It had taken me over thirty minutes of sobbing in Porter’s arms to realize that it wasn’t over.
There was only one choice.
And, through it all, we would be together.
As long as we held on to that, we couldn’t possibly lose.
“Yeah. It definitely sucks,” I said softly.
Porter gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “Hey, what do you say we FaceTime Nana and Hannah? They made me promise to call as soon as you woke up.”
“Okay,” he mumbled, shifting in the bed. “Since I didn’t have the surgery, does that mean I can eat? I’m starving.”
“Yeah.” I grinned. “I’ll make sure the nurse gives you the good red Jell-O.”
“Nah, make it green. Hannah loves that stuff.”
Smiling, I walked out of that room feeling lighter than I had felt in years.
And it wasn’t because everything was finally perfect.
Travis was still in desperate need of a heart.
Brady was still being an ass.
Porter was surely going to push the issue of us moving in together.
But, for me, another day brought another sunrise.
And, for the first time in nearly a decade, I was excited for life on the other side of that horizon.
* * *
One week later…
“Hey,” I said, stepping out in the walkway.
Brady froze, one hand on his phone, the other leisurely tucked into the pocket of his khaki slacks. “Hey,” he replied, suspiciously flashing his eyes around the area.
I’d been standing outside the hospital entrance for the last half hour, waiting for just that moment. Brady usually arrived at least twenty minutes early to see his son. I’d been trying to catch him alone for the last three days, but I’d missed him every time. Today, it was now or never.
“Can we talk for a minute?” I asked.
His body tightened as he leveled me with a glare. “I’m not sure we have anything to talk about. Save whatever you have to say for the judge.”
I stopped in front of him and tilted my head to the side. “See, that’s the thing. The judge and I don’t have any issues at the moment. Everything I have to say is for you.”
“Okay, let me rephrase. I’m not interested in anything you have to say. I’m just trying to see my son. So, if you’ll excuse me—”
I shifted my weight between my feet and crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m withdrawing my petition for partial custody.”
His eyebrows shot up, and his chin jerked to the side. “I’m sorry. Come again?”
Yeah. That was basically my family’s reaction when I’d told them earlier that morning. They’d all been certain I was losing my mind. Deep down, I knew I was doing the right thing.
“Travis was four when I first met him,” I announced. “I was on this new health kick and decided I was going to eat all organic and local produce.” I chuckled.
Brady glared at me impatiently.
“I’ll never forget. I was picking out tomatoes when I caught him staring at me. He had these big, brown eyes, but his face was completely blank.” I smiled and cut my gaze down to the ground. “Now, knowing Charlotte, it makes a lot more sense.”
“Can you get to the point?” he grumbled.
I took another step toward him. “The point is I had to build a relationship with him too. What Travis and I have was not a natural thing in the beginning. I had to work for it. Day in and day out, I put in the time to grow something with him. Yeah, he was younger then, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have to earn his trust. I started from scratch, Brady. Just like you. So I know it’s possible. But you’ve lost your fucking mind if you don’t think he feels the tension between us.”
His jaw ticked as he stared at me with an interesting mixture of frustration and rapt interest. “The tension between us wouldn’t exist if you weren’t always in the room…even when you’re not.”
“Yeah, Charlotte mentioned that he’s been throwing my name around with you a lot. And I’m going to talk to him about that. But, Brady, you have to recognize that’s his defense mechanism. He knows you and I don’t get along and he feels like he has to pick sides.”
“And that’s what pisses me off the most. I have to fucking compete with you for even the smallest morsel of his affection.” He pointed at the hospital entrance behind me. “That is my son.”
I threw my hands out to my sides and slapped them against my thighs as they fell. “Then don’t make it a competition.”
He scoffed. “Right. ’Cause it’s just that easy.”
“Yes,” I implored. “It is that easy.”
“Bullshit.”
“Charlotte’s moving in with me,” I announced.
His eyes grew wide and murderous. “What?”
“She’s going to tell you today. And I swear to God, Brady. You give her a single syllable of shit about it, I have no problem going back to jail.”
His eyes narrowed. “So, you two are just going to set up shop, play house, and act like one big, happy fucking family?”
“No. We aren’t going to act like anything. We’re going to be one big, happy family. And this is me asking you to be a part of that family with us.”
“Oh, you got a spare bedroom for me and Steph?” he asked, his voice thick with sarcasm.
I glowered. “Don’t be a dick right now. I’m extending an olive branch here.”
“Well, keep your fucking olive branch. You and Charlotte can do whatever the fuck you want, because when this shit is done, my son is coming home with me.”
I caught his arm when he tried to walk away. “Why won’t you let her be happy?”
“This has nothing to do with Charlotte,” he snapped, yanking his arm from my grasp.
“It has everything to do with her. You’ve spent ten years blaming her for Catherine kidnapping Lucas. She’s paid the price. But I swear to you, Brady, you push this custody issue, you’re going to be the one to pay the price next.”
He tipped his chin up and did his best to get in my face. “Don’t fucking threaten me.”
“I’m not threatening you. I’m stating facts.” I lifted a single finger in the air. “One, the judge is never going to award you full custody. Charlotte’s a damn good mother. And you know it.” I flipped another digit up. “And two, you are going to ruin any possible relationship you have with Travis if you try to push this.”
“You move in with Charlotte and I’m already ruined!” he yelled. “Fuck! You think he’s going to be real eager to come to my house when he has his perfect little family at home?”
“Brady, I’m going to say this one more time. I’m not your competition. You got a wife. You got another son. Make him a happy little family at your house too. People do blended families all the time.”
“But I’m the stepdad in this equation. He looks at me and Stephanie like we’re strangers.”
“Because you are strangers to him. For now. But you have all the tools to make that change. Look, I’m willing to take the first step to make this work for everyone involved. If Charlotte and I are together, there is no reason for us to have to split custody three ways. I’ll bow out in court. But only in court. We have to find a way to make this work because I’m going to be a part of your son’s life from now until the day I die. I’m going to marry Charlotte, Brady. Maybe not today, and if she has any say in it, maybe not even six months from now. But I’m going to do it. And, right now, I’m giving you the opportunity to be a part of that family too.”
He stared at me, his lips tight and thin, his hands fisted on his hips. “What are you asking me to do right now?”
I breathed in deep and held his stare. “Drop your petition for full custody. Let’s show Travis that we’re on the same damn team. You, Stephanie, me, Charlotte, and Travis sit down and figure out an arrangement that works for all of us.” I hooked my thumb at the entrance. “We still have a long road to go in this place. But I think it would do a lot for his mental health
to at least know what was going to happen when he does get to come home.”
“The same team?” he scoffed.
“Yeah, Brady. The same team. His team. You don’t have to like me. But let our son see that we aren’t enemies. He trusts me. Make it so he doesn’t feel like he’s caught in the middle of us. Only then will you have any hopes of building the relationship you want with him. Stop making this about you and me. Or you and Charlotte. We’re all just here for Travis.”
He swallowed hard and raked a hand through the top of his hair. “I don’t know how to do this. No matter what I do, you’re always going to be his dad.”
“Yeah. But so are you. We have a lot more in common than you think, Brady. There’s room for both of us in his life.” I grinned. “I’ll even let you be the cool dad who takes him fun places and allows him to stay up until midnight eating chocolate and drinking Mountain Dew.” I lifted a finger in the air, walked back to the corner where I’d been waiting, and retrieved my bag. “Here.”
He dipped his gaze to the bag but didn’t take it. “What’s that?”
“That, my friend, is a special-edition Minecraft Diamond Ore nightlight. Six months ago, they were forty-nine ninety-nine online. Today, they are two hundred and fifty dollars on eBay.”
“Jesus,” Brady mumbled.
“My thoughts exactly. But he’s been asking for it since the day it came out. And, by the time I broke down and agreed to buy it, you couldn’t find the damn things anywhere.” I shook the bag at him. “Take it.”
He glanced down and shook his head. “I don’t want to buy his affections.”
“You’re not. You’re going to use this to buy mine.”
His head snapped up. “What?”
“Travis isn’t stupid. We go up there and pretend everything is hunky-dory, he’s not going to believe it. If you take this up there, he’s going to know it’s a gift and he’s going to want it real bad, but since it’s coming from you, he’s going to be hesitant. But I won’t be. I’ll go on and on about how much it cost and how they are impossible to find and how cool it is when it lights up for all of ten minutes, whatever. You’re going to go on and on about how you found it on eBay and got into a bidding war with Dan TDM over it.” I paused to repeat myself slowly. “Dan T-D-M. He’s some YouTube personality. Write it down. That’s the part that will win you some cool points.”
He blinked and then slipped a hand into his pocket before pulling a pen out.
“I’m going to thank you. You and I are going to shake hands. And then Travis and I are going to sit on the bed and play with it.”
His head shot back again. “Shouldn’t it be Travis and I sitting on the bed playing with it?”
“No. Because, while I’m sitting there with him, he’s going to be watching you. Everything that comes out of his mouth over the next hour will be a test. He’s going to push your buttons—hard and repeatedly. He’s going to call me dad more than you can count. He’s going to tell all of his favorite stories about growing up. If Charlotte steps out, he might even bring Catherine into it. All just waiting for you to show any sign of anger or frustration.” I leaned in close and lowered my voice. “Show him nothing and I guarantee you the payoff will be huge.”
Our eyes locked in a standoff. I could almost see the gears turning in his head. I had to give him credit. He desperately wanted that relationship with our son. He just couldn’t figure out how to put all the bullshit aside long enough to make it happen.
He sighed but finally took the bag. “I don’t know that I can drop the issue of custody.”
“That’s fine. Just think about it. Play this my way today and I’ll prove to you how good it could be if he felt safe to love all of us.”
He cut his gaze over my shoulder and scratched the back of his head. “I’m not the fucking bad guy here. I want what’s best for my son.”
“We all do. And I can assure you, if we all work together, that best will be better.”
Brady stared at me for several seconds before nodding. “Let’s give this toy business a shot. I’m willing to do anything at this point.”
I smiled.
He glared.
But, in the end, we shared an elevator up to the fourth floor.
* * *
Two weeks later…
“What did you do?” I accused into Porter’s mouth as I slipped the bra straps down my arms.
“Nothing,” he mumbled, trailing openmouthed kisses up and down my neck.
My bra hadn’t even hit the floor before he took my nipples between his fingers, plucking and rolling.
Gripping his shoulders for balance, I threw my head back and opened my legs.
His hand slipped down and popped the button on my jeans open. Then he scooped my panties out of the way before his fingers dipped inside.
“Yesss,” I hissed, teetering on the edge of my desk.
It was after hours and we were there to clean my office out, but the moment the door shut and we had the barest hint of privacy, that notion had quickly dissolved.
After much debate, Greg and I had decided that it would be best to take on another doctor at North Point Pulmonology. Travis was still in the hospital, waiting for a heart, and while I definitely needed more time off to take care of him, the fact of the matter was that I was never going back to work.
At least, not in the same way I’d been working over the last few years.
I had a family now. People who needed and depended on me. People who weren’t my patients. I would never give medicine up. I loved it and it was the only thing that had kept me sane for all those years when Lucas had been missing. But it was time for a change.
My job was never going to be nine to five. People didn’t look at the clock before they got sick. But there was such a thing as balancing my professional life and my home life. I’d decided to cut back on my patient load, and if I wanted to cut back on my on-call hours too, we’d need more help.
Dr. Franklin was an amazing addition to our team, but until we could find a new building for our growing practice, she needed an office. And, because I was extending my leave of absence, I’d offered her mine.
Though, given the clench I was currently in with Porter, I was probably going to need to sanitize the desk for her before I left. But I couldn’t bring myself to care. After weeks of passing like two ships in the night, I wasn’t about to delay that moment in search of a bed.
“Fuck, you’re ready for me,” he breathed, gliding his fingers inside me.
I moaned and pressed my lips to his mouth. “So, let me get this straight,” I whispered, sliding my hand down to his zipper and then over his hard length. “Brady just happened to change his motion from full custody to joint custody one day before we’re slated to go to court?”
“Dear God, are you seriously talking about Brady right now?” he rumbled, stilling his hand.
I moved my assault to his neck, kissing my way up before nipping at his ear. “Admit you had something to do with this.”
“I had something to do with this,” he replied immediately. Then he removed his fingers and snatched my pants down my legs.
“I knew it. Have you been talking to Travis about him too? He’s been so much more open to Brady recently.”
Porter groaned. “Woman, I have not been inside you in five days. For the love of all that’s holy, stop talking about Brady and the kids.”
I giggled, but it morphed into a moan as he freed himself from his jeans and guided himself into my opening.
Reclining across the desk, I arched my back and circled my hips as he planted himself deep. And then there were no more words as our bodies took over and relished in the connection we both so desperately needed.
Over the last few weeks, we’d had our ups and downs. Travis was sick of living at the hospital, but his body was too weak to go home. His frustration was palpable, and he’d started taking it out on all of us. We’d been doing our best to keep him comfortable, but come on…hospitals suck.
&
nbsp; Hannah was also having a hard time adapting to the disruption in her family. She missed Porter and Travis more than her young mind could express, and it wasn’t long before she, too, started acting out. I felt so bad for Porter. He had two children who desperately needed him, but there was only one of him. And, regardless of how hard he tried, he couldn’t be everywhere. I pitched in as much as I could, but there was no substitute for their dad.
And the kids weren’t alone in their struggles to adapt. Porter and I had both taken turns falling into the lows of fear and worry. But, through it all, we’d leaned on each other.
When I broke, Porter was there to pick up the pieces.
And, when Porter lost sight of the light, I was there to hold him in the darkness.
No questions.
No judgments.
No faking it.
No apologies.
Our lives were far from perfect, but the fact that we were living and not standing still as the world turned beneath our feet made it perfect to us.
Porter came on the muffled groan of my name, and moments later, I followed him down in a crash of ecstasy.
“Jesus,” he breathed, peppering kisses over my face and neck.
Smiling, I raked my nails up and down his back. His skin pebbled and he squirmed as I teased at his sides.
“Ya know…I only promised her an office. I didn’t say anything about there being a desk.”
“Excellent call. We can throw this baby in the Tahoe and put it with the couch from my office. I can see it now. The bonus room could become a shrine for all the places we’ve had sex.”
“That wouldn’t be awkward at all,” I teased.
“I have it on good authority that you like awkward,” he mumbled, begrudgingly pulling out of me as he started to soften.
After a long discussion, I’d finally given in and agreed to move in with Porter. It really did make sense. I was still terrified, but it had been next to impossible to tell him no when I could feel his excitement vibrating in the air between us. Since I had until the end of the month to be out, we’d decided to slowly move my stuff into Porter’s house. But, a few days later, I’d learned that the word slow had a vastly different meaning to him. One afternoon, after I’d come home from the hospital to take a shower, I’d boxed a few things up to start the merger of our lives. I’d given Porter my keys and asked him to pick them up on his way home. The next day, I’d walked through my front door to find a herd of professional movers and a nearly empty apartment.
The Complete Darkest Sunrise Series Page 38