by Jewel Geffen
Natalie, for her part, was just pleased that she wasn't going to have to go up against Judge Holden Weaver in court again, and hadn't even tried rubbing her win in Blackburn's face. She was just glad it was over.
But now here she was, standing in front of the police station watching Tasha and Jordan embracing on the steps, brother and sister holding one another. Tasha was weeping openly and Jordan's eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“I told you I was gonna get you out, baby, I told you,” he was murmuring in her ear over and over as he stroked her back.
She just sobbed and clung to him.
A gruff voice spoke up from beside her. “Not a bad fucking job, really.”
Natalie glanced over. Tom was leaning against the wall, a coffee cup in one hand and a donut in the other. She couldn't help but smile, shaking her head a little at the police officer. “Thank you, Tom. I do believe that's the first actual compliment you've ever given me.”
“Yeah, well, don't let it go to your head or anything.” He took a big bite of the donut and chewed thoughtfully, then brushed his mustache and chuckled. “Ya know, when you came into my office and said you were going up against the Death-heads, I figured you were gonna wind up buying a one-way ticket to an early grave. Never thought I'd see ya coming out on top of that one.”
“Oh, ye of little faith...”
“Hope you're gonna keep your nose clean from now on, though. Keep playing with fire like this, gonna get fucking burned.”
She shook her head. “Oh no, Tom, I'm done playing detective. Too stressful. Too messy. Back to the boardrooms and corporate meetings for me. Cross my heart.”
“Good,” he muttered.
“Yeah.” But she couldn't help but feel a pang, a sort of emptiness inside. She felt... hollow, somehow. There was a sensation of vague dissatisfaction creeping up in her. Could she really just... go back? After all she'd done and seen and been through, was she really just going to return to how things had been? It seemed impossible to contemplate.
Tom shook his head again. “Heck of a thing, kid, heck of a thing.” Then he drifted off, and she found herself alone, watching her clients embracing down the steps. The corporate CEOs she normally defended didn't usually show much emotion when they won. Nothing cracked those cold masks they wore. She'd never realized how good it could feel, even just getting a deal behind the scenes.
The two of them finally broke their embrace and came up the stairs. Tasha wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Thank you so much for everything you did, Miss Kendall, I don't know how I'm ever gonna repay you, I just... I'm really really grateful.”
“Of course. I was happy I could help right this injustice.” Natalie forced herself to smile, despite the growing sensation of unease building inside her. Jordan wasn't looking at her, he seemed uncomfortable. There was something going on.
“I don't even know what to say. I'm just so glad to be out, you know? I was afraid I wasn't ever gonna be free again...”
“What are you going to do now? Back to nursing school?”
She shook her head. “Nah, we gotta get outta here. Things are gonna be hot, I don't want my Mama getting in trouble if those Death-head bastards come looking for trouble.”
Natalie felt a tightness in her chest. “Oh?”
“Yeah. We got family in Atlanta. And it looks like I'm gonna be able to transfer my credits to a school down there. Gonna sell the house, get a change of scenery.”
Natalie swallowed hard, and she looked at Jordan. “What about, uh... what about you? Are you going as well?”
He still wasn't looking her in the eyes. He nodded slowly. “Yeah. They're going to be coming for me most of all. Now that I know they've got it in for me... I can't put anybody at risk like that. People that I love... I wouldn't want them being targeted.”
Now he did look at her, and the force of it hit her like a blow between the eyes. He loved her. He loved her, and he was leaving. She was losing him... She wanted to gasp, wanted to burst out crying, wanted to sink to her knees on the steps of the police station and scream.
But she didn't do any of those things. She was a professional. She kept her composure.
So, it had come to this, after all. He was leaving. She was losing him. Hadn't she told herself that it would be better to have him in her life for a few weeks than to have never known him? She couldn't regret this.
She held a hand out and she shook Tasha's hand, then Jordan's. That familiar jolt run through her at his touch, but she kept her expression fixed and business-like. “I wish you both the best. I'm glad things worked out.”
Tasha thanked her again, and turned to go.
Natalie tried to keep the tears from her eyes as she shook Jordan's hand. “Do you really have to leave?” she asked, managing through superhuman effort not to break down as she spoke.
He nodded, looking like he wanted to cry himself. “I do, yeah. Staying here... being with you... it would be like putting a target on your back. They're gonna be gunning for me twice as hard now, and if they found out about us... I couldn't do that to you.”
“I appreciate your concern,” she said, her voice trembling.
He gave her hand a squeeze, and then he turned to go, walking away, taking the steps two at a time as he hurried after his departing sister.
Natalie watched them go, and even when they were out of sight she kept watching, hoping she might catch some glimpse of them, that she might see him return.
But he didn't.
Finally, feeling unable to stand any longer, she sank down and sat on the steps, and she wept.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Jordan Bishop left the city within twenty-four hours of his sister's release from prison. It was a whirlwind day, and he didn't have time to do more than send her a quick text or two in between packing.
And then he was gone.
Natalie hardly knew what to do with herself. Her life seemed to have been completely transformed in the proceeding weeks, and now she found it difficult to navigate her way back to the way things had once been.
She returned to the offices of Schiller, Schiller and Mason, but it felt alien to her now. There seemed a yawning gulf between herself and her co-workers that she'd never felt before. It wasn't just her, either, the mood of the other lawyers towards her had shifted noticeably.
One week to the day since Jordan's sudden departure, Jack Schiller walked into her office.
She glanced up, her phone held against her shoulder as she shuffled the papers on her desk. He was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and an expression on his face which she couldn't quite read.
“Uh, I'll call you back Meredith, alright? Thank you.” She hung up the phone and set it gently down. “Jack.”
“Natalie,” he said. She found she couldn't quite read his tone. He came into the office and sat across from her.
For a long moment they just looked at one another. His eyes were cool and his expression cautiously neutral. She looked right back at him, giving him a flat stare. Whatever intimidation she'd once felt from him seemed now evaporated.
He was the one who broke the silence. “What's been going on, Natalie? Let's talk.”
She spread her hands. “How do you mean?”
“Come on now, don't jerk me around. You've been acting out of it for weeks now. Running around with this little case of yours, neglecting everything else. Your numbers are in the toilet, your clients are upset and I, personally, am concerned about your performance.”
“That case is done with,” she said.
He nodded in a conciliatory sort of fashion. “True. And I was pleased with how you resolved it. Made a quick deal, shut it down out of court, kept the firm out of things. Even pulled off a win, somehow. It was well done.”
“Thank you, Jack.”
“What I need to know now,” he said, leaning forward, his fingers steepled, “is if you're back.”
“I didn't go anywhere, Jack.”
He gave her a hard lo
ok. “Yeah,” he said, “you did. Let's not beat around the bush here. You checked out of your duties and responsibilities. I don't know if this was some kind of midlife crisis bull, or if you just got carried away with yourself, but I look for better from my people. I had a lot of faith in you, Natalie, and I want to think that you still have a bright future here with us.”
She put her hands on the desk and nodded slowly. “I see.”
“We can just call this whole thing done with, call it a vacation or a sabbatical or whatever the fuck. But now we need to get back to work, put things on track again. You've been going off, doing your own thing, running around playing at being the hero, fine. What I need to know is this: are we done?”
She looked at him for a long moment, then she nodded. “Yes. Yes, Jack... I think we're done.”
“So, you're ready to get back to work? Magnum Industries is asking-”
She raised a hand, cutting him off sharply. “You misunderstand, Jack.”
His eyes narrowed. “I what?”
“You misunderstood what I mean. We're done. I think my time with Schiller, Schiller and Mason is finished. I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, considering my place in the company. I'm starting to think that maybe this isn't the right fit for me anymore.”
“Excuse me?”
She leaned back in her seat. “I'm just thinking that I need a change. I'm not sure that a future defending the rich and horrible of the world is for me. I just got off the phone with Meredith at the public defender's office when you came in. I'm making a career change.”
Jack sat back, his jaw hanging open. “You can't be serious.”
“I'm afraid so.”
He shook his head. “Natalie, someone with your talents, wasting their time defending scum like that... frankly it's embarrassing. I'm going to forget you said that. Take another week off, get your head on straight, and we'll put all this shit behind us.”
She stood up. “You're not getting it, Jack. I've thought about it all I need to. I've made my decision. I took the job. I guess it's just that I'd rather spend my life defending the 'scum' being crushed by the system then getting rich assholes off the hook for breaking the law when they know full well what they're doing. That sort of thing might not keep you up at night, but I've had my fill of it.”
He just stared, eyes wide and mouth open.
She grinned. “Been nice working with you, Jack. All my best to your Daddy.” She stood up and snapped her briefcase shut. “I'll see you in court.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Natalie was still feeling flush from having told Jack Schiller off to his face when she got home.
She parked in the driveway and sat there for a long moment, gripping the wheel and watching the sunset light up the sky red and gold behind her house. “Okay then,” she said, “you just quit your job, Nat. How's it feel?”
She wouldn't make anywhere near as much money working at the public defender's office, to say the least. But it would be good work. She'd be able to help more people like Tasha Bishop, and after having done it once, she realized now that the feeling she got from it was worth a great deal more than money. They'd have to tighten their belts a bit, but she didn't think they would lose the house. Todd might have to get a job again, but they would cross that bridge when they came to it.
It felt good. She felt free.
Natalie got out of the car and walked inside, and she felt a smile break out across her face. It felt good.
Todd was sitting at the table when she came in, still in his pajamas, his hair messed up and bags under his eyes. “Hey, hon,” he said.
“You doing alright?” she asked.
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Late night.”
She smiled slightly, “You stay up talking to your lady friend? What was her name again?”
He blushed slightly. “Sylvaneth87. But, um... It's Sylvia. Outside of the game, I mean. And yeah, we were talking some. Is that... okay?”
She came around the table and put her arm around his shoulders, then leaned down and planted a gentle kiss on the top of his head. “Yeah, hon. It's okay.”
She felt a strange sort of melancholy. She wasn't sad about their relationship, exactly; it was almost certainly for the best that they get some space from one another. But her life was in transition. The old part of her was falling away, and something new coming into being, something uncertain and a little frightening.
What would her future look like? She had no idea. She didn't know if she would ever meet another man who would make her feel the way Jordan had. She wasn't sure such a man existed. Something had ended, and she was never going to be able to go back. She didn't want to go back; it was as if she'd stepped out of a small dark house and into the dazzling sunshine. But it was a frightening thing, to be outside, and not to know where you were going to go.
And so she was melancholy.
“I made dinner,” Todd offered. “But it, uh... it didn't come out right-”
“I thought I smelled something burning.”
“-so I ordered Thai food instead. That okay?”
She blinked. “You want to eat together?”
He shrugged awkwardly. “Well, I mean, nothing's going on with the guild tonight and... I thought maybe I'd take the evening off. Maybe... maybe watch a movie together, or something?”
Natalie smiled. “That sounds nice, Todd. Thank you, I'd like that.”
And so she ate Thai food with her husband and watched a sappy romantic movie. He fell asleep halfway through, leaning on her arm and snoring softly. She let the credits roll, all the names streaming by in black and white, and only when they'd finished did she carefully extract herself from his embrace.
She was wearing her nightgown and fluffy slippers, and feeling a bit self-indulgent. She padded silently through the house, which had darkened significantly since they'd started the movie. Night had fallen outside. She got a pint of peach ice cream out of the freezer and sat on the edge of the kitchen counter spooning it right out of the container.
Clack. Clack. Clack.
She froze, the spoon lifted halfway towards her mouth. A sound had traveled through the house, silent, perhaps unintentionally made. A rapping noise from near the front door. Her eyes shot to the windows. She couldn't see anything; it was pitch black outside.
She set the ice cream down, her heart beating fast, and she slid the cell phone out of her purse and dropped it in the pocket of her robe.
Clack.
Was it someone knocking on the door – but who could it be, in the middle of the night like this? – or was somebody trying to break in? The Death-heads, she thought. Somehow they had found her. They'd found her, and they had decided to settle things with her.
Her throat was tight and her mouth dry as she went slowly towards the door. She was overreacting, she told herself. It was probably just an opossum or a skunk rattling around the garbage cans, that was all. There was nothing to be afraid of.
She pulled the phone out of her pocket as she approached the door and keyed in 911, but didn't hit the call button yet. Her thumb hovered over the button as she stood up on the tips of her toes and looked through the peephole.
She saw a dark shape, impossible to identify in the night. A man, a large man, tall with broad shoulders, was standing right in front of the door. Her hands shook. “Who's there!” she shouted, shocking herself by speaking.
Why had she opened her stupid mouth? She should be hiding and calling the police!
A deep voice answered, muffled by the door, but clear and recognizable all the same. “Natalie. It's me.”
She felt her heart skip a beat, a sudden sensation welling up inside her. Jordan.
She pulled the door cautiously open, and looked out at him. He stood there, leaning against the door frame with a slight grin on his face. “Hey, babe,” he said.
“What... I mean... what are you doing here? I- I thought...?”
He shrugged a little. “Couldn't stay away, you know? After I
got Tasha and Mama settled, I just... I couldn't get comfortable. It was like there was something pulling at me, something that wouldn't let me be. I felt like something was missing.”
“Missing?” she said, her voice trembling.
“Yeah,” he said and he looked at her, his deep brown eyes finding hers and catching her gaze. She felt as if she were tumbling into him, the very same way she'd first felt on that fateful day when they had first met in the boardroom at Schiller, Schiller and Mason. “Something was missing. You.”
“Me?”
“You mind if I come in?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder at the deep night which lay beyond the porch lights. “I didn't wanna assume anything, but it was a long drive and I don't have a place to stay right now.”
“You d-don't?”
“I could get a hotel.”
“No!” she forced the word out, then reached for him, grabbing his hand and practically pulling him inside. “No, please. You're welcome to stay here, of course. Of course you are.”
He smiled, allowing her to draw him into the house.
“I... I didn't think I was ever going to see you again...” she said, her voice small and timid in the darkness of the foyer.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, then lifted her chin so that their eyes met once more. “That was the plan... but I guess I can't stay away from you. I guess I need you. I guess... I love you.”
And then he leaned in and they were kissing. They kissed long and deep, and she felt like her head was spinning, felt like her feet were leaving the ground. Her feet were leaving the ground. He'd picked her right up as he kissed her.
“I love you so much, Natalie Kendall,” he said the moment when their lips parted.