.
‘I just wanted to say goodbye. You might not be awake in the morning when I leave. I’m planning on an early start.’
She opened the door wider and even in the darkness he saw the vulnerability in her face as she looked up at him.
Without saying a word she held out a hand and waited patiently for him to take it. He couldn’t resist for long, slipping his fingers between hers and allowing her to draw him into her room.
‘I don’t want you to leave without saying goodbye tomorrow,’ she said quietly. ‘I will miss you.’ The statement should sound needy, the last thing he had wanted in a wife, but Leo realised that even though it was his own idea to go he was going to miss Annabelle, too.
‘I will miss you, too.’
He could tell she wanted to say more, perhaps to ask him if he really needed to go or to request again that he let her join him, but she held back, instead drawing him over to her bed. For a long time they just lay in one another’s arms, Annabelle trailing her fingers over his back and him kissing her forehead, her cheeks, anywhere he could reach. It felt intimate, a shift even from the languid lovemaking on their honeymoon to something deeper, but at the same time comfortable. When Annabelle moved a little and kissed him deeply he couldn’t help but grin and the smile remained on his face long after their bodies were sated and they were lying pressed against one another again.
Chapter Twenty-One
Dear Beth,
Is there anywhere in the world where matricide is legal?
‘Really, Annabelle, you need to take more care over your appearance. I know nothing can be done about your face, but you’re getting chubby. And a short woman cannot afford to get chubby.’
Annabelle gritted her teeth and counted to ten before giving her mother a serene smile. This had to be one of the worst weeks of her life. Not only had Leo been gone for three weeks with nothing more than a brief note to explain his extended absence, but her mother had turned up unannounced four days ago and showed no sign of ever leaving.
‘Shall we go for a walk, Mother?’ Annabelle suggested. Anything to get out of the stifling drawing room where the only activity on offer seemed to be listening to her mother criticise her.
‘I suppose a turn about the grounds would be agreeable. Not that the grounds here are very extensive.’
Standing abruptly, Annabelle bit back the reply that she was perfectly happy with the grounds at Five Oaks. Her mother had made it abundantly clear that she was not impressed with the house, the grounds, the room that had been assigned to her, the servants, the food and, probably most importantly, Annabelle. These opinions had been voiced over and over again since she had arrived.
‘I wonder when you will move to Willow House. That is a much more suitable property for a viscount.’
‘I don’t know, Mother.’
‘You should write to your husband and tell him you plan to organise the moving of your household.’
‘Leo will return to Kent soon. There is no need to rush any decisions before he gets home.’
‘Has he said he is returning?’
Annabelle walked over to the window and looked out at the garden. In the three weeks he’d been gone Leo had sent her two letters. The first had been short and to the point, letting her know he had reached London safely and planned to stay for a week while his solicitor sorted the finer details of the late Lord Abbingdon’s will out.
The second letter had come a week later. This had been even shorter, with no endearments or sign he thought of her as anything more than a glorified housekeeper. He told her he was staying on for another couple of weeks and he would write to let her know when he was coming back.
Since then there had only been silence. No letters, no messages, nothing. Each day Annabelle watched out for a rider, for some sign that her husband hadn’t forgotten her completely the moment he set foot in London, but nothing had come. She felt stupid for feeling so lonely, so abandoned.
‘Not yet, but he will,’ she said with more conviction than she felt.
‘I will move in with you.’
Annabelle just about managed to stop herself from shouting a deafening no to her mother and instead turned and smiled sweetly.
‘You know I miss you, Mother,’ she said in her most placating voice, ‘but my husband has just lost his great-uncle. This is not the time to make additional changes to our lives.’
‘Nonsense. He isn’t here and I doubt he’s planning on returning any time soon. This is what he wanted, isn’t it? A life for him in London and you in the country.’
Her mother’s words struck a nerve and Annabelle realised this was what she was worrying about. A few weeks ago
they’d spent a blissful few days in Dorset. They’d grown close, become lovers, but it had only been a few days. Leo had planned the details of their marriage for much longer than that. What if this trip to London was to allow him to regain some of that emotional distance between them?
Annabelle forced the idea from her mind. His great-uncle had just died, he had a lot to sort out with his inheritance, that was all.
‘Even so, perhaps we can discuss it in a few months.’
‘Meanwhile I’m left to rot in that ridiculous cottage in Eastbourne.’
Annabelle stayed quiet, knowing it was better not to argue with her mother and just allow her to rant when she was in one of these moods.
‘It’s demeaning for a woman of my status to be forced to live in something you wouldn’t force your housekeeper to reside in. I haven’t been able to face my friends for weeks—what would they say knowing my daughter has left me in a place like that?’
‘I’m sure your friends would be very understanding.’
‘Nonsense. They would be appalled. Your husband has just come into how many properties? And I’m left in a pauper’s cottage.’
Wondering where the furthest of Leo’s new properties were, she didn’t even feel her usual guilt at wanting to push her mother as far away as possible.
‘I think I need to go and lie down, Mother. I’ve got the start of a headache coming on. Perhaps when Leo has returned from London we can visit you in Eastbourne and discuss your accommodation then.’
‘You need exercise, Annabelle, not to lounge around doing nothing.’
Annabelle pretended she hadn’t heard her mother and hurried from the room, feeling a roil of nausea as she fled up the stairs. In her bedroom she smiled wryly to herself. A married woman and she was still hiding behind her bedroom door to escape her mother.
Flopping back on the bed, she thought of the last night she and Leo had spent here together, lying in one another’s arms. When they were close, when they were touching, it was as if the barriers Leo’s mind put up to stop them from being together were easy to overcome. The physical distance between them meant he wasn’t remembering each day how much better things were when they were together.
‘We’re better together,’ Annabelle murmured. She knew it was true. For a few wonderful days in Dorset she had felt truly happy, a happiness she had never thought she deserved, but Leo had given it to her anyway. It was addictive and now she was craving that same feeling again and again.
She knew Leo had felt it, too, seen how his step was lighter, his lips quicker to smile, his demeanour happier. If he allowed it, they could enrich each other’s lives.
‘I need to go to London,’ she said to herself. The idea filled her with dread. She’d only visited London once before in her life, for Beth’s wedding and then to wave her sister off at the docks. Everything had been arranged by Beth, the transport, the accommodation, and Annabelle had barely stepped out on to a street, instead being whisked everywhere in her own private carriage.
She also felt apprehensive about Leo’s reaction. She would be impinging on his world, a world she hadn’t been invited into. By turning up unannounced she would be putting him on the spot and he might not want to share this other part of himself with her.
With a stronger resolve than she had ever felt before she shook her head. She would go to London. She would remind Leo what they could have together. She would fight for the life she wanted for herself.
Knowing if she delayed too long the doubts would start to creep in, she rang the bell and waited for Kitty to appear.
‘I am going to London, to join Mr Ash... Lord Abbingdon,’ she corrected herself, still not used to her husband’s new title.
‘Yes, my lady,’ Kitty said, unruffled by Annabelle’s sudden announcement. ‘When do you plan to leave?’
‘Today. This afternoon.’
‘Shall I start packing for you, my lady? How long do you plan to stay?’
Annabelle hesitated. It would depend on her reception. There was a chance Leo might catch sight of her and send her back home straight away. He wouldn’t be cruel in his manner, but he would gently remind her that her place was in Kent. She felt her cheeks begin to flush at the prospect and had to tell herself it was only her suppositions. Equally he might welcome her with open arms and berate himself for staying away for so long.
‘A week.’
‘Will you need just your mourning clothes, my lady?’
‘Pack my two black mourning dresses and the lilac one, too.’
Kitty bustled out, ready to pack Annabelle’s trunk.
‘Can you let the grooms know to ready the carriage?’
‘Of course, my lady.’ Kitty hesitated, ‘What about your mother?’
Annabelle couldn’t hide the grimace. She would have to speak to her mother and send her back to Sussex, even though it would not be a pleasant task. If she didn’t expressly tell her mother to leave, Lady Hummingford would still be in residence when she returned and Annabelle didn’t want that. She hoped to be coming home with her husband and they would want privacy when they returned, but Annabelle was also aware she might be returning home upset and she didn’t want her mother seeing that either.
With a few deep breaths she balled up her courage and then hurried back downstairs to see her mother.
Lady Hummingford had the glass door of one of the display cabinets open and was inspecting a miniature statue, picking it up and running her fingers over it in a predatory fashion.
‘Mother.’ Annabelle smiled, trying to forget her earlier irritation with Lady Hummingford.
‘Good, you’re back up.’ Lady Hummingford replaced the statue without comment, seemingly unabashed to have been caught so openly inspecting it.
‘I have received a letter from my husband,’ Annabelle fibbed. ‘He has asked me to join him in London.’
‘When?’
‘I will leave today.’
‘No, when did you receive the letter? I didn’t see a rider.’
‘Oh, earlier. It was placed in my room so I have only just opened it.’
Lady Hummingford eyed her suspiciously.
‘You can’t go to London.’
‘Why not?’
Her mother gestured at her face. ‘Your scars. You stay inside.’
Annabelle felt the pain and hurt from the last few years begin to bubble to the surface.
‘Not any more,’ she said firmly. ‘Leo has been encouraging me to get out and socialise a little more.’
‘Ridiculous. They will laugh at you in London, Annabelle. They will stare and laugh and talk about you behind your back.’
‘They might,’ Annabelle said slowly, ‘But I cannot stop them from doing that. I can control how I react to them.’
‘You’re being stupid.’
‘I’m not stupid, Mother.’
‘Has Lord Abbingdon really asked you to go? I can’t see he would want to show his new wife off at the dinner parties and balls of London.’
‘He’s in mourning, Mother. We would hardly be attending balls.’
‘Even so, he will be embarrassed by you.’
Annabelle felt the familiar niggle of doubt. Somehow her mother always managed to get inside her head, managed to make her doubt herself even when five minutes ago her resolve had been absolute.
Drawing herself up, Annabelle reminded herself of Leo’s words, of the way he had looked at her, of his desire to show her she was not worthless, not something to be ashamed of.
‘Leo is not embarrassed by me. You are the only person who is ashamed of me and over the years I have allowed you to make me feel inferior, to make me feel as though I am worth less than everyone else. I may have these scars, Mother, but they do not make me any less of a person.’ She exhaled and then pushed off before she could regret any of her words. ‘I think it best you lea
ve. Leo and I will not want you here when we return.’
She left her mother with an open mouth, speechless, hurrying out before Lady Hummingford could recover enough to reply.
Annabelle felt sick. She loved her mother, despite the years Lady Hummingford had kept her hidden away, despite the fact the older woman had made her feel ashamed of her appearance. There had been good times, happy memories, and she didn’t want to push away her mother entirely, but she did need to make sure Lady Hummingford understood Annabelle had her own life now and would not be controlled by her mother or her fears any longer.
Quickly she hurried back upstairs, hoping she wouldn’t have to see her mother again before leaving. Kitty was almost finished with the trunk and as she closed the lid Mrs Barnes knocked lightly on the door.
‘I understand you’re going to London, my lady,’ Mrs Barnes said with a soft smile. ‘What a lovely idea.’
‘Yes, I know Mr Ashburton—I mean, Lord Abbingdon wasn’t planning on being away so long so thought I would surprise him.’
‘I have packed you lunch and the grooms know which inn Lord Abbingdon normally stops at when he travels to London. I am sure they can secure you a room. Will you want to take Kitty with you?’
‘Yes, if that is acceptable to you, Kitty?’
‘Of course, my lady.’
‘Good. Will you want to leave immediately?’
‘Yes. My mother will be departing today as well.’
‘Very good.’ Annabelle thought she saw the relief in the housekeeper’s eyes and suppressed a smile. At least it wasn’t just she who found Lady Hummingford wearing.
Quickly she gathered a few personal belongings and a couple of books to keep her entertained on the journey, her hand hovering over the bonnet with a veil attached before resolutely pushing it away. This was her new start, her chance to show Leo she could be a part of his world, wherever that was and whatever she had to do.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dear Josh,