by Laura Martin
‘What would you like to do today?’ Leo guided her through the decorative gates at the entrance to the park and they strolled at a sedate pace under the shade of the trees. ‘It is going to be unbearably hot, so I suggest we avoid the main shopping streets or any activity that requires much exertion. Although...’ He looked at her and gave her a salacious wink more suited to a sailor than a viscount.
‘We can’t do that all day.’ Annabelle laughed.
‘Is that a challenge?’
‘I would love to go for a ride, although again perhaps that is better saved for a cooler day.’
‘This is why everyone flees London in the summer. It is unbearable and the parks are very nice, but there is only so much time you can spend strolling in the shade.’
‘I really do not mind what we do, I’m happy just to be here with you. Do you have business to see to today?’
‘There are a couple of things I need to finalise with the solicitors, but most does not require my presence in London. Anything that needs a signature can be sent to Kent. Do you want to return to Five Oaks?’
‘I have no wish to rush you. I’m happy to be with you here or in Kent, whatever is easiest.’
‘I tire of London at the best of times. Let us plan to leave tomorrow. I cannot see this hot weather breaking any time soon and I would much rather be in the country where we can take a dip in the lake or find shade in the woods.’
‘That sounds wonderful.’
Annabelle felt content. She had risked pushing Leo away by coming to London if he had truly wanted them to keep their lives separate, but it had been a gamble worth taking. Now they felt like a proper married couple, discussing their plans and deciding on where they wanted to be together.
As they reached one of the main paths they started to encounter more people out for an early afternoon stroll. Annabelle toyed with the edge of her bonnet, wishing she could pull it forward so it would shade her face completely.
Gently Leo took her hand and pressed it back to her side. ‘You don’t need to hide.’
‘People will look at me.’
‘Yes, they will and as my wife they will look at you more than they would if you had stayed an unmarried woman in Eastbourne. You will be in more social situations, under more scrutiny.’ He paused as he regarded her. ‘If you want them to, they will get used to it.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘The first time you meet people they will look and afterwards they will talk. Perhaps even the second or third time, but after that it will cease to be the focus of people’s conversation. They will find more interesting things to gossip about. Especially if you do not show them you care what they think. Society will accept you, if that is what you want.’
Annabelle was stunned into silence, unable to utter a single word. She had lived for so long on the peripheries, always hearing about dances and dinner parties second-hand, always being told it was not her place to expect anything out of life, and here was Leo saying none of that was true. She could see the logic behind his words, she wasn’t so self-centred to think that people’s worlds would revolve around her looks indefinitely. Of course people would talk when they first laid eyes on Leo’s scarred and reclusive wife, but he was right, even the most shocking became mundane on repeated exposure. The fifth or sixth time she was introduced to anyone it wouldn’t be that they didn’t see her scars, just that it wouldn’t register as something worth taking much note of at that stage.
Annabelle felt as if a chasm had opened up before her and she was afraid to take a step forward. For so long she had hidden at Birling View. At first it had been at her mother’s insistence, but as the years had passed she had become quite comfortable with avoiding the company of others. In the past few months she had ventured out more than she had ever imagined, mixed with more people than she had in the previous decade, but the idea of socialising properly, of accepting invitations to society events, felt overwhelming.
‘Let’s go back home,’ Leo said, seeming to sense her unease. ‘You don’t need to decide now about attending the social events. You don’t need to decide at all if you don’t wish to, I just wanted to show you that the option is there if you wish to consider it.’
Annabelle forced herself to lift her head as she walked through the park, aware of people’s eyes upon her, but steadfastly trying to ignore any curious stares. She was sure she was imagining people’s interest in her—most of the well-dressed men and women strolling through the park had better things to do than wonder about her, even if she was on the arm of a newly wealthy and influential man.
She tried to clear her head, to work out what she actually wanted. Inside she was screaming to persuade Leo back to the countryside where they could pick up on the idyllic life they had left behind in Dorset on their honeymoon, but she knew she couldn’t keep him cloistered in Kent for ever. Perhaps he was right, perhaps there was a way she could be his companion in town as well as the country.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Dear Josh,
When did you realise you were besotted with your wife?
‘Are you certain there is no other way?’ Leo ran a hand through his hair and looked down at the pile of papers in front of him.
‘Thoday is making the journey to London. He should arrive tomorrow or the day after. I know he is keen to speak to you.’
Leo knew he would have to stay. Thoday was the very capable man he had appointed two years ago to look after his great-uncle’s extensive estate in Cornwall. It was one of the most profitable and over the last couple of years the income from that estate had only grown. Thoday was industrious and innovative and had thus far solved all problems with the estate himself without having to bring anything to Leo. If the estate manager was spending a week travelling to London, it would be for a good reason. He owed it to the man to at least hear what was troubling him.
It ruined his plans. He’d been looking forward to returning to Five Oaks with Annabelle. She had mentioned redecorating a few of the rooms and they would have to make the decision whether they were going to stay in the smaller property or make Willow House, his great-uncle’s main residence, their home. He was actually excited to make these domestic decisions, to make plans for the future with his wife.
‘You’re besotted,’ he murmured to himself, but found he had a smile on his face. He felt happier with Annabelle by his side. The last few weeks had been grey and flat, and now suddenly with her back in his life he felt happy.
‘Pardon?’ Hayes, his solicitor, said, looking up from the stack of papers.
‘I’ll stay for a few more days to hear what Thoday says.’
‘Good, I will let you know if he contacts me first.’
Hayes stood and gave a formal little bow, then spun and left the room, carrying a huge stack of papers with him. The prim little man always seemed to be in a hurry, but Leo couldn’t fault his efficiency.
He waited until he heard the front door close behind the solicitor and then went to follow him out of the study, meaning to look for Annabelle and tell her they would have to spend a few more days in London. Of course she could go ahead to Kent and he would suggest it, but he was hoping she would decide to stay with him here for a few more days.
Before he could make it out of the study one of the maids knocked quietly on the door before entering.
‘There’s a Mrs Harrison to see you, my lord.’
‘Thank you, show her in.’
Mrs Phillipa Harrison, a striking woman in her mid-twenties, swept into the room and held her hand out for Leo to kiss. He bowed over it and then gestured for her to have a seat.
‘What can I do for you, Mrs Harrison?’ He forced a smile. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Mrs Harrison—he barely knew the woman. He vaguely remembered her being one of the most sought-after debutantes five or six years ago, creating a flurry of excitement in the ballrooms and at dinner
parties. She had married Mr John Harrison, not the sparkling match everyone had expected of her, but there had been no rumours of unhappiness or unfaithfulness since. What he couldn’t work out was why Mrs Harrison was sitting in his study, looking at him expectantly.
‘I’ve come to introduce myself to your wife, Lord Abbingdon.’
‘Ah.’
‘You may or may not know there is a small group of us who stay in London the whole year round, and although the social Season is still a few months away we like to get together for an afternoon ride in the park or an evening of cards.’
Leo waited for her to continue, but she seemed to expect something from him.
‘Oh?’
She was still looking at him expectantly, but eventually continued. ‘I saw you in the park earlier, walking with your wife.’
‘Yes.’
‘I thought Lady Abbingdon might like to join our small group one evening.’
‘That is very kind.’ Leo glanced at the window, wondering if he could decline on Annabelle’s behalf, but realised this was exactly what he had been urging her to do earlier in the day. To consider her options for socialising. Perhaps an intimate group like this one would be the perfect way to get her introduced to society. ‘When are you planning on meeting next?’
‘We are having a music recital at my house tomorrow evening. Just myself and four other ladies. Lady Abbingdon is most welcome to join us.’
He knew he shouldn’t accept plans for Annabelle, but he could see this as being the perfect way of boosting her confidence, to show her she could have a life with him here in London as well as in Kent.
‘I’m sure she would be delighted.’
‘Eight o’clock.’
Leo nodded, hesitating as Mrs Harrison stood to take her leave.
‘You may have heard, Mrs Harrison, that Lady Abbingdon sometimes wears a veil,’ he said, feeling as though he were somehow betraying Annabelle by mentioning it.
‘Oh?’
‘She has some scars on her face from childhood. She is a little sensitive about them. I know it is a lot to ask, but if you could have a word with the other ladies and just warn them, so they do not stare too much.’
Mrs Harrison smiled and touched his arm lightly. ‘Of course. I’m so looking forward to meeting her.’
Leo smiled back, wondering why he felt as though he’d just betrayed Annabelle.
* * *
Outside the window Annabelle stifled a sob. She had been sitting on the bench just to the left of the study window, enjoying a spot in the shade while she sipped on her lukewarm cup of tea. Her mother had always insisted a hot drink cooled you down in the heat of the summer and, although Annabelle wasn’t convinced, it had become a habit to drink tea even when the weather was sweltering.
She’d actually had her eyes closed and was close to drifting off, lulled by the low murmuring of voices between Leo and his solicitor in the study behind her. She could hear what was being said if she strained her ears, but mostly the words just wafted over her.
Once the solicitor had left Annabelle had begun to rouse herself, eager to go and see Leo now his business was done for the day. She’d stretched and shaken her limbs awake when she heard a new voice in the study, a woman’s voice.
Her intention had never been to eavesdrop, but she had been unable to pull herself away.
Warn the others not to stare—that was what he’d asked of Mrs Harrison when he’d accepted the invitation on Annabelle’s behalf. As if she were some freak in the sideshow at a circus.
She felt as though she couldn’t breathe, as if her chest were being squeezed by an unknown hand, tight and unrelenting. He’d always said he hardly noticed her scars, that they were not her defining feature. Annabelle half scoffed, half choked back the tears, wanting to bury her head in a soft pillow, crawl under the bedcovers and never come out.
‘Annabelle,’ she heard Leo calling her, no doubt wanting to tell her about the pity social invitation she had received. Poor Lord Abbingdon’s wife.
Somewhere deep down she knew she was being a little irrational, but the hurt was too much, too overwhelming. If she were anyone else, Leo wouldn’t feel the need to warn her dinner companions, to plead with them not to stare.
‘Annabelle.’
She couldn’t face him right now so hurried around the corner of the house, pressing herself against the wall. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks and for the first time since she’d married Leo she wished she was back at Birling View, locked in her sanctuary away from the cruelty of the world.
Leo moved away from the back door, but she knew he wouldn’t give up. The town house was large for London standards, but hardly a sprawling mansion. Once he’d checked the bedroom and the downstairs rooms it would be obvious she was avoiding him.
With great effort she composed herself. She didn’t want to confront him, all she wanted was to get as far away as possible as fast as possible. She wanted to go where she would see no one, where no one would have to be warned not to stare at her scars.
‘There you are,’ Leo said, the smile dropping from his face as she came in through the back door. ‘Whatever is the matter?’
‘Nothing,’ she said, trying to make her voice sound as bright as possible. ‘I think it is just the flowers making my eyes water. Sometimes they do in summer.’
‘Oh.’ He didn’t look convinced. ‘Mr Hayes has just informed me the estate manager from our Cornwall estate is on his way to London. I will have to remain in London a few days longer than planned to meet with him.’
‘Very well.’
‘I was hoping you would stay with me.’
‘No,’ Annabelle said a little sharper than intended. ‘I will go back to Kent as planned. I am going to tell Kitty to start packing now.’
‘Is something wrong, Annabelle?’
‘What would be wrong?’ She looked at him with a challenge in her eye.
‘I’ve got no idea, but you’re acting rather strangely.’
‘All I have said is I will return to Kent as we had planned. That’s hardly strange.’ Before he could question her any more she swept past him and hurried up the stairs, calling out for Kitty as she went and making sure she closed the bedroom door firmly behind her.
* * *
The rest of the day had dragged. She had claimed she had a headache and Leo had dutifully come and checked on her every hour. Each time she had pretended to be asleep and each time she had heard him pause by the door as if he didn’t quite believe her ruse. Lying in bed most of the afternoon meant she had slept poorly that night and the next morning she did wake with a headache.
‘You look pale,’ Leo said with concern as she shuffled away from him in bed in the morning.
‘I feel a little queasy,’ she said, this time not having to lie. ‘And my head still hurts.’
‘Stay,’ Leo said, reaching out for her. ‘Stay here and rest. My business will be finished in a few days, then we can travel back to Kent together.’
He looked so earnest, so honest, that she could almost convince herself she had misheard his words the day before. Warn the others so they do not stare too much. Silently she reminded herself of his words and the implication. That he did think her scars hideous, that they were all anyone would see when they looked at her.
‘No,’ she said sharply, pulling away further. ‘I’m going back to Kent.’
He tried once more to reach for her, but she pretended not to notice, standing and starting to rifle through the wardrobe as if choosing her dress for travelling.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Dear Beth,
I think I might have overreacted. I just find it so hard to think people are talking about my appearance when I wish sometimes I could just fade into the background.
Back at Five Oaks Annabelle felt restless and low. She tried going for a ride, but
couldn’t concentrate enough and found herself slipping once or twice in the saddle. Knowing the dangers of falling from a horse, she returned home, only to find herself wandering the house aimlessly again. Even reading held no great appeal for her. She was moping, feeling sorry for herself, and even though she knew she needed to shake herself up, she couldn’t summon the energy or will to do so.
Each night when she slipped into bed she would remember Leo’s arm snaking around her waist, pulling her to him, his lips on the back of her neck making her go wild with desire. She missed him and she wondered if she had been too quick to react. His words hadn’t been spoken out of malice, she could see he might argue he spoke to protect her, to prevent any of the ladies in Mrs Harrison’s social group from staring at her in a manner that would upset her. It still hurt, though. He had worked so hard to make her believe her scars were not her defining feature, but then still went behind her back to warn other people not to make a fuss.
She had resolved to talk to him about it when he returned, knowing that running away from London had been cowardly and unfair on Leo. He had hurt her, but she had abandoned him, and he deserved a chance to explain why he had said what he had.
* * *
Annabelle slept better the third night back at Five Oaks, more at peace with what had happened in London now she had decided she would discuss it with Leo. Hopefully he would return to Kent soon and they could find their way back to how they’d been on honeymoon.
She half expected Leo to stride through the door on her fourth day back in Kent. He had promised only a few more days in London, and with a day travelling added on she had hoped that he would make it back to her before the weekend. Late in the afternoon she heard the sound of hooves approaching the house and felt her pulse quicken in anticipation. Annabelle was in the hall when one of the footmen opened the door and felt her body sag when she realised it was only a messenger.
‘A letter for you, my lady.’