by Amy Cross
***
Once dinner was over, and while Edgar dealt with a few final matters in the kitchen, Kate found herself standing in the study, looking out at the moonlit island. She had considered going up to her room in order to change into something a little more comfortable, and she felt bad that Edgar had gone to so much trouble while she'd kept the same clothes she'd been wearing all afternoon, but at the same time she didn't want to make it seem as if their dinner encounter was an actual date.
“The view is beautiful,” she said as she heard Edgar entering the room. “You must be able to see the entire island from the various windows.”
“Come,” he replied, “let me show you something even more stunning.”
Leading her through the house, he stopped in the hallway and took Kate's coat from a nearby hook, before slipping it over her shoulders. They made their way up the stairs, past the painting of his grandfather, and finally he unlocked a door next to his bedroom. They headed up a spiral staircase, until finally they emerged through another door onto the roof of the house. Stopping by a railing, Kate looked around and realized that this time she actually could see the whole of Thaxos all at once, including the port town to the south and the stones far off to the north.
Momentarily lost for words, all Kate could do was stare at the scene. With just a few lights sparkling in the town, most of the island was dark and the blanket of stars above was brighter and more beautiful than anything she had ever seen before.
“It's hard to believe this view is real,” she whispered to herself before turning to Edgar. “I had no idea it was possible to come up here.”
“I've never brought anyone to the roof before,” he told her. “I always reserved it for my own pleasure. It's a place of great sanctuary for me.”
“You didn't bring Didi up?”
“I like to be alone up here,” he continued. “With such a beautiful view, I find that I can calm my mind simply by spending a few minutes looking out across the island. The last thing I ever want is to risk having someone come up and interrupt me. I'm sure you can imagine how irritating it would have been to have had her screeching voice disturbing me every time I try to take a moment of quiet contemplation.”
“I totally understand,” she told him. “Don't worry, I'll never come barging up.”
“On the contrary,” he continued, “I would be happy for you to make use of this space whenever you wish. I feel it would benefit you.”
Unable to hide a faint smile, Kate made her way over to the other side of the room. She still found it hard to believe that the view was real, since it seemed so perfect, so timeless, it might as well have been pulled straight from a fairytale.
“The people of Thaxos hate me,” Edgar said suddenly, standing directly behind her.
She turned to him, shocked by the directness of his claim.
“I have tried to change the situation,” he continued, “but nothing works. Their hatred is not something that can ever be wiped away. Some situations, like some people, simply cannot be altered. On the few occasions when I go into town, I see the fear in their eyes, and I see the way they try to avoid me. It's as if they think I'm going to drag them all screaming into my torture chamber.”
“I don't think they hate you, Edgar. Tit's just that they... You've got to admit, there's a lot of history that needs to be forgotten, but it can be done. I'm sure you're making progress. The garden party was going okay at first, and the best thing is probably to just let a little time pass, so that people can see that life can continue as normal even while you're here. They'll come around eventually.”
“You're an optimist.”
“I'm a realist.”
“Some things can't change,” he replied. “I learned that long ago. Some people just... I have come to believe that some people are born with good souls, and some are born with bad souls, and those core attributes can never, ever be altered. A good man cannot bring himself to commit acts of cruelty, and a bad man cannot banish evil from his heart. These things are set in stone from birth, and anyone who tries to change his own soul will merely end up in the grip of madness. There is no escape.”
“And do you see yourself as a good man?” she asked, even though she felt she already knew the answer.
“I do not,” he replied, turning to her. “And what about you, Kate? Do you believe yourself to have a good soul?”
“I... I haven't really thought about it. I just try to muddle through and not hurt anyone.”
“Then I think you have answered my question,” he said with a faint smile.
“I think you're wrong,” she continued. “I don't think you're a bad man at all. Sure, you've made mistakes, but you're not...” She paused as she tried to think of an example. “Your grandfather, for example. I've heard and read enough stories to have a pretty good idea of what he did while he was alive. I mean, I can't believe that you'd ever be capable of such cruelty.”
“You can't?”
“He tortured people. I've seen the machines down in your basement, and the thought of anyone being able to do that to another person... I can't even begin to imagine what kind of damaged mind would be responsible for such horrors.”
“Perhaps he had a good reason.”
“Is there ever a good reason?” she asked. “Seriously, Edgar, you mustn't be so hard on yourself. The actions of your grandfather have made life harder for you, but you can still find a role for yourself on Thaxos, and you're certainly not a bad man, any more than anyone else is a good man. Everyone has shades of gray, parts of their souls that are good and parts that are bad. It's not a simple black and white divide.”
“I hope you're right.”
“You can't hide away up here forever,” she told him.
“Everyone hides from something,” he replied. “What about you? I can sense the fear in your heart.”
“I'm not scared of anything.”
“And yet you recoil from human touch,” he continued, smiling a little as he saw the faintest hint of concern in her eyes. “I'm an observant man, and I've noticed certain... habits that you have. At the risk of sounding like some kind of amateur psychologist, I would hazard a guess that at some point in the past you've been hurt, probably by a former lover, and now you refuse to allow anyone close.” He paused for a moment. “When two bodies touch each other, they share a little of their heat. Forgive me for saying this, but I feel it has been a very long time since you last felt someone else's heat. I dare say you might even have forgotten the sensation entirely.”
“I chose to focus on my career,” she replied, forcing an unconvincing smile. “It was just a decision I made.”
“At the expense of everything else?”
“I guess that's one way of looking at it.”
“And what about children? Do you -”
“You're not very good at this, are you?” she replied before she could stop herself. “I mean... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.”
“No, you're right. I am bad at such things. I tend to simply say what I see. However, this weakness is also a strength. I see things in others, things they sometimes don't even see themselves. In the business world, that can be very useful. Many people respect honesty, even if it makes them a little uncomfortable at the same time.”
“And that's what this is?” she asked. “A business deal?” She paused for a moment, fighting the urge to turn and run. “One day I made a decision,” she continued finally, her voice betraying the emotion she was trying to suppress. “I literally sat down at the kitchen table in my old apartment and I stared into space and decided, after some serious thought, that I'm just... I'm not the kind of person who can share my life. It all goes wrong, it gets messy, so I decided very deliberately and very calmly to forget about human companionship, forget about a so-called normal life, and just focus on my work. I feel I can contribute more to the world that way.”
“But if -”
“I can't love someone enough,” she added. “There, I said it. I was wi
th a wonderful man once, but as great as he was, I just don't seem to be able to love anyone, not the way they need to be loved, not properly. And people know that, don't they? They know if you don't really love them. It'd be the same with a child. I see other women with their babies and they have pure love in their eyes, but I know I could never be like that. The child would pick up on that and resent me. I'm not cut out for any of that.”
“You seem very harsh on yourself.”
“I'm just facing the truth. Trust me, all my relationships with men have been disastrous.” She looked down at the glass of wine she was still holding. Her hand was trembling slightly and she felt as if Edgar was peeling back her defensive layers one by one, with very few left to go until he reached her raw middle. “Not everyone can follow the same path,” she added finally. “I learned what I'm good at and what I'm not good at, and there's no point trying to force myself to be something I'm not.”
“And if you -”
“What about James Nixon?” she asked, deliberately trying to unsettle him and distract him from asking any more questions about her past.
“I'm sorry?”
“You said you'd tell me what really happened, so why not tell me now?”
“I cannot tell you,” he replied cautiously, as if he was uncomfortable with the conversation's sudden turn. “It's something I would have to show you. Before the night is over, you'll understand. You must trust me when I tell you that I have no desire to hide the truth from you.”
“So why not just lay it out?” she asked. “It's almost as if you're deliberately making the whole thing seem mysterious.”
“I can assure you that you're wrong on that count.”
“So let's hear it,” she continued. “What did you do with him?”
“I see,” he replied after a moment. “I made you feel awkward, and now you're trying to do the same to me. Congratulations, Ms. Langley. It worked.”
“You already told me you didn't kill him.”
“That's right.”
“And you were telling the truth? You really didn't?”
“You have my word.”
“So where is he?”
“He's right here on Thaxos.”
“But...” She paused, and she could tell from the look in his eyes that he was telling the absolute truth, even if she couldn't quite connect the dots. “Then where exactly?”
“Right here at my house.”
“What... Held prisoner in one of the rooms?”
“No. As I said, I cannot explain it in mere words. However, I can assure you that before this night is over, you will know exactly where James Nixon is being held, and it is my hope that you will even understand why. I'm not a monster, Kate. I have my reasons for everything I do.” He turned and looked out into the darkness for a moment. “There. Did you feel it? Something is coming this way.”
“I didn't feel anything,” she replied, following his gaze. “What exactly do you think is out there?”
“Someone who...” Again he paused, as if he was still trying to make sense of whatever he had sensed. “We have a little time before it gets here. I feel there might be some other force, though, something that is directing matters. When one focuses so much on one enemy, one sometimes loses sight of another, and that's a dangerous mistake to make. I fear that something dark has grown close to home, something that seeks to threaten me.”
“Edgar -”
“We should go inside,” he replied, turning to her. “I would prefer not to be out in the open on such a night. There are dangers on the island, and although I can deal with them, I refuse to put you in the line of fire.”
“I should probably go to bed,” she told him, checking her watch and seeing that it was almost eleven. “It's getting late and I have so much to do.”
“We still need to -”
“Good night, Edgar.”
“But -”
“Good night,” she said again, more firmly this time, determined to get to her room before she allowed herself to do something she might regret later. “I need to be up early. The job you hired me for... At this rate, I'm never going to get it finished.” With that, she made her way past him, heading for the door that led back down into the house. With every step, she felt compelled to turn back and give herself to him. She'd been tempted like this before, with other men, but the sensation had never been so strong. She'd managed to resist Fernando shortly after arriving on the island, but Edgar's potency was a thousand times stronger. It was almost as if he was drawing her closer with every breath.
“I don't want you to finish,” he replied.
She turned to him. “What -”
Before she could say any more, he stepped toward her, grabbed her by the shoulders and held her tight as he leaned closer and kissed her. Her initial instinct was to pull away, to resist, but after only a fraction of a second she felt herself giving in to his desire, allowing the kiss to continue. As he gently pushed her back against the wall, Kate allowed her mouth to open more fully, their tongues meeting in a kiss that was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. Every nerve-ending in her body was tingling as she felt two entirely separate voices in her mind: one telling her to run, but another, newer voice telling her to let this happen. Both voices, however, were hers and hers alone, and one of them was stronger and louder and more convincing than the other.
Finally, Edgar pulled back for a moment.
“I have wanted to do that,” he said calmly, staring deep into her eyes, “since...” He paused. “Trust me, it has been a very long time.”
She stared back at him, stunned by the fact that his kiss had felt exactly the same as in her dreams.
“I waited for you,” he continued. “You have no idea how long I waited. All those years, knowing you would arrive eventually but not being able to anticipate the exact moment. Knowing what was coming, but not when. And now I see what has to happen, it's...” He paused, as if he was starting to understand the situation. “In a way, it's quite beautiful. Love and loss, hand in hand...”
“Edgar -”
“I knew you were coming,” he added, as if he finally felt able to tell her the truth. “I knew it had to happen, I just didn't know how or when. I was able to put together a few of the pieces, based on things you told me once and on my understanding of the stones, so finally I felt that the time was approaching, that I had to come back to Thaxos so that I could greet you personally. And then we arrived on the same day, and I realized that it was always meant to be like this. After everything you told me, I finally began to understand what you had been through.”
“Things I told you?” she asked.
“It's going to be so hard to explain,” he continued, “and... I don't think I can tell you. Not yet. The very first time I ever met you, Kate, there was such confusion and fear in your eyes. You had no idea what was happening. I cannot change that, I cannot change one thing about anything that happened. It must simply play out as originally intended, and I must trust that when all is settled, we will...”
She waited for him to continue.
“Edgar,” she said finally, “I have no idea what you're talking about, but the first time we met was in the courtyard outside Ephram's shop and I... Don't you remember? You'd come into town and I met you out there briefly? We talked, but that was it. It was just a normal meeting and a normal conversation.”
“No,” he said after a moment, “that was not the first time we met.”
“But -”
“You'll understand soon enough,” he replied, before leaning closer and kissing her again.
Although she wanted to ask him what he meant, she couldn't resist the touch of his lips or the light, almost imperceptible pressure of his body against hers. She reached her arms around him, allowing herself to finally surrender fully to his touch, and the strangest thing was that she truly felt as if this wasn't the first time they had been together: for one thing, she remembered the way he moved his tongue, as if all her dreams had been real; for anoth
er, the way he kissed her felt more like a long-lost lover than someone exploring her body for the first time.
As he gently pressed his body against hers, she responded in kind: his soft force sent a shiver through her, and after a moment she had to pull back from the kiss and let out a faint gasp. He kissed the side of her neck, making his way down to her collar, and she felt his hands exploring her waist. Finally he reached up and began to unbutton her shirt, and although she had long ago decided that she would never allow another man into her body, she felt that there was no way she could resist. All her decisions, all the lonely promises she had made to herself over the years... They had all been made before she knew that a man like Edgar Le Compte could ever exist.
Pulling her shirt away, Edgar reached around and unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor before leaning down to kiss her breasts in the moonlight. She looked down at him, watching as he gently kissed her erect left nipple, and at that moment she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was ready for him, ready to let a man – no, not a man, only this man – tear through her defenses and enter her body. She could feel her soul preparing for his entry, and as she reached down and began to remove his jacket she felt herself being gently lowered to the floor. With the moon so large and bright in the sky, she settled on her back and unbuttoned Edgar's shirt, finally pulling it away to reveal his bare, firm chest. Reaching down, she began to remove his trousers, her fingers fumbling with tense anticipation.
Everything felt different this time, as if her dreams had suddenly exploded into reality.
“This is your choice, isn't it?” he whispered as he continued to strip her naked. Finally he slipped her underwear down her legs and over her feet before removing the last of his clothes. “Sometimes I don't even know when I'm doing it. Are you sure there's not a hint of coercion in your mind?”
She shook her head, while looking down to see the dark silhouette of his large, hard penis between his legs, poised just a few inches from the wet, welcoming entrance to her own body. She tilted her hips a little, as if to invite him by dipping his tip into her slit.
“And you only hear your own voice in your mind?” he continued, with his penis poised to enter her body. “I'm not accidentally -”
“Shut up,” she whispered, “and take me.”
With that, he leaned down and kissed her again, and seconds later she felt him slipping into her body, filling her as he went deeper and deeper. A shiver passed through her soul as, for the first time in so many years, she opened her legs as wide as possible in order to let a man inside. Reaching her hands around Edgar's firm, toned body, she ran her fingers over his skin until she felt the deep scar on his shoulder. At the same time, she felt him sliding himself out of her a little and then back inside, and she ran her fingers down his back until her hands were clutching his tight buttocks. She gasped as she felt the rhythmic power of his thrusts, almost as if his entire body was some kind of powerful machine.
“Are you scared?” she whispered as he kissed the side of her neck.
“Of what?”
“I don't know.” She gasped as he began to slowly, rhythmically make love to her. “I just... Why now? Why did you choose this moment to do this to me?”
“I didn't,” he replied. “You chose it. I merely followed your lead, but you chose it long before we came onto the roof. I could see it in your eyes, and hear it in your voice. I can hear your heartbeat, Kate. All the time, every day, even when you're not close. It rings out across the island. It's everything.”
Looking up at the moon, she realized he was right. She hadn't known it at the time, but all evening she had been imperceptibly creeping closer and closer to this moment, unknotting the thousands of barriers that she had been putting together for so long. She wanted to ask him a million questions, to understand everything about him, but the growing sense of ecstasy in her body was interrupting her thoughts, almost as if her intellectual side was being drowned out by the physical pleasure she was feeling. For someone who had always prioritized her mind over her body, the experience was exhilarating and fresh.
“I want...” She paused, feeling him thrusting inside her body with slow, confident forcefulness, already bringing her to the edge of pleasure. Her thoughts were slipping away. “I want...”
Feeling a surge in her body, she gasped as she arched her back, pressing her chest against his. He leaned down and kissed her neck again, while running one hand along the side of her waist and up to the mound of her left breast. She could feel him getting faster now, making love to her with more urgency, and every thrust seemed to be building anticipation. He leaned down and kissed her passionately, locking her in an embrace that became stronger and stronger until finally the energy was ready to overcome her body. For almost a decade now she had been slowly tightening and tightening, twisting herself into a knot so tight she had begun to felt it could never be undone.
And now, finally, it was happening.
As the first wave of ecstasy exploded, Kate felt her body being completely consumed by a sense of overpowering passion. She held her breath until finally she let out a whimper of pure pleasure as she felt not only her own orgasm, but also the sensation of Edgar filling her deep inside. Her mind fell away and all she could do was submerge herself completely in her own ecstasy, as wave after wave of pleasure washed through her body, blinding her thoughts completely and causing her to cry out.
VIII
“Did you hear something?” Tom Ward asked, stopping in the darkness and staring at the looming silhouette of the mansion.
“What's wrong?” Nathaniel replied. “Scared?”
“I'm not scared,” Tom told him, clearly annoyed by the suggestion. “I just wanna be careful. This is Edgar Le Compte we're dealing with, remember? For all we know, the guy might be hanging upside down from a tree, waiting to swoop down and rip off our heads.”
“You don't seriously believe that crap, do you?”
“I've heard stories about this place. Stuff that used to happen up here years ago...”
“Will you two little girls just shut up?” Cavaleri muttered, marching past them and making her way through the tall grass to the west of the house. “If you're gonna stop and debate every little sound you hear, we're going to spend all night out here.”
“What if he's got, like, infra-red systems to protect the house?” Tom called after her. “The guy's loaded, after all!”
“He's also old-fashioned,” she replied. “Trust me, I've got some inside information. Edgar Le Compte has nothing more complex than a few rusty old locks on his doors.”
Reaching the edge of the grass, she made her way onto the gravel that marked the boundary of the mansion itself. As far as she could tell, all the lights in the house were switched off and the place seemed completely peaceful, but she knew there was still a chance that Le Compte or one of the others might be awake. Hurrying around the side of the building, she finally reached the door that was once used for servants. Grabbing the handle, she turned it and found that – just as Doctor Young had promised – if had been left unopened, although the hinges creaked a little, almost as if they were trying to warn her against going any further.
“We're in,” she whispered, turning back to her two co-conspirators. “You know what to do next, don't you?”
“Mother of God,” Tom Ward replied, looking up at the house. “What I wouldn't give to live in a place like this, huh? The guy must be loaded. What is he, like, some kinda royalty?”
“So it's okay if we help ourselves to a few extra items, isn't it?” Nathaniel asked Cavaleri. “I mean, once the guy's dead, he's not gonna miss anything. A man like Edgar Le Compte must have some money stashed somewhere, and he's probably got plenty of antiques.” He turned to Tom. “This is it, mate. With this job, we can both retire.”
“Hawaii, here I come,” Tom replied with a broad, salacious grin.
“What you do after the job's done,” Cavaleri said firmly, “is up to you. I already told you, once we're
done here I never want to see either of you again. We go our separate ways and we never get in touch with each other. No reunions, no nostalgia. This is a one-night deal.”
“What's wrong?” Nathaniel asked. “Are you ashamed that you had to ask for our help?”
“Disgusted, more like,” she replied. “Still, I figure you need to use the right tool for the right job, and you two are certainly a pair of tools.”
“Don't worry,” Tom told her, “I'm gonna be leaving this crappy little island so fast, you won't see me for dust. I've always wanted to get the hell away from Thaxos.”
“Me too,” Nathaniel added, “and I sure won't be coming back. With the money from this little adventure, I'm planning to sail off into the sunset and find myself a nice little private paradise.”
“Suits me,” Cavaleri replied, pulling the door open and stepping into the darkness.