by L. A. Sable
He shrugs. “There are worse things on the internet. Take it from me, the best thing you can do for yourself is stop caring what other people think.”
“That’s easy for you to say.”
He doesn’t respond as we finish collecting the last of the pills. When we’re done, I hold the bottle against my palm for a long moment, only realizing belatedly that my fingers are shaking.
Asher’s voice is soft as he shifts on his knees next to me. “Go ahead and take one, if that’s what you need.”
But I shake my head. “I have to save what I have left. The doctors won’t prescribe me anymore.”
“You don’t need a doctor to get pain meds,” Asher scoffed. “If you need more, I can get you more.”
“Wow, that almost sounds like you’re not being judgmental.” The offer is so tempting that I know accepting it would be a terrible decision. “Everybody else warns me about taking too much whenever they see a pill bottle.”
“Maybe they don’t know what it’s like to be in pain that’s so bad you’d do anything to stop it. And I probably don’t have a leg to stand on in the judgment department.” Asher holds his hand out for the bottle and I reluctantly relinquish it. He studies the label for less than a minute before opening the top and peering inside. “This shouldn’t be too hard to come by.”
I want to ask him why he’s so willing to help me, but I have no illusions about getting a straight answer. And the part of my brain not overwhelmed by pain or fear sounds a warning. “What would you want in return?”
Asher shrugs, as if the idea of a quid pro quo had never occurred to him. He fishes a single tablet out with his fingers and holds it up to my lips. “Open.”
And I let him place the bitter pill on my tongue, the taste of it like the dark promise of something more. His fingers rest against my mouth for a beat too long, leaving a trail of heat in their wake when he finally pulls away. I don’t want to focus on how good it feels to have his touch on my skin and he doesn’t make any other movements to close the distance between us.
Relief isn’t immediate but my body relaxes with just the knowledge that it’s coming soon. Even the tension that I didn’t realize I carried in my shoulders eases and a mild headache that had been forming recedes in intensity.
Asher watches the change come over me with a look on his face that almost resembles fascination. He closes the bottle and places it back on the nightstand. “Don’t worry. I won’t let you run out.”
It feels like a deal with the devil, even though he hasn’t asked me for anything. I stare into his mercurial eyes and wonder if it will ever be possible to trust him.
“How long before you start acting like an asshole again?” I ask, lips twisting in what might be a smile.
He has the nerve to grin. “About five minutes, maybe less.”
And even though I know it’s a terrible idea, I find myself leaning closer to him. It’s as if we’re opposing magnets drawn together against our will. I want to hate him and I don’t want him to help me. But I crave his touch so desperately that it terrifies me.
Asher kisses me in a way that’s surprisingly hesitant, as if he thinks that I might push him away. Sparks light up along my skin when his hand raises to brush my cheek. The kiss deepens into something more passionate as my lips part underneath his and he takes control. Asher kisses like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, all passion and possession. He tastes like cinnamon gum and darkness.
His tongue teases mine before he gently nips at my lower lip, making my lower belly clench. My hands grip the rough fabric of his uniform shirt and I have to resist the urge to tear it off his body so I can see his bare chest. I have a ridiculous urge to run my tongue down the hard plane of his abs just to find out what it tastes like. My desire for him has to be some form of insanity because nothing about it makes any sense at all.
Both our phones ping at the same time. The sound startles me enough that I leap back as if I’ve been burned and the familiar mask of disinterest descends on his face. When I look down at my phone, there’s another anonymous message from the Inner Circle on my lock screen. The last thing I want to do is open the app to read it.
You are late. Fuck on your own time. Be in the dining hall in five minutes or there will be consequences.
-Anonymous
My first thought is to take offense that our blackmailer thinks Asher and I are having sex. Then I realize something significantly more frightening.
Ignoring the surprised sound that Asher makes, I jump to my feet and rush to the door. Outside, the courtyard is completely deserted. I study each darkened window and the shadowy corners between buildings, but nothing moves, not even in the shifting wind. It’s late enough in the morning that there aren’t any students milling around, we only have a few minutes before our first class is supposed to start Most people are still at breakfast or already in their classrooms.
But there has to be someone out there.
The only way anyone could know the guys had just left my room is if they were out there watching. Even though the courtyard is deserted, I can feel myself being studied like a butterfly with its winged pin underneath a microscope. It could be paranoia, or something else entirely.
“We should go,” Asher says from behind me, his tone expressionless. In the blink of an eye, he’s back to being the guy who doesn’t care about anyone or anything. “The student body is in for a show on their video feeds, otherwise.”
“Fuck off.” I spit out the words as I grab my bag and he follows me outside.
As much I want to tell him to leave me alone, the threat in that message is impossible to forge. If I don’t let him walk me to class, then there will be consequences and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what those might be.
Only one thought consumes my thoughts as Asher falls into step behind me on the path.
Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean someone isn’t actually out to get you.
Chapter 2
Cold air burns my throat as I walk down the path leading to Bellamy Hall. Bellamy fucking Hall, as if I needed a clearer warning I’m in a world that doesn’t forgive weakness. I should have known from the beginning that things would never go right at a place willing to put that last name on a building.
Adrenaline keeps my heart pumping hard in my chest, so I feel each beat in my temples. My stomach churns with anxiety and I can’t stop the furtive glances that I shoot around the empty courtyard.
Even though Asher and I are alone, it’s impossible to fight the feeling that I’m being watched. It’s making me crazy. I’ve never been more tempted to run away than I am right now. Nothing that’s happened until now compares being spied on, especially in the way we’ve already been violated. The conspiracy theorist in me wants to search the sky for government drones or spy satellites. My life feels like it’s become the opening scene in a shitty thriller movie on late night cable.
And Asher doesn’t bother with doing or saying anything to reassure me, not that I’d expect him to. Even though the campus is deserted, we’re still basically out in public. He won’t do anything to potentially make people think we’re anything but enemies.
Lukas and Kai are standing on the steps leading up to the building, their shoulders hunched in identical poses against the wind. Despite their identical faces, it’s amazing to me that I ever confused them for each other. Kai wears sweetness on the outside to hide the turmoil within. And Lukas tricks everyone with the roughened exterior when really he’s a teddy bear underneath.
Two sides of the same coin. Two very different personalities, but I’m equally drawn to them both. Both of them have done things that hurt me in the past, but all of that pales in comparison to what brings us together now.
“What are you two assholes waiting for?” Asher asks, fully back in jerk mode now that we have an audience. “You’re going to be late.”
“We wanted to make sure that Lily made it to class okay,” Lukas drawls, crossing his arms over his chest as
he leans back against the stone wall along the steps. “You know, it’s that thing you do when you give a shit about someone.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” Asher shoves his hands into the pockets of his blazer. “I even went back to check on her when you dicks left her alone.”
The look on Kai’s face is full of challenge. “Just to check on her? I find that hard to believe.”
Asher laughs, and he clearly means the sound of it to be mocking. “You guys know that this whole fighting over the same girl thing is super tired, right?” He mounts the stairs, skirting around Kai to get up the steps. “You want her, you can have her.”
I watch him go, fighting off both disgust and a fair amount of pity. God forbid he admit to his friends that there might be something between us. He’d rather alienate them completely than admit he has feelings for me. But I remind myself that even the twins don’t get along as well as they should when I’m around. It doesn’t make me feel good that I’m a wedge driving them all apart.
Or bringing them together, the sly voice whispers through my mind.
I shake off the radical thought. Eventually, I am going to have to choose between them, life doesn’t exactly work any other way.
“Was he messing with you?” Kai asks, glaring over his shoulder at Asher’s retreating back.
“Not any more than I can handle,” I assure him as I climb the steps toward the large double doors leading into Bellamy Hall. “Although, I can’t help but feel like you guys would be better off without me in the mix.”
“Untrue,” Kai corrects as he slings his bag over his shoulder. “This has just been a messed up year. All of us are on edge.”
“What about you two?” I gesture between them as Lukas falls into step with us. With both of them on either side of me, it’s hard not to think of myself as sandwiched between them. That thought has more implications than I want to contemplate in the middle of a school hallway. A twin sandwich just isn’t an appropriate thing to think about right now. “I bet you guys barely ever fought before I showed up.”
“Are you kidding?” Kai’s grin widens as he drops an arm around my shoulders. “We were kicking each other’s asses in the womb. It’s been a nonstop battle royale since conception.”
I can’t stop the small smile that crosses my face, despite the turmoil of my thoughts. “Your poor mother.”
“Oh, she gets us back every chance she gets.” Lukas assures me. “Matching sweaters at Christmas, pretending she can’t tell us apart, reminding us on every birthday that she really wanted girls.”
“Sounds like about what you deserve,” I say with a laugh.
“Harsh, but true.” Lukas holds the doors open for us. It’s late enough that the hallway is deserted.
“At some point you’ll meet her and see what we mean,” Kai says, as he waits for me to precede him into the building. “Our mother is a force to be reckoned with, which is the polite way of putting it.”
“Does she drive a mustang that’s older than you are and try to get you to dye your hair the same color as hers, because that’s my mom,” I tell them, which only forces me to recall that Trish is practically unrecognizable from the woman she used to be. “At least, that was how she was before.”
“Money changes people.” Lukas lets the door slam shut with a loud bang that reverberates off the marble floor and cathedral ceilings. “We’ve seen it, too.”
They used to be poor, or at least the income level of most normal people, I remember. Both of them seem so comfortable in this world that it’s difficult to keep in mind that they have some inkling of what I’ve experienced.
“Does it ever stop being weird? All of this I mean?” My gesture encompasses not only the unnecessary grandeur of Bellamy Hall, but all the things that separate this world from the real one.
“Eventually, it’s something that you don’t really notice every day,” Kai says with a shrug. I get the feeling he’s the type who can fit in pretty much anywhere, like a chameleon. Even if that assuredness is all just superficial. “Occasionally, something will happen that reminds you how different things have become. Like you showing up here, for one.”
My eyebrows shoot up my forehead. “Me, why?”
It’s Lukas who answers. “You were like a breath of fresh air, or cold winter wind when there’s still supposed to be a few days left of Fall. Unexpected, is probably the best word for it.”
“Unexpected,” I repeat, turning the word over in my mind. “I guess that’s not the worst thing in the world.”
I realize it’s so much easier to deal with them both at the same time, then either of them alone. It isn’t as if they aren’t whole people on their own, but together they form something greater than any one person by themselves.
But let’s be honest, the hardest thing to not think about is the idea of a twin sandwich.
And then I realize that, for a few glorious moments, I’ve almost forgotten that all of us are being blackmailed over a sex tape. And with that realization, everything sort of crashes back on me, leaving me reeling.
“I need to get to class,” I tell them a little breathlessly, suddenly overcome with an anxiety that freezes the blood in my veins.
How can I hold a normal conversation when my life might be destroyed at any moment? I won’t be getting into any decent colleges if there’s a sextape of me floating around. And if I do manage to get in somewhere, Carter isn’t going to want out to shell out the cash for tuition once I’ve publicly embarrassed him with all this.
“You good?” Kai asks at the same time that Lukas grips my arms and says, “Are you okay.”
“I’m fine,” I tell them both, wondering if they can hear the lie in my words. “I’ll catch up with you guys later.”
Not waiting for a response because any more words will make me burst into tears, I turn and run straight into the muscled wall of a man’s chest.
I look up to see the last person that I ever thought to see gracing the hallway of Bellamy Hall. Surprise briefly overcomes my anxiety.
“Liam…I mean, Mr. Cardill. What are you doing here?”
Liam looks way better than the last time that I saw him. Gone is the five o’clock shadow and hair desperately in need of a haircut. Instead of the grubby t-shirt and tattered jeans that I last saw him in, today he’s wearing a corduroy blazer with patches on the elbows and a pair of jeans so fitted that they have to be tailored. He looks even better than he did when we first met, before he lost his job at the school. A surprised gasp catches in my throat.
“It’s nice to see you again, Ms. Murphy. I hope you’ve had a productive term in my absence,” he says, as if we haven’t spoken a word to each other since he was escorted off campus last term. “Mr. and Mr. Greenfield-Walton. I assume you’ve been well.”
“Are you supposed to be here?” I splutter the question, words falling out of my mouth before I can stop them. Confusion loosens my tongue and makes me more likely to say something that I shouldn’t. The last time that I saw Liam, I’d been the one in control. But his sudden appearance has me knocked completely off balance. “Does Dean Felton know you’re here?”
“I know everything that happens on my campus.” Felton steps up behind Mr. Cardill like he’d just appeared there by magic. More likely, I’d been too overwhelmed by Liam’s sudden appearance to notice that the dean was standing behind him. “Mr. Cardill has been reinstated as a member of our faculty, effective immediately. Some of you have already been reassigned to his room.”
“That’s great,” Kai offers, his voice as surprised as I feel. “We missed having you in class.”
But Lukas gets right to the point. “How are you back when you got fired?”
“There was a bit of a misunderstanding,” Liam says with a small smile. “Dean Felton and I were just discussing some of the finer details.”
Kai shakes his head. “But we watched you get escorted off campus, it doesn’t really make sense that—”
“That’s enough for now.” Interru
pting, Dean Felton casts a pointed look at the expensive watch on his wrist. “All of this is conversation for another time. I believe the three of you are about to be late for class.”
Liam gives me another small smile before turning to follow Dean Felton down the hallway toward his office. There was nothing in the way he spoke to me that we’d been making out in his apartment only a few weeks ago.
But I guess we all have at least a few secrets to hide.
“So Mr. Cardill is back,” Kai says, an almost dangerous note in his voice.
His voice startles me because for a minute I’d forgotten the twins were there, my mind whirling with this new piece of the puzzle. “I guess so.”
“That’s a little strange, right?” Lukas stares down the hallway as Dean Felton and Mr. Cardill disappear around a corner. “I mean, how did Mr. Cardill get his job back? Felton really seemed to enjoy kicking him out on his ass last term, so why bring him back?”
“We all know that Chloe lied,” I say. I’m sure even Dean Felton knew she was lying at the time, whether or not he actually cared. “Maybe Liam — Mr. Cardill, I mean — was able to prove his innocence.”
If either of them notice the slip, they don’t comment on it. If I don’t stop calling my math teacher by his given name, people are going to get suspicious.
“We already know there’s a blackmailer running around,” Kai points out. “Maybe we aren’t the only ones with dirt being dug up about them.”
Lukas’s expression is grim. “Well, you know what this means.”
I look at them with equal amounts of dread and confusion, taking in the frowning expressions on both their faces. “What?”
“Mr. Liam Cardill just made the list of suspects.”
List of Blackmail Suspects
1. Chloe Devlin
2. The Female Diamonds: Maisie Howard, Grace Khan, Ocean Foley
3. Adult Alumni? - But why?
4. Dean Felton
5. Someone else we’re too stupid to consider Liam Cardill