“I’m not his girl, but I am here to see him. Is he here?” I looked around the showroom and figured he was working in the garage.
“Yeah, he’s here, he’s in the garage, but…”
I gave Torque a smile, took off my shades, and turned toward the front entrance. I figured I’d just go out around the building to find him.
“Wait! Let me go get him for you, okay?” Torque came around the counter, trying to catch up to me.
“That’s okay. I’ll go out and around.” I walked out the front door and headed toward the first garage.
The heavy clouds released their first heavy drops of rain just as I came to the entrance of the first garage. Skully stood next to a bike on the lift, holding a woman in his arms, her back turned to me. He looked up to see me just standing there, frozen. My jaw dropped open as I felt a boulder sink to the bottom of my stomach. I turned away and ran back to my car.
“Tanya! Wait! It’s not what you think!” Skully shouted, and he was close behind me. I made it to my car, shut the door, and locked it. He was there, his palms slapped against my window.
The clouds opened up, and rain poured from above, soaking him. “Tanya! Don’t go! Let me explain!”
I flipped the bird at him and mouthed the words fuck you. I backed my car out, then shifted into drive. My tires spun as I stomped on the gas pedal, peeling out of the Hardcore Cycles parking lot.
I gripped my steering wheel tight with both hands and drove above the speed limit back to my apartment. Tears fell and rolled down my cheeks, ruining my fresh coat of mascara. I made half crescent moon shapes on the inside on my palms. I was so fucking stupid. I wasn’t thinking with my head but with my heart and my pussy. I was so pissed! But I was hurt and embarrassed too. He was holding that woman and comforting her. I had barged in feeling like an intruder. How could Owen explain that away? Once in my apartment, I poured myself some Moscato. It was pucker sweet going down with my first two sips as I slumped on my couch.
I sat on my couch, balling my eyes out for a half hour when I heard three knocks on my door. “Tanya, it’s me, Skully. Will you open the door? I need to talk to you.”
After the second glass of wine, I was feeling the effects, and it helped raise my anger up a notch.
I opened my door to see Skully standing there soaking wet, water dripping from his short, messy dark hair.
I waved him and closed the door. “Say what you need to say and make it quick. I don’t have time for any bullshit lies either,” I snapped.
He stepped inside and spun around to face me, “What you just saw is not what you think it is.”
“Then what the fuck is it, Skully? Some chick all up on you like that? And don’t say it was your sister—"
“No, it’s not my sister. It was Mandi.”
“Mandi? She-devil Mandi?”
“Yes. That Mandi. She used to be Ratchet’s main squeeze, right? She went to Knuck and the Hell Hounds. She’s the one who told Sid and Rusty where they could find Sam, at that bookstore she works at. That’s how they got to her.”
“Why the hell was she there hugging on you?”
He turned away, running a hand through his wet hair. “She told me she feels bad about it now. She heard that I’m not a Hound anymore. She wants out and to get away from the Hell Hounds too. She seemed sincere and started to cry. I was telling her that it would be okay, and I’d help her figure something out.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, and then the images of Matthew came flooding back. Him on his back in our bed … Fucking Melissa, her huge tits smothering his face.
I hurled my full glass of wine at him. “Get the fuck out.”
The glass hit him in the center of his back, crashed to the floor, and shattered into pieces.
He turned back to me and shook his head. “I’m not your ex-douchebag boyfriend. Yeah, I’ve done some pretty fucked up things, selling drugs, fistfights. But I wouldn’t do to you what he did to you. You should come first, remember? And you do come first to me, Tanya. If I walk out, I won’t come back. I’ve been alone all my life. I’ve been beaten and bullied so many fucking times, I lost count. That’s why I joined the Hounds. I was trying to prove something to everyone else. That I had balls. That even though I had a limp, I could pound my fists into any motherfucker who wanted a piece of me. But it made my stomach turn every time I saw how Sid and Rusty abused Sam. The way they treated her—like she was a thing. Not a person. That’s what bullies do.”
“Why are you telling me this, Skully?”
He moved toward me, grabbing my arms. “Because I don’t want to be alone anymore! I’ve fucked so many women I can’t even remember their names or their faces. It was fun, and nothing else. But with you, it’s different. It’s more than fun. It hurts at first because I’m fucking scared. But when I’m with you, when I’m inside you, I don’t hurt anymore. I don’t feel alone!”
Too many words were coming out of his mouth. I stood there, frozen, and my eyes welled up with tears again. “Who do you think I am, Owen? Wonder Woman? I’m not even a whole woman, for fuck’s sake!”
His brows closed in together and I saw the sadness in his dark eyes. He released me, dropping his arms to his sides, and looked down. “You’re my Wonder Woman.” Mumbling, he stepped away and walked out my door.
I cleaned up the shattered wineglass and collapsed back on my couch. I drew my knees up against my chest and broke down. I wasn’t angry at Owen, not really; I was mad at myself. He’d shown me again how sweet he can be. How he put me on a pedestal and made me feel like Wonder Woman. That look of need in his eyes when he was inside me. His need for me.
As I sobbed, my phone on the coffee table rang. Wez was lit up on the screen. I took a deep breath to compose myself, and then I answered. “Hi, Wez. “
“Hey, Tanya. How’s it going, pretty girl?” Wez wore his hair in a mohawk, and his muscled arms were covered in ink, even up along his neck. But his deep, warm voice contradicted his intimidating appearance
“I’m good.”
“That’s good, baby girl. Is Skully there? He told me he was swinging by your place.”
“He just left. How did you know he was coming by?”
“That’s why I called. I was riding home on my bike when all hell broke loose. The fuckin’ rain nearly drowned me as I was takin’ a turn and went down—”
I sat up suddenly from the couch. “Are you okay, Wez?”
“Just a bit of road rash on the elbow. Nothing I can’t handle. I was fucked, though. Soaked all the way through to my ass crack, looking like a dumbass trying to pick my bike up. Then a few minutes later, your man, Skully, pulled up on his bike and helped me lift it. I fucked up the brake linkage and scratched up the side of the tank a little. He told me to come by that shop, Hardcore Cycles, and he’d fix it all up for me.”
“Oh, thank goodness. I’m glad you’re okay, Wez.”
“Yeah; me too. Would’ve sucked balls if I broke some bones. Maybe I’m like a cat with nine lives, huh, pretty girl?” He chuckled.
“Yeah, Wez. You may just be part feline.”
“Well, if I am, I’m a fuckin’ lion!” More chuckling on his end.
“Skully was here for a few minutes, but he left.”
“He’s a good dude, Tanya. I know some of my Chaos brothers don’t like him much, but he’s good with me. Let him know I’ll hook him up sometime if he wants some new ink done.”
I rode back to my shithole motel in the rain. I wasn’t sure how I kept my grip on the handlebars and my throttle open since my whole body was numb. Tanya just got an earful. All of it—my shitty childhood, my shitty life. I felt the familiar painful feeling of being pushed away and not wanted. Alone again. Maybe I was better off being a Hound than being alone.
Tanya hadn’t texted or called since I left her apartment. I told Mandi to meet me at the CrowBar two nights later. I got off work and rode to the bar, thanking mother nature for keeping the heavy clouds and rain at bay. Mandi was already there when
I kicked my stand down and came in to sit next to her at the bar. The purple bruise under her left eye was a shade lighter than it was when I saw her the other day. She flipped her hair, turning to look at me. She always played that hair-flip routine with other dudes, but it didn’t work on me.
“Hi, Skully. How’s it hanging? I hope it's heavy…” she purred at me and giggled.
“Cut the crap, Mandi. I’m not here to hook up. I’m here to talk about the reason you came to see me at work the other day.”
She turned back to her drink, twirling the little straw in her glass. “Oh, yeah. You’re banging Tanya. She looked pissed.”
“I’m not here to talk about Tanya either. Don’t waste my time. You still want out?” I lit a smoke as a bartender served me a glass of bourbon, neat.
“Yes, I do. The Hounds are hardcore, Skully.”
“Yes, they are. But you knew that already. That was your choice. I made that choice to go in too. Patched in. And I made that choice to get out.”
Mandi closed her eyes as her mouth turned into a frown and she squealed out a cry. I exhaled a drag of my smoke and reluctantly put my arm around her shoulders. She leaned into me, sobbing. “I did an awful thing, telling Sid so many things about Sam and Ratchet. But I was jealous. I was pissed.”
Then it hit me. That’s how Rusty got to Tanya that night. I leaned away. “And you told Rusty some things, too, didn’t you? Things about Tanya?”
She wiped her runny nose and mascara on her bar napkin. She touched her lips with her fingers, with the look of guilt in her eyes. Guilt only because I figured it all out. I swallowed the last of my bourbon, slamming the glass back on the bar, and turned back to her. “You know what that motherfucker did to her? Fuck, Mandi!” I started to sweat. My muscles tensed up as I clenched my jaw so hard it hurt.
“I’m sorry, Skully. I didn’t know what Rusty was going to do.”
“From now on, just keep your mouth shut. You’ve already done enough fucked up damage to the Chaos Kings.”
Mandi started up again with the crying, wiping her snotty nose on her wrist. I threw some cash on the bar and was off the stool.
She grabbed my bicep. “But wait, Skully!”
I rolled my eyes and turn back to her. “What? We’re done here. Being in that club is different to both of us. I was a club member, and it’s not easy to get out of it alive. You’re not in it as bad as Sam was. She needed Chaos to get her out. But you, you’re better off. Just stay away from the Hounds. Hang with a different crowd.”
“You think the Chaos Kings would be good with me if I made some apologies? Do you think they’d let me come back around?”
“I doubt you’ll be welcomed back to Chaos. But an apology is a good start to make it right with them.” She let go of my arm, and I walked out of the CrowBar, leaving her at the bar to fend for herself.
Another week went by, and I missed Tanya so much it hurt, like a dull physical pain throughout my body. I missed her face, her voice, her soft body. My chest was heavy, and I didn’t have much of an appetite. The only thing that kept me in motion was the flow of bikes that needed work during the hot steamy summer month.
Wez pulled in on his custom Harley Softail—a very nice-looking ride, with a flat black tank and fenders. The high ape-hanger bars were black, along with the motor and pipes. It sported a springer front end, with whitewall tires and red wheels. The word HARDCORE was painted in bold white letters on both sides of the tank.
He kicked the stand down, climbed off, and offered me his hand. “Hey, man. That was a better ride than last week, that’s for fuckin’ sure.”
I shook his hand. “Hey, Wez. Yeah, another hot-as-fuck day to ride, though, but better than rain. Are you okay with leaving your bike here for a few days? We can get your tank all spiffed up again and fix that brake linkage for you.”
“Yeah. I got a cage I can drive to the tat shop in, so I’m good. I really appreciate this, Skully.”
“No problem.” I lit a smoke, needing a quick break and to shoot the shit with someone.
“How’s it going with you and my pretty girl, Tanya? She is a bossy one, ain't she?” He chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“You can say that again. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. We haven’t talked since I stopped by her place that night after I helped you out getting your bike up off the road.”
Wez scratched his stubbled jaw. His mohawk was growing out, showing his natural light brown hair color. “Huh. Well. When she wants some more of you, she’s got your number.”
That’s what I was hoping for every minute of the day. I exhaled a drag. “Hey, Wez. Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, man. What’s up?”
“You know I’m out of the club, that I’m not a Hound anymore.”
“Yeah. And you made peace with Chaos. But I can’t say that all my brothers care too much for you.”
“I’m trying to clean up my act. I just landed this legit job here at Hardcore Cycles. But I’m living in a shitty motel in the next county over. I’m trying to rid myself of the bad stain the Hounds left on me. I got some cash saved up. Was wondering if you had any brothers or friends looking for a roommate?”
“Hmm…No.” He started rubbing his chin again, staring off.
“Okay. Thanks, Wez. Never hurts to ask, I guess. “
“I tell you what. I’ll talk with my brothers. Maybe you could bunk at the clubhouse for a while till you find somewhere to shack up that’s better than that motel. You could help out around the place, pay rent to our Treasurer, Shrek.”
The weight on my shoulders felt a little bit lighter than it did in the past week. “I owe you, Wez.”
“No problem, man. You helped me out the other night. Not many people in this town would stop to help a biker, especially one who looks like a crazy motherfucker who just walked off the set of a Mad Max movie!”
Two weeks went by, and no word from Skully. I started a text message several times, but I kept erasing it. I wanted to apologize to him for being such a bitch. And my stomach did flips when my phone buzzed with every incoming text, but they were either from Sam, Honey, or other friends. Sam left me a text that Saturday afternoon a few hours before my shift at the salon was over.
“Hey, sweetie—party tonight at clubhouse—u have 2 be there.”
I got home from work, primped, and arrived at the clubhouse for another Saturday night of crazy fun with my tribe. Sam was there, with Ratchet towering over her, his forefinger in the belt loop of her jeans. He was the possessive caveman when it came to his woman. She welcomed me with a warm hug. We squealed and giggled. Her coworker, Kat, was standing next to her. She was all decked out in a long flowy summer dress with flowers and flip flops. She wore black-rimmed glasses; her hair dyed a bold purple. She was as cute as a button, just like Sam.
I pulled her into a warm embrace, squeezing her. “Is this your first time at a Chaos party, Kat?”
“Yes, my first time.” She blushed, but her eyes were focused on something behind me. I turned to see Magnet over at the pool tables, playing cutthroat with two hot blondes, of course.
“Magnet has that effect on women. But not me. I grew up with that boy. It’s best you just admire him from a distance, Kat. He’s a player.”
She tore her eyes away from Magnet and back at me, with her jaw open, and her eyes as big as saucers. “What’s his name?”
“Noah. But we all call him Magnet. Like chick magnet?”
“That name suits him well,” she replied with a slight blush to her cheeks.
I cracked up. I should have known Magnet would have that effect on her too. When I turned back to look at him, I caught sight of Skully as he stood next to Wez, smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer. Then his eyes met mine, and he nodded as his mouth lifted in a smile. His eyes went back to Wez as he conversed with him.
“Who invited Skully?” I hoped someone would answer quickly.
“He’s shacking up here for a while. Chaos had a
meet with him a week ago. The Prez and VP are good with it. He’s helping out here like Sam did once. And he’s paying rent to Shrek,” Ratchet informed me.
I walked behind the bar and grabbed myself a beer from the stocked fridge. I twisted off the cap, and the first swallow was nice and cold. My stomach did one of those same flips every time I caught sight of Skully, but I didn’t know whether to approach him first or wait for him to come to me. I shook my head and drank another mouthful, feeling the refreshment of the cold brew going down and goading me on.
You can do this, Tanya. I thought to myself. You want to apologize to him for being shitty, then go over there and do it…Here goes.
So, I did just that, and Skully watched me as I approached. Wez’s back was facing me, and he turned to see what Skully was smiling at.
Then Wez reached out and wrapped his big burly arms around me. He kissed my cheek. “How’s my pretty girl today?”
I wrapped my arms around his waist. “I’m good, Wez. I need a drink, and I need some fun tonight. It’s so good to be here with my tribe. Hi, Skully. Good to see you too.” I smiled at him as Wez embraced me.
He smiled, tipping his bottle at me. “Good to see you too, Tanya. Pretty in pink. As always.”
Wez coughed, clearing his throat. “I’m empty and need to drain the dragon.” He walked away, leaving us alone, surrounded by the sound of pool balls whacking into each other and loud music blaring from the jukebox.
I swallowed the lump in my throat before I could speak again. “I want to apologize for last week, Owen. I was a total shit. Will you forgive me?”
He stepped toward me. “No apology is needed. I want to thank you for listening. It was too much, and I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you. And I’m sorry if I pissed you off about Mandi.”
“No need. That was just my own insecurity rearing its ugly head. I need to reel that in. My breakup with Matthew did a killing to my self-esteem, which makes me have trust issues when it comes to men.”
Skully dropped his smoke, crushed it with his boot, and slid his hand into his jeans pocket. “That douchebag should be the one with self-esteem and trust issues. Not you. You’re a wonder of a woman, Tanya. His loss. And hopefully, my gain…”
Chaos Kings MC Page 18