JD led the oldest kids to clear the table, then sent them all out back to play in the yard. He led Norah and TJ out there as well, with TJ’s chair barely fitting through the doors. It had gotten stuck on the threshold out the back door, and quietly, almost unnoticeably, JD had simply lifted the wheels over the slat of wood. TJ had noticed, and he stiffened at the help.
In the fading light, they all sat and waited for Kelsey. JD asked about TJ’s therapy. “It goes,” was the only response he was given, before TJ turned the conversation to Norah and her dance studio.
She explained that she’d joined the Houston Ballet after her second year of college, leaving her with an unfinished degree, but an amazing opportunity. She toured with the company, then came to visit her Dad and just never left. The job at the dance studio opened up. The owner was looking for someone to hand it off to, and then her grandfather died, leaving her the bulk of his estate. So she had his horses, and a huge collection of antique saddles, tack and a sleigh and buggy of all things. She also had a lump sum of cash that she decided to use to buy the school.
Just then Kelsey emerged with a bright and happy Baby Amy. Norah stiffened at the sight of the small child watching the world around her. But, as she was a female, she was naturally the first one Kelsey turned to, “Norah, can I ask you to hold Amy for a minute or two?”
Her hands went up, palm out, to ward off the little creature Kelsey was already holding out. “I can’t.”
“Sure you can—”
But TJ was looking at her face, and whatever he saw made him volunteer. “Give her to me, Kelsey.”
The baby was settled into his arms, and he looked like an old, if reluctant, pro at it. He didn’t coo at the baby or talk to her. Mostly he held her as he would a valuable vase, with care but not communication.
Kelsey pulled her husband off into the back room, and Norah looked up. “What? Did they just go off to make out?”
“Probably.” He shifted the baby. “They do that periodically. They’ve been married too long for this shit.”
He didn’t even flinch or apologize for swearing in front of the kids.
Her voice was soft with her next question. “Is it bad?”
He didn’t ask what she meant, just looked straight ahead at the backyard. Norah wasn’t sure what he was seeing, but it wasn’t the kids. “Yeah.”
She nodded. “People will tell you that it gets better.”
“Does it?”
She shrugged. “You’ll find a rhythm.”
Kelsey re-emerged with JD in tow and a grin on her face. “Thank you both, for keeping an eye on the kids for just a moment.”
It was JD who picked up his youngest daughter, smiling at her, making eye contact and holding her above his head.
Norah saw TJ flinch and wondered if he was thinking that was as dangerous as she did. Babies vomited.
But Kelsey laughed and wrapped her arms around JD’s waist. For a moment their world included only the three of them.
Norah’s stomach clenched. She stood up, “Thank you for dinner, and for doing the portraits next year. It’s been wonderful seeing both of you again.” She smiled at JD and down at TJ. “I need to get going. But give me a call and we’ll schedule some time for those portraits.”
Kelsey nodded at her.
“Me, too. I’m calling it a night.” TJ turned the chair and was once again quietly assisted over the threshold by his brother. But Kelsey and JD stayed behind talking.
Norah overheard them.
“Was Lilah as beautiful as Norah?”
Then JD’s answering laugh. “She was fourteen—the hottest thing at Sam Rayburn Junior High. And she does not begin to hold a candle to you, baby.” Then softer, “No one does.”
Norah thought her stomach might turn at the gooey love. She gathered her purse and the lightweight jacket she brought. From behind her came a snort and an under-the-breath, “One of them needs to get something tied.”
Norah laughed. It was rude, to be sure, but it captured her own thoughts entirely. “It sounds like they’re on their way to number seven.”
“Spare me.” He pulled out his cell phone and placed a quick call. But then he didn’t move.
She cocked her head to the side, and he explained. “Waiting for my ride.”
“I’ll wait with you. Want to sit out front?” Quickly she prayed that the porch was level and not a mass of stairs. She hadn’t been thinking about wheelchairs when she came in.
“I thought you had to go.”
“I had to leave,” she corrected, “doesn’t mean I had anywhere to be.” She asked again. “Want to wait outside?”
He shook his head. “Threshold’s a bitch. I’m good.”
“No you’re not. I’ll help.”
“You can’t lift me and this chair.” He looked at her like she was nuts.
So she laughed at him. For a moment he looked like the TJ she remembered. “Not over my head, no, but over that threshold, yes.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Then get your butt over here, wheel boy. And we’ll just see.” She set her purse down and opened the front door for him. He might be right, but the challenge determined her.
She did it. It took everything she had and then some, but she did it. JD had made it look so effortless. But she didn’t say that. Not when TJ clearly didn’t want help, and just as clearly needed it.
TJ positioned himself to watch the sun sink beyond the hills, and Norah took up point, sitting on the top step.
“Your hair is so long.”
“What?” Only as she turned did she realize that he had some of it in his fingers. “Oh, too long.”
“It’s pretty.”
“It’s messy. It has curl, but you can’t tell.”
He nodded at her, clear blue eyes trying to focus on the conversation about the hair, and not notice that he was stuck in an untenable situation. “That I’d like to see.”
She grinned. “Maybe next time. I think I can afford a haircut.”
“That a problem?”
She looked away. “Yeah, the dance school isn’t doing as well as I had hoped. I don’t love it like I thought I would.”
She waited until his van pulled up, then she said good-bye and climbed back into her old sedan, sad that it was too late for a horseback ride.
The following day she got a phone call.
“Norah, it’s me, Kelsey.”
She stifled back the sigh that threatened. Who knew what the woman wanted now?
But she didn’t have long to wait. “You didn’t seem comfortable watching the baby.”
“No.” Where in hell was this going?
“What about grown men?”
“Excuse me?” But even as she asked, Norah understood who Kelsey was talking about. “He doesn’t need a babysitter.”
She was in the process of hanging up, not thinking about the loss of three students, or the portraits, when the voice pulled her back.
“You’re exactly right. That’s what makes you perfect.”
Chapter 8
TJ sat in the middle of his living room staring at his brother. Pissed that JD was staring back. Pissed that JD had the good grace to sit and stare him down at his own height.
“Norah? You are shitting me.”
“No, I’m not. She’s available, she needs the job. You don’t need a real nurse. In a while, you won’t need anyone.” His brother broke the stare to rest his head in his hands. He looked like he was nursing a foul headache. TJ knew that he was the source of it but didn’t think now was the time to give in. “You talked to her the other night. Like you. Like you haven’t talked to any of the rest of us since the accident.”
TJ roared. “That doesn’t mean I want her here!”
“You got a thing for her? You’ve never been attracted to anyone like Norah.”
“No, I’m not.” He didn’t add that JD was wrong. His first serious crush had been on someone very much like Norah: Lilah. “None of this means she should
be here.”
“Then who?”
“Craig.” He didn’t know why that fell out of his mouth. He knew and understood JD’s protest even before he said it.
“You and Craig would kill each other in a breath. And he’s got Shay and the boys. He shouldn’t even be here.”
“Norah’s not strong enough to lift me. If I needed anything, you think I’d holler down the hall for her?”
“I think she’d be great. I think she needs the money. And I think we’re running out of options.” JD looked him square in the face again.
Son of a Bitch.
“Fine.” Maybe she’d run off on her own like nurse number two.
JD just pulled out his cell and called, but unexpectedly he handed the phone to TJ. “It’s ringing.”
“What?” But her voice was in his ear, and asking “Hello?” before he knew what to say.
“Norah?”
“JD?”
“No, it’s TJ.” He took a deep breath in. “JD told me they talked to you about living here.”
“Well, only for a while. End of the summer at the longest.”
“Yeah, something like that.” He hoped that would be the end of it.
“If you want me to.” She paused. “I don’t want to be shoved down your throat.”
He took just a moment to appreciate that. She was the only person in this whole mess who seemed to care what he wanted. Not what was best for him, but what he wanted. The next words came much easier. “I think it’s the best option. Let’s try it.”
“When do I start?”
“When can you get here? I fired Arlen this morning. He was singing Air Supply. Off-key.”
She laughed. “Your property’s fenced right?”
He didn’t know what that had to do with anything, but he answered. “Yes.”
“An hour or two.”
He hung up, handing the phone back to JD. His brother fixed grilled cheese sandwiches, and they ate a quiet lunch together before JD left him to wait for Norah by himself.
For an hour he was the only one there. It happened so rarely that it was a wonder. Inside of fifteen minutes he was bored, and he began to watch his feet for twitches. Somehow this was more interesting than anything else. Even though nothing ever happened.
He heard the gate at the end of the drive. It creaked something awful, but it wasn’t like he was going to get down there and fix it. And he wasn’t going to ask Norah to be his handy-man.
Looking out the window he got a shock. Norah had arrived, atop a brown and white horse. The hooves made rhythmic clops on his paved driveway, and Norah stayed her saddle with a gentle sway in time with the horse’s gait. When she reached the front, she dismounted in one smooth motion. Her foot lifted gracefully from the stirrup, and he understood, of course it did, she was a dancer.
She was tall enough to easily lift her bags from where she had tied them behind the saddle, then she led her horse around to the side. With curiosity, he watched as she undid the saddle and slipped off the bridle, leaving the halter in place. Then she pulled a brush from one bag and began combing down the horse. It had a look on its face of a petted dog. She gave the horse a nuzzle and a pat on the rump before she turned to grab her bags and come inside.
She was startled to see him watching her out the window. “Oh, TJ. I hope you don’t mind my transportation. You’re fenced, and he eats grass. I’ll pick up after him, I should have asked first, I—”
He held up a hand. “It’s fine.”
He showed her to her room, even offering to carry her bags for her. He was far too pleased when she let him. And he laughed when she crinkled her nose at the back room. “Oh, I can’t do this. I can’t live in here.”
She made it sound as though she was going to leave, and he laughed.
“No, TJ. I think I’m serious. That’s disgusting. All those ruffles. Uhhhph.”
“You can do whatever you want with it.”
“Really?”
At his nod she waltzed into the room, and pulled down the ruffles riding the tops of the windows. She peeled back the comforter and shoved it under the bed. She pulled a sham off a pillow before tossing the other two at him to do the same. He obliged while she plucked the doilies off the dresser tops. The cross-stitch eagle came off the wall.
He threw the now naked pillows back onto her bed, and offloaded her luggage there, too. Finally she stopped and looked around. “Okay, maybe I can stay. At least I won’t have nightmares now.”
He laughed again.
She made dinner with the things Kelsey had stocked in his fridge. Meatloaf with peas and French bread. She found them both trays and insisted they eat on the front porch, watching the sunset. Norah sat below him, on the small edge next to the front ramp.
Only as he finished the meal did he see it. “You cut your hair.”
She nodded. “Told you it had curl.”
It did, big loopy ones, even though the hair still brushed her shoulders. It was a true ebony with hints of blue, not like his own deep brown. He would have thought she colored it, but he remembered her and Lilah as kids having that same hair. “It’s a really beautiful color, too.”
“Thank you. I’ll tell my mom, she’s the one who gave it to me.” Norah paused. “Of course, she gave it to Lilah first.”
He laughed. “I never thought of it that way. But I know what you mean. I look so much like JD.”
“Nah. I can see where people would mistake you, but you’re so different.”
He changed the topic. “How is Lilah?”
Norah’s response shocked him. “She’s a slut. Like always.”
“What?” He blinked. “Lilah was the sweetest girl.”
“Oh, please.” She even turned to look at him for that one.
“She was not a slut, she dated JD for three years.”
Norah had been raising her glass of milk to her mouth, and almost managed to drop it. “Oh my god. You don’t know. Does JD?”
“Know what?”
“Lilah only dated him because Mom made her. Mom wanted her dating a good Catholic boy. She wanted them to get married, and make her and your mom grandparents together. But Lilah only did it because it kept Mom off her back. She was running around on your brother the whole time.” She did manage to take a sip of her drink this time. “I thought everyone knew that Davidson girl was a slut.”
“That Davidson girl could also refer to you, you know.”
Norah nodded. “No real harm in the truth.”
TJ was shocked. Those two girls had been at church in white dresses in the front row every week. Their grades had been perfect. Lilah and Norah had both excelled at ballet. “You, too?”
This time she was sheepish. His world shattered.
But she called him on it. “Come off it TJ. Even together we haven’t done the same damage as you. Your slut exploits make the news.”
He laughed. “True.”
“Speaking of, where’s Anna Lee?”
Norah deserved the unvarnished truth. If for no reason other than simply being real.
“Nowhere to be found. She was just a date for events.” He laughed. “And another notch on my bedpost.”
“See? You are a slut.”
Chapter 9
Norah had been doing her research on TJ’s spinal cord injury. And it was either surf the net or go stark raving mad from boredom. It wasn’t like she was even taking him to his therapy. He refused to go.
She hauled TJ out to go grocery shopping one day, more for fun than for food. That’s how bad it was.
What she was learning from her research was that TJ was making his own life worse. He needed to be in therapy. He had a chance at a full recovery. She was armed to the teeth a week later when she confronted him. She waited until he was ready and they were on the porch, then grabbed the keys to the handi-van, as he’d dubbed it. “Let’s go.”
“Where are we going?”
“Therapy.”
“Yours?” He looked at her with that blank
look like he knew what she was doing.
“Yours.”
“Sorry.” He turned away.
“TJ you need to go. You can get your old life back. You just have to work at it.”
His jaw was steel. “And if it doesn’t work?”
“Then at least you’ll be able to say that you tried!” What was wrong with him?
What was wrong with her? For the life of her she couldn’t figure out why she cared. So Norah simply left him there on the front porch. She dropped her keys and her purse and left them where they fell. Walking down the front ramp she decided that she’d just saddle Thunder and ride away.
He called to her back. “It’s not your life, Norah.”
Damn him. Damn him for making her mad. She turned back to face him. “So you’re going to waste yours just to prove that point to the rest of us?”
His tone of voice was a mockery of the words he spoke. “Handicapped people can be a useful part of society nowadays.”
“You need to go to therapy. You don’t have to be in that chair. You can sing with Wilder again. So what if therapy sucks? These sessions will make that possible.”
“Therapy doesn’t work if I don’t cooperate.” His tone again told her he was simply repeating what he’d been told. He’d completely disengaged from the conversation.
She didn’t know where it came from. Only that she was angrier than she had ever been in her life. And she’d been as angry as him once. “How dare you!”
She stormed up the ramp, an avenging angel, or more likely demon. “How dare you waste this chance!” When she was within striking distance, she did. She hauled back and slapped him across the face the hardest she’d ever hit anybody in her life. “You have no idea how much I wish I had another chance. I wish I was you! I wish I was in that chair, that I could fix what was wrong.”
He opened his mouth but she steamrolled him.
“I had a husband and a baby! And they got killed. I would give anything to be able to fix that.” She motioned to his chair even as the tears formed. “I’d take that in a heartbeat. I’d give my legs and my arms, forever, for one more day, one more hour. So you shut up about how bad it is. You stop sitting here and feeling sorry for yourself, you get your sad ass to therapy and fix your problem!”
Love Notes Page 4