by Amanda Faye
I wasn't expecting how strong he was. I'm a big girl, make no mistake about it. While I don't consider myself fat, I'm certainly pleasantly plump, and he held me in his arms without showing any sign of a struggle. It was hot. I've always secretly wanted to be carried like that while having sex. Matter of fact, I went on a diet once when Joe and I were living together just to be able to make that fantasy happen. It didn't. But now I wonder if it's something I could mention to Logan?
He could be dangerous for me. It's best if I face that head-on. I'd never admit that a man could do something better than a woman can, but it's easier for men to have casual relationships than it is for women. It's not conceding defeat to admit that. It's not our fault. It's biology. A million years of evolution have programmed women to have a connection between their hormones and their emotions. So every time I see him, and every time I think about him, I just need to make a conscious effort to shut that side of my biology down.
Hearing him talk about his Goddaughter was unexpected. He didn't say much outside of her name, but his whole demeanor changed when he mentioned her. I made a vow right then never to mention Brandon to him. I mean, I never planned on doing so anyway, but seeing his distinct pleasure talking about his Elli just reinforced the fact. I can't risk Brandon getting attached to yet another man who's going to let us down. I can't risk either of us getting attached.
I'm done with my part of the surgery and am just hanging out at this point because she's my patient, and it would be rude to leave Michelle to finish and close on her own. She's removed the fallopian tube, ensured the patients continued sterility on the other side, and proclaims that Ms. Stephens is good to go.
After thanking Michelle for her assist, I scrub out and head to the locker rooms. I should have been home hours ago, and my mommy guilt is thick tonight, seeing as I haven't seen Brandon proper in a couple of days now. He knows what I do for a living, and is as familiar as anyone with how erratic our schedules can be, but he's not a baby anymore, and I know it bothers him more than he'll admit when our plans change unexpectedly.
There's a hospital envelope taped to the outside of my locker with my name on it, in handwriting, I don't recognize. I pull it off and look around, but the few people in the room with me don't seem to be paying me any attention.
I open it to see it's written on hospital letterhead.
Austen,
You left this morning without leaving me your phone number. Since I'm positive that was an oversight and not done on purpose, I'll give you mine instead. 999-999-9999 I'm sure your patients needed you, and you weren't fleeing from me again. Still, you running away after you blow my mind seems to be becoming a habit.
I had a great time this morning, and thoughts of your ass got me through a boring as hell lunch with Dr. Klein. No wonder Noah hired me instead of just relying on him. He could put Ms. Manners to sleep.
I can't wait to get together again. I hope to hear from you tonight.
Logan
P.S.
I thought about your breasts a lot today too. In a professional capacity, let me tell you they are perfect.
Oh, my God! I look around the room again as if the people in here with me could know what he wrote. It was sealed up tight, but still, I blush as if everyone around me sees what it said.
What is it with this man and his passing notes like a high schooler? He could have just sent me a message through the hospital's inter-messaging system. But then again, better not, if this is the type of thing he plans on writing to me.
Deciding on the fly, I take my phone out and save his number to my contacts. For safety, I add his name as Mexico, then send him a text message.
I had a good time too. You can't leave stuff like that lying around. What if someone read it!?
The text bubbles appear almost immediately.
I'm at my apartment. Can you come over again?
Wow. Immediately I think about messaging Char and telling her that I have to stay at the hospital tonight, then I am disgusted that I even thought of it. Tonight is for Brandon. Besides, better not too much too soon. We need to keep it casual.
I can't tonight. I already have plans. I'll see you around, though.
There. That was perfect. Light and to the point. I am just keeping it casual.
See me around? You can count on it, Austen. You are going to be seeing as much of me as I possibly can.
And by that, I mean my dick.
If anyone else would have said something like that to me, I'd punch them in said dick. Why is it when Logan says it I find myself anxiously awaiting the next opportunity for him to show it to me.
Chapter 10
Emma
There’s a staff meeting today for the surgery department, and I’d rather be in the Amazon with Lizzy and Noah then stuck in a room for an hour with Logan and my brother together. I tried desperately to get out of it, even going so far as to pray to the surgery gods for an emergency appendectomy, or maybe a kidney blockage that the urologist needed help with, but no such luck.
You’d think my brother being the head of our department, and one of the leaders of the hospital would mean that I could skip it and not have to worry about it. But unfortunately, that’s not the way it works. Me being Darcy's sister means that I have even more pressure on me to make sure that I show up on time and with a smile in place.
It’s not that I particularly dislike staff meetings. Quite the opposite truth be told. Darcy is a good boss, and he always makes sure he has snacks on hand to keep the children masquerading as professionals paying attention. But I know that Logan will be there. Just the thought of seeing him walk around the hospital makes me all fluttery like a schoolgirl with her first crush.
I’m afraid I didn’t make it clear enough that I don’t want people knowing about us. Especially my brother. The last thing I need in life is Darcy giving me a hard time about who I’m dating — no, not dating — fucking. The millisecond Darcy sees us together, he’ll know. I don’t think I have it in me to sit next to Logan and ignore him if he tries to interact with me today.
The anxiety I'm feeling over this meeting is bordering on unimaginable proportions, and my heart has been skipping at random intervals since I woke up at five. Maybe if I could understand why Logan affects me the way he does, I’d be better able to control it. But I don’t know, so I can’t. All I know is that I don’t want anyone else to find out about it. Especially my brother
I wish Lizzy were here. She’d be able to shield me from Mr. Animal Magnetism. Of course, if Lizzy were here, I wouldn’t be in this situation at all. That also means my legs wouldn't burn when I sit down, and my crotch wouldn’t ache from all the sex I’ve had the last few days, so I guess everything's a trade-off.
When I’ve dragged my feet as long as I dare, I pull my white jacket on like a coat of armor and start making my way to the big conference room on the administrative floor. Pausing outside of the door, I take a calming breath and attempt to give myself a pep talk.
“We are afraid of no man Emma. You can do this.”
There’s a pair of techs walking by me giving me the side-eye, and I shoot them an embarrassed smile before shoving my hands into my pockets and braving the jungle that is the conference room.
It’s already packed, with most of the chairs at the oval table taken. There’s a scattering of seats filled by the nursing staff and admins around the room, with more standing and talking with their fellow employees. Arranged at intervals around the space are little tables filled with coffee cups and an assortment of donuts and fruit and muffin tops.
Not everyone can be here, of course; after all, this is a hospital. We still need people on the floor. But the majority of the surgical ward of all shifts are shoved into this space. It’s the one time a month when you get to see some of your friends outside of the ten minutes before they’ve clocked in before you’re clocking out. I’m immediately surrounded by the sounds of talking and laughing as people try to squeeze four weeks' worth of catch up in the
ten minutes before Darcy starts the meeting. It makes me miss Lizzy even harder. We’ve been attached at the hip ever since she came back to work at the hospital. I enjoy having a work wife.
My typical seat next to the head of the conference table is open and waiting for me. Usually, a spot of honor, today it feels like an execution chair. Or one for interrogation at the least. While logically, I know nobody in this room could possibly know what I was doing this weekend, except for the man himself, I feel like every conversation must be about my newest inappropriate sexual partner and me.
Trying not to look like I’m looking, I scan the room for Logan. He’s not hard to spot. Already in scrubs for the day, he’s holding court in the corner of the room. That’s the only way to describe it. He’s talking animatedly, using his hands to help tell his story, and there’s a gathering of girls and guys alike, twittering like birds and hanging onto his every word. He looks gorgeous with his hair loose around his face. It’s clean and shiny and gives him just enough of a bad boy vibe to make him irresistible. His facial hair is trimmed neatly, and I kind of miss all the scruff he had this weekend. It left a sweet burn against my skin.
He’s wearing a pair of light blue scrubs with the top tucked into the drawstring pants. They make him stand out even more, seeing as most of our staff favors darker colors. We don’t have a specific brand or color of scrubs we’re required to wear at our hospital, but most of the departments gravitate towards the same vibe. He’s not wearing his doctors' coat, and the muscles in his arms flex and pull as he tells his story.
He should probably wear a larger shirt. It's wrong for it to be so tight against his biceps. The term arm porn comes to mind when I see him run his fingers up and down his forearm as if he’s scratching himself.
One of the younger and prettier PA’s on staff puts her hand on his chest and giggles, tossing her ponytail around. The sight stops me dead on my feet. Hot jealousy shoots spears from my fingertips, and I only resume my path to the table when another late straggler tries to dart past me into the room. I trust him when he said that he wouldn’t sleep with anybody else while we were doing - whatever it is we’re doing. But seeing him openly flirt with other people feels like a knife in my gut.
I can’t tell if he looks up just from coincidence, or if he feels me staring at him. But with Kendall’s hand still on his chest, he looks up and straight into my eyes. With all of his attention unexpectedly on me, the air whooshes from my lungs, and my heart fights to beat out of my chest. He gives me a wink and his evil smirk, then turns his attention back to his court.
With a glance around to ensure that nobody noticed, I slip into my seat next to Esma, Darcy's wife, just as he makes his way through the door.
◆◆◆
“I know most of you have already met him, but let’s take this opportunity to formally introduce you all to the person who is covering Noah’s service while he’s off protecting Ghana from his wife.”
A scattering of laughter breaks over the group, while one inexperienced voice from the back speaks up.
“Don’t you mean that Dr. Anderson is there to protect Dr. Stewart? It’s all very romantic.”
A male voice sounding suspiciously like Sean says, “If you knew Lizzy better, you’d know it’s the world that needs protecting from her. Once that girl sets her mind to something, nothing in heaven and hell better get in her way. I bet she could cure global warming in a week if we gave her a chance.”
Even more, laughter breaks out at that, and I hear comments about shooters and how the smallest packages can sometimes contain the biggest surprises. They’ve only been gone a week, and I already miss her like crazy.
“Anyway, back on track. Dr. Logan Taylor will be with us until our resident do-gooders come home. Let’s give him a warm welcome, guys.”
Darcy starts to clap with the others, and Logan stands in the back and gives a salute to the crowd. When he goes to sit down again, a chorus of “Speak, Speak,” breaks out among his new fandom. An adorable blush climbs up his throat, and it’s a turn on to know that even the unflappable Dr. Taylor can get flustered sometimes.
“Hi, everyone. I’m Logan. I’m in plastics obviously, but whereas Dr. Anderson specializes in burn care and reconstruction, I specialize in pediatric reconstruction, congenital deformations, childhood trauma, that sort of thing. Also, a big difference between us is I do more general plastics, so lipo, body modifications, everything a generalized plastics guy would do. I’ve enjoyed getting to know some of you over the last few days, and I think I’m going to have a great time while I’m here. Thanks for the warm welcome."
He doesn’t look at me once, doesn’t give any indication that he even knows of my existence, but still, my lungs burn at the double innuendo at his words. It may have started on the chilly side, but if I’d have given him any warmer of a welcome, we’ve have melted his bed frame.
Trying not to react to his words, I twist my lips into an oooo shape and count my breathing in and out. I cross my legs, then do so the other way, trying to ease the need pooling in my lady bits.
When Esme leans in close to me, I startle so violently I almost smash my face into hers. Whispering low into my ear, I have to drone out the remaining clapping for Logan to catch her words.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you had better get a grip on yourself asap before your Hermano pins you down and does that Vulcan mind meld thingy I’ve seen you two do.”
The thought alone is enough to settle me back into my seat. Telling Logan to keep this a secret is going to be moot if I give the game away myself.
“Okay, people, last but not least. The first fundraiser of the year is next weekend. EVERY doctor in this room is required to be there, as well as all of the nursing supervisors. There will be two temps here to cover the overnight, and if more is needed, we will have an on-call list. However, being on call will not exempt you from the dinner. It only excuses you from drinking. Except for you, Logan. You don’t have to come.”
“What? Why not? Doesn’t the plastics department need a representative? I don’t mind going.”
Darcy looks thrown off of his game, and I love Logan just a little bit for it. Darcy drags people to these events kicking and screaming. Apparently, where Logan is from, they don’t have that issue.
“You’re welcome to come if you want, of course, but I wouldn't force it on you if you didn’t. It’s a black-tie event, and we have others that will be there to represent your department.”
“Yeah, but with this face and a phone full of before and after pictures of all those adorable cleft palate babies, you’ll be rolling in the dough by the end of the night. Trust me; you want me there.”
He gives an over-exaggerated wink and crosses his arms over his chest in a smug little pose.
The sounds exuding from the peanut gallery this time sound much more like the twittering of appreciation from Logans’ newly appointed fan club than genuine laughter at his disturbingly large ego. If only I hadn’t seen the whole package up close and personal. Then I’d be able to mock him better like my brother is rather than silently agree with the masses that yes, Logan is a God.
“Okay, I’m going to hold you to it then. But back to the dinner. It is black-tie. That means tux or suit guys, and yes, you must wear a tie. Ladies, I would never presume to tell you what to wear. Just make sure you look as gorgeous as you do every year. This is our biggest event of the year. Most of our donors are either still in their new year's resolution phase of wanting to give back more or looking to start the year off right with a big fat tax deduction. Let’s help them do that.
“And yes, before you ask, there is an open bar.”
Rileys Memorial Hospital. We do two things better than any other hospital in the state. Save lives, and drink after we do it.
“We’re not going to have a repeat of last year people. If you are on shift the next day, there will be a two-drink limit. No if’s, no negotiations. Last year we only had two types of people at work th
e day after the dinner, those who were resentful that they weren’t able to drink the night away, and those who regretted that we did. We’re not making that mistake again.”
Caroline steps into the middle of the room with her hands up in a mea culpa sort of pose. “That was me, guys. My bad. I’m sorry I ruined it for the group. I’ll be good this year, I promise.”
Chorus’s of ‘you weren’t the only one,’ and ‘I was right there with you sister,’ echo around the room.
My cell phone vibrates, and across the screen is a text from Logan.
Were you a naughty little doctor last year? Do you want to be naughty again?
Darcy finishes up his lectures and takes a few more questions before dismissing us, but my mind never returns to the conversations.
All I can think about now is being a naughty little doctor with Logan.
Chapter 11
Emma
“Come on, Char! We have ten minutes before we’re going to be late!”
The fundraiser dinner is tonight, and Charlotte has thankfully agreed to go with me. She doesn’t usually do social situations that put her in contact with people from the hospital outside of our group of friends. Char thinks they judge her for walking away from surgery and going into research. After her attack, she just couldn’t work in a clinical setting anymore. I get it. How can you treat patients when you are always on the alert for one to wrap their hands around your throat?
She thinks they judge her for allowing herself to get hurt in the first place. Unfortunately, she’s right, and some of them do. But she’s graciously agreed to be my date tonight, for a multitude of reasons.