Seth walked slowly into the kitchen, with his hands buried deep in his pockets. “Maybe I should stay here, Mom.”
Billie knew he was worried about another conflict between Cat and herself. To be honest, she was too, and she didn’t want him around to witness it.
Billie motioned for Jen to take the girls out to the car. Cat followed while Billie held Seth back. She knelt down on one knee and took him by the arms. “Sweetie, I know you’re worried about Mama,” she said. “I won’t hurt her—I promise. I love Mama very much, and I swear to you I won’t hurt her, okay?”
“You promise?” he said.
“I promise.”
Seth hugged her.
She kissed him on the forehead. “Go on now. Have fun.”
Seth ran out the door just as Cat was coming back in. He stopped and hugged her as well before running out to the car.
Cat closed the kitchen door and leaned against it. Billie struggled back to her feet through the pain. Sweat broke out on her brow and upper lip from the effort. She pulled out a chair and sat down. Crossing her arms before her on the table, she rested her forehead on them.
Cat broke the silence. “You wanted to talk? Then talk.”
Cat’s annoyance with Billie rose as she took an interminable amount of time to respond. When Billie did raise her head from her arms, Cat was startled and concerned by the almost unrecognizable expression on her face. Billie’s eyes glazed over, and a sneer crossed her normally beautiful features.
She sat back in her chair and pushed another chair out with her foot. “Sit down, Cat.”
“No. No, I think I’m fine right here.” Cat continued to lean against the door with her arms crossed in front of her.
Too late, Cat realized her refusal to cooperate, most likely combined with the pain Billie was in, angered Billie beyond reason. She stood her ground as Billie rose to her feet and placed her hands on the table.
“I asked you to sit down. I won’t be so nice the next time. Now do it,” Billie said in a near growl.
Cat’s defiance matched Billie’s anger. “I don’t think so. You’re my wife, not my boss.”
Cat knew she was pushing the limits of Billie’s patience and half-expected her to explode. She was surprised when Billie’s brow creased and her face clouded over with confusion as she lowered herself back into her chair. Billie placed her elbows on the table and held her head between her hands.
“Please make it stop,” she said.
“Make what stop?”
“The ringing. It hurts.”
Cat resisted the urge to help as she watched Billie’s mannerisms from her position at the door. As quickly as Billie had succumbed to the pain, she appeared to shake off the confusion. She lifted her head from the table and turned venom-filled eyes toward Cat.
She slammed her fist down onto the table. “Damn you, Cat. Get your ass over here before you make me do something I’ll regret later.”
Billie was aghast by the words coming from her own mouth, but she was helpless to stop them. It was as though a demon controlled her words and actions.
Cat’s stubborn nature held. “Judging by those photographs, I’d say you’ve already done something you’ll regret later.”
Billie stood, grabbed her chair, and threw it across the room. She stomped close to Cat and stopped within inches of her face. Her hands were clenched in tight fists at her sides, and her face was a mask of anger and pain. She tried hard to calm the raging tide churning in her chest, but her anger took over. She placed both hands against the door on either side of Cat and trapped her there. “I promised my son I wouldn’t hurt you. Otherwise I’d—”
“Otherwise what? Does it make you feel good to threaten someone weaker than you, Billie? Or should I say, Brian?”
Billie reached forward as though to wrap her hands around Cat’s throat. She struggled to hold herself back. The veins in her neck bulged and threatened to burst. Her hands shook with controlled restraint.
She looked into Cat’s eyes and allowed all the pain and hatred she felt during her life with Brian to enter into them. She dropped her hands to her sides and walked a step away. A safer distance away. She lifted her right hand and pointed a finger in Cat’s face. “Don’t you ever call me Brian again. You have no idea what he’s capable of.”
Cat leaned against the kitchen door with her arms crossed in front of her. “Are you forgetting your ex-husband raped me? I’m well aware of what he’s capable of.”
“The rape was a walk in the park compared to what I lived through at the hands of that bastard. You don’t know the half of it.”
Cat pushed herself away from the door and took a step toward Billie. “How dare you minimize what he did to me?”
Billie narrowed her eyes and opened and closed her fists at her sides. “I’m not minimizing anything. You don’t know how deviant his mind is. I lived with it every day for years. I’ll say it again—you have no idea what he’s capable of.”
“Okay, I’ll bite. Just what is he capable of?”
Billie’s breathing was labored. Each breath sent waves of pain through her bruised ribs. She backed away a few more steps until she came in contact with the wall. She leaned against it for support, grabbed both sides of her head, and closed her eyes in an attempt to ease the confusion that threatened to take over once more.
She took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. “Do you want to see what he was capable of? Do you? Okay, you’ve got it.”
Billie grabbed Cat by the arm and dragged her to the table. She shoved her into a chair. “Don’t you dare move,” she said before leaving the room.
When Billie came back into the room, she was panting and holding her side from her painful run up the stairs and back. She tossed the photographs that started this whole mess on the table in front of Cat.
“That is what he’s capable of.” She pointed to the pictures.
Cat crossed her arms and held Billie’s gaze. “I don’t want to see them.”
“Right now, I don’t care what you want. You jumped to your own conclusions earlier because of these photographs. You assumed guilt before you even asked me about them. I deserve the right to defend myself, and you owe me the respect of listening with an open mind.”
“I know what I saw,” Cat said.
“No. You don’t know what you saw. You couldn’t possibly know what you saw. I lived it. Trust me. What you think you saw is not what’s really there. Now look at the pictures.”
“No.”
Billie grabbed a handful of Cat’s hair and forced her to look at the pictures. With her free hand, she spread them out before her.
“Look at them, Cat. Look closely.”
Billie noticed Cat had closed her eyes. She slammed her hand onto the table. “Damn it, Cat, open your eyes. You’re so convinced I’m guilty, yet you won’t give me a chance to defend myself. Now open your eyes or I’ll walk out that door right now and never come back! Please,” she added in a much softer voice. “I don’t want to leave. Please don’t force me to.”
At the soft tone of the plea, Cat opened her eyes. She saw every emotion Billie was capable of in the azure depths of her eyes. Cat knew she held their future in her hands at that very moment, and her next action would either begin to heal the wounds between them or tear Billie’s heart out. She took a deep breath and examined the pictures.
She stared at them for long moments, but her heart saw only hurt and betrayal. She covered her eyes with her hands for several moments to regain her composure before looking at them again.
Billie leaned down and whispered in Cat’s ear. “Both you and Art allowed your minds to see only the big picture. You allowed your first impression to let you see just what these pictures intended for you to see. Ignore the obvious. The truth is in the details.”
With shaky hands, Cat picked up two of the images and studied them for several moments. Suddenly, she saw things she hadn’t seen before. She reached out and picked up several more photos.
Cat looked at Billie, who had settled in an adjacent chair and now sat with her hands folded in front of her on the table.
“My God.” Cat laid the photos back on the table. “These pictures... How old are they?”
“They were taken when Seth was almost two, and before you ask, Brian took them.”
Cat rose to her feet and circled behind Billie. She lifted the back of Billie’s shirt, examined the whip marks given to her by the man in the bar, and compared them to the subtle shadows in the pictures. Cat bent down and kissed the marks on Billie’s back. She felt a shudder run through Billie before she lowered her shirt and sat again at the table.
Cat clasped her hands in front of her as remorse filled her. “Why did he beat you?” she whispered.
Billie picked up several of the photos. “I told him I wanted a divorce. He beat me and tied me to the bed while he went out and hired the prostitute in this picture. He forced me to pose for these photographs, threatening me with more beatings, and threatening to hurt Seth if I didn’t cooperate. In the end, when it was all over, he beat me again anyway.”
“Why? What did he think he would gain by photographing you like this?”
Billie shrugged. The pain in Billie’s eyes was tangible. “Back then, he used these pictures to control me. By threatening to show them to my parents, he managed to delay the divorce for another year. After my parents were killed, he lost his leverage. It’s pretty obvious these photos came from him, but after all this time, I don’t know what he hopes to gain. My parents are dead. He no longer has that to hold against me.”
Cat touched Billie’s hand. Billie instinctively recoiled. “I’m so sorry. I was wrong. I’ll never forgive myself,” Cat said before whispering, “What are we going to do?”
“We?”
Cat reached out again. This time she took Billie’s hand in her own and didn’t allow her to pull away. “We,” Cat said. Billie had lowered her gaze to the table.
Cat lifted Billie’s chin. “I feel like a total ass. I know now I overreacted. I’m so sorry. You have every right to be angry with me. I deserve whatever punishment you can think of, but please, don’t hate me. I’ve been a jealous fool. I wouldn’t have reacted that way if I didn’t love you.”
Billie opened her arms. Cat closed the distance between them as she slid onto Billie’s lap and pulled Billie’s head to her chest. She recited terms of endearment and apology over and over into Billie’s ear.
“I’m sorry too,” Billie said. “I shouldn’t have treated you that way. I don’t know what got into me. I was so angry. Please know I wouldn’t have harmed you.”
“I know. What do you think gave me the courage to stand up to you?”
“Talk about losing leverage.”
Cat cupped Billie’s face. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve known you’d never betray me. I’ll never doubt you again.” She raised her lips for a tender kiss.
Billie pulled her in closer and the kiss intensified. “God, Cat, I want to ravish you from head to toe.”
Cat pulled away from the caress. She traced Billie’s lips with her fingertips. “I don’t think so. You’re in no condition to make love to me right now.” Cat saw the distress on Billie’s face. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t hold you while you sleep.” She rose to her feet and helped Billie up. “Come with me,” she said and led Billie upstairs to their bedroom.
In their room, Cat sat Billie on the edge of the bed and removed her own clothing, being careful to stay just beyond Billie’s reach. “No, no,” she said. “If you can’t behave, you’ll have to nap alone.”
Billie sighed and clasped her hands in her lap.
Finally, Cat stepped into Billie’s embrace and kissed her. She lifted Billie’s shirt over her head, being careful not to disturb her ribs. After she dropped the garment to the floor, she encouraged Billie to lie on the bed and removed her shoes and shorts.
“Can you sit up while I take care of your injuries?” Cat asked.
“If a cute little redhead I know helps me, I think I can manage it.”
Several minutes later, Billie’s ribs were rewrapped and her wounds massaged with ointment. Cat helped her pull a clean T-shirt over her head and pushed her down under the covers. Cat stretched out beside her and draped her arm over Billie’s waist. “Close your eyes. Sleep will do you good. I’ll be here when you wake.”
After a time, Cat felt Billie relax. “Feel better?” she asked.
“Yes, but I still want you.”
“Right now you need to recover so you can take some of that animal prowess I witnessed downstairs and apply it to our lovemaking later,” Cat said with a wicked grin.
A wave of guilt crossed Billie’s face, and she turned away. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me. Part of me wanted to hurt you, and part of me tried so hard to control the anger. It was like I was standing outside of myself. It scared the shit out of me.”
Cat regretted the hurt she had caused with her careless comments. “Billie, baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Down deep I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt me. It was inconsiderate of me to mention it. Forgive me?”
Billie closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they shone brightly. “You’ve done nothing to apologize for. Please, let’s put it behind us.”
Chapter 7
Billie walked into the office on Monday morning, conscious of the stares and curious glances she received from her coworkers and office staff. Cat tried to talk her into taking vacation until the bruises faded, but her workload and the domestic abuse case she was working on wouldn’t allow it.
She sat at her desk and read the case file on Peggy McBride, age twenty-eight, married for four years to Roger McBride. One son, Travis, age three. Peggy had been hospitalized no less than three times in the past four years for internal injuries. Causes of injuries were listed as accidents: a fall down the cellar stairs, a skiing accident, and a fall from a tree while building a clubhouse for her son. In addition to her hospital stays, there were several visits to the emergency room for various broken bones and sprains.
Each injury was blamed on an accident or just plain clumsiness, until her three-year-old son Travis was hospitalized with broken ribs and head injuries. An astute nurse in the emergency room noticed a trend in Peggy’s file that the hospital reported to the police, and thirty-three-year-old Roger McBride was arrested on suspicion of spousal and child abuse. He was currently free on bail, but a restraining order required him to keep his distance from Peggy and Travis.
Billie read through the paperwork in the folder until she came across photographs of the victims’ most recent injuries. She stared at the eight-by-ten pictures and realized they could very well be pictures of Cat had she not controlled herself two days earlier. Her gut clenched into a tight knot as she replayed the scenes in her head: pinning Cat against the door, reaching for her throat, grabbing her arm, and forcing her into the kitchen chair. And what about Seth and Tara? Losing her temper and screaming at them was uncalled for. God, what was happening to her?
She crossed her arms on the desk and rested her forehead on them in an attempt to control the headache running rampant between her temples. The headaches seemed to be more frequent of late, and the intensity was beginning to worry her. She felt so out of control when they occurred. She made a mental note to schedule a physical.
Billie’s internal struggle was interrupted by the telephone.
“Hey, Billie,” Art said, “how are you this morning?”
“Better than I could have been. Thanks for the help Friday night.”
“I’m glad I was there. I shudder to think what might have happened if I wasn’t.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Billie, I want to talk to you about the McBride case. Can you come to my office?”
“Sure, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Okay. I’m running to the cafeteria for a coffee first. Can I pick one up for you?”
“Please. Large, black, and thanks,”
“Tall, strong, and black, just like me, huh?”
“Yeah, just like you, you moron.”
“See you in a bit.”
Billie hung up and smiled. She found herself thanking the heavens above for Art. He had grown to be a very close and trusted friend, and she could always count on him for help. She grabbed the McBride folder and headed to his office, with a stop at the restroom on the way.
Billie reached Art’s office at about the same time he did. He pushed the door open with his hip and allowed her to walk in ahead of him. He circled around the desk and placed her coffee in front of her.
She sat in a chair on the opposite side of the desk and reached for the coffee. “Thanks. I need the caffeine this morning.”
Art studied her while he sipped his coffee. “That guy sure did a number on you.”
Billie traced the bruises along her jawline. “Yeah, I guess he did.” Her hand shook as she lowered her coffee cup to the desk, spilling a small amount. “Sorry. I’m a little shaky today.”
“You know, you could have taken a few days off to let the bruises fade.”
“Cat encouraged me to do just that, but we’ve got a lot of work to do on the McBride case. It just didn’t feel right to take time off.”
“Speaking of Cat, how is she?”
Billie lowered her gaze to the desk. Moments passed in silence.
“Billie? You didn’t hurt her, did you?”
Billie felt her anger rise and struggled to keep it in check. She knew Art was concerned for both of them. “No, I didn’t hurt her, although I came close—too close for comfort.”
Art’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Billie grabbed the McBride file and found the photographs. She pulled them out of the folder and placed them on the desk in front of him. She pointed at the bruised face of Peggy McBride. “I came within a hair’s breadth of doing that to Cat this weekend.”
Art rose to his feet and placed his hands on the desk, leaning forward. “What happened?”
Billie stood and walked a few feet away. When she turned around, her bottom lip quivered with emotion. “Saturday morning, after Jen took the kids to the park, I forced Cat into a discussion about the pictures we received in the mail.” Billie started to pace. “She was being so damned stubborn. I had her pinned against the kitchen door, my hands almost wrapped around her neck. I… I don’t know what came over me. It’s like I was a different person. I wanted to beat the shit out of her.”
Unchained Memories Page 4