I breathed in wintergreen and relaxed against him. Everything else disappeared but his body heat, his touch. Over the last month, I had seen a side of Miles I never knew existed. Confident, sure of himself, he’d changed practically overnight. Since then, I’d been over at his house almost every day. I kept wondering if he’d change back to my shy Miles. But with every touch, every kiss, he showed me the side no one really got to see. A happy, relaxed Miles. Warmth filled me as I looked up at him. I loved him. There was no doubt. I didn’t want to rest. I wanted to feel… him. Warm and alive. My voice was barely a whisper. “Touch me.”
His fingers on my back flexed. His emerald eyes blinked as they grew warmer. “Pardon?”
I brushed my lips against his. “I don’t want to feel his touch, I want to feel yours.”
He hesitated. Those eyes ran over my face again before he kissed me gently, his lips taking mine. Reaching up, I wrapped my hands in his shirt and slipped into his mouth. Wintergreen mint danced across my tongue as he kissed me back. His arm tightened around me pressing my breasts against his hard chest. Everything fell away. All there was, was Miles’ touch. His kiss, his heat. Those long fingers stroking the skin of my lower back. Needing more, I raised my knee to his hip and pressed against him. His hand left a trail of sparks as it slid up my spine slowly. His tongue drove every thought from my mind. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his kiss grew firmer, more sure. The nothing inside me began to fill. Every touch, every stroke of his tongue, every kiss filled me with waves of heat.
I moved against him, shifting my hips. His hand slid back down my back to my hip. His fingers wrapped around my thigh and squeezed a heartbeat before he moved me to my back. His hips moved between my legs, pressing me down into the sleeping bag. I flashed on the cabin. I stiffened, my fingers balling in his shirt.
He instantly lifted his head, and took some of his weight off me. I opened my eyes to see Miles above me, against me. It was his hard body pressed flush against me. His weight over me. His asking eyes met mine, his question clear. I nodded that I was okay before I slipped my fingers under the soft fabric of his shirt. My fingertips found hot skin over hard muscle. His eyes glowed as my fingers trailed over his abs to his chest. I kissed him again, showing him how good I felt. He held most of his weight off me on his forearm. His other hand running up my side as he kissed me back. Heat rolled over me as his fingers brushed the side of my breast. I flashed on snow. I stiffened again.
He pulled back again and met my eyes. “Don’t push yourself, Angel.” Those worried eyes… holding his gaze I reached down to his hand and slowly brought it to my breast. Nerves sparked and fired as his eyes changed. Filling with heat and understanding. He understood what I was showing him, understood what happened in the snow. He understood what I needed. His touch didn’t hurt. His fingers were light, soft, warm as he gently cupped my breast in his palm. His eyes never leaving mine as my breathing grew heavier. I reached up and kissed the line of his jaw lightly. A whisper of a groan left his throat. His lips took mine again gently, carefully. His thumb stroked over my aching nipple, electricity shot from my breast to pulse between my thighs. His mouth quieted my gasp. My skin grew tighter as my blood pounded in my ears. I kissed him harder, our kiss grew hungry. More, I needed more. My hips moved against him as his fingers gently stroked me over my swimsuit. His lips left mine to trail down my jaw to my throat. Soft kisses, that left me wanting more. I pulled his shirt up his body. His skin pressed against mine. Need shook me as I shifted my hips, rubbing my core against his hard length through his shorts. His breathing grew heavier as his hips shifted. Fireworks shot through me as he hit me just right. A small, barely audible moan slipped from my throat as we moved together.
Clang! Metal hit metal hard making Miles jump and pull away from me.
“What the hell, Asher?” Ethan shouted.
“Just starting dinner.” Asher’s voice was clear through the quiet.
Miles’ hand moved down my ribs, his hand burning against my skin. My hands moved down the ridges of the muscles of his chest and slipped out of his shirt. Miles shifted off me to lie beside me. I moved to my side to face him, and rested my head on his arm. He tucked a stray hair behind my ear then wrapped his arm around me. I pressed against him with my body still singing, still needing to feel him.
I breathed in his wintergreen scent and relaxed. The heat rolled back, leaving the numb and that was okay. That’s what I needed right now.
“Are you with me?” His voice was soft as he brushed a kiss to my hair.
“Yeah.” I looked up at him and met his eyes.
“I know that was mostly about you,” he whispered. “And that’s alright.”
“No, Nemo.” I kept my voice low. “It was about you too.”
He ran his thumb over my cheekbone. “Me?”
“I trust you, Miles.” My voice was barely a whisper. “You make me feel as if it never happened. You touch me and I forget. My mind stops and all I know is you.”
“Was that everything that happened?”
I shook my head.
His eyes flashed from warm to cold then back again. After several slow deep breaths, he met my eyes. “When you’re ready, I’ll be here. It’ll be about you and only you.”
My eyes burned. Damn, he was sweet. “I love you.”
He grew still.
Oh, God… “I mean… shit.” I covered my eyes and hoped I was hallucinating.
Miles chuckled and pulled my hand from my eyes. “I love you too.” Light burst through me as I smiled up at him with a pink face.
He kissed me gently before lying beside me. I rested my cheek on his chest. Asher had heard us. There was no way he didn’t. What fresh hell did I open up now?
* * *
I rolled back over and pounded my pillow into submission. It didn’t matter how tired I was. I had been tossing and turning for a couple of hours now. After Rory had taken Tara home, the guys had kept watching me carefully all through dinner and s’mores. As if I was going to explode or something. The twins just kept trying to make me laugh. Zeke kept the fire going so I wouldn’t get cold. Asher ignored me and Miles. Which hurt, but wasn’t surprising. I hadn’t meant for him to hear, it was just… what I needed at the time.
The guys had gone to bed an hour ago, at least that’s when the fire was put out. I shifted on to my side and pulled my sleeping bag up to my shoulder as the numbness began to roll back.
It didn’t matter. I pressed my palm to my forehead trying to make everything go away. I’m fine. I’m alive. I’m safe. Yeah, but for how long? A year? Maybe? I rolled on my back and stared up at the sky through the mesh ceiling.
Everything ran back through my mind. Being kidnapped, being groped and beaten. Then healing. Fuck… it had taken so long. Tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes as I took a shaky breath. But it didn’t matter.
He would be out in a year. All because his parents knew the right people… That numbness pulled away even more, leaving me raw and aching inside.
Ordin had thought of me as a thing. Something to possess, something to control. He treated me as if I didn’t matter. And the justice system… the fucking judge and D.A… they just showed me that I didn’t matter too. It didn’t matter that he hurt me, it probably wouldn’t have mattered if he had killed me. It didn’t matter if he permanently fucked up my voice. He was still going to get a slap on the wrist. Everything I was shook. The world as I knew it was gone. The icy touch of fear slid through me as I tried to breathe around the rock in my chest. Would he come after me again?
I got up, pulled on my hoodie, unzipped the flap and stepped outside. The fire was out and the moon shined above. I wrapped my arms around me as I started across the campsite. Hades moved beside me in the quiet, his shoulder pressing against my hip as we walked. Hold on. Hold on. That numbness was almost completely gone. All I wanted to do was curl up and cry.
I took deep breaths as I passed the guys’ dark tent and walked through the grass barefoot. H
is tent was dark too but it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be asleep. Not after the news today. I walked around to the front and bent under the overhang. Hades dropped to his belly and crawled with me.
I unzipped the flap. Zeke was already moving to the other side of his mattress, he took an extra pillow and set it next to his. Hades stretched out across the entrance under the overhang after I crawled inside. I quickly pulled down the zipper and closed the flap most of the way.
When I turned back, he was on his side, lifting the blankets up for me. I climbed in and pressed against his warm skin. His arms slipped around me, one for my pillow. The other held me close to him as the tears started to fall. He kissed my forehead and held me tight as I sobbed into his shirt. All the fear I had been holding back poured out of me in tears. Not wanting to wake anyone, I cried silently against his chest. His arms keeping me safe. His body holding me tight. He didn’t ask what was wrong. I didn’t ask if I could stay. We understood each other perfectly.
Chapter 12
August 20th
I woke up slowly. With my eyes feeling gritty and my throat raw. Lying on something hard yet soft at the same time. I took a deep breath of engine grease and leather. Zeke… I slowly became aware of the arms around me. One over the middle of my back, holding me to him. The other hand cupping my thigh in his big calloused hand. I eventually became aware that I was on top of Zeke…. My knees were straddling his waist, my legs straight down from there. How did I get here? All I could remember was I wasn’t comfy… It didn’t matter. He was breathing deeply and I wasn’t going to move.
I floated in warmth and the scent of him. The pain in my head started getting louder and louder. I shifted a little on his chest.
Zeke’s hand tightened on my thigh as his arm tightened around my back. Something started buzzing.
He shifted and reached over his head to the pocket where his phone was. I refused to budge as he shut off the alarm. His hand came back under the covers to my back. My cami was pulled up to my ribs again, his fingers ran over my bare skin.
I rubbed my eyes, hating the gritty feeling. He ran his hand up and down my back slowly, letting me know he wasn’t in a hurry to get up. I tilted my head back and opened my eyes.
His sky-blue eyes were warm as they met mine
I sat up a little, my hands resting on his chest, and smiled a small smile.
He reached up and held my face, his thumb brushing over my cheekbone. Warmth and love poured through me. He knew I was coming to his tent last night. He hated it when I cried. It killed him every time but he held me as long as I needed to get it out. All without saying a word.
I shifted further up his body, leaned down and pressed my lips to his. My heart pounded in my chest as his lips moved with mine. My hands moved up his chest as his lips parted. I didn’t hold anything back, I kissed him with all the love I had. His hands held my face as our kiss grew softer. Slower. When I pulled back and opened my eyes, I met his again. His hands trailed down my back to my hips. His fingers squeezed gently. I climbed off Zeke then opened the flap. I slipped out into the predawn light and headed back to my tent before the others woke up.
Hades walked with me on my way back from the bathroom when Asher ran by. I expected him to stop but he didn’t. It was like a hit to the stomach. He had definitely heard me and Miles yesterday. Guilt ate at me. But I shouldn’t feel guilty… right? Grrr.
I walked back into camp and found it still empty. The others would be up soon. Hades went into my still open tent and disappeared. Going to the picnic table area, I started the coffee and pulled out everything I’d need to make breakfast. That’s when I found the food dye. What the hell were we doing with food dye?
I lit the barbecue and started cracking eggs. When I was sure I had enough for everyone, I put in the dye.
Miles was wearing his swim trunks and toweling off as he walked back into camp. He probably just finished his morning swim. God, would I ever get tired of seeing him shirtless? I highly doubted it. He slipped his glasses on as he reached the other side of the griddle. He smiled. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” I started slicing meat. “I’m still trying not to think about it too much.”
Miles eyes were shadowed as he watched. “So, you’re trying to cheer yourself up with green eggs and ham.”
“Yeah.” I smiled. “Sorry I was so quiet last night..”
He shook his head. “Angel, there’s nothing to apologize for.”
“I just… I couldn’t face it yet.” I wanted him to understand. “I didn’t want to think about what it would mean.”
He walked around the barbecue and pulled me into his arms. “You don’t have to explain.”
I took a deep breath of wintergreen and relaxed. Everything inside my head grew quiet.
“He’ll never come near you ever again.” His lips brushed my ear. “I promise.”
“Thanks, Nemo.” I pulled back a bit and kissed his cheek. “Now, go get dressed, breakfast will be ready soon.”
He smiled a small smile and headed toward his tent.
I felt the griddle, it was hot enough. After scrambling, I poured the green eggs on to the griddle. As they began to cook, I tossed the slices of ham on too.
Ethan shuffled out of the guys’ tent, still half asleep and in his pajamas. He zombie walked over and grabbed a mug. “Have you had coffee yet?”
“Not yet.”
Ethan grabbed another mug and poured coffee for both of us. I was flipping the ham when he put cream and sugar in mine.
I smiled to myself as Ethan handed me the mug before fixing his own.
He leaned against one of the tables and started to wake up. “How are you this morning?”
“I’m better.” I moved the eggs again. “Sorry for going silent.”
Ethan moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He buried his nose in the crook of my neck. He took a deep breath and sighed. “I don’t care if you’re silent, just throw something at me when you’re hurting.”
I leaned my head back on his shoulder and smiled. “I promise.”
He lifted his head. “What the hell did you do to the eggs?”
I chuckled as I grabbed the bread and handed it to Ethan. “Start the toast and I’ll get plates.”
Ethan nodded and took the loaf of bread.
Zeke made his way into camp, smacking the guys’ tent as he went.
“Fuck off!” Isaac shouted from inside.
Zeke walked into the kitchen area. “Green eggs and ham?”
“Yep.” I smiled up at him. “They make me smile.”
The corner of his lips lifted into a half grin as he picked up a mug and poured himself coffee.
I grabbed several paper plates and got the eggs off the griddle. Then I began pulling the ham off.
Miles came out of the guys’ tent in his climbing clothes. The same kind of climbing pants that all the guys wore when they climbed. “Then set an alarm.”
“It wouldn’t matter if I did.” Isaac followed Miles out of the tent fuming. “He’d just fucking wake up earlier.”
Someone snorted. I glanced over my shoulder to see Zeke fighting not to laugh. I shook my head as Ethan began to take the toast off the griddle. Isaac must not have been wrong.
“Breakfast is ready.” I set the plate down and moved out of everyone’s way. I was starting to feel naked in my hoodie, cami and flannel pajama bottoms.
“Where are you going?” Isaac asked as he reached the kitchen.
“I need to get dressed.” I turned around and walked backward as Asher walked into the campsite but didn’t look at anyone.
“I don’t know, I think that’s a good look for you.” Ethan smirked.
“Yeah, I can totally see Zeke agreeing to me going climbing in this.” I gestured at my pajamas.
Miles shook his head. “Please don’t try.”
“You should be getting dressed before you even go to the bathroom.” Zeke shot me a look.
He didn’t seem
to mind last night or this morning… I rolled my eyes and climbed into my tent.
When I came back out, I was in my climbing clothes and sandals. The guys were talking about the climb as I grabbed my breakfast. Well, most of them. Asher’s face was somber as he picked at his breakfast. I sat down in my chair in time to catch his hard eyes.
“Thanks for breakfast, Red.” Isaac tossed his paper plate into the fire ring to burn later.
“No problem.” I refused to turn away from Asher. I hadn’t done anything wrong… I couldn’t take that look. I put my plate down for Hades, my appetite more than gone.
Everyone was cleaning up when Asher finally spoke, “Are we going to talk about what happened yesterday?”
I went still. Zeke and Miles turned from the sink where they were cleaning silverware. Isaac turned from the grill where he was scraping the griddle. Ethan set his coffee mug down.
“You mean about the sentence that fucker was given?” Ethan asked as he leaned against the table.
“No. I don’t mean that.” Asher met my eyes. “It’s time to choose.”
My heart slammed in my chest, my stomach rolled. “W-what? We were waiting until the end of the trip.” I turned to Miles. Were we really doing this? Now? Before the big climb?
“That’s what we agreed to.” Zeke eyed Asher. “What’s crawled up your ass?”
“I’m tired of games.” Asher met my eyes.
“Games?” Was he serious?
“She’s not playing games, Asher.” Miles began tapping his fingers on his thigh.
Asher turned to him. “You, out of all of us, I don’t want to hear from. I fucking heard enough yesterday.”
My face caught fire. Oh, God…
Miles’ eyes grew icy. “Asher, let’s talk in priva-”
“You think of that now?” Asher shook his head. “I was fifteen feet away!”
When the Dead Have It Easy Page 19