“You want acrylic, silicone, glass, or something more realistic?”
“I have no clue, what do you suggest?”
“I have several of each,” Jessica said. “But I would suggest something about six or seven inches, made of silicone. I’m not asking about Holt’s size, I just think you should stick with the size you’re used to at first.”
“Sounds good,” Aurora said. “I think I want to browse for a few moments. Alone, if that’s okay.”
“That’s fine,” Jessica said. “Text me if you need me.” She turned and looked around the huge store. There were various couples around, and some single men and women. What should she look at, she wondered? Bondage equipment would be the first, then she wanted to pick out a massage oil.
She had to remember not to go crazy with buying things, although it would be fun. It would be more fun to come back with Hawk and pick out things together.
She couldn’t wait to bring him here, again.
Hawk wiped his hands on the rag hanging from the stable door and reached for his phone. The ID said it was Nate Willis. He figured Nate was calling to ask about Becky, since the two of them seemed to have hit it off at the barbecue last night. Either that or he was calling to say they’d found Matilda Dobbs, either dead, or alive.
“Hey,” Hawk greeted the ranger. “What’s up?”
“Hey,” Willis responded. “I’m looking for your lady. Is she with you?”
Hawk’s stomach did a few flips. “No, she’s up at the house. You have her number, right?”
“She’s not answering, so I stopped by the house and she’s not here. I’d hoped she was with you.”
“Son of a bitch,” Hawk whispered. He knew she was up to something today. There was just no telling what it was. “You’re at the house now?”
“I tried her house, and yours, and now I’m at the ranch. Where are you guys? If I’m interrupting I’ll come back Monday.”
Willis had told him he was stationed out of Lubbock, which was close to Bringham.
“She’s supposed to be at the ranch,” Hawk said. “Austin was supposed to be watching her.”
“He said Jessica and Aurora went to the bakery to get cookies. I checked and they’re not there. I just wanted to talk with her about an idea I had to drag Grant Dobbs out of telling lies.”
“Okay.” Hawk pounded his fist against his thigh. Holt and Kyle watched. “I’ll find her.”
“Sounds good,” Willis said. “Hey, listen, do you have Becky’s phone number? I didn’t ask her for it last night. Too many people around.”
Hawk wanted to smile, but right now he was too pissed. “I’ll text it to you.”
“Thanks.” The two said goodbye and Hawk sent Becky’s info to Willis. Then he turned to his brothers. “Jessica and Aurora are not at the house. Where would they have gone?”
“What the hell?” Holt asked. He pulled out his phone and punched the screen. Hawk did the same. Jessica didn’t answer, but as her phone went to voicemail he heard Holt say, “You’re where?”
Holt’s next words made Hawk’s blood boil. “Stay there. We’re on our way.” He disconnected and said, “Care for a trip to a sex shop?”
“Excuse me?” Hawk asked.
“We’ll have to take your truck, because they took mine.” Holt was smiling, but Hawk was not. Kyle was laughing.
“Let’s go,” Hawk said. They were done shoeing the horse, which was good. And the trip to Amarillo would give him plenty of time to think of a good punishment for Jessica disobeying him.
Chapter 8
Jessica ran her finger over the plastic that contained the “Ultimate in Bondage Pleasure.” If she was reading it right, the restraints ran from her wrists to her ankles, and the straps could be adjusted so she could be put into any position. Did she want to buy it? Why yes, she did, but she already had a host of other toys in the basket she’d picked up after they’d been here a while. She’d checked on Aurora several times, and her friend had also picked up a basket, but she only had two things in it, both of them dildos.
She took the package off its hook and turned it over to see the instructions on the back. There was a photo of a woman on her knees, her wrists and ankles bound by the straps. Jessica’s mouth watered as she thought about being that woman, whose mouth was open enough to accept a cock. Even though she’d just sucked Hawk off hours ago she wanted to do it again. Yeah, this was something she was going to buy. Maybe she could use it to bribe Hawk out of being mad at her.
She swallowed a smile and was just about to put it in her basket when someone ripped it out of her hand.
“Hey, that’s mine!” She lunged for it, but when the man holding it held it out of her way, fear shot through her. She recognized that movement. It had ended up with her getting four stitches in her thigh. Jessica lifted her head to see Hawk staring down at her, his anger apparent.
“Hey, Sir,” she said. She lifted up onto her tiptoes and kissed him. “Fancy meeting you here.” Her heart sunk when he didn’t answer. A glance around her showed Aurora standing in nearly the same spot she’d been in for more than an hour, laughing as Holt smiled down at her.
“It’s supposed to be a surprise, for their wedding,” Jessica said. “I didn’t know where we were going, honestly.”
“You knew you were coming to Amarillo, though, didn’t you?”
Jessica nodded.
“And you lied to Austin to get here.”
Jessica nodded once more.
“And you didn’t bother to call me and let me know where you were at.”
Jessica nodded a third time.
“Strike three, you’re out,” he said. “Let’s not forget the fact you were supposed to stay at the ranch."
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“So am I.” He glanced down at the basket that sat at her feet. “Going on a shopping spree?”
“Well, I figured as long as I was here, I should buy a few toys.”
“A few?”
Oh damn she was happy to see the hint of a smile on his face. If it hadn’t been there she would be afraid this would be the end of their relationship, and while she wasn’t sure about the L word, she certainly loved the sex with Hawk. And she loved him as her Daddy, although they hadn’t played very much lately in that area.
“Wanna check out my haul?”
“Later,” he said. “Right now let’s check out and head home.”
“You don’t wanna shop with me?”
“Nope.”
Damn. The hint of a smile was gone, and there was a touch of anger in his voice.
“Okay.” Jessica picked up the basket. “I’ll check out, and we’ll meet you back at the ranch.”
“Oh no, you’re coming back with me, and Aurora is going back with Holt.”
She looked over to where Holt and Aurora stood, their bodies close together. They were laughing.
“It’s funny she’s not in trouble,” Jessica mumbled. “This trip was her idea.”
“She’s not being chased by a crazy man.”
“Neither am I!”
Several people glanced their way, and Jessica wanted to melt into the floor.
“We’re discussing vibrator size,” Hawk said to those who were watching. “I say the bigger the better. My lady doesn’t agree with me.”
“Right on, man,” a male voice called out.
“Speak for yourself,” a woman said. “If it’s going in her she should have a choice in size.”
Now Jessica really did want to disappear. She was in the middle of a sex store and she’d helped start an argument with two of the customers.
“Can we go now?” she whispered. She needed to get cash out of the ATM. She picked up the basket and shoved it in Hawk’s chest. He took it and she pushed past him as she heard the couple continue their argument.
She marched to the ATM and withdrew as much money as the machine would let her. Hawk was already at the counter, and the woman was ringing up the items in the basket. He reache
d for his wallet when the clerk gave him the total. Jessica pushed herself in front of him and paid with the cash she’d just withdrawn.
“Have a good day,” the clerk said as she handed Jessica the sacks.
“Yeah, not gonna happen today.” She pushed past Hawk and went out the double doors. She’d thought he would go and talk with Holt, tell him they were leaving, but he was right behind her. As she approached the truck she heard the click of the locks. She opened the back door of the cab and threw her bags inside, making sure to slam the door. Then she climbed in front. He was already behind the wheel.
“I’m thirsty,” she said.
He drove into town and went through a drive-thru, ordering burgers, fries and soft drinks. After he’d paid he handed her the bags and drinks. She ignored the food but sucked down the soda. Jessica kept her gaze glued to the road as he started back toward Bookman Springs. She listened as he dug into the bags and unwrapped burgers. He held one out toward her and she shook her head.
“You’re mad at me,” he finally said.
“You’re treating me like I’m a child.” She kept her gaze on the road. “And it’s not even playtime.”
“Do you think Grant Dobbs killed his mother?”
That thought made her heart seize. She didn’t want to think it, that was for sure. But she supposed there was every chance he did. “Grant never struck me as the type to kill someone. He was under his mother’s thumb, he did as she said, and didn’t think for himself.”
“Exactly,” Hawk said.
“What do you mean by that?”
“If she’s kept him under her thumb all his life, he might finally have snapped.” He turned his head toward her for a few seconds, then focused on the road again. “Think about it. You broke up with him, and you were, for all intents and purposes, the exact opposite type of woman she wanted him to marry.”
“But that was more than a year ago,” she said.
“Yes, but you gave him the ring back, and she’s just now coming around asking for it. Willis tells me he has another girlfriend. This one is more to his mother’s liking.”
“Good for him,” she said.
“Not so good for him if he sold the ring, and now she wants him to give it to his new friend, and he needs a scapegoat to explain its disappearance.”
Her stomach seized again. “I guess I never thought of it that way. I just knew I’d given it back to him, and thought that was the end of it.”
He didn’t grind on her, or tell her why she’d been wrong, and why she should listen to him. Instead he said, “I’ll ask again. Do you think he could kill his mother? Did he ever say anything to you that might have been construed as a threat?”
“Not to me,” she said. “He might have said he couldn’t wait until she was gone a few times, but he never said he planned on killing her.”
“Saying he wanted her gone is the precursor,” Hawk said. “He might come after you to shore up his story about the ring, and, if he did kill his mother, try to pin it on you.”
“I never should have started up with him,” she said. “He’s different than any man I’ve ever been out with. I always love the rugged, cowboy type, like you. He was more of the preppy type.”
“Why did you go out with him, then?” Hawk asked.
“He was a good kisser,” she said. Then she laughed. “Not so good in the sex department, though. I can count the number of orgasms I had with him on one hand.”
“That’s sad.” But she could tell from the tone of his voice that it wasn’t really sad, because it didn’t apply to him.
“Very.” She pulled her straw out of the plastic lid, the scraping sound filling the cab. Then she slid it back in. “I’m sorry for today. I wanted to help Aurora, and I thought you were being overly protective.”
“I probably was, but I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He glanced at her once more. “I love you, Jessica. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be with you forever.”
There it was, words she knew were coming, but she’d never really wanted to hear. She knew custom dictated she should say the words back to him, but they stuck in her throat. Instead she said, “What does forever mean, really?”
“Wow, I didn’t expect that response.”
How did she answer that? “It’s just… I’m just…”
An uncomfortable pause filled the cab until he said, “Just what?”
“Look, I’ve never had a relationship for more than a year.” She moved her straw up and down, and the grating noise fit her mood right now. “I thought you knew that.”
“Until now,” he said. “You and I are soul mates. We’ve fit like jigsaw pieces since we first met.”
“Yeah, but even a jigsaw puzzle that’s put together comes apart at the end,” she said.
“I didn’t expect to hear that, either.”
Instead of moving the straw, this time she took a drink. The cup was close to empty. “You’ve never met my mother.”
“No, and you’ve never really talked about her, except to say she was a good mother.”
“She was. She made sure I had everything I wanted. She spoiled the hell out of me.” She looked out the window. “The one thing she never gave me was a father. If you look at my birth certificate the listing under father is blank, because she had no clue who he was. Or maybe she just didn’t want to tell me, I don’t know. And please don’t say I’m sorry.”
“Okay, I won’t.” He picked up his own cup and took a drink. After he’d swallowed he said, “Where is your mother?”
“Who knows?” Jessica shrugged. “I haven’t talked to her in years. Mom goes through men like water through a sieve. In the eighteen years I lived with her she had at least twenty-five men I called uncle, and that’s only the ones I can remember. She always told me, Jessica, men are good for sex, and for providing money, but never get too close to them. You’ll end up hurt.”
“Harsh,” he said.
“The only man I ever let close to me was Grant, and then I dumped him. Now there’s you.”
“Are you planning on dumping me?”
The tightness in his voice brought tears to her eyes. Instead of holding them back she let them fall. “I don’t want to,” she said. “You’re the only stable person I’ve ever known.”
They were getting close to Bookman Springs now. She expected him to pull in at the ranch, which was right outside town, but instead he drove past.
“But yet you can’t say you love me,” he said.
“I don’t know what that means,” she said through her sobs. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m what you want. If you want to break up with me because I can’t give you what you want, I understand.”
“Horse shit,” he said. “You’re exactly what I want. And I’m not going to give you any of that ‘love means never having to say you’re sorry’ mush. Love means never wanting to be away from someone. Love means the person you’re with is your best friend. Love means accepting a person as they are and not expecting them to change for you. Love is what I feel for you. Love is why I got so angry with you today, because you put yourself in possible danger.”
“I don’t think Grant would go in a sex store,” she said with a laugh, and then she sniffled.
“I love you, Jessica, and that’s not going to change.” He put on his blinker and turned onto Wilson, the street that led to her house. “We just have to teach you how to let go of the feelings you have bottled up inside you.”
“Are you sure you’re not a therapist?” she asked.
He pulled into her driveway and parked behind her SUV. “Maybe, but my treatments are different than most doctors.” He wiggled his eyebrows and she giggled
“I’m sorry I’m crying.”
“What did I say? I won’t give you the mush, but never say you’re sorry for what you’re feeling. That devalues your emotions. It’s always okay to cry if you need to.”
“You’re so smart,” she said.
“Well, now that
you mention it, yeah, I am.”
“And so sure of yourself.”
“Yeah, that too.” He leaned over and cupped the back of her head, pulling her close for a kiss. It wasn’t one that would lead to sex. It was soft, and sweet, and it made Jessica feel gooey inside.
When it broke she said, “I guess I’m going to be punished for tonight.”
“Oh yeah,” Hawk said. “But not tonight. We’re going to go in the house, cuddle and then go to bed. No sex. No punishment. Just us together.”
“Can I at least write in my journal?”
“That’s why I gave it to you.”
They gathered up the trash and went into the house. Once in the kitchen, Jessica realized she hadn’t eaten any of the food Hawk had bought. She opened a sack and peered inside. “You ate it all.”
He shrugged, but he didn’t seem too upset about it. She set about making a grilled cheese sandwich for herself while he went into the living room. When he called out that it smelled good she made a few for him, too. She grabbed a bag of chips from the cabinet and went into the living room where she set the plate of sandwiches and the bag on the table.
“Safer there than on my leg,” he said as he took a sandwich. “You should have used a paper plate.”
“Jerk,” she said, but she laughed.
He didn’t answer, and she asked, “You took me to the Spellman house the other night because you want to buy it, right? For us to live there?”
“And raise a family,” he said around a bite of sandwich. “You’re going to love it when it’s been redone. Trust me.”
“I do,” she said. She trusted him with her body. Now if she could trust him with her emotions, things would be perfect.
Chapter 9
The next day, Jessica felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It was Sunday, and she’d thought they would spend the day together, but Hawk had been called out to help work the scene of an accident. She hoped he would be back during the afternoon so they could look through the toys she’d bought last night, but she also knew there was no telling when he would return. If the wreck was bad enough for the DPS to call for local LEOs, then it might take a while.
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