by L. A. Sable
“God, you really know how to kick a gift horse in the teeth. You want to talk about it, fine. Chloe has been my friend since elementary school and I still remember when everyone used to make fun of her for having weird gaps in her teeth until her dad paid to get them bonded. But she let all of this shit go to her head and it convinced her she was too big to fail.” Grace’s words are clipped, but the hand she uses to pencil in my eyebrows is completely steady. She draws a line, squints and then uses a makeup wipe to fix an apparent mistake. “I warned her about a dozen times to stop messing with you because I knew it wouldn’t end well, but she didn’t want to listen. Deciding that I don’t want to go down on her sinking ship doesn’t make me a hypocrite. That’s just how it works here. And if our situations had been reversed, I would expect Chloe to do the exact same thing to me.”
I look for some hint of emotion in her face and think that maybe I see a flash of sadness in her dark eyes. But it’s hidden under a layer of practicality so complete that it’s indistinguishable from vicious ferocity. Grace will do whatever it takes to survive, because the alternative isn’t something even worth contemplating.
“Well, I hope Chloe is doing okay.”
“She’s like a cat, always lands on her feet. You should be more concerned with making sure you never leave your room looking like this again.” Grace snaps a blush compact shut with a decisive click as she takes a step back. “That’s the best we’re going to do here, I think. Take a look.”
I’m more than a little surprised at what Grace has managed to accomplish in such a small amount of time. My skin looks clear and glowy with no hint of the sagging tiredness that put dark circles under my eyes. “Thanks, this was really nice of you to do.”
“You’re welcome and it won’t happen again, so get your shit together.” She quickly gathers up her belongings and then slings the bag over her shoulder. “See you in class.”
I inspect myself in the mirror one last time and sighed before leaving the bathroom. Grace was right that walking around school looking like Wednesday Addams isn’t going to make anything about this situation better.
And I’m even more relieved that Grace saved me from myself when I walk into my math class and Mr. Cardill is standing at the front of the room. His heated gaze briefly rests on my face as I hesitate in the doorway, but he doesn’t say anything about me being late.
Jayden watches me as I maneuver between the desks. His hand briefly touches my hand and a spark of heat flashes between us. I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from gasping. When I slide into the seat and look back up to the front, Liam stares at us with a strange expression on his face, eyes narrowed.
Someone clears their throat, and Liam seems to snap back into an awareness of his surroundings.
“Mr. Sommers is ill so I’ll be taking over your class for the next few days,” Liam said, voice a touch too loud in the otherwise silent room. He tips open the lesson planner and briefly glances down at it. “It looks like you guys are on Chapter Twelve. I’ve written a problem on the board, would someone like to volunteer to come up and solve it?”
Someone near the front raises their hand and I promptly stop paying attention as I idly doodle in the corner of my notebook. Liam isn’t usually the type to call on students that aren’t paying attention and even if he were, I’d like to think I get a little sympathy what with the dead mom and all, so I let my mind wander.
I’m not surprised when a folded note lands on my desk, bouncing once and then flipping over to rest against my fingers. A slight smile touches my lips as I wonder what he’s written, hopefully nothing sexually explicit. I expected myself to feel guilt over what happened with Jayden last night, not because it was bad, but because that seems to be the only emotion I’m capable of producing these days. But a calming warmth spreads over me as I think about. Maybe it was the bit of tough love that I got from Grace. Although, she doesn’t like me anywhere near enough to call it love. Tough almost-niceness, maybe. Regardless, I realize that I’m allowing my life to go to shit. I can’t change anything that’s happened, but I can choose how to respond to it.
And I’m choosing to focus on the good.
But when I unfold the note and lay it flat under a page of the notebook, all while casting surreptitious glances to the front to ensure Liam isn’t watching, I’m surprised to find that there’s complete gibberish written on it.
R S Z W U I B O Z G H B R T S H
I glance at Jayden in confusion and he grins at me in response. His smile only widens as I continue to stare at him with no comprehension of what the hell this is. Finally, taking pity on me, he taps the back of his finger and then looks pointedly at my hands.
The decoder ring, duh. He silently laughs at my heavy sigh as I realize what an idiot I’m being. Mr. Cardill is still facing the board watching a student solve his equation. I slip off the ring and lean forward over my desk so Liam won’t see me playing with it if he turns back. The decoder ring uses a simple substitution cipher, definitely nothing that could stand up to actual code-breaking efforts but it was intended for kids, after all. I only have to turn the outermost dial to match up the letter written on the page with the actual letter of the alphabet it represents. Jayden probably has the code memorized from his years working on the show.
R S Z W U I B O Z G H B R T S H
I H A D F U N L A S T N I G H T
A hot blush suffuses my skin as I fold the paper away and tuck it under my textbook. I make a point of not looking at Jayden because if I do, my face will turn the color of a vine-ripened tomato.
“Me too,” I say so softly that it’s barely a whisper as I train my gaze on the blackboard, even though I’m not actually comprehending anything I’m looking at.
Jayden reaches across the narrow space between our desks and glides it along the back of my hand, making me shiver.
“We keep our hands to ourselves in my classroom, Mr. Heart,” Liam turns and casts a repressive glare in our direction. “I know it’s been some time since I last had you in class, but the rules haven’t changed.”
“Sorry,” Jayden replies easily, sounding completely unrepentant.
But we make a point of actually paying attention to the lesson for the rest of class. When I rise from my chair at the end of the period, Liam’s voice washes over me like warm rain.
“Ms. Murphy, I need a moment of your time.”
Jayden raises his eyebrows at me, expression making it clear that he doesn’t have any intention of leaving me alone.
“You’re excused, Mr. Heart,” Liam adds, a note of sarcasm in his voice, making it clear he knows exactly what the next thing out of Jayden’s mouth will be.
Jayden makes a point of grabbing my hand and squeezing it. “I’ll save you a seat in English.”
Liam waits until the door shuts behind Jayden before he turns to face me while I stand awkwardly near a desk in the front row. His gaze searches my face for a long moment before he sighs and leans back against the large teacher’s desk at the front of the room.
“You know passing notes in class is against the rules.”
I narrow my eyes at him. In that split second, I decide that if he’s not going to act like a teacher, then I don’t need to act like a student because he doesn’t sound like a concerned educator. He sounds jealous. “I wasn’t under the impression that Diamonds had to follow the rules.”
A brief smile twists his lips but is gone just as quickly. “It’s only been a few months, and that’s already gone to your head.”
I shrug, deciding he can believe what he wants. “Just stating the obvious.”
“You look tired.”
Apparently Grace’s mini-makeover wasn’t enough to fool him. “I am tired and a lot of other things. Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?”
He clears his throat, but continues to stare at me like there’s something he’s searching for in my expression. “The police reached out to me this morning about coming down to get fingerprinted.”
&nbs
p; “The detectives asked me for a list of all the people who were at the party that night. I assume you heard that they’re investigating my mom’s death as a homicide. That means everyone there that night is a potential suspect.” It’s getting easier me to talk about this without pain rising in me so sharply that it feels like I might die from it. Hopefully, when we figure out who the hell did this, even more of the agony will fade, even if I’m certain that it will never go away completely. But as I watch Liam standing uneasily in front of me, the same niggling suspicions that I thought I’d conquered sneak back in. “That’s not a problem, is it?”
He rubs the back of his neck, averting his gaze. “I just didn’t think you’d give them my name.”
“You were there, weren’t you?”
“Well yes, but it was a party at the house of one of my students. Not something that I exactly want to discuss with the police.”
Something is different between us and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but it makes me wary.
He lets out a rueful laugh. His heated gaze passes briefly over my body, but instead of responding to it I just look away. “I am very aware of your age, believe me. But I just wanted to make sure that there’s not anything else I should be expecting when I go down to the station.”
Liam Cardill did not kill my mother. I test the words in my own mind, exploring them for truth, as I stare him down and the silence stretches. I don’t want to believe that he’s capable of doing it, but someone at that party has to be the one responsible. Why not him?
“As long as you didn’t murder Trish, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. But I’d appreciate if you get the fingerprints done sooner rather than later.”
“Yeah, sure.”
He looks surprised at the vehemence of my tone, as if he should somehow be exempt from the scrutiny I’ve turned on everyone in my life. That only serves to annoy me more.
“I have to go before I’m late for my next class.” I ease toward the door, eyeing him warily. I remind myself that I don’t actually need his permission to leave the room, but lines between student and teacher have become so blurry that it confuses me. Things would probably be less complicated if we just fucked and moved on, but something tells me our chance has come and gone. “Was there anything else you need to talk to me about?”
“No, of course you should go.” He blows out a hard rush of air and stares briefly up at the ceiling as if he is silently praying for help. “I just want to make sure you know I’m here if you need me. This will all get easier with time.”
I nod and smile, even though there isn’t a single pleasant thought behind the motion.
Things will be easier when my mother’s killer is behind bars. I just have to focus on surviving until then.
Chapter 14
It’s been weeks since I had lunch with all the guys at once, usually at least one or more of them has had somewhere else to be or wants to eat at a different time. So I’m a little surprised when they all arrive at my table like some invading force and make themselves comfortable.
Particularly when Asher slides into the seat right next to me, making of a point to ignore the dirty looks that he receives from the others.
“I swear I’m not going to run off and get high during lunch,” I say drolly. “The best dealers are over an hour away so I’d never get back in time.”
It’s a terrible joke, this whole thing won’t be funny for at least a few months, so Asher is the only one who lets out a choked sort of laugh. As a reward, I turn and smile at him.
“Has the ban been lifted?” I ask, one eyebrow raised. “I assume you’re allowed to come within twenty yards of me now.”
“Only under direct supervision,” he says with a sardonic smile, nodding at his friends. “But I’m hoping to be paroled soon.”
“I really want to say that you two deserve each other, but Lily hasn’t made that many mistakes.” Jayden takes the seat on my other side and picks up his menu. “It would take a lifetime of terrible decisions for her to deserve you.”
Asher drapes his arm over the back of his chair so his fingers just barely brush my hair. “That doesn’t sound like a joke, but I’m going to assume it is. Just because I know how much you love me, man.”
I expect myself to feel embarrassed as Lukas and Kai take the seats across from us. But both their smiles when they catch me looking are open and without censure. Those smiles make one thing perfectly clear. Whatever awful shit I said or did while I detoxed off that medication is over with and forgotten. They’re not going to hold it against me, even though they probably should.
“Kai, can you pass me that water glass?”
His expression is one of exaggerated surprise. “That’s amazing. You can tell us apart.”
Okay, maybe not forgotten. “You guys are never going to let me live that down, are you?”
Lukas grins as reaches across his brother for the glass and slides it over to me. “Probably not. And I’m Kai, by the way.”
I hesitate for a fraction of a second and both their smiles widen. “Fuck off. No, you’re not.”
“But are you sure?”
I’m so sure that I lean over the table, giving them a very nice view down the unbuttoned collar of my shirt, thanking myself for putting on a nice bra this morning. “I’m so sure you’re Lukas Greenfield-Walton that if I’m wrong, I will get down on my knees and suck your dick right now.”
Lukas’s mouth falls open the smallest amount before he cocks his head toward his brother. “Think it’s worth it to try lying?”
“Okay, you got us.” Kai’s gaze lingers on my chest before rising to my face, eyes full of heat. “Your lack of twin-ception was just momentary insanity.”
“I really am sorry for the way I acted,” I tell them as I lean back in my chair. “I promise that I will make it up to you.”
Kai’s tone is full of sexual innuendo. “Oh yeah, you will.”
A shiver works its way up my spine and I force myself not to think about what else happened while the twins nursed me back to health. I definitely said some things that I would not have if I was in my right mind. “Well, I’m at your beck and call.”
“Not yet,” one of them murmurs. “But you will be.”
And if I dissolve into a puddle in the middle of the dining hall, it will not be a good look. I remind myself that a dozen people are probably listening in to this conversation. I have to change the subject before I soak through my skirt. “Have you guys made plans for your summer, yet?”
A waiter comes by to take our order, interrupting Kai’s response and giving me a chance to cool down. I surreptitiously pluck a piece of ice from my water glass and rub it on the back of my neck where sweat has broken out on my nape. When I look up, Lukas is watching me with a knowing smile. I drop my hand and let the ice slide down my back, even as I imagine that it’s one of their tongues.
I should be used to being close to them like this, but it seems like a little more than I’m capable of handling today. Thank God we’re some place public and not alone, there’s no telling if I’d managed to control myself otherwise.
When the waiter comes around to me, I order the first thing listed on the menu without bothering to actually read what it is.
“Dad wants us to intern with him at his company this summer. Boring as hell, but at least they have a foosball table and doggie daycare on site. Pretty standard Silicon Valley tech stuff.”
It’s only belatedly that I realize Lukas is answering the question that I asked them a few minutes earlier. “It’ll probably be a good experience, career-wise.”
“Uh, correction. Dad wants you to intern with him this summer.” Kai puts the end of his straw to his mouth and blows hard enough to send the wrapper shooting across the room. “He hasn’t even talked to me about it.”
Lukas sighs like this is an old argument. “He would if you showed any sort of interest. Dad wants you there even more than me. You’re the one who always knows how to work the room at b
oard meetings.”
“Yeah, no thanks.” Despite his cavalier tone, Kai drums his fingers on the table, revealing some inner source of tension. “I’d rather spend my summer in the Greek islands on a yacht getting sun and eating finger sandwiches. You have fun with all the board meetings.”
Even I’m surprised by his response, Kai didn’t quite strike me as someone happily to act like the idle rich playboy with no purpose in life. “You do realize that the money you need for the yacht doesn’t make itself, right?”
Kai narrows his eyes at me, but Lukas interrupts before he can say whatever caustic thing is on his tongue.
“Kai is just mad because our father told him last week that he’s on his own for tuition at college if he wants to major in anything aside from business or pre-law.”
“You might be happy with following the old man in lockstep, but that doesn’t mean I am.”
“Is that what I think it is?” Asher leans over me, voice loud enough to break through the conversation. I get the feeling that he sensed the growing tension and is trying to alleviate it. It makes me respect him just a touch more.
When I follow his gaze, I realize that he’s looking at the Z-cipher ring. “I’m surprised you recognize it.”
“Are you kidding? I have one, too. Although it’s the crappy kind you used to be able to get in cereal boxes.” He reaches for my hand, and tilts it so that the ZZ initials reflect in the overhead light. “Apparently, I didn’t rate the real thing.”
“No, you did not,” Jayden breaks in, no trace of remorse in his voice. “And for your information, the one I gave you is a certified replica. It’s not from a cereal box, you asshole.”
“Whatever, it’s not the one made of 18k gold, either.”
“Well, if I ever decide to get down on one knee and ask for your hand in marriage, then you can bitch about the quality of metal in your ring.”
“I’m just saying that you used to tell me I was the only one for you. How do you think this makes me feel?”