Unchained Memories

by Karen D. Badger

  Billie retracted her hand and crossed her arms in front of her. Cat sat back, startled. “I told you I’m not gay,” Billie said.

  Cat rubbed her temples with both hands. She was becoming more and more impatient with Billie’s attitude about their relationship. She thanked the stars above that Billie’s speech therapist chose that moment to walk into the room, saving her from having to deal with Billie’s comment.

  “I think I’ll get some fresh air during your therapy,” Cat said. She grabbed her sweater and headed out the door without waiting for Billie’s response. She hoped a walk in the cool evening air would give her the strength and renewal to deal with the children’s visit.

  The hospital grounds were beautiful. All around were well-manicured lawns, colorful arrays of flowers, and benches dotting the landscape. Being cooped up in the hospital almost nonstop for the past several days had been very tiring.

  She filled her lungs with fresh air and released it as she thought again about Billie. She promised herself, as soon as Billie was recovered, she would plan something special for her and for their family.

  Cat sat on the bench for almost an hour, enjoying the breeze, sunshine, and solitude of the day. She looked at her watch. The speech session would be ending soon, so she rose and stretched and headed back inside.

  She reached Billie’s room just as the therapist was leaving. Before she could step into the room, though, she spotted her family walking down the hall toward her. The kids saw her, and against all warnings from Doc, they took off running and almost knocked her over when they made contact. By the time Cat had the situation under control, Doc reached them, and they entered Billie’s room together.

  Seth and Tara held Cat’s hands, while Doc carried Skylar. As they walked into the room, Cat noticed the nervous expression on Billie’s face.

  “Mommy, how come you’re wearing that funny hat?” Skylar said.

  Billie laughed. Skylar wriggled out of Doc’s hold, slid to the floor, and climbed into Billie’s open arms. As Cat predicted, she curled up into Billie’s neck and kissed her on the cheek. “I missed you, Mommy.”

  Billie extended an arm out to the other two children. It didn’t take long for Seth and Tara to get onto the bed and into Billie’s arms.

  Cat stood by the door and watched Billie interact with the children, hoping she would see some sign of recognition. Skylar was curled up in Billie right arm, while Seth sat on her left, leaning against her. Tara straddled her thighs, facing her, hands flying out in all directions as she talked nonstop about the Nintendo game she was trying to master.

  “…and then I kicked him and he went flying and he jumped up and did a flip, but I super kicked him across the room… and… and then three more guys came out and I had to fight them too, and…” Tara almost whacked Seth across the head with one of her arms.

  Seeing Tara was becoming a little too animated, Cat approached the bed and took her by the shoulders. “Tara, honey, calm down. You almost clocked your brother across the head, and if you’re not careful, you’ll hit Mom too. Why don’t you get down for now.”

  “No, let her stay. She’s okay,” Billie said.

  “Are you sure?”

  Billie nodded and turned her attention back to the children while Cat sat in the chair next to the bed.

  “Mom, why do you talk funny?” Tara asked, earning a punch from Seth.

  “Hey, scout, none of that,” Billie said.

  Cat gasped at Billie’s use of Seth’s nickname.

  “As for your question, Tara, my brain has forgotten how to talk. I have to learn how again. That’s why I talk slow and sometimes stutter.”

  “Too bad your brain didn’t forget how to talk, Tara,” Seth said.

  “Mom, tell him to shut up,” Tara said.

  “Scout, come on now, be nice,” Billie scolded her son.

  Tara grinned as Seth was being reprimanded. She cocked her head at an angle. “Did they cut off all your hair?” she asked.

  “I think so. I haven’t seen it without the bandages. Maybe Mama knows. Cat?”

  “Oh yeah, it’s all gone. But it’ll grow back pretty fast,” Cat said.

  Seth leaned forward. “All of it?”

  “All of it,” Cat said. “Does that bother you, honey?”

  “A little. I kinda liked Mom’s long hair,” he said.

  “I was kind of partial to it myself,” Cat said. “But then, I think she’s beautiful, no matter how much hair she has.” She peeked over to see a blush rising up Billie’s neck.

  “Mommy’s bald,” Skylar said giggling.

  “You’d better watch it, pip-squeak, or I’ll have to tickle you.” Billie formed her left hand into a claw. Skylar squealed with delight while Cat sat by stunned at Billie’s familiarity with the children. I’ll bet she isn’t even aware of it.

  Knowing the threat would develop into a full-blown tickle war, Cat put a stop to it before someone got hurt. “Okay, you two, that’s enough.” She took Skylar out of Billie’s arms and rested her on her hip. Billie looked disappointed.

  “Hey, don’t you have something for Mom?” Cat asked them.

  “Oh yeah, I almost forgot.” Tara jumped off the bed and ran to the bag they had left by the door. Skylar squirmed her way out of Cat’s arms to join her.

  While his sisters were busy digging their prizes out of the bag, Seth climbed off the bed and walked around to the other side, slipping onto Cat’s lap. Cat wrapped her arms around him and kissed the side of his head as he leaned back into her. Her gaze met Billie’s, and she reveled in the interest Billie appeared to be taking in her interaction with Seth.

  Tara and Skylar walked side by side to the bed while trying to hide something behind their backs. “Close your eyes, Mom, and no peeking,” Tara said and Billie obeyed.

  The girls laid the pictures they had colored on her lap, like a treasure.

  “Okay, Mommy, you can look,” Skylar said.

  Billie uncovered her eyes and saw the pictures on her lap. Her eyes filled with tears, and she reached down and touched them with a shaky hand.

  “You don’t like them?” Tara asked.

  Billie looked at her daughters. Tara was standing ramrod straight at the edge of the bed, while Skylar was leaning forward, her upper body supported by her forearms on the bed. Both children’s eyes were wide with anticipation.

  Billie touched the side of Tara’s face. “Of course I like them. They’re beautiful. Thank you.” She opened her arms for the children to climb into. “I’ll ask Mama to hang them up for me on the wall. Okay?”

  While Billie thanked them, Cat whispered in Seth’s ear, “Don’t you have something for Mom?”

  “I wanna give it to her in private,” he said.

  Cat could see Billie was starting to tire. It had been a long and difficult day with therapy, and Billie needed to sleep to be fresh for the challenges that awaited her tomorrow. Cat rose to her feet and motioned for the girls to join her. “Come on, girls, Mom’s tired. Hugs and kisses, then we’ve got to get going, okay?”

  “Awww, Mama,” the girls said together, but they climbed off the bed to leave after depositing big, wet, sloppy kisses and lots of hugs on Billie.

  While the girls were saying their good-byes, Cat leaned in to Seth and whispered that he was to stay with Billie until she and the girls found Grandpa to take them home.

  Cat and the girls left Seth standing in the middle of the room, alone with Billie.

  “Seth, are you all right?” Billie asked.

  Seth pulled something out of his pocket and hid it in his fist. He approached her and stood by her bed. “I made something for you in Cub Scouts last night.” He opened his hand and extended it toward his mother.

  Billie began to cry when she saw his gift. She reached for the colorful beaded necklace and held it high in front of her. She closed her eyes and allowed tears to escape down her cheeks before looking at her son once more. “It’s beautiful. I love it. Thank you,” she managed to say, and opene
d her arms for a warm hug.

  After a moment, Billie released Seth and asked him to help her put the necklace on. He closed the clasp and stepped back. “It fits you real good,” he said.

  Billie was about to say something when a searing pain shot through her head. She cried out and grasped her head with both hands.

  Seth climbed onto the bed and grabbed Billie’s arm. “Mom! Are you all right?”

  Billie closed her eyes, rested her head against the pillows, and rubbed her temples. When she opened her eyes, she saw Seth lying in a hospital bed.

  “Hey, buddy-boy, how’re you doing today?” she said as she entered his room. Seth lay passively in his bed, with his eyes closed. It was so discouraging sometimes, to come in day after day and face such unresponsiveness.

  Disturbed with the scene before her, Billie closed her eyes once more.

  “Mom?” she heard a voice say next to her.

  She opened her eyes. A rush of heat rose from the pit of her stomach to her brain. She took Seth by the shoulders and stared intently at him. Seth slipped off the bed and took a step backward.

  “Come here, Seth. Let me look at you. Turn around.”

  Seth obeyed while Billie checked him over. When he swung back around to face her, she took his face between her hands and kissed his forehead.

  “Mom? Are you all right?”

  “Seth, you’re awake! Come up here. Please.”

  Seth climbed back onto the bed and sat next to Billie as she wrapped her arms around him. “Oh God, my baby. I can’t believe you’re all right. I told those doctors you’d wake up. I told them.”

  “Mom, I woke up five years ago.”

  Billie frowned. “How can that be? I just saw you in the hospital.”

  “But I did. Mom, I’m eleven years old now.”

  Billie stared at him. He was six years old when he was hit by the car. This child sitting beside her was older than six.

  “Seth? Oh God...” Billie lost consciousness.

  Cat was in the chair by the window, with Skylar asleep in her arms. Seth and Tara had settled on the floor with their backs against the wall as they watched Doc examine Billie. After a few moments, Doc sat on the edge of the bed, facing Cat and the kids.

  “Daddy, what happened to her?”

  “I can’t be positive, but she may have had a seizure.” He turned to Seth. “Son, can you tell me what happened with your mom before she fainted?”

  “She was acting kinda weird. She thought I was still six, and she was surprised I was awake. She thought I was still in the hospital.”

  “She’s remembering,” Cat said, almost in a whisper.

  “Seth, was she upset, or excited, or anything like that before she fainted?” Doc asked.

  “She was acting real worried and confused… and she looked scared. Grandpa, is she gonna be all right?”

  “She’ll be fine,” Doc said. To Cat, he added, “I’m going to order an EEG to see if there’s any evidence of abnormal electrical activity in the brain, and depending on what that shows, we might need to follow it up with a CAT scan and MRI. The EEG results will tell us a lot.”

  “What if it shows normal brain activity?”

  “Then it might not be epilepsy. However, I’m not ready to rule that out yet.”

  “But the seizures—” Cat said.

  “Seizures can be triggered by a lot of things, including low blood sugar, fainting, heart disease, stroke, migraines, kinked blood vessels, anxiety, and stress, to name a few. Billie’s in pretty good shape, so a few simple tests can rule out most of those causes. But if her memory is indeed returning, extreme stress and anxiety would not be unexpected,” he said. “It’s late. I’ll order the EEG to be hooked up tonight so we can monitor brain activity while she sleeps.” Doc leaned down and lifted a sleeping Skylar out of Cat’s arms. “Come on, little ones, let’s go home.”

  Cat kissed her children goodnight, holding Seth just a little longer than normal. “Mom will be all right. I promise,” she whispered to him. She leaned against the doorframe and watched her family walk down the hall until they rounded the corner to the elevators. She released a deep sigh, walked back into the room, and sat by Billie’s bed. It was going to be a long night.

  Chapter 26

  Cat chose to stay in the hospital with Billie that night rather than go home. The nursing staff accommodated her with a portable cot set up beside Billie’s bed. Between the hum of the EEG monitors and nurses checking on Billie during the night, she got very little sleep. She was standing at the window, watching the sunrise when she heard movement come from the direction of Billie’s bed. She spun around and sat on the edge of the chair by Billie’s bed. “Good morning. You gave us a scare last night. Daddy thinks you might have had a seizure. That explains the wires and monitors. How are you feeling?”

  Billie’s brows knit together. “Where’s Seth?”

  Billie’s gruff attitude hit Cat the wrong way. She let herself fall back into the chair. “I’m fine, Cat, thank you for asking,” she answered for Billie sarcastically. She rubbed the dull ache in her forehead. “Seth is home with Mom and Dad, doing what normal eleven-year-old boys do at five a.m.—sleeping.”

  Billie’s eyes narrowed. “Why didn’t you tell me he woke up from his coma?”

  “Billie, he woke up five years ago,” Cat said, a little harsher than she intended. She realized she was starting to lose patience with the whole situation. She rose to her feet and paced with her arms crossed at her chest. She stopped at the foot of Billie’s bed.

  “Billie, what do you remember?”

  Billie leveled a gaze at her, but remained silent.

  “Do you know who you are?”

  “Yes.”

  “Who are you?”

  “You know who I am.”

  “Damn it! Yes, I know who you are. I want to know if you know.”

  Billie sneered at her. “I’m Billie Charland, mother, legal assistant, aerobics instructor,” she shouted back.

  “Well that’s almost right. You’re a lawyer. I told you that yesterday.”

  “I don’t remember finishing law school.”

  “Well you did. Now, who am I?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know. Is that what you want to hear? All I know is you have my son. I want him back. He’s all I’ve got.” Billie broke down into powerful sobs.

  Cat’s heart ached for her. Risking rejection, she sat on the edge of the bed. She took Billie into her arms and held her as she cried, whispering over and over, “You’re not alone, my love, you’ve got me and the girls as well as Seth. We’re a family. Let us love you.”

  Cat kissed the side of Billie’s head and rocked her as she held her. Billie didn’t pull away.

  Doc entered Billie’s room about a half hour later and found her sleeping in Cat’s arms. He approached Cat’s side of the bed and squeezed her shoulder.

  “Good morning,” he said softly.

  “’Morning, Daddy.”

  He nodded in Billie’s direction. “When did this happen?”

  “Very early this morning. We had a bit of a confrontation, and she let me comfort her.”

  “Good. You’ve got about an hour before breakfast arrives. Try to sleep. You look like hell.”

  “I love you too, Daddy,” Cat said. She snuggled closer to Billie, closed her eyes, and drifted off.

  An hour later, breakfast arrived, rousing the two women from sleep.

  Billie jumped when she opened her eyes and saw Cat’s face mere inches away from hers. “What are you doing in my bed?” she asked.

  “Good morning to you too.” Cat sat up and slid off the bed.

  “How did this happen?”

  “It’s not the end of the world, Billie. You were upset last night. You allowed me to comfort you. Don’t you remember? Anyway, I fell asleep. It’s not a big deal.”

  “Well, it is to me.”

  “I’m sorry. Look, I’m going to get a coffee. I should be back in time for your PT.”


  Cat returned to Billie’s room a few minutes after PT began. Still smarting from Billie’s abrupt manner that morning, she chose to sit in the corner where she could sip her coffee and watch passively from the sidelines rather than be an active participant in the session.

  Most of the session focused on helping Billie balance herself in a sitting position. She used Joseph as an anchor while Laura provided the stability she needed to keep from falling over. Try as Cat might to hold on to her anger, she felt it melting away as her heart filled with pride with each bit of progress Billie made. By the time the session was over, Billie was sitting up unassisted for several moments.

  Joseph left the room, and Laura helped Billie resettle into bed. Billie sat on the edge of the bed, feet dangling over the side, with Laura standing in front of her. “Cat, Would you come over here please?” Laura said. “I’d like to straighten the bed while Billie’s sitting up, and I need you to keep her balanced while I do that, Okay?”

  Cat got up from the chair and stood in front of Billie. Cat noticed that Billie avoided her gaze.

  “Okay, put your hands out like this.” Laura demonstrated by holding her hands at waist height, palms up, in front of Billie. “That’s right. Good. Now Billie, place your hands in Cat’s and hold on.”

  “Give me your hands,” Cat said. “I won’t bite you.”

  Billie relented and placed her hands in Cat’s but avoided her gaze.

  Laura took her time straightening out the bed behind Billie. At one point, she winked at Cat over Billie’s shoulder and continued moving at a turtle’s pace. Cat had all she could do to keep the grin from her face.

  When Laura finished, she came back around and helped to lower Billie onto the bed. She headed to the door. “See you this afternoon, ladies,” she said as she left.

  Cat pulled the covers around Billie’s waist and began to arrange the pillows on either side of her.

  “No, leave them,” Billie said. “I need to work on my balance without the pillows.”