by Stella Clark
“I’d eaten earlier,” Becky said, telling herself she wasn’t lying because she’d taken a few bites.
“I’m sure you know that you ought to eat well, especially in your condition,” he said.
Becky’s face heated up.
“Dr. Madden must be very pleased,” he said and continued without waiting for an answer. “Congratulations to the both of you.”
“Thank you,” Becky said and took a sip of her tea. There was no need to tell him the truth.
She waited until he had had his fill of flapjacks before asking him about Karl’s health. She leaned across the table. “How is he, doctor? Will he get better?” Becky asked, unable to control the tinge of hysteria in her voice.
“He’s on the road to healing,” he said. “There is very little phlegm left in his body which means he’s on the road to recovery.”
She covered her mouth with her hand to stem the sob in her throat. Karl would be fine. She would not be homeless or left to go back home to be a burden to her brother’s family.
“Thank you,” she said with feeling.
“You’re welcome,” he said gently. “Now I had better get to work. I’m sure there will be many patients today as soon as we put up the open sign.”
“Oh yes,” Becky said, jolted into action as she remembered all the other people who were just as worried as she had been about their loved ones. “I usually help Dr. Madden in the clinic in between my chores. If you like, we can continue with that arrangement, but I’m not a nurse.”
He beamed. “It will be nice to have a nurse of sorts. My fiancée helps me with the clinic as well. I hope we can continue with the same arrangement when we get married in a few weeks’ time.”
With Karl on the road to recovery and a doctor to treat the patients, Becky’s world righted itself again.
Chapter Eleven
Karl’s jaw pained from clenching it. He heaved himself off the bed just as he heard their voices. The pain in his jaw increased. Deciding that he could not bear to face them just yet, he quickly returned to bed and shut his eyes.
“He’s asleep,” Becky said, and Karl detected a pleased tone.
He fought the urge to lash out. To tell them they were welcome to each other if they wanted. Except, it wasn’t really true. He hated himself for the weakness he had for Becky. He wanted her to remain his wife. The hurt he felt now was nothing compared to when Anne Shields had gone off with Dr. Brady.
He had thought it had hurt then. Now, the pain filled every pore of his being. Becky was his wife! What was the matter with them? Had they no respect for a lawful marriage?
“I’m sure he’ll be up today; the cough has more or less gone. He just needs to build up his strength,” Dr. Thornton said.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” Becky said in a sweet voice she never used with him.
A burning sensation filled his chest. Bitterness swirled in his mouth. How was it possible for the same thing to happen again? Unlike the last time, when it had caught him unaware, this time he had seen it develop. They came to see him twice a day, in the morning and the evening, although Becky came many more times during the day.
Women carried a secret charm, and he could see why Dr. Thornton had become enamored with her. She spoke to him as though he was the only person that mattered.
What was their plan with Becky being a married woman and heavily pregnant? They couldn’t just take off as Anne Shields and Dr. Michael Brady had done!
“You’re welcome. Dr. Madden is a strong man; he’ll be back on his feet before too long,” Dr. Thornton said.
“I hope you’re not thinking of leaving us just yet?” Becky said in that sickly-sweet voice.
Karl felt on the verge of choking on his own jealousy.
“No, I’ll stay as long as I’m needed,” the doctor said, sounding too pleased under the circumstances.
In that moment, Karl decided he would do everything he needed to do to get his strength back. The sooner Dr. Thornton was gone, the better for all of them. Becky would be left behind to heal her broken heart alone. As for himself, he had learned a valuable lesson.
One should never let down their guard. He had come so close to developing feelings for Becky. More fool he was for thinking she was different. The only difference was that they were married, and she was tied to him whether she liked it or not.
He waited until they had left and then got up, his body weak after being wracked by disease. He had been a fool twice, but that was the last time it was going to happen. Using all his strength, Karl pushed himself to his feet and made himself walk the width of the room.
***
After three days of walking around the house, Karl felt ready to get back to work and, most importantly, for Dr. Thornton to leave.
The moment he had been waiting for soon came. He and Becky walked Dr. Thornton down the stairs. Still, Karl’s heart would not thaw, and he saw the doctor’s puzzled look after his curt responses.
“If you need me another time, I’ll be happy to come back,” Dr. Thornton said, casting a glance at Becky as the three of them stood by the front door.
Karl had no doubt that he would come back, especially with Becky here. Then a voice inside his head reminded him that Dr. Thornton had come to help, and he hadn’t known Becky then. He pushed away the train of thought that would redeem his old friend.
“Thank you,” Karl said stiffly.
They both glanced at him, and he looked away, guilt flooding him in spite of his anger. Dr. Thornton had helped him in his time of need. Why couldn’t he let go of his anger and express his gratitude properly?
“Well, I’ll be off then,” Dr. Thornton said.
Becky waited until the door shut before she turned beautiful blazing wheat-colored eyes at him. “Why were you so cold to Dr. Thornton when he has done nothing but give us his time and generosity?”
Heat flushed through his body. How dare she question his treatment of a man who had an interest in her? What did she expect? Or perhaps she thought he hadn’t noticed what had been going on under his nose the whole time? He’d have to be a fool, or blind, not to have seen the attraction between his friend and his wife.
Pain sliced across his chest. “I’ll be in the surgery,” he said curtly and yanked open the front door.
A gust of wind almost knocked him off his feet, but he quickly clutched the door frame for support.
“Are you all right?” Becky called behind him.
“Yes, of course,” he said, irritated, and caught her confused look before the door shut.
Her hurt expression followed him all the way to the surgery, and he was glad there were no patients yet. The strong smell of phenol told him that Becky had come in earlier and given the surgery a good cleaning. Guilt flooded him. He should not have snapped at her.
Sure, he was angry and had made the decision not to allow her into his heart. He would treat her like an employee and keep their conversation formal and restricted to business matters. That did not mean that he had to be rude to her.
The doorbell rang minutes later, signaling the arrival of his first patient. With relief, he went to usher them in. His emotions were a very uncomfortable subject for him, and he felt grateful at turning his attention to his patients. That was one area where he felt completely in charge.
Chapter Twelve
“Do you need my help?” Becky asked, poking her head into the examination room.
Karl turned to look at her, and she cringed. These days, he did not look at her, he glared, and she had no idea what she had done wrong.
“No, thank you,” he said, standing by the patient on the examination bed. He looked so remote, like a stranger. It was as if she had dreamed up all those special moments they had shared earlier.
She smiled at him and got a blank look in response. Tears welling in her eyes, she shut the door. Ever since Dr. Thornton had left, Karl had completely changed from the gentleman she had married.
She felt as if the illness had tak
en with it the real Karl. He behaved as if he disliked her, and that disturbed her greatly. She missed the old Karl with whom conversation just flowed and there had never been an end to things to talk about with.
Her heart ached, and when he glared at her, it felt like a fresh rejection each time. Becky knew what her trouble was. She had made the mistake of falling in love with a man who would never love her back. What a fool she was! It didn’t help matters that she felt tired, clumsy, and heavy.
She only had a few more weeks to go before the child was born. What kind of family life was her child coming into, with parents who did not speak to each other? Then another thought crossed her mind. Who would Karl be to the baby since they had never spoken about it?
The patient, an older woman, left the office and Becky stood indecisively, wondering if she ought to speak to Karl. She stood outside the door, wringing her hands, before deciding against it and turning away. Feeling at loose ends, she left the surgery and headed upstairs to their apartment.
As she stepped out into Main Street, a family entering a wagon caught her eye. Snowflakes drifted gently from the sky as their laughter mixed with the sound of gentle wind. The man lifted a young boy up the wagon and then turned to his wife.
Her wrapped a hand around her waist, pulled her to him for a quick embrace, and then planted a kiss on her mouth. Rivulets of yearning raced through Becky as she watched the obvious love between the couple. The man helped his wife up into the wagon and, after looking in to ensure they were comfortable, went to the driver’s seat.
The wagon eased away, leaving Becky feeling as though she had peeked into a life that would never be hers. A longing for what she had just witnessed gripped her until it became a pain in her chest. Tears blinding her, she turned to the door and pushed it open.
Upstairs, after pacing for a few minutes, Becky decided to write letters to her mother and to Mrs. Bell.
Writing to her mother proved to be more difficult than she had thought. After informing her of Simon’s death, her mother had written to offer her condolences, and Becky had not replied. Where to start, as so much had happened since then?
She would start at the beginning, Becky decided. She told her mother how grief-stricken she had been after Simon’s death and how she had had to move into a boarding house in the city. Becky smiled as she wrote about Mrs. Bell, the boarding-house owner, and how kind she had been to her.
Shyness gripped her as she wrote about her pregnancy. It was such an intimate matter to discuss, but she did not want to hide anything. She described the process of becoming a mail-order bride and had to pause for a few seconds as she imagined her mother’s mirth.
Becky had forgotten that about her mother—that she had loved to laugh. She was a small-bodied woman who enjoyed life despite her circumstances. Horror gripped her insides. How could she have neglected to keep in touch with her mother when she had loved her and her brother so much?
With a trembling hand, Becky continued with her letter, describing Wyoming and Main Street. Perhaps one time, her mother would come and visit her. She put down the thought on paper before winding up the letter with expressions of love.
She read what she had written and as she did so, her eyes welled up again. What was the matter with her? The slightest thing overwhelmed her with emotions.
Next, Becky wrote to Mrs. Bell, asking her about the children and whether John and Magdalene had concluded their courtship and gotten married. She missed everyone and made sure to ask after all of them. Karl’s rejection made her see how little she had in her life.
The only way to remedy that was to ensure that she kept up a steady stream of communication with her friends and relatives. When her mother wrote back, Becky would write to her brother, Joshua, as well. When the envelopes were sealed and addressed, she smiled and realized that the earlier turmoil she had had in her heart was gone.
Walking to the window that overlooked the street, Becky admired the snow-covered landscape. She was in love with Karl, and there was nothing she could do to change that. Yes, he sometimes behaved dishonorably, like with Dr. Thornton.
The truth, however, was that he was a good man. He had married her even after discovering that she had deceived him. She bowed her head in shame. What a stupid thing that had been. She was lucky that he had found it in his heart to forgive her.
It would be nice to be loved back, but she had to be content with what she had. Becky mused over how much her life had changed. It was as if her dream of being a nurse had come to be. Her days were full, and she worked alongside Karl which made them even more special.
In a few weeks, she would be a mother, and her child would never want for anything. She felt a smile forming. There was a lot to be grateful for.
Chapter Thirteen
Karl did not understand why his heart ached every time he glanced at Becky. They were in the midst of dinner and had not exchanged a dozen words. He had managed to achieve what he wanted, which was to maintain distance between himself and Becky. Why, then, did he hurt so much?
He took a last bite of his food and sat back to watch Becky as she pushed her food around the plate.
“You’re not hungry?” he asked her.
She shook her head. “No, I’m just tired.”
His medical training told him she was bound to give birth any day and his arms ached to hold and comfort her. “The baby will come soon.”
“I hope so,” she said and offered a wan smile. She pushed back her chair and heaved herself onto her feet. “I’ll clean up and go to bed.”
“No, I’ll do it,” Karl said. “Shall I bring you a mug of tea in your room?”
This time, her smile lit up her face. “Yes, that would be lovely. We can leave the dirty dishes until tomorrow when I can clean them.”
He chuckled. “I’ve washed dishes before.”
“Thank you,” she said and waddled out of the kitchen.
Karl rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and got to work. It took him a little longer to get the kitchen back to the cleanliness level that Becky kept it at. When he was done, he surveyed it and knew he was missing something but hoped that Becky would think he had done a good job.
The kettle sat by the stove, its contents still warm as he poured two cups for the both of them. He left his mug in the parlor and carried Becky’s to her room. He knocked lightly, and her response was a moan. He pushed open the door and hurried in.
She lay on the bed curled into a fetal position and moaning softly.
“Becky?”
She looked up, her face contorted with pain. “I think the babe is coming.”
In that moment, he stopped being a husband and became Becky’s doctor. “I’ll be back in a moment,” Karl said and went for his medical kit.
Hurriedly, he got everything he needed, cleaned his hands, and hurried back to Becky’s room.
“I’m going to examine you now and see the position of the babe,” he said.
She turned on her back, and their eyes met. Fear clouded her eyes, and his heart went out to her. It was a frightening experience for a woman, giving birth for the first time. He patted her arm.
“You’ll be all right,” he said.
Her face relaxed as though she had been waiting for his reassurance. Moments later, chills filled his body on noting that Becky’s baby was a breech child. The babe had not turned, and its feet showed first. Sweat trickled down his face, despite the chill of the evening.
What would he do if he lost Becky?
“Can you see the baby?” she asked, her voice filled with hope.
“Yes, the baby is fine,” he said and contemplated telling her the truth. He moved away from the foot of the bed.
“What is it?” Becky asked fearfully, gripping his arm. “I know something is wrong, Karl.”
He covered her hand with his own. “The baby has not turned its body. The feet are showing first.”
She gasped, and he knew she had understood the implications.
“Am I going
to die?” she asked, her eyes wild with fear.
“We’ll have no talk of death here; we’re bringing a new life into the world,” Karl growled.
The wild look left her eyes.
“I can manage the pain,” she said.
“I know you can, but I’ll give you a glass of chloroform to inhale as you need it.”
“Thank you. I know both of us shall be fine with you here,” Becky said and held his gaze.
His heart stumbled in his chest as feelings he could not name overwhelmed him. He would do everything in his power to make it a successful birth. He gave her a last squeeze as a contraction overwhelmed her, and went to prepare what he needed.
Ten minutes later, Karl handed a glass with cotton-soaked chloroform to Becky, which she immediately held to her nose. He nodded with approval; the less pain she endured, the more she would conserve her energy.
The next several hours were the longest that Karl had ever endured. The baby would not bulge through a normal birth and by midnight, he knew he would have to use forceps, something both of them dreaded.
Becky had sniffed the chloroform sparingly to keep her consciousness, but now, he needed her asleep.
“I’ll have to use the forceps now, Becky,” he told her as she smoothed her wet hair away from her face. She looked so tired and weak.
She nodded and tried to smile. She brought the glass to her face and sniffed until she began to drift off. Karl brought his mouth to her forehead and kissed her. Tears formed in his eyes. Please, Lord, let her live. He had wasted so much time, and now, he might not get a chance to live properly with Becky as man and wife.
At that moment, Karl saw how foolish he had been. Flashes of Becky and Dr. Thornton went through his mind. With hindsight that came from the passage of time, Karl realized that his brain, brilliant when it came to medicine, had deceived him.
He was foolish when it came to matters of the heart. Love confused him, and he saw nonexistent things. There had been nothing between Becky and Dr. Thornton. She had not mentioned him once after he had left. That was not the behavior of someone in love.