"Shit. Thanks for letting me know." Ryker then took the phone and slammed it onto the ground before crunching it under his bare foot. Ouch. At that, the rest of my sleepiness and satisfied mood from the night before vanished.
"What's going on?" I asked. Gavriel slowly eased his legs over the edge of the bed just as the bathroom door opened, where a freshly shaved Callum strolled through, steam billowing up behind his back as he clutched a towel around his hips. If I weren’t so terrified of what that call meant, I would have gotten up to trail my finger along the V dipping beneath the towel.
"That was the fight organizer. He said a couple of men came there asking about us. The only reason he gave me a heads up is because he is a fan of mine, but I wouldn't hold it against him to tell them eventually. We have exactly ten minutes to get out of here," Ryker said before running to the bathroom to brush his teeth. I followed after him, jumping in the shower and washing my hair and body within two minutes flat.
When we emerged from the bathroom, everyone else was already getting ready. Gavriel was hunched over, leaning on the small kitchen table in our room. The moment he saw me watching, he grabbed a white pill and placed it on his tongue, once again swallowing it whole and dry.
Blaise was outside with Callum, switching the license plate tag to an older car that Blaise hotwired—a 1998 Honda Civic. He assured us that these things ran forever.
“This could be a good character building exercise for Gavriel. He’s gotten spoiled over the years,” Blaise said with a smile as we loaded up the trunk with our belongings and squeezed into the car.
“What use is character building if we’re dead? We need something with more room that can withstand a crash,” Callum said while punctuating his point with a well-placed sigh of disapproval. The implications of that immediately sobered the playful mood.
We loaded into the car, me in the middle back seat, squished between Ryker and Callum, who were peering out the windows.
Maybe it was wrong, but I was somewhat thankful that Santobello’s men were crashing our little party. I wasn’t sure how everyone would react the morning after our intense night. Now that we weren’t in the moment, would there be regrets?
Ryker placed his bruised hand on my upper thigh, stroking my jeans as he kept an eye out. As Blaise pulled out of the parking lot, he turned on nineties country music just to really fuck with Gavriel.
I felt a hand under my chin, and my face was pulled towards Callum, who was looking lovingly at me. “You look beautiful today,” he said before bending down and kissing my lips in that slow, adoring way I’d come to expect from him. When he pulled away, I struggled to open my eyes, feeling dazed from his touch.
Would I ever get used to this feeling? Callum was comforting me, and I knew that in any other circumstance, my men would have spent all morning making sure the group dynamic was still intact and that I felt secure. Eventually, we’d get that.
I’m sure I looked tired too. “You’re a terrible liar, Callum,” I said before kissing him one more time for good measure. “But I’ll accept the compliment all the same.”
My hair was still wet, nearly dripping from how quickly I had to get ready. I was wearing a white tank crop top paired with a thick sweater that was incredibly inappropriate for winter in the northeast, but Blaise had selfishly picked it out. Since the moment he discovered my navel ring, he determined that it had to be on display at all times.
“Where are we going?” Blaise asked while dodging a slow driver and heading towards the freeway. I waited for Gavriel to answer, but instead, he slowly twisted his stiff body to look at me.
“What do you think? You’re the expert at keeping hidden,” he said to me, the ghost of a sad smile on his lips as he took in my expression.
“I think that we should go to your dad. Find out where Alessandro’s mom—Lilly Russo—is and get some blackmail. It’s about time we did things Callum’s way, I think.”
“And what exactly is Callum’s way?” Ryker asked.
That was the thing, I didn’t exactly know how we were going to execute it without giving up Gavriel. We couldn’t go to the cops unless the evidence we had was exclusive to Santobello. Callum was on leave from his job. In fact, I wasn’t sure he had a job to go back to.
“They think I’m deep undercover,” Callum said with an exhale. “When the time comes, I plan on going forward with evidence that will bring Santobello down. He’s got too many men in power in his pocket though. We just have to hope that Alessandro’s mom has enough information to put them all away.”
“Where is your dad in prison, Gav?” I asked.
“Manhattan,” he replied with a frown. Fuck. Santobello’s territory was swarming with his men. We’d be caught and killed within minutes.
“Callum, do you think you could get both of us in? Surely Santobello wouldn’t risk going after a federal agent? You and I could speak to Mr. Moretti, get the information, and leave.” Blaise sped up on the highway, running his hand through his hair as the old car hummed in agitation as if it hadn’t been forced to go faster than fifty miles an hour since Bush was in office.
“It would be easy, but prisons are full of Santobello’s men. Eyes everywhere,” Callum answered. “The best I could do is get a private interrogation room.”
“That will have to do,” Gavriel said with a frown. “Guess it’s not so bad to have an agent or two in my pocket. I can see why Santobello has so many on his payroll.”
Callum turned his attention out the window. Apparently, he was still struggling with straddling the sides of the law with both feet.
“Where will we hide in New York?” I asked, changing the subject while reaching out to grab Callum’s hand. I wanted him to accept himself wholly but also appreciated the goodness within him. The parts that weren’t forced.
“I say we hide somewhere while you and Callum go,” Blaise said.
“And you’re okay with me going?” I asked Gavriel, hanging on to his every word while thinking back to what Mrs. Joe said.
“Callum will take care of you,” he began, and I nearly clutched my heart. Slowly, his injuries were chipping away the compulsive control issues he had and revealing the man that trusted his friends beneath. “And my father has a weakness for pretty girls. Maybe if you introduce yourself as his daughter-in-law, he’ll be more forthcoming with the information. The man is a true Italian, been wanting grandbabies since I was born. Even if he has nothing to do with them, the principle of the matter will please him—or at least soften the blow about his empire completely crumbling.”
I smiled, feeling conflicted about Gavriel’s relationship with his father. On the one hand, he seemed to admire the man, but there’s an edge of resentment, too. “You do realize that we aren’t actually married, right?” I teased.
“You do realize you’re mine, right?” Gavriel replied, and the car went silent, the only sound we could hear was Blaise humming along with the old country tune I didn’t know the name of.
“How are you feeling after last night?” I asked Blaise after the silence started to become uncomfortable. I cringed when I realized I didn’t specify that I was asking about the fight, and Blaise rewarded me with a broad smile in the rearview mirror.
“Sore. Very, very sore. But last night’s activities helped me sleep like a baby.” I could feel the rest of the car rolling their eyes, and I bit my lip to hold back a laugh.
“We need more guns,” Gavriel said, changing the subject. “I know someone in the city.”
“Blaise?” I said, thinking over everything. If we were heading to Manhattan, we should take the train. It was a public space, and we were less likely to run into any trouble. They probably wouldn’t think that we’d head towards the danger. “Turn around. Let’s head to the train station. It’s a two-hour ride to Manhattan, and with the way this car’s motor is crying, I think we have less of a chance of being stranded if we get out of it as soon as possible.”
Ryker wrapped his arm over my shoulders and pulled
me in to rest on his chest. “Never thought I’d be thankful for your abilities to hide, but here I stand corrected,” he said with a small smile.
Chapter Eighteen
Callum
My body felt heavy; the cheap wine I was drinking settled into each of my veins like my body was its new permanent home. I sat next to Gavriel on the train to Manhattan, knowing that I should keep sober and watch over him, but I’d been on high alert the past four weeks, and I needed a quick buzz to stop the fucked up thoughts entering my mind.
Could I just have one day where I wasn’t thinking about what happened?
Fire. Fucking fire. Blood and brains and more blood scattering little fucked up droplets on my lips. Killing Paul Bright made me realize why he enjoyed killing.
Why did I enjoy killing Paul Bright?
I grabbed the armrest beside me, feeling Gavriel’s eyes on my white fist as I tried to steady my breathing, feeling that fucking bloodlust flowing through me like the tempting drug it was.
It was just him. I didn’t suddenly have a type and plan for murdering innocents. But damn, if I could do it again—consequences be damned—I would. Guess I really did fit in with the Bullets. I was just as destructive as the rest of them.
“You okay there, kid?” Gavriel asked while running his index finger along the red scar on his cheek, reminding me that these thoughts had consequences and I needed to get my shit together. I took another sip of wine, hoping the cart would pass by again with another glass.
“I’m fine,” I grit out through clenched teeth. Sex with Sunshine, sharing her with the other men wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d thought. In fact, I hoped to do it again, and soon. Mainly because I was so focused on her pleasure that it was the first time since the fire that I didn’t think of her father’s blood coating my hands.
“You look terrible. Worse than usual,” Gav said while keeping his eyes on Sunshine. She was leaned back in her seat a few rows up, sitting next to Blaise who was making her laugh. I was damn thankful for him, keeping the mood light and that beautiful smile on her face. I didn’t know how he did it.
“She looks happy,” Gav said, his voice holding a tinge of awe like he couldn’t believe the wonders hidden in her smile.
“Yep,” I replied in a curt tone before downing the rest of the wine, hating that I wasn’t drunk yet.
“It’s about time you fall apart. Was it the sex or the fight that’s got you all fucked up right now?”
I swallowed, not knowing how to tell him that it was the fight—the blood. “Shut up, Moretti. For once, can you see a man bleed and not twist the fucking knife?”
Gavriel looked at me, a sinister smile on his lips. “It’s exhausting, isn’t it?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Taking care of everyone. Thinking ten steps ahead of what everyone needs.”
I choked out a laugh before setting the empty glass down and twisting in my seat to look at him. “Yeah. It's fucking hard. Why do you do it?”
I’d been trying to coordinate our little group since the fire. Juggling taking care of Gavriel while not pushing him too far. Giving Sunshine time with the others, even though I wanted to track her down and force her against the wall before fucking her until the entire train knew my name.
“I know what happens when you don’t have someone looking out for you,” Gavriel replied cryptically before sucking on his water bottle. I wasn’t sure if it was emotion making his voice go hoarse or the residual scarring from the burns.
“Something that made you a control freak?” I prodded. I wanted to know. I’d gone through several units of training, I could spot a victim of assault a mile away. Moretti might seem like a hard ass, but I knew better. He was like all the other kids I saved on the trafficking unit I worked for.
“You want me to hold your hand and tell you how a junkie raped me as a kid, Mercer? ’Cause if you’re hoping we can be friends, that's probably the worst way to go about it. How about you go back to juggling being envious and hating me.”
I swallowed, not expecting him to be so candid. These Bullets didn’t hold back punches. And he was right, it didn’t make me feel any better knowing for sure what had happened to him.
“Did you want to kill him?” I asked. I didn’t bother offering condolences or sympathy, it would just piss him off more.
“I did kill him.”
“Was it enough?”
Gavriel smiled like he’d just figured me out. “You got some bloodlust. It wasn’t enough destroying Bright and me. You want more.”
“Fucked up, right? The only time I wasn’t thinking about it was when we were with her.”
Gavriel went quiet, looking at her with an expression that looked like love, toxic and twisted for sure, but still love. Was that what I looked like? “Yeah, she has that sort of effect on me, too.”
“So what should I do?” I asked. It was kind of nice to not feel like a fucking psychopath for a second. It was also nice to have a real conversation with Moretti that didn’t make me feel like I had to pretend to regret what I did.
“First? You stop looking at me with that fake ass puppy dog look on your face. Own what you did, Mercer. You wanted to stay. You wanted the consequences. I accept what happened. I don’t have to forgive you or explain it. Own your shit.”
I nodded, relief flooding me. “Second, you let me do the taking care of again. I appreciate you stepping up while I recovered, but I’m slowly coming back to myself, and I do a damn good job at being the leader of this group.”
He was right. It was exhausting. “Okay.” My response wasn’t eloquent, but it got my point across. Shit had changed so much.
“Lastly, you fuck the bloodlust out of your system. Go grab her hand and find an empty space. Then if it gets worse, you call me. I’ve got a list of enemies a mile long.”
My grip on the armrests could have stopped the train with how hard I was holding it. My fingers burned. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? Was I always going to be like this?
“I’m not against murder. I’m against hurting innocent people and anything that harms Sunshine. I don’t judge how you work through your shit, Callum. I’m still working through mine.”
I stood up, shuffling by him before nodding, a single gesture of solidarity. I wasn’t so sure I’d take him up on that, but knowing I had the option made my pulse slow to a calm acceptance of my new normal.
I walked over to Sunshine, ignoring Blaise’s smile. He had looked down at my crotch, probably seeing that I was rock hard. “Sunshine, come with me,” I said while holding out my hand to her. She looked at me cautiously before reaching out to grab it, standing up and following after me. I could hear Blaise whisper under his breath, “Lucky bastard,” but I ignored it.
Yeah, I was fucking lucky.
It took a minute to find a vacant first class cabin at the front of the train. I could feel an attendant’s eyes on us, but I slipped past when Blaise walked up and spilled his coffee all over the front of the man’s suit, distracting him while wordlessly mouthing that I owed him.
Yeah, okay, asshole. Next time, I’ll let you watch. Kinky bastard.
We snuck into the private cabin, drew the curtains, and locked the door. “Wh-what’s going on?” She looked so adorable, confused by the feral burning in my eyes.
“Sunshine,” I murmured before pulling her in close and crashing my lips to hers. She tasted like lemonade, sharp but sweet on my tongue. She instantly responded, wrapping her arms around me and rubbing her tight little body against mine like a cat in heat.
Why the fuck didn’t I do this sooner? Oh yeah, I was pretending to feel guilty about nearly killing her other boyfriend when I murdered her father.
We didn’t have much time, which was inconvenient because I wanted to savor this, listen to her cries on repeat as I tongue-fucked her again and again.
“Callum,” she whispered before pulling away and stripping off her shirt, revealing a sports bra underneath, forcing her breasts
together and creating the most tempting cleavage I’d ever seen. I immediately wanted to titty fuck her on the floor of this train.
Another time though.
“Are you okay?” she asked before I pulled her close again and spun her around. I put my palm on her stomach, splaying my fingers out to cover as much skin as possible before pulling her flush against me. I nibbled her neck, breathing in her scent as I guided her towards the window, where the world was passing by.
“We don’t have time,” I said before yanking her pants down and swiftly unzipping mine before pulling out my cock. I rubbed it against her ass for a moment, enjoying the way her breathing raced. “We keep finding ourselves in these positions, don’t we?” I asked, not really sure I wanted her answer.
The truth was that I used her up when I was struggling with my demons, and she let me. I wasn’t sure if there was any future for a relationship for us with all this toxic give and take, but I was willing to take it all for as long as she’d let me. I could be sweet. Could make love to her the way she deserved. Worship her body in ways she used to dream about for us.
But this? I preferred the little gasps of shock. I preferred to make her moan and cry out. I liked feeling her body break apart into bliss under mine. “I think I like you best like this,” she replied just as I thrust inside of her dripping cunt, groaning as her tight walls clenched around me.
“Mean?” I asked, hating myself a bit, but not enough to stop.
“No,” she replied through gritted teeth as her neck went slack, rolling as pleasure flooded through her. “Desperate for me.”
I fucked her harder, pounding into her and not caring about what was going to happen. This thing felt scarily temporary. Would she ever realize I wasn’t worth it?
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