I withdrew, setting no tempo, no rhythm, no expectations. Just me, moving in her. And she was so, so good to be inside.
“Yes,” I breathed. “What we are now is amazing, little bird, but yes. There’s more. There needs to be more. There’s more than just us, and things we don’t know.”
Pulling her in tight to me, I rolled us so she was on top of me, my erection still buried in her. She rose up and planted her hands on my chest and began rocking on me. I watched as her soft breasts moved with her. Wren was just beautiful and perfect.
She leaned down and kissed me languidly as her body glided over mine, taking her pleasure and giving me mine. I snaked my hand between our bodies and found her clit. At the pace she set, I just brushed my finger over her, to send a shiver through her body, to make her pussy grab me a little tighter.
“I love fucking you, Fischer,” she whispered. “I fucking love you.”
“I love you too, little bird,” I answered, and moved my hips up to meet hers as she came down.
“Mmm, just like that…”
She moved with a little more purpose over me and I could feel my climax as a rising burn in my spine. I wrapped a hand around her plush hip and moved her a little more quickly.
Understanding my request exactly, her glide turned to a sharp movement on my cock—not rough, but with purpose. My finger became more insistent on her clit and her breath caught with each pass over the bundled nerves.
“I’m going to come, Fischer.”
“Please,” I said, my voice quiet in our room. “Please. Come so I can fill you…”
“Ohhh…” Even when we weren’t being dirty, I loved being dirty, and talk like that gave her a boost.
Dancing the pad of my finger over her faster, she exploded with a climax. Her pussy bore down on my cock, caressing me in a welcoming rhythm, and as she shook and shivered through the orgasm, mine took over my body and mind. I did just as I promised and filled her deep.
She curled into my body a moment later and laid her head on my shoulder. She stretched and settled, and pressed a kiss on my skin. “So good.”
I trailed my fingers up and down her arm, just feeling the soft smooth skin of her body.
“You feel like there’s more to us,” I said, bringing the conversation back around now that we weren’t occupied.
“I do,” she answered. “I told you I had a vision with Lincoln. But…Lily triggered one the other day. She…well, she reacted totally differently than either of us, or Laxmi and Miriam.”
“What do you mean?”
“She wasn’t shocked by the visions, but what it was we saw. She seemed to think that I did it on purpose at first. But…she was not shocked that it was me.”
“She wasn’t surprised?”
“Only by what we saw. Not that it happened, or that it was me. This is why I keep thinking someone isn’t telling us the whole truth.”
“But who is there to tell us the truth?” I asked. “Your parents are gone. Mine are adoptive, Laxmi’s are adoptive…”
“Miriam is adopted,” she said slowly. “Lincoln’s parents are gone. Elutheria’s parents are gone. The twin’s parents are gone. Ben’s father won’t have anything to do with him…”
We caught each other’s gaze. “That’s an awful lot of people without parents in this little group,” I whispered. “I’ll put money on Haden’s parents being gone, and I’d even venture on Vance and Paige.”
“I know Paige’s are gone, that’s the reason she started the foster agency,” Wren answered.
“What the hell, Wren. How is it all these people have no blood family and we’ve managed to pull them into our orbit?”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. There’s something else going on here. Something I think we have to figure out,” she whispered. “The way I feel like there’s more to us than just us.”
I didn’t want to agree with that—I wanted to be greedy with my little bird in my bed. “I’ve been feeling like that too. That even with Ellie here, there’s meant to be others. And I’m…” I swallowed hard, swallowing my pride. “I’m not talking about children or just people staying with us for safety reasons.”
Her breath escaped slowly. “I think it’s Lincoln.”
Tracing my fingers over her cheek, I admitted what had been filtering through my brain for a few weeks. After a few random little visions that she and I had here and there, it had been planted in my brain. I had ignored the idea. I didn’t want to admit it.
“I think it’s more than just Lincoln.”
A quiet moment passed. “I think you’re right.” There were tears glistening in her eyes. “I don’t understand any of this, it’s frightening. I love you, Fischer. What makes me think I need more than that?”
“Maybe…” I paused, trying to figure out how to say it. “Maybe it’s not you that needs more, Wren. Maybe it’s…us. The others. The ones we’ve been seeing in the visions.”
She choke-laughed. “All of them?”
“Well, you’ll never be alone…”
“We, Fischer. We. I’m in this with you. You are my first love. You are my always love. No matter what happens from now forward, our place is together.”
“God, Wren. I love you so much.”
“That’s why we’ll always be together,” she whispered. “My first. My always.”
“How the hell do we handle all this?” I asked. “Everyone we know is involved. How do we determine what’s what and who’s who?”
Her finger traced my jaw. “I think we have to let it unfold, bit by bit.” She smirked. “You know Lincoln has been after me?”
“That would be why I was growling at him the other day.” I laughed. “I was feeling a little…territorial.”
“I challenged him.” She smiled.
“Challenged him how?”
“He had to go through you to get to me.”
I laughed. “You did. You would.”
She leaned up on an elbow and smiled. “He’s a greedy prick, but he’s good looking. And haven’t we talked about bringing someone else into bed?”
Chuckling, I touched her nose. “Speaking of greedy.”
She snapped at my finger with her teeth. “Maybe.”
“But Lincoln?”
“Please. He has a delightful ass.” I tipped my hand back and forth, and she gasped, laughing. “You looked!”
“My dear, little bird, I’m straight, not dead.” I rolled my eyes. “He has a nice ass. He also has a set of abs on him.” Leaning closer, I whispered in her ear, “I wouldn’t mind seeing you trace those with your tongue.”
She grinned. “You’re my first and always, so don’t you let him in this bed without a proper fight, Fischer.” Pausing she raised an eyebrow. “Preferably oiled up. Naked.” She disappeared into that little fantasy for a moment, and added, “Can I video that?”
I burst out laughing.
Wren
Ellie was sitting on the couch, curled up. For a moment I thought she was asleep, but then I saw her shake and knew she was crying.
I sat down next to her. “Ellie-belle, what’s wrong?” I was curious—we had kept the news about her brother under wraps. She didn’t need that on top of everything else she was dealing with.
Smearing the tears off her face, she looked at me. “You’d never believe me if I said it was nothing.”
“You’re right,” I answered.
She took a steadying breath. “So, I like this guy at school. And he likes me. He’s just the nicest guy ever, and when I told him we have to take it super slow because of my past, he was so, so understanding.”
I held up a hand. “Name?”
“Mason.”
“Thank you, please continue.” I smiled. “I just didn’t want you to keep saying he and him.”
It got a small smile out of her, so it felt like a victory. A moment later it slipped away, and she had tears in her eyes again. I put my hand on hers and waited for her to go on.
“He’s been
very, very sweet. He’s fun to be around. He treats me like a real person. And I explained I have a lot of fucked up trauma in my life and I just have to work on it. So he’s been waiting. He waited for me to hold his hand, and I gave him permission to put his arm around my waist, then my shoulders. I worked my way up to a peck on the cheek and then a peck on lips. I thought I was ready for a real kiss.” Her eyes were wide and tears were sliding down her face. “I wanted to be ready for a real kiss. But when he kissed me, deep, I completely freaked out. Like ran out of the building crying freaked out. All I could think about was how Mister Passyunk used to stick his tongue into my mouth and how disgusted I was by that.
“I don’t want to associate someone as nice as Mason with filth that used me. I don’t want to think about all the johns who tried to kiss me before that.”
Ellie turned and pushed her face into my shoulder and really stared sobbing. I wrapped my arms around her and just held her while her whole body shook with each sob.
I heard her whisper, “I just want to be normal.”
It took her another five minutes to get ahold of herself. I waited. I was there for her, and I could and would wait as long as she needed. But finally, she did look up at me, her cheeks wet and eyes red.
“Teach me how to be normal?”
The laugh escaped me. “Oh, baby doll, you are barking up the wrong tree there.”
She giggled. “But you and Fischer are happy. You’re comfortable…well, more than comfortable with your sexuality. I’m a jumbled mess of emotion and PTSD. I want to be where you are. I want to be able to kiss the boys I like, hold hands. Not completely freak him out if and when we get to the sex thing. I don’t want to be a nun.”
“Fischer and I don’t have a past like you, Ellie. You’re fighting a different battle than we ever have.”
“So, I’m stuck?”
“Oh, no, no,” I said, giving her a hug. “That’s the first reason I can’t help you. The second is ethical—you’re almost my daughter, I can’t be your therapist. What I can do, as your almost-mother, is get you to a therapist who specializes in sexual trauma. He can help you work through all this, and help you take this one step at a time.”
“He?” She cocked her head.
“Yes, his name is Doctor Sebastian Mederos. He’s the best at sexual trauma, and I’m sure he can help you. I can call him,” I looked at my watch, “now if you like, and get you an appointment.”
“Can you? Would you please? Mason is just the sweetest and I don’t want to freak him out with this stuff. He doesn’t deserve that.”
I put a finger under her chin and turned her to look at me. “You don’t deserve this. Don’t do it for a boy…do it for you, baby doll.”
She nodded. “Okay. You’re right. As much as Mason is a nice guy that doesn’t mean he’s my guy.”
“Good. You’re sixteen, baby doll. You got a lot of life to live, and I want you to live it the best way you can. Fischer and I want you to not worry about shit like johns and stables, unless that means horses. If seeing Dr. Mederos is going to help you, let’s do it.” I paused. “How much did you explain to Mason?”
“Well, not everything. I just told him I had a rough time up until the past few months,” she said. “I don’t know how much I want to tell someone until I know we’re more than just interested in each other.”
I kissed her forehead. “You’re so much smarter than the average bear, Ellie. I’m proud of you.”
“I still feel like there’s something missing, you know? Like there’s more I should know. Does it make sense if I say it’s a higher calling than just being a high school student?”
I paused. This was insane. She felt it too. “Like you’re missing something. Something is being withheld.”
She jerked a bit. “Missing yes, but more like…not revealed yet.”
“Fischer…well, he and I had the same conversation. I don’t know what’s going on, but…”
“Something is coming,” she whispered.
I nodded. “Precisely.”
“But what? Why? What’s going on? It feels…big. Dangerous. Frightening.”
“I agree, and I don’t know…” I thought for a moment. “You know what? Let’s have lunch with Miriam and Laxmi. I think they’re in on this Big Thing too, and maybe we can figure it out with them.”
“Lunch with the ladies.” She smiled. “I could do that.”
It was easy to spot my best friends in the restaurant. Miriam’s curly white-blonde head bobbed over the top of the booth’s bench, and just the very top of Laxmi’s dark black hair could be seen next to her.
They were flirting. Again.
Ellie rolled her eyes and let out a huff as we walked over. I laughed. I couldn’t stop it. Miri and Laxi had been inseparable since mine and Laxmi’s failed attempt at a one-night stand. I couldn’t begrudge them their fun.
Nor could they begrudge me mine.
“Hi!” I shouted, scaring the crap out of the two of them. They jerk apart as Ellie and I fell into peels of laughter. It was so much fun to startle them.
Ellie pointed at me. “This woman wants to be my mother.” She rolled her eyes dramatically.
I pinched her cheek. “My little babuschka.”
“I hope you know what you’re getting into,” Miriam said.
“Who are you addressing?” I asked.
“Both of you.”
We all cracked up laughing, and Ellie and I sat down across from them. It had been an extraordinary stroke of luck we were all able to meet up for dinner that Saturday. I’d managed to get Sebastian to agree to a family session on the following Tuesday so we could establish what we wanted to achieve for goals for Ellie.
I wanted her to be just as happy in her relationships as Fischer and I were. And it was going to take some serious therapy to get her there.
Sticking an elbow in her side, I smiled. “Did you talk to Mason?”
“Ooh,” Miriam cooed. “Mason? Who is this?”
“Jesus on a pogo stick, Wren,” she groaned. “Yes, I talked to Mason after school yesterday. He said he’s sorry I got scared and I explained a little more that he had nothing to do with my freak and run. At all.” She shook her head. “He’s so damn sweet I’m actually scared he’s going to turn out to be a serial killer.”
Laxmi laughed. “You know, good men do actually exist, despite your previous experience.”
“You see,” Miriam said, “men are like onions.”
Ellie leapt into the short pause. “They’re round and make you cry when you peel off a layer?”
I chuckled. “Well, there’s that.”
“Ooh, and if you leave them in your vegetable drawer, they sprout,” Miriam added.
“I’m sorry, are you storing men in our vegetable drawer?” Laxmi asked. “Because if you are, we need to talk.”
“They’d be little men.” Miriam raised an eyebrow.
I leaned my chin on my fist and sighed. “Most are, sweetheart, most are.”
“Fischer?” Miriam gasped.
I grinned. “Hung like a tuna can.”
“Oh! I am not hearing this!” Ellie cried.
It took us a long minute to recover ourselves. The waiter was amused by us gasping for air and trying to calm down. He took our drink order and we managed to calm down a little more so we could read the menu.
We had some small talk over the menu and once the waiter took the orders, Ellie shocked the hell out of me by taking the bull by the horns.
“So, Miri, Laxi,”she started, “have you guys felt like something is going to happen?”
The two of them sobered instantly and glanced at each other. Miriam chewed on her lip and Laxmi took a sip of her water.
“You’re going to have to elaborate on that,” Laxmi said.
“Well, for the past…I guess few months, it’s felt like we’ve been waiting for something to happen. I’m not sure what, or when, but every day it gets to be a little stronger. I didn’t notice it at first, but when
I started thinking about it, I realized that it had been there.”
“What do you think is going to happen?” Miriam asked.
“I don’t know. That’s just the problem. I don’t honestly know. It’s just this feeling of…impending.”
Laxmi scratched her temple thoughtfully. “Well, I mean…I’ve felt that way too for a while. Something is looming. Like we’re being watched and baited and they’re biding their time.”
I heard the leg smack under the table. Miriam to Laxmi. I held my tongue, but gave my best friend a glare to beat all glares.
Ellie, not realizing the perfect segue the smack provided for her next concern, went on. “I also feel like someone isn’t telling any of us something. Not necessarily lying, but not giving us information, not telling…teaching me what I need to know.”
“For me and Fischer,” I added, “it feels like someone is withholding information. Important information that it is critical to our continuing ability to breathe.”
Miriam cleared her throat, lightly. Laxmi shot her a glare and I saw a jerk between them—Laxmi stopping another smack from Miriam.
“It’s been like that for us too,” she said. “Something looming, something dangerous. Something we needed to remember and relearn.”
Miriam’s eyes sliced through Laxmi at that point, and I knew, just knew that something else was going on. I cocked my head and stared at them. They stared at each other. And poor Ellie ping-ponged around the table.
“What the hell is going on?” she whispered.
Finally, Miriam drew away and looked at the two of us sitting there with them.
What she did then wasn’t what she really wanted to do. She was holding something back, but her distraction was just too good.
Miriam put their joined hands on the table.
Diamonds.
“You’re engaged!” Ellie screeched.
“We’re married,” Laxmi said, quietly.
“What the fuck?” I hissed at them. “You got married?!”
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