by Lucian Bane
“You are,” Dr. Wong assured.
“I’d like to go home. Is everything done? Am I allowed to go?”
Not once had she ever thought he’d not mentally accept the transplant. She’d prepared for his body to reject it, but not his mind.
“What do you think Dr. Lanthrop?” Ben asked.
The kind old man gave a wobbly smile at Ben. “I think he should certainly go home with his family. Would you mind letting the neurological testing technician conduct her tests before you do? Will only take her about forty minutes. After that, you’re free to go.” He turned to Doctor Wong. “He can look at his new head whenever he’s ready.” He turned to Charlie now, his smile big. “I’ll be seeing you soon,” he said, shaking his hand before aiming that smile at Cheryl. “Call me if you have any questions.” He held his hand out to Ben now. “Ben, enjoy your success and new lease on life. I know your son and wife will.”
And with that he turned and left.
“I’ll get the testing technician so we can get this done and get you guys home,” Dr. Wong announced right away, looking at Cheryl. “You’re welcome to stay during the test if you like. They’re just standard neurological assessments, nothing complicated.”
Cheryl turned to Ben, her stomach clenching at running into his dark gaze. Hard and brutal, but maybe not as wild. “Would you like me to stay?” she asked, feeling the need to protect him more than ever now.
“What do you want to do?” he asked.
The question seemed like a test or a worry, and the idea that he doubted her sent her to him. He didn’t move when she put her arms around him and brought her mouth to his ear. “Listen,” she whispered. “Whatever you want, is what I want. I know this…feels crazy, but, it’s not. I miss you, Ben,” she finally said, pulling back and pressing a kiss to his cheek.”
“Stay,” he said.
Even with his deep voice being so new to her, she heard the need in it.
It prompted her to kiss his cheek again. “I’m not leaving you. Ever.”
When she went to pull away, he grabbed her hand and held it, looking at Dr. Wong. “I’m ready. Let’s get this done.”
Cheryl’s heart skittered all over as he kept hold of her hand when Dr. Wong left to send in the next doctor. “You okay?” he asked.
She forced herself to look at him and not flinch. “I am now that you’re awake.” He stared at her like he searched for something. The idea he might see his reflection in her eyes made her lower her gaze in panic.
“You’re scared of me.” It wasn’t a question but an observation.
“I’m…scared for you.”
“Why?”
She made herself lock eyes with him. “Because I love you,” she whispered.
“That took a lot to say,” he realized before lowering his head, shaking it. “What…” He glanced to the right before bringing his gaze next to her. “What… what does it look like?”
Her heart melted in her chest at hearing his worry. “You look exactly like the man we both looked at before the operation,” she said, letting him know they’d both seen the head already.
“Yeah,” he muttered, still not meeting her gaze. “I don’t remember that.”
“Well, you’re not ugly, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
He eyed her now in that studying way. “You’re not lying.”
She gave a pfff. “Of course, I’m not.” And she wasn’t. “You were terrifying in the picture but in real life, you’re… pretty darn cute.”
Her pulse galloped through her veins from the effort that took to say. But the low laugh he gave and the look in his eyes as he stared at her made it worth it. “You’re not lying,” he said again, sounding maybe surprised.
“Glad you can read my mind.”
The door opened and a woman walked in with a three-tiered cart of stuff. “Hi, Ben, Cheryl and Chaaaarlie,” she sang, turning to shut the door. “I’m Dr. Brady, but you can call me Lacey,” she said, parking the cart and smiling at each of them. “I know you must be ready to get out of here.”
“We are,” Charlie said.
“Well, this will take about forty minutes, I’m afraid. But it’s not that bad, I promise.”
A knock sounded on the door and Charlie went and opened it. Cheryl tried to see who it was, and Alice finally entered with a smile.
“Oh, this is Alice,” she whispered to Ben.
“Who’s Alice?”
“Dad,” Charlie announced, holding Alice’s hand as he hurried with her over. “I’d like you to meet Alice. My girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend,” he muttered, eyeing Cheryl.
“You don’t remember because it happened during your recovery,” Cheryl explained with a mild smile.
Ben nodded, eyeing Alice.
“Hi, Mr. Ben. It’s very nice to meet you.” Cheryl wanted to hug the girl for going as far as offering her hand for a shake.
Ben shook it with a small smile, looking from Cheryl to Charlie. “She’s pretty,” he said, like he wasn’t sure what else to say.
“She is,” Charlie said. “And smart.”
“And Chinese?” Ben guessed. “Charlie likes all things Chinese, am I right?”
Charlie gave a huge grin. “I used to. Now I only like Chinese things like Alice.”
Ben gave a real laugh and the sound clobbered Cheryl’s stomach at how surprisingly amazing it sounded. “Only Chinese Alice, huh? That’s a smart boy,” he said to Cheryl.
“That he is,” she sputtered out between giggles. “He learned from the best,” she whispered to Ben, earning his angled gaze that reminded her of a shy teenager. A huge contradiction to that look in the picture she’d been staring at for the past weeks.
“Okay, I’m going to need a little space for some of these tests.”
“We can go,” Charlie said, then looked at them. “Is that okay?”
“Yes, get,” Cheryl shooed. “We’ll meet you at the house.”
Ben said lowly when they headed out. “Something tells me we’re not in Kansas anymore?”
She regarded him with a smile at hearing he might be halfway accepting what was happing. “Perceptive, Mr. Rabinowski. We are in fact, in China.”
“Wow,” he mumbled.
“I’ll sit here,” Cheryl said, hurrying to the chair in the corner of the room when the doctor stood next to his bed.
“Thank you, Miss Cheryl,” she cooed, sweetly. “There is a gait test that usually requires a little walking, but given his condition, I’ll use the one-legged stance test for that. And we’ll do that one last. Alrighty, then, Mr. Ben. I’ll need you to lie back. Let me put more incline on this bed, hold on,” she said, looking along the side for functions. It raised up with a soft hum for several seconds. “There, that’ll do it. Just lie back now.”
“Okay, are you comfortable?” she asked in a sweet, almost teenage sounding voice.
“I’m good.”
“I’m going to ask you some basic questions. Are you right or left-handed?”
Chery’s gut tensed as she watched him think then hold up both his hands and looked at them like he could possibly know that way. “I’m right-handed. And left, I think.”
The woman nodded a little. “Alright. So, a little ambidextrous.”
“Yes,” he said, while Cheryl swallowed her fear.
As far as she knew, he’d only ever been right-handed. Did the nurse know that? If she did, she wasn’t indicating it.
“Would you mind closing your eyes for me?”
She nodded as he did.
“Now open them.”
More smiles when he did.
“Good. Now puff out your cheeks for me.” Nodding at his performance. “Very good.” She turned to her table of items and picked up a paper cup and presented it to him. “What do you call this?”
He looked at it. “A cup.”
“Brilliant,” she said, circling the rim of it with her finger. “What do you call this?”
“The rim.”
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“Excellent.” She picked up a comb next. “What do you call this?” she asked holding it before him.
“A comb.”
She drew her finger along the top. “And what do you call this?”
“The…teeth.”
“Okay.” She returned the comb to the table and looked at him. “Can you say for me, Prince Regent Street.”
“Prince Regent Street.”
She put her hand on his shoulder. “That was perfect. Can you tell me what it is you’re lying on?”
“A bed.”
She lifted her hand. “What do you call this?”
“A hand.”
“And this?” she pointed to her nail.
“A fingernail.”
“Very good. Do you know who the president of the United States is?”
He thought about it. “Uh.”
Cheryl swallowed, silently praying for him.
“I can’t…I don’t think I know.”
“That’s fine,” she said like it wasn’t important. “I barely know that on a clear day. We really don’t expect patients to remember some of these things after such an operation. It takes time,” she said to Cheryl now too, making her feel a lot better.
“Can you count backwards for me starting from twenty?”
He did, but what was impressive was his speed. Cheryl didn’t think she could have done it that fast.
“Wow, I think you out-performed even me, there,” the doctor laughed with happy eyes. “I’m going to tell you something that I want you to remember. I’ll ask you what I told you later in the test to test your memory retention.”
“Okay,” he said.
“9 South Street,” she said. “I’ll ask you later what I just told you. Okay, now I’ll move to your sense of smell. I’m going to place something at your nose, and you’ll close your eyes and tell me what it is you’re smelling.”
She picked up another cup and he closed his eyes. Pressing one nostril closed she asked, “What do you smell?”
“That’s coffee…with sugar.”
“Very good!” she said, closing the other nostril. “Now?”
“Same,” he said.
“Amazing,” she sang, returning the cup then picking up a newspaper. “Can you sit up for this?” She put the paper before him when he sat up. “Read this here for me,” she instructed, pointing at the small print.
Cheryl was impressed as he read easily. He used to wear glasses for that size print.
She held the paper farther away. “Read the headlines for me.”
“There Was a Silencing.”
“Excellent!” she cried, returning the paper to the table and picking up a small tool. “You can lie back now.” She approached with the tool. “I’m going to check pupil dilation with my little light.” She checked both eyes and made him sit up again while using another tool to look into each eye. She then placed her hand over one eye. “Look at my left eye,” she instructed. “Tell me when you see my finger.” She stretched her other arm out and slowly brought in a wiggling finger, changing angles in the direction of a clock after he let her know he saw it.
“Wow,” the woman said after she was done. “Your peripheral vision is amazing.”
Cheryl couldn’t tell if she was just morale boosting or serious.
She then moved her finger in many directions before both eyes, having him follow it.
In all she tested twelve nerve functions and Cheryl was surprised with the simplicity of the tests as well as curious as to how those things defined whatever they were testing. She dared not ask, worried the woman might stop and explain it. She knew Ben was ready to get out of there and she was ready to get him out.
“On to your motor functions,” she happily announced, moving the arm rail down so she could get to his body better. She placed his hands on his lap and Cheryl’s gaze went to the scar at his neck, amazed again. Nothing but a perfect red line, the size of a thread. The doctor merely stood at the foot of his bed and stared while he sat still.
“Alright,” she said, moving back to his side and taking hold of his arm. “Just relax for me. “She moved his arm in random directions then moved to his leg and did the same. Tingles danced in her stomach when she saw his man equipment push against the cream-colored material of the hospital pants.
She then went through testing his strength, making him push or pull against various holds she placed on each limb.
“Excellent!” she said, moving to his legs next. She bent his leg at the knee and held his shin. “Push against my hold.” He did and she then stretched his leg back out. “Try to pull it in.”
“That’s all I got,” he said, winded.
“And that, my friend, is a lot,” she assured, moving to the other side of the bed. “Normally, there’s zero. Now I’m going to test your reflexes.”
She used a long tool with a round rubber disc on the end and went from limb to limb, popping the tool at various spots, again seeming thrilled with the results. Cheryl hoped it wasn’t just being encouraging.
After a series of coordination tests, she asked, “Do you remember what I told you to remember earlier in the test?”
“9 South Street.”
“Fantastic!” she cried with a little clap. Cheryl gave an inner sigh at realizing she wasn’t done still. She looked at Ben and her stomach tickled at finding him watching her.
“I think my wife is tired of your tests.”
The nurse laughed and Cheryl smiled a little before lowering her eyes. It was hard looking right into his, and not just because they were so different. He looked so deeply into hers, it made her nervous.
At long last, she announced, “And that’s it! You have successfully completed the seven categories of our neurological exam. I’m happy to report that you performed brilliantly in the mental, cranial, motor, reflex, sensory, and coordination tests! Dr. Wong will be thrilled. Especially about your vision test. And you’ve seemed to gain an extra dominant hand! Off the charts remarkable.”
Wow. So, she wasn’t just being encouraging. It all seemed impossible. Too good to be true, a dream.
Thank you, God.
Ben’s Released
Cheryl paced in their kitchen, waiting for Ben.
Dr. Wong had returned to the room and talked Ben into letting Cheryl go home ahead of him and get things ready. There wasn’t anything to get ready really, but she sensed the Dr. wanted to speak to him alone. To get around, Ben would have to use his bat mobile as Dr. Wong called it, until he got full control of his legs. That was good, Cheryl thought, going back to the refrigerator to peer blindly in it.
It was in between breakfast and lunch and she decided a brunch would be in order. And where was Charlie? She tried calling his phone and no answer. Hope he wasn’t digging for dice at a time like this. His father was coming home with a new head and she wasn’t exactly ready to be alone with him so soon. In their home.
She wasn’t sure what all he remembered with her. With them. What if he remembered everything? Or nothing? What if…he wanted to have sex?
She slammed the fridge shut and went back to pacing, snatching her phone off the island. Her heart hammered at seeing Ben had texted her.
I’m on my way.
Oh shit, oh shit.
She’d play it by ear. She’d play everything by ear, that’s all she could do. God give me strength to do the right things for him!
The second the doors opened Cheryl hurried to greet him. “You made it!”
He looked down at his chair seeming to wonder if was done going. “I guess I did,” he said in that deep voice. “The doc set the coordinates and it did all the work.”
“I have a walker,” she hurried at seeing he was wanting to stand. “Wait, please. I don’t want you falling.”
She returned with it, placing it before his chair. “Let me help, please,” she begged, terrified of him falling.
“Yeah, okay,” he said, grabbing hold of the walker and pulling himself up. After a few seconds, he gushed
, “Wow.”
“Feels weird?” she asked, watching his arms begin to shake.
“Feels…like…I’ve never done it before.”
She remembered about him not feeling his memories. Was that going to be the case with everything? “You’re shaking, maybe you should rest.”
“Yeah, good idea,” he said, sounding strained.
She hurried and moved his chair closer. “You can sit now,” she instructed, wishing Charlie was here in case he fell.
He landed in the chair with a groan, covered in sweat.
“My God, that was more work than we both imagined.”
He nodded, winded. “I need to do that every fifteen minutes.”
“Is that what the doctor said?” she wondered.
“No, it’s what I say.”
The sudden bite in his tone startled her. “Okay.” Now what?
“I’d like to take a shower. They have what’s required for that?” he wondered.
“Yes, they do. Mr. Haiku put in all the equipment you might need, yesterday. Are you sure you’re ready?”
“Six weeks of no bathing?”
“Right,” she realized, her stomach a mess. She gripped the handles at the back of his chair. “I’ll take you.”
“I can do it,” he said, quickly.
“But…I should show you how everything works in there. Once I do, you can do the rest.”
He considered that for a few moments then nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
As she pushed him toward the room, it hit her.
“What?” he asked when she paused at their doorway.
“There’s…a wall of mirror in the bathroom. Are you sure?”
He sat there long enough to make her realize he wasn’t ready for that yet. “We could blindfold you if you’re not ready,” she thought quickly.
He gave a light snort, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m not afraid.”
“Are you sure?” she double checked. “I would understand if you needed to.”
She didn’t miss the hesitation before his, “I’m ready.”
“Okay. You can close your eyes too,” she suggested at the last moment.