Unchained Memories

by Karen D. Badger

  Seth and Skylar grumbled as they came awake. Tara refused to budge.

  Billie gently shook Tara. “Tara, honey, do you remember what happens when you don’t behave?”

  Tara opened her eyes and grinned at Billie. “To the moon, Alice?”

  “Yep.”

  Cat sat there, wide-eyed at the old joke that passed between them.

  “Okay, okay, I’m going,” Tara said as she sat up. Before she climbed down, Tara wrapped her arms around Billie’s neck and kissed her. “I’m glad you’re home, Mom. I missed you.”

  Billie lowered her forehead to Tara’s. “I’m glad to be home too, sweet pea.”

  “All right, off to bed,” Cat said as the three children climbed to their feet and gave both mothers hugs and kisses. After a round of good nights, they headed for the stairs as Billie watched them go.

  “I’ll tuck them in and be right back,” Cat said.

  Twenty minutes later, she descended the stairs to the living room and Billie was gone. A brief search found her in the kitchen pouring hot water into two teacups. Cat stood there and watched, as Billie opened the cupboard and pulled out the honey. She spooned the sweet liquid into both cups and stirred them before reaching for a cinnamon stick from the canister on the counter, breaking it in half and dropping one into each cup. It’s as if she knows where everything is. Hope rose a little higher in Cat’s breast. Part of her remembers.

  Billie moved the cups to the table one at a time, while maintaining her balance with the other crutch. “Tea?”

  “You bet.” Cat sat down at the table with her.

  After they finished their tea, Cat rinsed both cups, placed them in the dishwasher, and turned to Billie, who was still seated at the table. “Are you ready for bed?”

  Billie appeared nervous. “Cat—”

  “Billie, like I said at the hospital, I think you should sleep in the downstairs guest room for a while. That way you won’t have to worry about negotiating the stairs right away. I’ll sleep on the couch. I want to be nearby in case you need anything in the middle of the night.”

  “Cat, you don’t have to sleep on the couch. Why don’t you sleep in your own bed upstairs? I’ll be fine.”

  Score one for Cat, she thought as she saw the tension leave Billie’s face. Sleeping together in the hospital with very little threat of anything sexual happening was one thing. Sleeping together in the privacy of their home was another thing altogether. Cat wanted to take the pressure off Billie by making it clear to her things would move at her pace. “No, for the first night or so, I’ll take the couch. We’ll take this one day at a time, okay?”

  Billie reached for Cat’s hand. “All right, thanks.”

  Cat rose to her feet. “Come on, let’s get you settled.”

  Cat granted Billie the privacy she needed to change into her nightclothes while she fetched a couple of blankets and a pillow from the hall closet to use on the couch. After making her bed, she returned to the guest room and found Billie already under the covers, the room lit only by moonlight. Billie was still awake.

  Cat sat down on the edge of the bed and traced a pattern across Billie’s brow and down her cheek with her fingertips. “Pleasant dreams, sweetheart.” She bent over and placed light butterfly kisses on her lips.

  “Good night,” Billie said as Cat rose to her feet and walked toward the door. “Cat,” Billie said, stopping her short, “I love you.”

  Cat smiled from across the room. “I love you too. Good night.” She stopped in the hallway just outside Billie’s room and leaned against the wall to regain her composure. “Good night, my love,” she whispered before heading to bed on the living room couch.

  Chapter 38

  Billie awoke the next morning to find a warm body snuggled against her back. She rolled over, expecting to see Cat there. Instead, smiling blue eyes looked up at her.

  “Sky, honey. You surprised me. I thought you were Cat, I mean, Mama.”

  Skylar snuggled in closer and leaned her face into Billie’s neck. “Mama’s sleeping on the couch.”

  Billie wrapped her arms around the child. “Mama’s still sleeping? Are Tara and Seth up yet?”

  “They’re watching cartoons in the living room.”

  “With Mama sleeping right there?”

  “Yes.”

  Boy, that woman can sleep through anything. I wonder how she ever made it to work on time before we met? She frowned. Now where did that thought come from?

  “Mommy, how come you didn’t sleep in your bed last night?”

  “Because my legs need more practice before I can climb that many stairs, sweetheart.”

  “How come Mama didn’t sleep with you? She always sleeps with you.”

  Billie swallowed hard. How do I explain this one? “Ah… Mama wanted to make sure I slept well. Mama’s a bed hog, you know, kind of like a little four-year-old rugrat I know,” Billie said, hoping the child would accept the answer.

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you. Do you know what I do to bed hogs?”

  Skylar’s eyes grew wide as she shook her head no.

  “The claw! Arrrrgggghhhh,” Billie formed her hand into the claw and tickled her.

  Skylar screamed in delight as Billie tickled her into submission.

  Suddenly, Cat ran into the room, her hair a mess and her nightshirt askew. “Who screamed?”

  Skylar poked her head up from behind Billie. “I did. Mommy was tickling me.”

  Cat walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. “Sky, did you wake Mommy up this morning?” she asked, with a hint of reprimand in her voice.

  Billie came to her rescue. “No, she didn’t. She was sleeping, and I almost rolled over on top of her.”

  “Mommy said you were a bed hog,” Skylar said, laughing.

  Billie grabbed Skylar and put her hand over her mouth while shooting Cat an apologetic look.

  Cat raised her eyebrows to Billie. “Oh she did, did she?”

  Skylar nodded her head yes while Billie still held her hand over her mouth.

  “Well, I think Mommy is exaggerating a bit. You know what we do to people who exaggerate?” Cat asked first Skylar, then Billie.

  An expression of comical worry crossed Billie’s face. “The claw?” she said in a little girl voice.

  “The claw!” Cat pounced on Billie and started to tickle her. Skylar shrieked with glee before joining in. Soon Tara and Seth came into the room. Within seconds, they had joined the melee as an all-out tickle war ensued. After a time, Billie and Cat both fell victim to the kids, who quickly ganged up against them. Soon, the war was over and the kids claimed the victory. Their promised reward was a blueberry pancake breakfast with link sausage.

  The kids ran back to watch cartoons while they waited for breakfast. Cat swung her legs off the bed and got up. “Well, I guess I’d better go start breakfast.”

  “Wait, I’ll come with you. I think I might be able to cook the sausage links without too many of them committing suicide on me.”

  Cat grinned and waited for her to climb off the bed and grab her crutches. Billie rose to her feet and looked down on Cat from her height advantage. “I sure could use a good-morning hug.”

  Billie didn’t need to ask twice. Cat slid her arms around Billie and rested her head on the space between Billie’s chin and breasts. Billie leaned into Cat for support. She raised one arm to circle Cat’s back and held her close. She stood like this for long moments, savoring the feeling of closeness.

  Cat broke the embrace. “As much as I’d like to stay like this all day, I need to get breakfast started.”

  Billie lowered her head and kissed Cat full on the lips. One long kiss followed by several light butterfly kisses. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “Keep kissing me like that, and the kids will be making their own breakfast.” Cat took a deep breath and led Billie into the kitchen for breakfast duty.

  Billie sat at her usual place at the kitchen table while the kids dug into the stack of pancakes and s
ausage. She had a full cup of coffee in front of her, and Cat stood at the stove flipping the last batch of cakes.

  “Who wants more pancakes?” Cat asked, holding the spatula over a tall plate of cakes.

  Seth and Tara held out their plates.

  Billie shook her head, smiling at how much the children could eat. Suddenly, a loud ringing started in her ears and a wave a heat rose from her chest into her neck and head. Billie gripped the edges of the table to keep her balance. A sound from the kitchen doorway drew her attention. In the doorway, she saw a battered vision of herself standing there, holding Skylar in her arms.

  Billie winced as she walked toward the table where she placed Skylar in her seat and sat down in the empty chair beside her. She opened her arms to the older children. Both of them rose from the table and approached her warily.

  “It’s all right. Come here.” She tried hard to stifle a painful grunt as they ran into her arms. She wrapped her arms around them and held them close. With a kiss for each child, she sent them back to their seats to finish their breakfast.

  Gingerly, she rose to her feet once more and approached the counter where she poured herself a cup of coffee and refilled the cup Cat was drinking from. She carried them both to the table.

  Cat followed her with a clean plate and utensils. “Sit. Help yourself.” She placed a stack of fresh pancakes and sausage in the center of the table.

  Billie shook her head to clear the confusion. She saw Cat dish pancakes out to the children and drop a few on two other plates for the both of them. Cat slid one of the plates over to Billie. “Eat up. You’ll need your strength for therapy today, love.”

  Billie reached for her fork and the plate of sausages. She was in a daze, still trying to understand the vision she had seen.

  After the children were settled, Cat sat down, and joined the family for breakfast. “Billie, are you all right?” she asked.

  “Huh? I’m sorry. What was it you said?”

  “You’ve been sitting there staring at your plate for several minutes. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a little overwhelmed. Sorry for drifting off like that.”

  Cat reached over and stroked Billie’s face. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

  “Later,” she said, nodding her head in the direction of the kids. “What was it you were asking about, Cat?”

  “I was just talking about your therapy schedule for the week.”

  While the adults talked, one by one the children excused themselves from the table. They rinsed their dishes, placed them in the sink, and went into the living room to watch cartoons.

  When they had both eaten their fill, Cat rose, took Billie’s plate from her, and loaded it and the rest of the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. She refilled their coffee cups and announced she was going to run out to the mailbox for the morning paper.

  Billie sat at the kitchen table nursing her coffee while she waited for Cat. Without warning, a pain tore through her skull as the loud ringing began anew. Billie looked up as Cat came back into the house.

  Billie sat back and pushed a chair out with her foot. “Sit down, Cat.”

  “No, I think I’m fine right here.” Cat continued to lean against the door with her arms crossed in front of her.

  “I asked you to sit down. I won’t be so nice the next time. Now do it.”

  Cat’s defiance matched Billie’s anger. “I don’t think so. You’re my wife, not my boss.”

  Billie placed her elbows on the table and held her head between her hands. A moment later, she slammed her fist down onto the table. “Damn you, Cat. Get your ass over here before you make me do something I’ll regret.”

  “Judging by those photographs, I’d say you’ve already done something you’ll regret.”

  “I promised my son I wouldn’t hurt you. Otherwise I’d give you the beating you so deserve.”

  “Billie, Billie,” Cat said as she shook her.

  Billie’s eyes darted around in confusion. She examined herself and saw no evidence of injury. There were no photographs and no fear in Cat’s eyes.

  “Cat, I hurt you.”

  “What are you talking about? Honey, you’ve never hurt me.”

  Billie’s eyes filled with tears. “Here, in this kitchen. I pinned you against the door. I… I wanted to hurt you.”

  Cat’s eyes flew open wide. “You’re remembering!”

  “I hurt you,” Billie said again.

  Cat took both of Billie’s hands in hers. She kissed the knuckles and pulled them in to rest over her heart. “No, you didn’t hurt me. You couldn’t. You stopped yourself.”

  “Why did I do it, Cat? Why did I treat you like that?”

  Cat released Billie’s hands and walked a few paces away. “Billie, we received some photographs in the mail, very disturbing photographs depicting you in compromising positions with a blonde woman. I freaked out when I saw them. I never gave you a chance to explain. I flew off the handle and assumed the worst. I’ll never forgive myself for treating you like that.”

  “Where did they come from? Who took them?”

  Cat sat next to Billie and covered her hand with her own. “What do you remember about your life with Brian?”

  Billie frowned as she turned her hand over and grasped Cat’s, interlacing their fingers. “Glimpses, only glimpses. It’s odd. I know who I am. I remember working at the firm. I remember Seth, and if Brian walked in here right now, I’d know who he was, but I don’t remember much about being married to him.”

  “Not remembering your life with Brian is in some ways a blessing.”

  “What does my marriage to Brian have to do with the pictures?”

  Cat looked away.

  “Don’t avoid the question. Please—I need to know.”

  “Brian staged the pictures years ago when Seth was still a baby. Brian is a sick son of a bitch. He used the pictures as blackmail to keep you from divorcing him.”

  Billie’s eyes grew large as a wave of fear filled her. The loud ringing was back, and she fought the nausea growing in the pit of her stomach. Somewhere on the periphery of her consciousness, she felt someone squeezing her hand and asking if she was all right.

  Brian backed her up against the wall and slammed her head into it over and over. “You belong here with me, taking care of that little bastard in the other room, not out screwing everything in sight.”

  “I wasn’t.”

  “Don’t lie to me, you filthy whore.”

  “Brian, stop… please.”

  “I’ll teach you to run out on me, bitch.”

  While he reached for his belt buckle, Billie kicked him in the shin. He let out a howl and fell to the floor, releasing the hold he had on her neck only when she fell on top of him. She scrambled away, but he caught her foot and yanked on it as hard as he could, twisting it at the same time and causing an audible snap. He climbed up and sat across her stomach, throwing blow after close-fisted blow toward her face. About half of the blows landed on target, the other half blocked by Billie’s flailing hands. When he stopped, he removed his belt and whaled it across her back until stripes of blood could be seen through her blouse.

  Billie yanked her hand from Cat’s grasp and covered her face. “Oh my God. Oh my God,” she cried in anguish as she rocked back and forth.

  Cat jumped to her feet and circled behind Billie, wrapping both arms around her. “It’s okay, love. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. You’re safe now. He’ll never hurt you again. I promise.”

  After a few moments, the tremors subsided. Billie removed her hands from her face and clung to Cat’s arms, still wrapped around her from behind. She leaned her face against Cat’s.

  “I’m so sorry, my love,” Cat whispered in Billie’s ear.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re right. Brian was a monster. I remember the beating… and the pictures. He’s pure evil. I hope to God he didn’t pass any of those traits to Seth.”

 
Cat released Billie and sat down at the table. She took Billie’s hands in her own. “There’s no way Seth inherited any of Brian’s traits. He’s pure sweetness. Seth’s compassion and inner beauty comes from you. Please believe that.”

  Billie nodded.

  Cat cupped Billie’s cheek in her palm. “Do you remember anything else?”

  “I had another memory just as breakfast was starting. I saw myself in the kitchen doorway holding Skylar. I was… I was…”

  “You were injured, weren’t you?”

  “Yes, like I’d been beaten.”

  “You were. You attempted to drown your sorrows in one the seediest bars in town, and you were assaulted. Art brought you home to me the night before the event in your vision.” Cat lowered her head as a wave of shame filled her heart at the way she had overreacted to the pictures.

  “What is it, Cat?”

  “I’ve already told you I overreacted when I saw the pictures we received in the mail. I’m afraid I caused you tremendous pain and heartbreak by accusing you of being unfaithful to me. Things wouldn’t have escalated the way they did if only I’d listened to you.”

  “Cat, I’m the one who hurt you. My God, the vision. I can’t believe I treated you so rough. I’m so sorry.”

  “Your anger was justified. I was wrong to accuse you of infidelity. If I hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t have left, or gone to that bar, and you wouldn’t have been injured. Don’t you see? It’s my fault, not yours.”

  “Nothing justifies the manhandling I saw in that vision. I’ll never forgive myself for doing that to you.”

  Cat turned her head and kissed the inside of Billie’s palm still resting against her cheek. “It’s in the past. Please let it go.”

  Billie closed her eyes and whispered, “I’ll try.”

  “Good. I’m so happy you’re starting to remember. Sweetheart, do you remember anything else?”

  Billie shook her head. “Not right now.”

  For most of the morning, Cat worked with Billie on various therapeutic exercises while the children played in the yard. Around midmorning, Cat was walking backwards in front of Billie, helping her cross the living room without her crutches, while Billie walked forward, her hands lying on top of Cat’s palms.