Shawn
I read it twice, then carefully fold it and slip it back into the envelope, set it aside, and bury my face in the blanket and let myself have a good, cleansing cry.
Goodbye, Shawn.
Chapter 16
~Shawn~
“Buggering hell,” I grumble before rushing over to the sink to run cold water over my sizzling little finger.
Human flesh doesn’t do well in hot grease.
“What happened?” Maggie asks as she loads her tray.
“Stubbed my toe,” I reply and chuckle when she sticks her tongue out at me. “Wasn’t paying attention.”
“That seems to be the norm for you lately, which has me a little worried if I’m being honest.”
“Oh, by all means, let’s be honest.”
“What are we being honest about?” Maeve asks as she walks into the kitchen.
“Don’t you both have jobs to do?”
“Still moody, I see,” Maeve mumbles.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I press half an onion to the burn, and it immediately starts to feel better.
“Moody and spacey, that’s been you for a while now,” Maggie says. “And you’re here at the pub all the damn time. I thought you had another deadline. Shouldn’t you be at home writing the next cinematic masterpiece?”
“Yes.”
“Then go do it,” Maeve says. “We have things under control here.”
I lower a basket of fries into the grease and flip a burger. I’m here at the pub, day after day, because I can’t fucking write.
I can’t concentrate.
And it’s driving me mad.
“Seriously, what’s wrong?” Maggie asks.
“I always thought writer’s block was a bunch of bullshit,” I reply as I toss a slice of cheese on the burger. “I’ve always been able to power through when I’ve been stuck on something. I take a walk, or talk it out with one of you, or work out. Basically, I just have to clear my head.”
I haven’t had a clear head in a fucking month.
A slow smile spreads over Maeve’s face. “You miss her.”
“Who?” I ask, knowing full well who she’s talking about.
“Jane Fonda,” Maeve says, rolling her eyes. “You’ve been acting weird since Lexi left a month ago. You miss her.”
“Bullshit.”
“She’s right,” Maggie says. But all of the humor is gone. She’s not teasing me now. “It’s okay to admit that you miss her. We all do.”
I frown but don’t reply.
“She was funny, and probably the best kitchen help, aside from Ma, we’ve ever had.” I stare at Maeve, who just shrugs. “Sorry, but it’s true.”
“She’s not dead,” I remind them. “I’m sure she’s still funny.”
And sexy as hell, along with smart and kind and all of the things that make Lexi, Lexi.
“You should call her,” Maggie says.
“Why would I do that? We finished the project.”
And hearing her voice might bring me to my knees. I already can’t concentrate. Talking to her will only make things worse. No, I need to get my bloody head on straight and figure my shit out.
“Is it that you can’t concentrate?” Maeve asks.
“Sometimes, switching from one project to the next is a bitch,” I admit. And it’s true. Shifting gears can be difficult.
That’s what I’m blaming this on.
It has nothing at all to do with a gorgeous brunette with a body made for sin.
“I think you need a change of scenery,” Maggie says. “Why don’t you go to Ireland for a while, Shawn? Go see Ma and Da. Enjoy some time at the inn, walk the cliffs. Your muse is sure to find you there.”
“I can’t go,” I say, shaking my head. “Keegan needs me here.”
“No, he doesn’t.” Keegan pokes his head through the door. “Also, Mary Margaret, I need you to get your little arse back out here.”
“Sorry. Tell Shawn he can go to Ireland for a while.”
She hurries out, and Keegan levels me with that older-brother stare.
“Get out of town for a while, man,” he says. “I’m covered here.”
“By who?”
“He hired a cook this morning,” Maeve says with a smile. “Seriously, go.”
I turn back to the griddle. “I’ll be gone by the weekend.”
“You were right.” I’m grinning down at my sister’s lovely faces. I just video-called them from my room at our family inn along the cliffs of the west shore of Ireland.
I’ve been here for exactly thirty days.
“Of course, we were,” Maggie says. “How is the script coming along?”
“I’m almost finished.”
“Wow, we were extra right this time,” Maeve says.
“Yeah, well, don’t let it go to your head.”
“Say hi to Ma and Da for us,” Maggie says. “And Kane and Stasia, too.”
“I will. You know, you’re both welcome to come out here anytime. There’s more than enough room.”
“Soon,” Maeve says. “Love you.”
“I love you, too. Tell Keegan the same, will you?”
“Sure. Bye!”
I hang up and grab a jacket from a nearby chair. My room at the inn owned by some cousins of mine is more than comfortable, but it’s a little on the small side. Which means, after being here for a month, I’m about to bust out of it.
I have too much crap. Clothes are scattered here and there, shoes on the floor, and the small vanity in the bathroom is covered with my razor and all of the other things a guy uses in the jack.
These rooms are comfortable but not meant to house a person for thirty-plus days.
But I don’t regret being here. Not at all.
Coming here was the right thing to do. I’ve been able to have tunnel vision and focus on my project. Is it because of the extra few thousand miles between Lexi and me? Maybe. But no matter the reason, I’m grateful for it. I needed the reprieve from thoughts of her.
I needed to catch my breath.
And I’ve done that in Ireland.
I hurry down a set of steps, move through the lobby, and meet Kane and Da on the front steps of the inn.
“Sorry, I was talking with Mary Margaret and Maeve, and those two never shut up.”
“They have a gift for gab, they do,” Da agrees with a happy nod. “Let’s get on then, shall we?”
“What are we doing, anyway?” I ask, not sure what my father has up his sleeve for this afternoon. All I know is I was to meet him, along with Kane, at three.
“There’s something I want you to see,” Kane says, leading the way down the lane. We’re on foot, so it must not be far away.
“Did you buy more property here?” I ask.
“No, not yet. Although, Anastasia has her eye on a pretty little cottage down the way that I might get her for Christmas.”
I can’t help but laugh and shake my head. “You have more money than God himself.”
“No, just enough to spoil my bride,” Kane says.
“As it should be,” Da adds. “And it’s proud I am of all my successful children. Every parent wants their child to have a better lot in life than they had. Now, your sainted mother and I did just fine. Just fine, indeed. But we struggled, and that’s the truth of it. So to see all of our children love what they do, and make a pretty penny at it besides, it fills our hearts with pure joy.”
Kane leads us to the barn on our uncle’s property that houses a kiln and all the tools he needs to turn his glass. He rarely shows us his pieces, so whatever he wants to show us must be extra special.
He rolls up the old-fashioned door and flicks on a light. Lined on shelves are pieces of glass in all sizes and colors. They’re absolutely gorgeous.
“Is this for the exhibit in Galway next month?” I ask as I approach one piece in particular that catches my eye. It looks like two figures, a woman and a man, entangled in an intimate embrace.
It reminds me of Lexi.
“It’ll be a Christmas exhibit?” I ask.
“Mid-December through Valentine’s Day,” my brother replies and turns to Da, who’s standing a few feet away, taking it all in. “What do you think?”
Our father shakes his head and wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. “I think there couldn’t be a man in the world as proud as I. These pieces are lovely, Kane.”
“I think so,” Kane says, turning a critical eye back to his work. “I think the curator will be happy, and they should fetch a nice amount of money.”
“Money or no money, you’ve done something extraordinary.”
“Thank you. I also wanted to tell the both of you, privately, some happy news. Anastasia is expecting.”
I don’t know that I’ve ever seen my father’s face shine so brightly as he beams at my brother now.
“That’s the best bloody news I’ve ever heard,” Da says.
“Congratulations,” I add. “When are you going to tell the others?”
“I told Ma this morning. She was bursting at the seams to shout it from the rooftops, but I made her promise to let me do the telling. I’ll call the others in a bit. I wish we were all together for the news, but that’s okay.”
“When is she due?” Da asks.
“In the spring,” Kane replies. “Early May.”
“Fiona will be for knitting a blanket and sewing a Christening gown, of course. We’d better get back and make sure our girl isn’t on her feet.”
“She’s fine, Da,” I reply, laughing at the doting grandfather. “I know it’s your first grandchild and you’re excited, but Stasia is just fine.”
“Taking care of our girls is our job, my son. Don’t you forget that. Now, speaking of our girls, when are you going to get your Lexi back?”
I stare at him as Kane closes the barn door behind us. “She’s not mine to be getting.”
“Love is wasted on the young,” Da mutters in frustration. “I just spoke with her last week. She’s doing very well, but I can hear the loneliness in her voice, and it’s there because you’re too pig-headed to admit that you belong together.”
“Hold on.” I stop walking and hold my hand up, ignoring Kane as he laughs his ass off. “You talked to Lexi?”
“Of course. She’s a lovely woman, and if I was thirty years younger and not married to the most wonderful woman on Earth, I’d be after her meself.”
I narrow my eyes at my father. Kane’s practically doubled over in glee.
“What are you laughing at?”
“You should see your face. Are you jealous of your own father?”
“Don’t be an idiot.”
Fuck. I’m jealous of my da.
I want to hear her voice. I want her to want to talk to me.
Damn it all to hell.
“Do you talk to her often?”
“She calls your mother and me weekly,” he says, pride thick in his voice. “She’s been doing some research for a book and had questions for us.”
Questions I could have answered.
“Now it’s become a weekly habit. We speak every Tuesday evening after supper.”
I sigh and push my hand through my hair.
“How does it feel to know your father talks to your girl, but you don’t?” Kane asks.
“I will kick your ass,” I remind him.
He purses his lips as if he’s giving something a lot of thought. “Nope. Not afraid of you, little brother.”
It seems my reprieve from all thoughts about Lexi is finally over. Thank God the movie I was writing is pretty much finished.
I may never write again.
When we reach the inn, I walk upstairs to my room to check my email before I join the family for dinner. I’m tempted to send Lexi a quick note, just to ask her how she’s doing, but I’m not sure that would be welcome. Based on how distant she acted at the airport when I dropped her off, and the fact that—besides one short text exchange—I haven’t heard from her, I assume she’s not interested in staying friends.
And that’s her prerogative.
I’ll get over it.
I boot up the laptop and open my email, surprised to see something waiting from Luke Williams.
Lexi is cc’d on the email.
Hi, you two! I have excellent news. We are moving forward with the project, and I’d like to set up a meeting in two weeks.
He lists the date and time, at Williams Films in Seattle.
Looking forward to seeing you both,
Luke
Well, I guess I know when I’ll see Lexi next.
I missed Washington. I’ve been home for a few days, am finally settled in, and looking forward to seeing Lexi again.
I’m not nervous.
I’m fucking thrilled to be seeing her. And I’m going to do everything in my power to spend a couple of days with her.
And nights.
My mood is lifted for the first time in weeks—maybe months if I’m being honest—and today is going to be a fucking great day.
I just have to get there.
The ferry seems to be going too damn slow. I can see the Seattle skyline, but it looks so far away.
Lexi is right there. And I’m going to pull her in for a big hug in a matter of just minutes.
It’s like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one.
Maybe I should talk to her about pursuing a more serious relationship. I’ve missed her. We can make the long-distance thing work. We’ll figure it out.
It’s a beautiful, sunny, early winter day in Seattle. The air is crisp, but the sun is nice, reminding me of warmer days spent with Lexi just a few months ago.
I rub my hands together, getting impatient. Doesn’t this thing go any faster?
I frown and glance down at my watch.
Shit. I’m late.
Chapter 17
~Lexi~
I knock on Luke’s office doorjamb and then wince when I see that I’ve just interrupted him kissing the hell out of his gorgeous wife.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt.”
“Oh, please don’t worry about it,” Natalie says with a smile.
“Come in, Lexi. You remember my wife, Natalie?”
“Of course, it’s good to see you,” I say as Natalie pulls me in for a friendly hug. “How have you been?”
“I have no complaints at all,” the other woman says with a wink. “And I have to tell you, you look freaking amazing. Whatever you’ve been doing in Minnesota is clearly healthy.”
“Thanks.” I smile shyly. I’ve come a long way in the confidence department in the past three months, but I’m still shy around strangers. That’s just who I am, and I’m okay with that.
“I know you’re heading into a meeting, so I’ll go. I’m meeting Jules for a late lunch and a little shopping.” Natalie grins at her husband. “Don’t worry, I won’t go crazy.”
“Go as crazy as you like,” Luke says. “You’ve earned it and more. Love you.”
“Love you, too.” She turns her friendly smile to me. “It was good to see you again, Lexi.”
“You, too.” Natalie leaves, and I glance over at Luke, who’s watching the door with a lovesick look on his ridiculously handsome face. “She’s pretty great.”
“You have no idea,” he replies before straightening his tie. “We can go to the conference room. I hope your trip was good?”
“A bit of a bumpy landing in Seattle, but not horrible.”
“It’s always bumpy landing here,” he says. “And thanks for coming in. I know it seems silly to bring you all the way to Seattle for an afternoon meeting, but I like to have everyone here together, rather than try to discuss things in a Zoom meeting. I feel like things get lost in translation, and you can’t always depend on internet connections.”
I smile as he stops at the kitchen to or
der a coffee. I join him, and he continues talking while we wait for our orders.
“It’s okay. I haven’t been on a trip since the last time I was here. I think I’ll spend a couple of days in the city, go to a museum, shop, that sort of thing.”
I’m not going to assume that I’ll spend time with Shawn. I know I’m going to see him today, and I’ve managed to keep my emotions in check. I haven’t heard from him in three months.
The man just isn’t interested.
But I can be professional, friendly, and get myself through the day without making an ass of myself. We can be coworkers.
That’s been my mantra since Luke’s email came in two weeks ago. At first, I was terrified. But I meditated, and once I was thinking clearly, I realized that Shawn and I are adults.
Everything will be fine.
When our coffees are ready, Luke leads me down the hall to the conference room that Shawn and I worked in when I first arrived here. It’s the same sterile space, and I’m grateful that I don’t have to work here regularly ever again.
I glance around the table, but I don’t see Shawn.
“Shawn’s late,” a woman says with a shrug.
“Pretty much a normal thing,” I reply and take my seat. The only empty spot is directly across from me, so I’ll have to stare at Shawn for the next couple of hours.
I take a deep breath, and just as I raise my coffee to my lips to take a sip, the door opens, and in walks the man that has haunted my dreams for three months.
Holy hell in a handbasket, he’s better-looking than I remember.
How is that even possible?
His green eyes scan the room and land on me. Then they darken, and he keeps his gaze focused on me as Luke greets him. He doesn’t even look away as he takes a seat across from me.
I’m the first to look down at the paper in front of me as scenes from our time together flash through my mind. Laughing and talking. The incredible sex. The days walking the beach, and our time at the cabin. Helping his family at the pub and spending time with his parents.
I still talk to his parents. Weekly, if I’m being honest. I adore them. Besides my time with my mother, the regular chats with Fiona and Tom are my favorite part of the week.
Imagine With Me: A With Me In Seattle Novel Page 15