“It has charm,” Blaise, my ever-optimistic boyfriend said while winking at me. I was immediately reminded of the rundown motel where our bodies collided when we first reunited, and I blushed. It really wasn’t bad. A large king-sized bed took up most of the space with two red nightstands framing it. The bathroom had a large bathtub I didn't trust to be clean enough to soak in, and the entire building smelled like tobacco and soap.
“I’ve seen worse,” I commented. At least we had a place to sleep. Being homeless in winter was something I didn’t plan on ever doing again. Callum tested the strength of the lock, pulling on the door before closing the curtains where Gavriel had been staring outside.
“We can stay for six hours—max. Get some sleep, clean up, then get the hell out of here. I don’t feel like stopping is a smart idea, but we will make do with what we have,” Callum said before scratching the scruff of his dirty blond beard. I liked how he was growing it out. Agent Mercer was starting to look like a bad boy...and I definitely liked it. Maybe I had a type?
“I saw a department store up the road, I’m going to grab us some more clothes,” Blaise eyed me mischievously, trailing his gaze along my oversized outfit with glee.
“Remember that the idea is to be inconspicuous, Casanova,” I replied with a smile, already picturing the ridiculous outfit he was planning on buying for me, something likely to show enough skin to freeze my ass off in the northern winter.
He stopped at Gavriel, holding out his hand. My sore mob boss plopped a small wad of cash in his palm. “Well, darling, there’s the problem,” Blaise said while sauntering towards me. “It’s nearly impossible for people as good looking as the two of us to not turn heads. Even now, I can’t stop looking at you,” Blaise cooed before waltzing up to me and planting a kiss on my cheek. “See you in a few,” he added before leaving.
Gavriel watched Blaise leave as Ryker positioned himself at the windows beside him to keep watch outside. “I need lotion,” Gav said in a gruff tone while adjusting in his seat. I went to the grocery bag which held his pain meds and the other necessities that Joe managed to grab for us. I pulled out the bottle and approached him.
“I can apply it,” I said in a soft voice, knowing that this was something Gavriel struggled with. Back in Vermont, he wouldn’t let anyone else but the nurse view his back. I quickly looked at Callum, who was staring at his hands in his lap like they could spark a fire if he looked long enough. “We can go to the bathroom?” I offered.
“Fine,” Gavriel replied tersely. “Let’s get this over with.” He then stood much quicker than usual, probably fueled by his frustration with the situation. I’m sure being jostled in the car chase made things more uncomfortable for him.
That pesky question was at the tip of my tongue again, begging me to pour my concern out in his lap. He headed towards the bathroom, and when I went to follow after him, a hand on my shoulder made me pause. Turning, I greeted Ryker with a weary smile.
“Call for me if you need anything,” he offered before gently kissing my lips. I lifted up to press against him harder, prolonging our kiss for five heartbeats of passion before pulling away and following after Gavriel.
The bathroom was tiny, barely big enough for the two of us, with a faucet dripping water that sounded like my shallow breaths, tentatively falling into the sink below.
Gavriel pulled the grey t-shirt he was wearing over his head, the fabric covering up the inevitable pained wince on his face at the movement. He faced me, allowing his back to show in the bathroom mirror’s reflection. We were positioned so that he could watch my face twist up in disgust or pity. I didn’t know how to react. I knew that pretending to be neutral would be a lie, and Gavriel Moretti didn’t like liars.
I knew that if I gasped or let the tears threatening to overflow fall, then he’d hate himself and put even more distance between us. So instead, I did what felt natural. I focused on the lotion bottle in my hand and put it in my palm, wishing that I could hear what he was thinking at that moment.
I walked forward, grazing my nose against his chest and breathing in his vanilla scent before nuzzling into the crook of his neck, wrapping my hands around his back to rub the lotion in.
“Kiss me,” I pleaded, hoping he could hear the desperation in my voice and finally give me the full physical intimacy I craved. I rubbed the lotion up and down his dry skin, which felt hot to the touch. Gavriel didn’t move at first, he simply sunk into my cool touch on his back.
I could feel the raised grooves of the scars covering his skin with the pad of my fingertips. “Kiss me,” I asked once more, cursing him for being so difficult. Couldn’t he see how much I wanted him? How much I needed him?
I knew the back of his legs needed lotion as well, so once I was sure that there was nothing left on my palms, I dipped lower and unbuckled his pants, pushing them over his hips and pulling them over his muscular thighs as I sunk to my knees.
I looked up at my badass mobster that once had the world at his feet. Now he only had...me. My eyes were hooded with desire as I peered up at him with bedroom eyes, licking my lips as I nuzzled his cock, which was still hidden behind his black briefs. He couldn’t conceal the full erection building behind the fabric, though.
I reached up then and pulled his underwear down, his full dick springing forward and bumping my cheek. It coated my skin with a few drops of precum.
I licked him, tasting his salty skin while I worked the lotion into my palm. Feeling him shudder at my touch was addictive. I wanted him to fall apart with me, here in this bathroom. I began rubbing the back of his legs, worshipping him with my mouth as I stared up at him.
“Sunshine,” he gritted out. “If I had known this was how you liked to take care of me, I would have fired Courtney ages ago,” he said before mouthing a silent fuck as I kissed the head of his cock and rubbed in the last of the lotion.
We both stared at one another for a moment, not sure where to go next. “Stand up,” he demanded in that gravely tone. The moment I was back on my feet, he grabbed behind my neck and thrust our lips together, our sensitive mouths colliding with sweet pressure. I moaned against him and cried out when he wrapped his muscular arm around me. “You little vixen,” he said before spinning me around.
He placed his other hand on my back before pressing me down to the bathroom floor. “You want me to fuck you in this motel bathroom?” Gavriel asked loudly, and I knew that Callum and Ryker could hear us.
“I want you anywhere. Everywhere,” I replied before quickly shimmying out of my pants and underwear. Once I was bare, he braced the head of his cock at my entrance, guiding it along my slick folds as I held my hands on the floor to steady myself.
“I’m trying to hold back my anger, Sunshine.”
"Maybe I don't want you to hold back your anger," I replied in a hushed tone as he teased at me, rubbing along my ass and tempting me with filling me up.
"I know this isn't your fault, Sunshine. I know that when I decided to fall in love with you that I'd take your burdens. So why do I want to control you in the worst of ways? Why do I want to punish the only damn person in this world I love?"
I swallowed, knowing that I was practically dripping with the lust coursing through me. I should have been terrified of the direction this was headed, but this was what I wanted, wasn't it? I wanted Gavriel to open up and tell me what it would take to make him better.
"We lash out most at the people we know can take it. Sometimes we're cruelest to those we love because we're confident that they'll see the ugliest sides of us and never leave," I said.
Gavriel ran a finger down my spine, making my skin pebble. He didn't speak for a moment, he just stared at my skin, taking in the soft slopes of my body with interest before making me stand up and face him.
I saw the decision in his eyes. I knew then that he wanted me, that he was ready to close that final distance between us, fill me up and push my limits. I braced myself for the inevitable. I licked my lips, waiting for his tongue to str
oke against mine.
Here, in this disgusting motel bathroom, I was prepared to swallow Gavriel’s bitter opinions of himself. I wanted to pull the doubts he had from his body, internalize it, and make him whole again.
"I know you want my anger," Gavriel whispered before tucking my hair behind my ear and cupping my cheek. "I know you could take it, too. But I need something from you first," Gavriel said with a sad sigh, and I wondered if I messed up, if I pushed him too hard. "I want you to take what you crave from me and give it to them," Gavriel whispered before slowly bending over and pulling up his slacks.
My mouth dropped open in shock. After buttoning his pants, he opened the door and left me standing there, wanting him more than I've ever wanted anyone, but knowing that he wouldn’t do a damn thing about it.
My heart raced with anger and leftover lust. I left the bathroom and looked to Callum who was lying on the bed, hard as a fucking rock and staring up at the ceiling with his hands above his head. I knew that he had heard every dirty little thing that Gavriel said. I could practically feel the hope rolling off his washboard abs, the anticipation nearly suffocating all of us in the room.
Ryker was still at the window, peering outside, but his fists were clenched at his side. For a moment, I wondered if he was jealous of Gavriel and me. Pretty soon he opened his mouth, answering my unspoken question. "Last time I left her unsatisfied, you nearly killed me," Ryker observed before reaching into his pockets and pulling out a cigarette.
Gavriel didn't respond, and Ryker took a slow drag before leaning against the wall, watching me. Everyone was expecting me to do something, to set the pace.
“She knows what she has to do if she wants me,” Gavriel answered with a shrug.
“I didn’t realize I had to bargain for affection,” I replied through gritted teeth, hating him a little for making me feel inadequate.
“You don’t want affection, Sunshine. You want a hard fuck.”
“I thought you said you’d give me all the things I want!”
“You don’t need this—you don’t need me!” Gavriel roared. Ah. There it was. The real reason Gavriel couldn’t take things further with me. The root of all our issues. Gavriel Moretti didn’t think he was good enough.
I stormed forward, rearing back and slapping him on his scarred cheek. “Fuck you, Moretti. Stop holding back on me. Get mad. Get fucking furious. Take it out on me. Control me,” I cried out.
I lunged forward, kissing him so hard I could taste blood. I bit down on his lip, vaguely hearing the door to the motel open and close as I ripped the shirt from his body and yanked his pants down. Callum and Ryker were gone. “You want me, Sunshine?” Gavriel finally asked, his voice low and deadly as he stalked towards the bed, guiding me to the mattress.
“Show me the person you’ve been hiding behind your scars, Gav,” I said, keeping my voice even, though I wanted to cry from relief. This was the Gavriel I knew. Deadly and loving, my perfect contradiction. The devil in a suit.
“Bend over,” he ordered, and I immediately obeyed. He pulled my pants down just enough to allow him access, but not completely off. “You don’t deserve my cock, Sunshine. Slapping me like that. Under different circumstances, I’d make your ass so red you couldn’t sit for a week.”
“I’d like it,” I replied honestly.
“You say that now.”
I was so fucking on fire for Gavriel Moretti. It was the only heat I could stand since the church. The way he slid inside of me was rough and unapologetic. He held onto my hips as I braced myself against the bed, gripping me so hard that I knew bruises were pooling beneath my pale skin in the size of his fingertips.
He fucked me hard. He pushed past his pain. He didn’t let me see his expression, but for one fleeting moment, I didn’t care that he was hurting. I didn’t feel the need to ask if he was okay. I just wanted to feel his cock stretching me.
He pulled out and pushed me entirely on the bed, my arm knocking off the bedside lamp in the process. It shattered on the floor, but neither of us cared. “On your hands and knees, Love,” he ordered, and I quickly obeyed, missing the feel of his thrusts. He positioned himself behind me and entered me slowly, teasingly slow. Pulsing but keeping still. I squeezed my walls, encouraging him to press deeper, but still, he didn’t move.
“Fuck me, Moretti,” I cried out, begging for him to punish me.
It shocked him out of whatever trance he was in because he started thrusting again, punishing me with pleasure. “Every time you asked if I was okay, I wanted to wrap my hands around your pretty throat, Love,” Gavriel said before threading his fingers through my long hair and pulling back with a sharp yank. I winced in pain. “Every time you looked at me with pity, I wanted to make you bleed.”
He leaned forward slightly with a grunt and bit into my shoulder, drawing blood with a sharpness that made me cry out.
His thrusts grew more and more merciless, pounding into me so hard my knees were shaking. I could feel the orgasm coming, knew it was just at the end of this beating. “And now, when you saw my broken body but still looked at me with love,” Gavriel began in a whisper, fucking me so hard that the bed began to shake. “I wanted to end you.”
The blood roaring in my ears was building, building. I was so close already, so responsive to his cruel words and harsh hits.
He came hard. It was a fast and unforgiving thing, pulsing as he moaned, crying out my name as I took it all. I took his pain. His resentment. His hate. His anger.
I took his control. And at that, my own orgasm broke out of the cage I’d put on my emotions since the night of the fire. I cried, tears of joy and fear mixing together in pools on my cheeks. “Yes,” I said, my hoarse voice a whisper as I rode the last waves of the moment.
He slowly pulled out and got off the bed. I flipped over on my back, calming my breathing as I stared. Gavriel stood a little taller. His body didn’t look frail as his heaving chest moved up and down. I bit down on my lip, promising myself to never again ask if Gavriel Moretti was okay.
Chapter Fourteen
We made it to Indianapolis in record time and luckily didn't run into any more assassins trying to kill us. The white minivan that smelled like feet and french fries concealed us well. Blaise made sure to stick to crowded roads, and although we tried to keep the tone light and nostalgic, by the time we made it to the city, we were low on cash and morale.
Gav was the most frustrated. It was hard for him not to be able to flash a credit card and have anything he wanted. Gavriel Moretti worked hard for his empire, and not having access to the benefits was making him anxious. Even though he seemed less burdened by his injuries after our healing fuck at the motel in New York, each day that we were on the run made his shoulders slump more and more.
"How long do we have to stay in this dump?" he asked with a growl while looking around the motel we’d been holed up in for the last two days. Clothes and junk food wrappers littered the floor. I eyed the bottle of pain pills on the table, calculating how long we had until we’d need to get him more. Five, maybe six days.
"Until the cash runs out, which will be about any day now unless we find some ways to make money," I said. I bit my dry lips to stop myself from offering up some unsavory solutions. I was well acquainted with quick ways for collecting cash, none of them appropriate options considering how completely possessive my boyfriends—or whatever I should call them—were. Stripping was off the table. Literally.
“And then what?" Callum asked. He seemed to be walking a thin line between closing the distance between us and completely pulling away. He kept looking longingly at me from across the room, and I kept asking myself why I was punishing us both. We’d talked things out. I’d forgiven him, and he’d more than atoned for his part in harming Gavriel. I just didn’t know how to initiate.
At first, I thought I was hesitating because of Gav. It felt wrong seeking comfort from Callum while he was healing. But now, Gavriel was practically throwing me into Agent Mercer’s arms, and y
et I still hesitated. It would be easier if Callum would just take what he wanted from me.
"We need to stay here long enough to keep them guessing, but not long enough to be discovered,” I said. I was staring at the instant coffee in my styrofoam cup, willing something that didn’t taste like dirt to magically appear. Funny how quickly we get used to the luxuries of life.
Blaise was lounging on the stiff mattress, the rough bedding scattered around him. He was the most at ease out of all of them, going with the flow. He was seemingly comfortable with the shady places we were staying and the lack of a plan. He was always a free spirit though. And as a bounty hunter, Blaise was used to hiding out in strange places with little comforts. It was all part of scoping out his target. "And why can't we go now?" Blaise asked.
I let out a sigh, choosing not to scream at him for asking the same question for the millionth time. Even though he was comfortable with our current situation, he was still antsy to leave again. Blaise Bennett was a master at catching people, and he understood that staying in one place for too long was the quickest way to get found.
"Because we have to assume that they're expecting us to show up there. Grace said that Santobello was frantically searching for Alessandro’s mother, which means he wants to get to her first. I’ll bet my ass he’s got eyes on Gavriel’s dad. Hell, he’s probably already paid him a visit to get information."
“Oh Babe, please don’t bet your ass. If you lost it, I’d be devastated,” Blaise pouted. I laughed, but the smile didn’t feel like it belonged to me. I had been distracted for the last couple of days. My heart was begging me to go to the motel lobby and send another email to the emergency address Nix gave me back when we established our code word.
Aside from a short email that said he was keeping an eye out for bounty hunters and assassins on Santobello’s payroll in the area, he hadn’t reached out. I wondered what was happening and worried about him and Grace.
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