by Regina Darcy
“My goodness, Lady Packham,” he exclaimed, his voice echoing around the hallway. “You have quite a gift with the child!”
Lady Packham’s eyes finally met his and he was struck by the warmth that now filled them when, previously, he had thought her almost grief stricken.
“Thank you for allowing me to hold her,” she replied, in a quiet voice. “Might I be permitted to take her below stairs, in order to find her something to eat? I would presume that she is hungry after your long trip.”
He chuckled, feeling as though the appearance of Lady Packham was the answer to his prayers. “Indeed, as am I,” he replied, with a small smile in her direction. “If you are willing to take care of the child for a time, Lady Packham, until I can find a suitable nurse, then I will confess myself to be more than grateful. It really has been a somewhat…..trying day.” His smile faded, his gaze darting away as he felt assaulted with grief all over again.
Lady Packham caught his gaze and something passed between them, something that suggested she knew precisely what he felt. The moment passed almost at once as the Duchess smiled and cleared her throat gently.
“Then let me take you to my husband,” she said, quietly. “And then I shall help Lady Packham with the child. Do you have any new clothes for her?”
Daniel shook his head, a little embarrassed. “The circumstances I found her in were less than ideal. I confess I have nothing for her, not even a fresh gown.” His embarrassment grew as he realised his niece was in a rather dirty blanket. “She will need everything before we return to my estate and I shall require a nurse also. I am very unsure about it all, of course, which is why I am truly grateful for you and your husband’s willingness to accommodate me for a few days here in town.” Handing his gloves, hat and coat to the butler, he drew in a steadying breath. “I would have resided in my own townhouse of course, but it is undergoing a few renovations at the moment.”
“Of course,” the Duchess replied with a smile. “Do come this way, my lord. Let us re-join my husband.”
***
Some hours later and Daniel had found himself finally able to relax, having discussed the matter of his niece and his late sister with his old friend. The Duke had expressed dismay and regret over the death of Daniel’s sister, assuring him that he would do all he could do assist – although he had wryly admitted that he had not any particular experience with children himself.
“I am sorry that you lost your sister in such tragic circumstances,” the Duke murmured, handing him a brandy. “She wrote to you, you say?”
“She did,” Daniel replied, tersely. “Foolish girl.”
The Duke lifted one eyebrow. “Foolish? Why do you say that?”
Daniel shook his head, rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand. “Because she insisted on falling in love with a man who was not worthy of her,” he stated, bluntly. “A man who treated her terribly and left her with nothing. She ought never to have considered such emotions to be of any significance. Then perhaps she might still be here.” The anger and upset that inevitably emerged every time he thought about his sister burst through his chest again, piercing his heart with a sharp stab of grief.
The Duke let out a long breath.
“I am sorry, old man. But I will say that I think love is not something that should ever be ignored. Considered, yes, but never ignored and pushed aside. I will say that your sister ended up in the most unfortunate of circumstances but for persons such as myself and my wife, love has truly brought us together.”
Daniel dismissed the Duke’s words at once, unable to reconcile his reality with what the man was saying.
“I reject that idea entirely, I’m afraid,” he replied, firmly. “Love and other such emotions are only tools used to manipulate and destroy. When it comes time for me to wed – and, I will confess that I ought to have done so some time ago – I will choose my bride carefully, without giving any consideration for my emotions whatsoever.”
There was a short silence. The Duke made to say something but, having opened his mouth, then appeared to consider it not worthy of saying. Clearing his throat, the Duke turned their conversation back towards the baby.
“The child is with Lady Packham, did you say?”
Daniel nodded, relieved that they were not going to continue on with the discussion about love. “I was glad that Lady Packham was able to assist me with Josephine,” Daniel admitted, the lady on his mind. “She is to reside here with you for some time, I understand.”
The Duke shrugged. “According to my dear wife, yes. I confess I do not know the lady particularly well, nor her circumstances, but you can be assured that she is of good character, if that is what your concern is. My wife has very good discernment and would not speak so highly of the lady if it was not the case.”
Daniel nodded slowly, a quick thought catching at his mind before immediately dismissing it. A lady of quality could never do for a nurse!
“She does have a way with the child,” he murmured aloud, half to himself. “That brought a great deal of relief to me, I will confess.”
The Duke made to say more, only for the door to open and Lady Packham and the Duchess to step inside. They sat down gracefully and Daniel found himself gazing at Lady Packham, a trifle concerned over where his niece might be.
“Your niece is truly wonderful,” Lady Packham said quietly, evidently aware of his concern. “The cook and I were able to feed her and she is now resting quietly. It is a blessing she is of the age to take some solid food, else you would require a wet nurse.”
“I thought to put her in Lady Packham’s bedchamber for the time being, since our nursery is under dust covers,” the Duchess added, with a small smile. “The babe has taken to Lady Packham, it seems. There is a maid with her at the moment, of course.”
A slight frown caught Daniel’s brow. “But Duchess, I cannot ask you to –”
“You need not worry, my lord,” Lady Packham interrupted, her expression one of sheer joy. “I have a great affinity for children and I find baby Josephine to be a real delight.”
Surprised that the lady had been so quickly caught up with baby Josephine, Daniel considered it for a moment before allowing himself to relax. It was a little unusual for a lady of quality to have such an interest in children but given how the baby had quietened the moment Lady Packham had held her, he found he could not protest.
“Very well, Lady Packham,” he replied, with a small smile in her direction. “That is very good of you, I confess.”
Lady Packham looked thoroughly delighted. “You cannot know what joy this brings me,” she smiled, her eyes no longer holding the pain he had first seen in her. “I have had some trying circumstances of late and now, in a single afternoon, I find some of my happiness restored.”
“Do you have any children of your own, Lady Packham?” he asked, as the Duchess reached to pour the tea.
The lady’s expression clouded. “No, my lord,” she replied, her gaze darting away for a moment. “My husband passed away recently. Baron Packham decided to go and witness the war efforts for himself and was unfortunately lost in battle.”
His heart squeezed for a moment, feeling a little embarrassed that he had asked her something that had brought such a personal response. “My condolences, my lady.”
She did not look at him and the tension mounted between them. The Duchess busied herself handing everyone a cup of tea and, thanks to her bright smile and quick change of conversation, Daniel felt the awkwardness begin to dissipate. However, the more the conversation flowed, the more he found himself looking towards Lady Packham, wondering if the presence of baby Josephine had helped ease the grief that came with the loss of her husband.
“You say you require a nurse, Lord Sherbrooke?”
The Duchess’s voice broke into his thoughts and, after only a moment, he turned to her with a smile on his face.
“Yes, I will require a nurse for baby Josephine which I shall have to secure before I depart London. Might you
have any suggestions, Duchess?”
The lady’s eyes glowed for a moment, her lips curving into a thoughtful smile. “Mayhap, Lord Sherbrooke. In fact, I think I have the perfect lady in mind.”
THREE
Cassandra stared at her friend in shock, one hand at her heart. They were alone in the morning room as the men took their bourbon in the study.
“Prudence, you are jesting!”
“No,” Prudence replied, gently. “I am not teasing you, my dear. I think it a perfect solution. I can tell that you care deeply for the child already, having only had two days with her, and Lord Sherbrooke requires a nurse.”
Cassandra shook her head, aware that she had quite fallen in love with baby Josephine. But she knew that Lord Sherbrooke would not want a lady for a nurse. “He will not agree, Prudence. I am a lady of quality, not a nursemaid! I have no experience in bringing up children and, besides which, he would think it improper!”
“I do not think so,” Prudence replied, firmly. “He admires the way you care for his niece, albeit for such a short time. Can you not speak to him about your circumstances?”
“No, certainly I could not!” Cassandra protested, her cheeks aflame with the thought. “I barely know the gentleman. To reveal my shame is more than I can bear.”
Prudence laid one hand on Cassandra’s. “It is not your shame, Cassandra. Your husband treated you poorly, your brother-in-law abominably and your own flesh and blood have turned their back on you for no good reason other than they wish to keep a hold of as much of their wealth as possible.” Her expression softened. “I want to ensure you know that you are welcome to remain here indefinitely, but I can tell just how much you are drawn to that child.”
Cassandra swallowed hard, knowing that everything Prudence said was true. “I know,” she replied, miserably. “I have always longed for children and the babe is truly wonderful – but she is not mine and nor can I let myself imagine that I could be in her life for any prolonged length of time.” The truth hit her hard. “And yet, I can see that I have no other prospects,” she admitted, slowly. “I am not to find another husband with any ease, which means I can have no hope of my own children or family.” Her breath caught, a sob catching in her throat. “Lord Sherbrooke will think me quite improper if I should suggest such a thing.”
Prudence shook her head. “He may be grateful of it, Cassandra. You anticipate his reaction but the gentleman may surprise you. I could suggest that it be only temporary since we are to visit there in a few weeks. Mayhap I could suggest that, by then, I will have a good few recommendations for him.”
Suddenly, the idea did not seem so terrible.
“You would have your own lady’s maid, of course, and it would all be quite proper,” Prudence continued, pushing gently. “Speak to him, Cassandra. Take this opportunity to give yourself the chance of happiness, even if it is only for a time. I could see just how happy you were to hold that child in your arms.”
Something shifted in Cassandra’s heart. Her fear, her doubt, her upset seemed to be swept away as she recalled baby Josephine, realising just how delightful her hours had been over the last two days. Her fingers closed around her pendant, recalling just how much hope she had once had when it had come to having a family of her own. Should she let herself have a short time of happiness?
“He will think me ridiculous,” she whispered, as Prudence rose to her feet. Fear clutched at her heart as she heard footsteps approaching the drawing room, realising that Prudence was encouraging her to speak to Lord Sherbrooke almost at this very moment. “I cannot!”
“You can,” Prudence replied, warmly. “Be brave, my dear friend.”
Somehow, Prudence made an excuse to Lord Sherbrooke about needing to see to something or other, promising to be back within a few minutes, and Cassandra found herself greeting Lord Sherbrooke alone, her whole body trembling just a little. They engaged in conversation for a few minutes but it was nothing of consequence and Cassandra found it very difficult to concentrate, knowing that she had to make a choice. Either she could allow this opportunity to pass or she could try and speak honestly to Lord Sherbrooke.
Closing her eyes, she took in a long breath. Opening her eyes, she saw Lord Sherbrooke’s blue eyes looking back at her quizzically, as though he anticipated her asking him something. He was, Cassandra had to admit, a rather handsome man with his shock of almost black hair and vivid eyes that took in everything. Broad shouldered, he had the appearance of strength and yet there was something about him that spoke of retreating, of shielding himself from something that she could not see.
“Lord Sherbrooke,” she began, her voice shaking as her fingers dug into the soft skin of her palms. “I have a proposal I should like you to consider.”
Unable to stop herself, she continued to speak, her words coming out in a torrent.
“I have nothing to hold me here and I find that I am delighted by your niece. If you are in a particular rush to return to your estate, I might attend with you and Josephine as her nurse…. just for the moment, of course. I understand that the Duke and Duchess are to visit you for an extended stay in a month or so, and the Duchess would be bringing some recommendations for nursemaids with her then.”
Slamming her mouth closed, she looked at him and saw the astonishment in his expression. She felt her stomach twist with sickening anticipation. She was quite sure he would refuse her; quite sure he would think less of her for suggesting such a thing.
“You wish to be Josephine’s nurse?” he stated, in a low voice. “Truly?”
“I can see you are struggling and that you are eager to return to your estate,” she said, hoarsely, half praying that he would agree. “I have nothing to hold me here.”
Slowly, Lord Sherbrooke began to nod. “Well. This is something of a surprise, Lady Packham but I will confess not an unwelcome one.” Hesitating, he looked at her. “But to lower yourself to such a lowly position as this is surely not something you would wish for yourself, Lady Packham? A nurse is not a position for a lady of quality.”
The truth burned in her mind but she found that she could not say a single thing.
To tell him that her husband had died, leaving her without so much as a penny to her name and that subsequently she had been forced to leave the only home, turned away even by her own brother, was more than she could bear.
Lord Sherbrooke was still looking at her with a confused expression on his face as if waiting for her to give her explanation but the only thing she could mumble was just how much she adored the child.
Lord Sherbrooke frowned again, looking as though he might press her further but at that very moment, the Duchess returned to the room, looking as bright and as happy as ever.
“Ah, Lord Sherbrooke,” she exclaimed, ringing the bell. “Shall I order you a tea tray? Or would you prefer to have a brandy? I think Lady Packham and I shall enjoy tea and cakes over some good conversation.”
Lord Sherbrooke looked a little nonplussed for a moment, regaining himself before asking for a brandy.
“I do hope I have not interrupted anything,” the Duchess continued, with a small smile in Cassandra’s direction. “Do excuse me if I disturbed your conversation.”
Lord Sherbrooke cleared his throat; a small but rather tight smile emerged on his face.
“No, indeed, Duchess. In fact, I would value your opinion. Lady Packham here has offered to become Josephine’s nurse for a time, whilst the search continues for a decent nurse. After all, you know that I will only accept the very best for my niece and I understand that it may take some time before such a lady can be found.”
The Duchess’s smile was beatific as she looked over at Cassandra. “Oh, but I think that is a marvellous idea. After all, Lord Sherbrooke, you must have seen how the baby has taken to Lady Packham and it would be very good for you also, Lady Packham, would it not?”
Cassandra nodded, her fingers white as she gripped them tightly. “I would very much enjoy it, I think.”
“And yet I do think it would be a very great change for you, Lady Packham,” Lord Sherbrooke continued, quietly. “What of your reputation? What would the ton say?”
Not knowing what to say to this, Cassandra remained quite silent only for the Duchess to break through the immediate tension with a laugh.
“Oh, goodness, Lord Sherbrooke, you need not concern yourself with what the ton will think, for neither she nor I care very much for such things at all. Do not trouble yourself in that regard, good sir!”
Lord Sherbrooke cleared his throat, looking a trifle uncomfortable and Cassandra, not knowing what else to do, simply sat quietly and prayed that Lord Sherbrooke would agree to their scheme.
“It would mean that I could return home sooner than I had first thought,” Lord Sherbrooke murmured, half to himself. “The child’s clothes are already delivered and the nursery is being prepared at my estate.” His eyes travelled back to Cassandra, looking thoughtful, and Cassandra felt her breath catch in anticipation.
“Very well,” he agreed, eventually. “So long as you are quite sure, Lady Packham, then I would be glad to take you and your lady’s maid back to Sherbrooke estate. Might you be ready to leave the day after tomorrow?”
Cassandra, who had nothing but the clothes Prudence had given to her, nodded fervently, trying not to worry about the lack of items she would have to take with her. The last thing she wanted was for Lord Sherbrooke to discover her shame and disgrace, not when it was already so difficult to bear.
“Wonderful!” the Duchess exclaimed, brightly. “I shall help you with packing your things, of course, Lady Packham. It will be a wonderful adventure for you, I am quite sure. I will, of course, send my recommendations to you, Lord Sherbrooke, as to your new nurse and mayhap when we come to visit in a month’s time, you will have decided on which lady to hire. If not, I am quite sure that Lady Packham will be glad to stay on.”