When the Dead Have It Easy

by B. L. Brunnemer

  His eyes narrowed on me. “Except the people you care about.”

  I nodded. “If we even get that far, if I did end up sleeping with all of you… Would your opinion of me change?”

  He grinned. “Are you asking me if I’ll think you’re a slut?”

  I shrugged. “I was gonna to say easy.”

  He smiled a big smile. “Look who you’re asking, Beautiful.”

  I snorted. “I know. But with guys there isn’t a huge stigma. Hell, I just stepped on campus and Jessica started calling me a slut.”

  “Yeah, I know.” His eyes were warm as they met mine. “My opinion of you will never change, Lexie. You’re amazing. And that’s all I’ll ever think.”

  Relief almost left me limp but that wasn’t the entire problem… “You know the guys better than me. Do you think…”

  His face filled with understanding. “You think the guys opinions would change.”

  I nodded. “I don’t want to think it.”

  “You’re going to have to ask them.” His voice was soft.

  “Ask us what?” Asher and Zeke walked into the campsite, both drenched in sweat.

  My face burned. “Um, nothing.”

  Ethan shot me a look before looking across the fire ring to them. “Lexie is wondering if her being physical with all of us would change our opinions of her.”

  The silence was deafening. Only the crickets told me that time hadn’t stopped. Ethan turned back to me, grinning.

  “You’re a dead man.” I was going to kill him.

  “If it’s worrying you enough to ask me about it, then you need an answer from everyone,” Ethan said.

  I shook my head. “You’re still dead.”

  “What did my brother do?” Isaac and Miles walked into camp using their towels to dry off.

  My face caught fire as Zeke and Asher stood in stunned silence while Ethan repeated himself.

  “Oh.” Isaac’s cheeks turned pink.

  Miles’ ears quickly followed. “Are you actually worried about this?”

  I met Miles’ eyes and nodded. “Yeah, it’s… been on my mind.”

  “Then we should talk about it.” Miles looked at the others before moving to a chair.

  The others followed suit.

  “You guys don’t have to.” I looked down at the fire to avoid looking at them. “I know I’m just being stupid and insecure.”

  “It bothered you enough to ask.” Isaac set his towel down in his chair before sitting down.

  “What exactly are you worrying about?” Miles continued to dry his hair as Zeke and Asher sat in their chairs.

  I looked at each of them and said fuck it. “Alright, here it is. If we all do end up dating, time goes by and things become physical… Will the way you guys think of me change? Will you think I’m easy or-”

  “Fucking son of a-” Zeke bit off whatever else he was going to say.

  Isaac took a deep drink of water.

  “You never care what people think of you.” Zeke clenched and unclenched his fists on his thighs. “Why would you care now?”

  “I care what the people who matter to me think of me. Everyone else could go fuck themselves.” How the hell could I explain this? “I need some outside perspectives here, because half of me is telling me that is exactly what I’d be. But the other half of me is saying fuck what everyone thinks and trust my own judgement.” I shrugged. “I don’t know what’s right or wrong in this situation.”

  The tension was thick enough to taste.

  “I’ll go first.” Miles met my eyes. “I’ve already thought about how this part of the relationships would play out. But I never thought that you were worried that how we think of you would change.”

  “Like I said, I know I’m being stupid-”

  “You’re not.” Ethan’s voice was sharp. “It’s a valid question. There’s a huge social stigma on any girl who sleeps with several guys. And you deserve to know what we’d think ahead of time.”

  I sent him a thankful smile.

  “My opinion of you wouldn’t change.” Miles brought my attention back to him. “It never would have.”

  “Thanks, Miles.” I sent him a smile then turned to the others.

  “I don’t think it would. I mean, you have a big heart, Red.” Isaac shrugged. “You… you don’t sleep around…” His face turned dark red.

  “Thanks, Cookie Monster.”

  Asher sighed. “My opinion of you wouldn’t change, Ally. Something tells me it should but… I know you. You value yourself.”

  “Thanks, Ash.” My throat was tight as I turned to Zeke.

  Zeke’s face was blank as stone. He shook his head.

  “No, your opinion wouldn’t change? Or no, you’re not answering the question?” Miles asked.

  Zeke’s eyes met mine. “No.” He got to his feet and started toward his tent. Everyone was silent until he was out of earshot.

  “He didn’t clarify.” Miles pinched the bridge of his nose.

  “I got my answer.” Zeke’s opinion wouldn’t change but he was done with this conversation. Hell, we were lucky he stuck around for it with the others here. He was just a private guy.

  “How?” Isaac turned to me.

  “I speak Zeke.” I shrugged.

  The guys chuckled.

  “Lexie, I have a follow up question.” Miles leaned forward, his ears already red. “When the time comes, whenever the… physical aspect of the relationships advance. Do you think you could…?” His face turned beet red. “Trust us enough to… enjoy yourself without worrying that our opinions of you would change?”

  “Fuck, Miles.” Ethan shook his head smiling.

  “Wow, that was hard for you to say.” I couldn’t help but smile as his face began to cool off.

  “It would have been easier if it was one on one but it still needed to be asked.” He met my eyes again. “Because if you won’t trust us with you in that way, then this will never work.”

  He was right. It came down to trust. Did I trust the guys enough to not think of me as less? Why did it always come down to trust and communication? I sucked at it. I bit back a groan. I racked my brain trying to think of a reason I should or shouldn’t do this. It could work or it could be a disaster. I could lose everyone or I could keep everyone and be happy. It was pretty much fifty-fifty at this point. Wait… happy. I closed my eyes. Happiness isn’t going to going to arrive on your doorstep, you’re going to have to bust your ass for it. Well, this would be busting my ass… But it wasn’t…. Forget normal. Throw normal out the window. Well, shit.

  I opened my eyes and met his. “Yeah, I think I can.”

  The smile that spread across his face was the best smile I’d ever seen from him.

  “Do you feel better?” Asher asked.

  I nodded. “Sorry to put everyone through that.”

  “It’s communication. We’ve been needing to work on it,” Miles reminded me. “Let’s get cleaned up and we’ll start the family meeting after.”

  “This wasn’t the meeting?” Isaac asked.

  The others chuckled.

  “Nope.” I smiled at him. “We’ve only just begun the awkward conversations.”

  I didn’t realize how right I was until after Zeke and Asher took their showers and came back to the fire ring.

  Miles got to his feet and looked at all of us. “We need to talk about how it would work if all of us were to be in relationships with Lexie. At the same time.”

  Crickets were the only reply.

  My head started pounding, the guys weren’t going to make this easier. “How would it work day to day?”

  Miles started tapping his fingers against his thigh. “We’d all hang out as usual during the day and school. Homework together as usual. It’d be hanging out after that would change.”

  “So, until after homework, nothing would change?” I asked simply because the guys weren’t asking questions.

  Miles nodded. “Right. No touching in front of each other like we’v
e already agreed. Just like usual. Then if it was Isaac’s date night, they’d go hang out or we’d leave. Then the next day it’s someone else.”

  “Guys?” I looked at each of them. “Any questions? Concerns?”

  “No one’s going to go for this,” Zeke announced. “So, there’s no reason to even ask questions.”

  It was like a blade to the heart. Was he really this against it? I didn’t even know what to say. I looked down at the fire while trying to keep control. If Zeke wasn’t going to even consider… There was no point. Hades put his head in my lap. I focused on running my fingers through his fur. I took several deep breaths as the silence stretched.

  “I’m thinking about it.” Ethan’s voice alone wasn’t enough to make me lift my head.

  But Miles’ voice agreeing with him, was. “I am as well.”

  “I don’t even know where to start,” Isaac sighed.

  “Zeke, I know it’s not normal.” I met his eyes and was honest with myself for the first time about this. “Everything I’ve been taught, and everything I know is telling me this is wrong. That it’s not the way it should be.”

  His face softened. “Then why do it?”

  “Because it doesn’t feel wrong.” I spread my hand over my chest. “In my heart, it feels right. It feels like… us. All of us. It…” I didn’t know how to explain it. “It fits. Like a piece in a puzzle. This weird, crazy, strange piece... Just fits.”

  “It would never work,” Zeke repeated.

  “Give us an example of why, Zeke.” Miles started tapping his leg. “And we can work through it.”

  “If Zeke isn’t even willing to consider it…” I turned to Miles. “There’s no point. I won’t date anyone.” That’s it. It was done. I swallowed through my tight throat and got to my feet. “I’m going to take Hades for a walk.” I started toward the lake with Hades trotting beside me. And tried to remember how to breathe.

  Ethan

  Rage boiled through me as Lexie walked away from the camp. She was hurting when she left, there was no doubt in my mind.

  When she was out of earshot, I glared at Zeke. “Well, thanks for taking all of two seconds to make this big of a decision for all of us.”

  Zeke’s eyes narrowed as he turned to me. “No one was going to agree with it to begin with.”

  “I was.” My voice was boiling and furious. “You never even considered it. Did you?”

  “I’m not going to pass Lexie around,” Zeke bit out.

  “For fucks sake!” Isaac snapped. “That’s not what we’re talking about!”

  “She’s not going to choose this.” Zeke surged to his feet.

  “She already has!” Miles got to his feet too. “And you need to face that.”

  Oh, shit… Miles yelled! Zeke took slow deep breaths.

  I got to my feet and walked up behind Miles. “Maybe the question shouldn’t be, if we can all do this. Maybe it should be, does it have to be all of us?”

  Miles turned to me. “As in?”

  “If Zeke doesn’t want to date her as a group but the rest of us do, maybe that’s the way it should be?” I met Zeke’s gaze. “’Cause I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose her because you’re a prude.”

  Zeke surged toward me. Miles tried to stop him but got knocked to the side. Isaac stepped between us and was knocked back into me. I don’t know how, but I twisted around as I fell, my hands going out to catch myself. One hand right onto a white-hot ember covered log. Adrenaline shot through me, I jerked my hand away expecting agony. Only there wasn’t any. I looked down at my hand in shock as shouts about a fire erupted. The guys scrambled to put it out. My hand glowed as if I was holding it over a strong light. My veins stood out but so did… Under my skin, a glove of scales glowed brightly from my fingertips down to my wrist where it faded away. My blood pounded in my ears as the glow began to fade just as quickly as it had appeared. Icy cold water poured over me, jolting me back to reality.

  Isaac and Zeke pulled me off the fire ring to the ground.

  “Ethan!”

  “Are you burned?” Zeke barked.

  I curled my fist and shook my head. Zeke face was pale, his eyes wild, a cold sweat had broken out on his forehead.

  “No, no, I caught myself on the ring.” The lie slipped out easily enough. I got to my feet and looked up at the giant. “I shouldn’t have gone after you like that, man. I’m sorry.”

  Zeke shook his head, still pale as hell. “It doesn’t matter, I shouldn’t have fucking pushed you guys.”

  Asher eyed me. “Are you sure you’re alright? Your shirt caught fire.”

  I looked down. Sure enough, the sleeve of my shirt was burnt. I hadn’t even noticed… “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  Miles shook his head. “Zeke, take another run or a swim to cool off. Take some time alone. Do whatever you have to, then come back and talk to me.”

  Zeke’s eyes were haunted as he headed back toward his tent. Probably to change.

  Miles turned to me when he was out of earshot. “You can never say that to him again.”

  “What?” Why would that… “Oh, fuck.”

  Miles nodded. “It’s a trigger.”

  “Prude?” I had to be sure.

  Miles nodded, his eyes cold.

  Guilt and rage hit me hard, bile rose in my throat. I sat down on the ring and tried not to be sick.

  “Anyway, I don’t think Lexie will go for dating only those who agree.” Miles changed the subject. “It’d be too much like choosing for her.”

  I sighed. I didn’t care at the moment. “Should someone be with Zeke right now?”

  Miles shook his head. “He’s not having a flashback, otherwise he wouldn’t have stopped when he pushed you. He needs some time to settle.”

  “Should we get Red?” Isaac shifted on his feet.

  Miles thought about it then shook his head. “If he needed her, he’d have gone after her.”

  I shook my head. “This really is a clusterfuck.”

  “We have one more day before we make a decision,” Miles reminded us. “Let’s take some time.”

  Time. Yeah, that’s easy to say. I looked around the campsite. “Where the hell is Asher?”

  Miles scratched the back of his head. “He might have needed another run.”

  “Everyone should take some time to cool off.” Miles started walking back toward the lake. Isaac sighed and headed for the tent.

  I sat down and looked over the overturned chairs. Who knew that figuring out group dating would be the easy part of my life. I glanced back down at my hand and flexed it. What the hell am I now?

  Chapter 21

  August 23rd

  A hand on my shoulder brought me to the surface. “Lexie.”

  I opened my eyes and looked up to find Zeke in my tent kneeling beside my bed.

  “Want to go fishing?” He smirked down at me.

  I nodded and started trying to get out of my bed. Zeke reached down and held out his hand. Still half asleep, I said fuck it and took his hand. He pulled me up quickly. Where was Hades? I held on to Zeke’s hand as I shuffled my feet while trying to wake up. “Coffee?”

  “I’m making it now.” He let go. “Put on some layers.”

  I nodded with half closed eyes, and grabbed my clothes as he left. I threw on jeans, a bra, shirt, sneakers and Zeke’s hoodie. When I stumbled outside, Zeke handed me a hot thermal mug and a toasted bagel with cream cheese. I took a sip. Oh… heaven. Zeke led me to the water where a metal fishing boat with an outboard motor was on the sand. His gear was already neatly loaded in. The sky was streaked with pinks, purples and oranges. The sun was just starting to come up.

  “Take the seat in the middle.” Zeke took my arm to help steady me as I climbed in. The boat had to be sixteen feet long, with a mostly wide-open middle and storage everywhere. Three cushioned seats were inside. I found a cup holder next to my seat, put my travel mug there and sat down. Zeke pushed the boat back off the sand and walked it out until the water hit his k
nees. He climbed in and sat down in the seat next to the outboard motors.

  I looked down at my seat and how high I was in the boat. “Do I need a seatbelt?”

  He smiled. “No.” He started the motor and began to steer us out onto the water. I ate my bagel as he drove.

  When he turned off the engine we were in a wooded cove. Birds started chirping and the world seemed to still be waking up. Zeke didn’t move. I turned in my seat to watch him look around at the trees. The tension in his shoulders melted away. His face relaxed, his perpetually grumpy face fading away. He seemed… relaxed.

  I didn’t want to ruin it. Tonight was the full moon. Asher was going to shift. I started bouncing my knee as I chewed on the corner of my lower lip.

  Zeke’s gaze snapped to my bouncing then to my lips. “Stop thinking about it.” He got to his feet and started moving around the boat. I held on to the seat as the boat rocked with his movement.

  Feeling the chill, I pulled my hoodie closed as Zeke pulled gear out of hidey holes. “Stop thinking about what?”

  “About tonight.” He pulled his tackle box out of a compartment. “We can worry tonight. There’s nothing we can do right now.”

  Maybe he was right… “You do know I haven’t gone fishing since I was eleven, right?”

  Zeke came back toward the middle. The boat moved. I grabbed on to the seat without thought.

  “Why is that?” Zeke sat down in the seat across from mine.

  Hoping I’d get used to how the boat moved, I let go of the seat. “It was the last time I went camping with my dad before he died.”

  Zeke paused getting gear to look at me. “You didn’t have to come if you didn’t want to.”

  I smiled. He really was a sweetie. “I do. I’m just warning you that you’re going to have to do a lot of teaching.”

  His lips twitched as he went back to going through his tackle box. He went to the side to pull the poles off the stand on the inside of the boat. The boat rocked.

  “And I’ve never been on a boat,” I muttered as I hung on again.