Letting Go
Letting Go
Sarah L. White
Wattpad Books
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
Ben
I can’t see anything as we enter the dark club at the hotel; the air around us is thick with the smell of sweat and alcohol. The music is blaring, and the thump of the bass is already giving me a headache. I glance down at my Rolex to start the clock on how long I have to stay before I can get back to things more important than getting drunk at my best friend’s bachelor party. It’s nine thirty. I think midnight is about right, so I roll my shoulders and take a deep breath. I can tolerate this for a few hours.
It’s times like these that I’m grateful for the height that I inherited. At six-four, I stand a few inches taller than most of the people in here. As my vision adjusts to the lighting, I try my best to resist reaching out to ineffectively bat away the fog being misted from the DJ booth. The lights flash and bounce around the packed dance floor as we make our way over to the table reserved for us. It perches a few inches above the dancers below, giving us an excellent view of all the action.
We’re rolling pretty deep tonight. The twelve of us have been friends since high school, and while our career paths have taken us to different places, we have still managed to keep in touch. Our small private school was once our playground, but now we’ve spread our wings a little further, making quite a reputation for ourselves in this city. All of us are single except for Keith; he has fallen victim to the American Dream. His loss.
I watch as two blond, barely dressed waitresses engage in a verbal altercation. While it’s too fucking loud in here to hear my own thoughts, let alone their conversation a few feet away, I can tell by their glances in our direction that they are arguing over who will serve our table. As always, our group emits money without even trying. We come from money, and we have all been successful at making our own on top of what our families have provided.
Figure your shit out ladies, I need to get a buzz if I’m not going to bolt early or spend the next few hours doing business on my phone. They must have come to some agreement because the bustier of the two women is making her way over to us. The boys yell their orders to her over the music, and then not-so-covertly talk among themselves about which of us will take her home. We might be in our mid-twenties, but when we’re all together we tend to act about fifteen.
“What about you, handsome?” she asks, looking up from under her long lashes in a move I know she’s perfected while working here. She twists a little, back and forth at her hips, drawing my attention to her small waist. She’s shoved her breasts up around her neck, putting them on display. No class, but I’m sure she brings home a lot in tips.
“Jack and Coke.” I think for a minute about whether or not I will throw my hat into the ring and try to take her back to my room just to add some entertainment to this night. When she turns to leave, I watch her go but find myself losing interest when she peeks back over her shoulder to see if I’m watching. She adds a little extra sway to her step when she catches me. I’ll never understand why a woman would put herself on display.
Another quick glance at the time ramps up my frustration. It’s only been twenty minutes since I checked the first time. Our waitress is back, and I decide to send a clear signal that I’m not interested. I take my drink and then turn my back on her slowly, to watch the dancers. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice her shoulders slump. I would feel bad if I thought it would ruin her evening, but women like that know the score. She’ll move her focus to one of my friends before she even heads back to the bar.
Across the dance floor I spot a group of women, all wearing ridiculous bachelorette party items. The bride-to-be looks completely trashed, singing along to the music in her sparkly tiara and white sash. A few of her friends are dancing around her, but one of them is on her phone, fidgeting with her Bridesmaid sash where it touches her bare neck. She’s unbelievably beautiful, and I feel a rush of adrenaline as I watch her.
Her hair is long, and I’m captivated as she twists it over one shoulder to get it off her neck. I notice how hot it is in here when she uses a bar menu to fan herself with her free hand, her other hand never leaving her phone. I can’t take my eyes off of her. As I tip my drink, I fold the straw over the side so I can sip directly from the glass. I realize I must’ve been doing this without paying attention, because it’s empty. I shake the ice in my glass and decide to make my way up to the bar to avoid any further encounters with our waitress.
The bar is packed, and the female bartender is rushing to take orders and make drinks as quickly as possible. When she makes eye contact with me, I raise my eyebrows and grin. Works every time; she’s soon handing me my drink. I turn back to our table but stop after just a few steps when I see my beautiful stranger standing at the edge of the crowd at the bar. She’s trying hard to make eye contact with the bartender.
Dressed to kill in a short, black strapless dress, she brushes her bangs from her forehead and rolls her eyes when the bartender passes her by again to help a group of rowdy college guys. She’s fucking adorable, blowing out a breath of air and putting her hands on her hips in frustration. As I watch her, I imagine running my tongue along her exposed shoulder and slim neck. The alcohol has made my libido come out to play, and I decide this night might be a little fun after all.
When I take a few steps to close the distance between us, her eyes lock with mine and I watch as emotions cross her face. At first I see awareness, perhaps because I’m stalking toward her, then desire as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth. Just as quickly, she releases her lip to look around, as if checking to see if it’s her that I’m after. My mouth curves into a smile and I lean down when I reach her so I can speak without yelling in her face.
“What are you drinking?” It takes all the restraint I have to not run my lips across her smooth cheek, but I don’t fight the need to pull her closer, wrapping my hand around her waist.
“Nothing.” She giggles a little and then gestures with her palm to the bar. “Apparently, I don’t have the right parts to get her attention.” I know I should look at the bar, but I can’t stop looking at her lush lips and thinking about what she would taste like.
“I can’t imagine anyone not paying attention to the parts that you do have,” I say with a wink, “but since I seem to have what it takes, let me buy you a drink.”
She hesitates, as if she’s not sure if she should be offended by what I just said or should simply accept my offer. “Okay, Mr. Appendage, I’ll take whate
ver you’re drinking.” I can’t help the laugh that rolls out of me, and I love the way she lifts her eyebrows in challenge.
“You sure you want a Jack and Coke? Aren’t you supposed to drink some fruity drink with a silly name?” I’m still holding on to her waist, and I’m now acutely aware of the heat under my palm. I want to run my hand up her side and pull her into me.
“Jack and Coke will be fine, and just to prove I don’t need any fluffy girl drinks, why don’t we start this round with a shot of tequila?” The feisty way she challenges me kicks my hormones into overdrive, and I shift my weight a little to make sure she can’t feel the way she’s affecting me. I nod and force myself to look away to get the bartender’s attention.
I order another round for us and request the tequila with two slices of lime and a shaker of salt. As the shots are poured, a small space opens up at our end of the bar. I pull her up beside me, loving when the light from the bar glows on her features, allowing me to see the way the deep-green color of her eyes contrasts with the dark black of her dilated pupils. I hope she’s as turned on as I am, and that it isn’t just an effect of the darkness we’re in.
I watch as she licks her wrist and shakes a little salt on it then offers the shaker to me. I do the same and she lifts her shot up in a toast. I tilt my head out of curiosity and watch as the most breathtaking smile breaks out across her face. Her voice is a little husky as she says, “Here’s to your appendage,” with a wink.
Before tapping her shot glass with mine, I lean a little closer and lower my voice to answer, “It hasn’t failed me yet.” Her laugh is almost as beautiful as she is, and I know immediately this girl is going to be trouble. I watch as she parts her lips and runs her tongue along them before licking the salt from her wrist. I lick my salt as well, and then we both shoot the tequila and suck on our limes. The heat of the alcohol rushes through my blood. As she closes her eyes against the burn of her shot, I can’t help thinking of how she must taste like lime and tequila.
When she finally opens her eyes, I feel our connection as if it’s a burn. The intense need I have for her at this moment makes my head swim with a million ideas of what I want to do to her. I think she’s going to run from this little game. I would, if I wasn’t so greedy to get anything she’s willing to give to me.
I’m completely floored when she reaches for the salt and says in the sexiest whisper, “Again.”
Lori
The burn of the alcohol makes every nerve in my body come alive. I can smell his clean scent, and fight the need to lean in close and breathe him in. His warmth pulls me into him, and I let my eyes drift across his strong jaw and broad chest. When I trail my eyes back up to his, he lifts the corner of his mouth into a smile. This is not what I expected when I came here tonight, but I’m too sucked in to end this little game before I see where it takes us.
This night should be some much needed time off to let loose, but deadlines at work keep popping up like ads in my head, reminding me that life is speeding forward. When I accepted the promotion last month, I knew my workload would double, but I have my eye on the prize, and if I want to make VP by thirty, it was a necessary step. I feel my phone buzz with another email. I have so much work to do but I can’t get my legs to take me back to my table. His eyes leave mine to work their magic with the bartender, who rushes over with two more shots of tequila. I know it’s only been three weeks since my breakup with Max, but I guess now is as good a time as any to get back on the horse. Mr. Appendage is not Mr. Forever, but I bet I won’t be disappointed if I let him be Mr. Tonight. Let’s see if he’s interested.
“So what’s your name, beautiful?” he asks before I can say anything.
“Lori. What’s yours, Mr. Appendage?” He chuckles as he holds his hand out to shake.
“Ben.” He shakes my hand and then quickly lifts it to his mouth to brush a kiss across my knuckles. “Nice to meet you, Lori.” The warmth of his lips across my hand sends lust through my system. It settles low in my stomach, causing me to slightly arch my back and brush my thigh a little closer to his, out of a primal need to touch him.
It hadn’t been like this with Max. I’d talked myself into him because we were good together on paper. We make sense, or at least I thought we did. You can’t know everything about someone, and sometimes it’s the things you don’t know that will do the most damage. I don’t need another relationship disaster, but Ben might be a fun distraction from the chaos of work and this bridezilla-centered event.
He holds up the saltshaker and I take it from his hand and spin it slightly in my fingers. It’s now or never, and I can’t wait to see if he’s going to play or run. I reach for his arm and flip his wrist up, bringing it close to my mouth. I don’t break eye contact with him as I slowly lick my lips and brush my tongue across his smooth skin. I’m rewarded with a sharp intake of breath as he watches me moisten his flesh. I shake some salt onto his wrist and then grab my shot.
Once more, I lick his skin, feeling his pulse jump beneath my tongue, and then down my shot, biting quickly into the lime as the tequila races through my system. I think I’ve rendered him speechless, but he only stays stunned for a moment before I hear his low growl. “Fuck, that was hot.” I smile up at him and take a moment to enjoy my victory. “My turn.”
I extend my wrist so that he can lick it, but he shakes his head with a little chuckle. “I’m sure that little piece of you is delicious, but there are a few other areas that have piqued my interest a little more.” Ben leans in and brushes my hair off my shoulder. The rasp of his large fingers along my skin causes goose bumps to run down my body, calling to attention every inch of skin. His eyes rake over me as he follows the clear line of arousal the bumps have mapped out.
Ben’s eyes lift to mine for a moment before returning to the soft skin that he’s made vulnerable by moving my hair. The roughness of his slight five o’clock shadow on my shoulder is thrilling as he breathes me in while running his lips lightly across the exposed flesh. I arch into him against my will, and he pulls me closer before moistening the skin at the base of my neck and shoulder with his tongue. His face is serious as he retrieves the salt, some sticking to the moisture and some trickling into my dress as he shakes it along my skin.
I’m already anticipating his warm tongue on my skin again, and it feels like he’s taking forever to lick the salt off of my hot flesh. This time he reverses his direction, starting at the farthest point of moisture on my shoulder and slowly trailing his tongue back toward the crook of my neck. Without thinking, I tip my head to the side, exposing more skin. At my invitation, Ben thrusts his fingers into my hair with the hand that’s not tightly gripping my hip and pulls me into his hard body. His tongue reaches the end of the salt, and his lips close around my skin as he sucks my neck for a second before pulling back to watch me.
My knees are weak, and I open my eyes when I realize they’ve been closed the whole time he’s been exploring my flesh. He smoothly downs his shot and then runs his slice of lime across my lips before pressing it into my mouth. I bite down on the lime and remind myself to breathe as he moistens his lips and then traces the path the lime took across my mouth. He closes his soft lips around the lime and tugs it free.
“Are you staying at the hotel?” he asks, his eyes heavy with desire. I nod because I’m too turned on to form words. He reaches down to grab my hand but before he can make contact my sister Amber grabs my elbow and, slurring, yells something about our older sister being trashed and throwing up in the bathroom. She’s going to make a beautiful bride tomorrow with the dark circles and pounding headache she’s going to have.
This whole evening has been a disaster. I don’t know why I thought all of us girls could get along, but once again I found myself wrangling girls from all corners of the city to sit for a classy meal only to have it erupt into an argument over some high school drama. My sister’s friends are too much, and I can’t wait to get this wedding behind me so I can focus on my work and the
new position. The only time I’ve relaxed all night was when I stepped up to this bar for a minute, away from the tension-filled bachelorette table and right into Ben’s orbit.
I want to leave with him, to spend the night discovering what other areas of my body have piqued his interest, but I can’t leave my big sister alone, and Amber is too trashed to be of any real help. I mouth “Sorry,” to him and start to back away. He nods but mouths, “Soon,” and I smile at him and wink before leaving. What an interesting turn this night has taken.
Ben
I watch as Lori backs away from me, dragged by the drunk girl with the matching sash. When she’s lost in the crowd, I signal to the bartender to refill my drink, and then make my way back to our table. The taste of her is still on my tongue, and I replay the feel of her mouth against my skin as I sip my drink. I know nothing about her, not even her last name, and I curse under my breath when I realize that I’ve made it difficult to track her down.
In my life, I don’t have time to chase after women, and I’m too busy to build any sort of relationship. The decision to be with a woman is made in minutes for me, and my time with them only lasts a few hours. I don’t do sleepovers or promise them relationships; they know what they’re getting into when they offer to come home with me after only knowing me a short time. I’m now in new territory with Lori. She isn’t leaving with me—but I’m not finished with her yet.
Thinking of her is getting me going again, so I down the rest of my drink and reluctantly call our waitress over to line up a few more shots. Maybe I just need to blow off a little steam so that another beautiful woman in the bar doesn’t rock me like Lori has. Most of the guys are paired off with women, and I laugh when I notice a few of the girls being worked by my friends are wearing the same sash as Lori. How convenient it is that we’re all staying at the hotel.
I was so grateful that this wasn’t another one of those destination weddings that force me to take time off of work to travel to some location I care nothing about. If I’m going to travel, I like to go where I want to go, and do it without the big headache of wedding guests and itineraries that aren’t mine. Keith is smart—he doesn’t have a lot of time either, so he and his soon-to-be-bride chose this Beverly Hills hotel because it’s conveniently located twenty minutes from the office. I only got a room here so I wouldn’t risk making the drive back to my place in the Hollywood Hills when I’ve been drinking.
Letting Go Page 1