“You do?”
She nods.
I trail behind Jessa into the living room. She asks Molly to sit on the couch and takes the seat next to her.
“Sweetie, do you remember when I said you have a different daddy?” I’ve never heard Jessa speak so soft.
Damn, she went straight for it.
Molly blinks at her in disbelief and rubs her eyes. “Yes …” She drops her hands and rests them in her lap. “But … I don’t know why Daddy can’t be my daddy anymore. I liked him being my daddy. I love him!” Her cheeks turn red as tears fall down them.
Tears hit Jessa’s eyes, and she hurriedly wipes them away. I have no doubt she loves our child.
They cry while I struggle to control my own emotions.
Struggle to not console them.
I knew this would be hard, but I didn’t think it’d be this painful.
My heart knocks against my chest while breaking at the same time for the little girl I hardly know. I’m livid with Jessa but also with myself.
What if she’s telling the truth of knowing I wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with Molly?
Regret slams into me like a headache.
Jessa pulls Molly into a hug and mouths to me, Tell her.
I respond with a what the fuck look.
I’m the last person who knows how to do this.
I move closer and sink to my knees in front of them.
Is it too early?
Hell yes, it is.
It’s too late to stop now.
I suck in a breath to stop my tears, focusing on Molly, and scratch my neck. I don’t speak until she pulls out of Jessa’s arms.
“Molly.” I pause to clear my throat. “I know what your mom said is confusing. I was confused when she told me, too. You loved your daddy, and I know he loved you. But you also have another daddy who loves you, and that’s me.”
Molly’s eyes widen in more disbelief. “Huh?”
“Honey, Maliki is your real daddy,” Jessa explains more confidently. “Pete was what we call a stepdad. He was your daddy when Mommy was married to him.” She kisses the top of her head. “You have two daddies, and Maliki will be yours from now on, okay?”
From what it seems, Pete was a good father to her.
Until he tossed her out of his life as if she meant nothing.
It’ll look like I took that away from her.
Shit!
Molly gapes at me with brown eyes, her mouth open. All I can manage to give in return is a lame attempt at a reassuring smile.
I feel so guilty.
I hate myself.
Hate Jessa.
Her tears don’t stop. “So … you’re my daddy now?”
I nod. “I am.”
“What if I want my old daddy back?”
My eyes are damp.
I want to fucking kill Jessa for putting us through this.
“Sweetie, this is your real daddy,” Jessa stresses.
Molly frowns, and that makes a man feel like shit. “My real daddy?”
“He’s always been your daddy,” Jessa goes on.
Her eyes pin to me. “Why weren’t you my daddy before? Where was you when I was smaller?”
Jessa squeezes her. “He didn’t know he was your daddy, and that’s Mommy’s fault.” She takes Molly’s small hand in hers. “I’m so sorry, honey.”
Wow.
Shock rushes through me at Jessa’s honesty—for her taking the blame.
We wait for what feels like forever for Molly’s response.
She sniffles, her face unreadable. “Can I have my doll, please?” Every ounce of the excitement she’s had all evening vanishes.
I frown.
Jessa nods, handing her a doll, and Molly grips it to her chest while sprinting down the hall.
“That didn’t go over so well,” Jessa whispers.
I stand and shake my head in disbelief. It wasn’t supposed to go down like this. “Way to confuse a six-year-old.”
She sighs. “It went better than I’d expected. Sure, she’ll have questions, but she’s more in shock and scared than anything.”
I stumble back a step. “Scared of me?”
“No, of the situation. I bring in a stranger and say, Hey, here’s your father, not the one you’ve called Daddy for years. She needs to spend time with you, not see you as a stranger. She needs familiarity.”
“I agree.” I sit down, drop my head between my legs, and calm my anger before lifting it. “It would’ve been much easier had you told me in the beginning.”
Her eyes downcast. “It’s over. We can’t change what happened.”
“My daughter thinks another man is her father,” I hiss. “Why did you hide it?”
“What was I supposed to tell Pete? I was pregnant with another man’s child but wanted to be with him? He would’ve left me.”
“Speaking of Pete, what about him? I’m sure he’s on the birth certificate as the father. That’s another issue.”
She shakes her head. “He’s heartbroken, and he refuses to see her. He says it hurts too much and has already filed for divorce. He’s done with both of us.”
“Ah, he left you, and now, I’m your next option. What you did was inexcusable.”
Sadness cloaks her face. “She deserves a family like she had before.”
“Let me make this clear: this does not mean we’ll be a family. I can hardly look at you for hiding this from me, but I have to for my daughter. A daughter I hardly know because of your selfishness.”
“I’m sorry, Maliki! If I could take it back, I would.”
I only shake my head.
“I loved you, you know. Then, you left me.”
“We were young, dumb, and I had my own shit to deal with. You had your own shit to deal with.”
She rolls her eyes. “Too young and dumb? Look at who you’re dating. Someone young and dumb.”
I sneer at her. My heart clenches, reminding me how I lied to Sierra tonight. “Don’t. Don’t even fucking bring up or disrespect Sierra.”
“I have a say of who’s around my child.”
“Sierra is part of my life. Molly is now part of my life. Eventually, they’ll interconnect.”
“Let’s confuse her more.” She throws her arms up in the air. “Here’s your new dad and his girlfriend.”
We need a subject change.
“Why don’t we stop talking about my girlfriend and check on our daughter?”
Jessa rises. “Follow me. I know how to fix this.”
I follow her into a bedroom with a full-size bed where more dolls take residence next to Molly. Her eyes are puffy, and she doesn’t look up when we walk in.
“Molly, honey, how about some ice cream?” Jessa asks.
Molly’s head flies up as if Jessa had told her the Easter Bunny were here. She wipes away the snot under her nose and grins. “Really?”
“Really. It was your dad’s idea. He wants to make you a bowl.”
Molly’s attention flies to me, and I grin. “Come on. We’ll make your favorite kind.”
She drops the doll and jumps to her feet. “Can we watch cartoons while eating our ice cream?”
“Sure,” I answer.
Ice cream makes her happy.
I need to remember that.
Shit, I’ll spend every dollar I have on ice cream if it makes her feel better.
We make giant bowls, and she grins when I sit next to her on the couch.
* * *
I’m woken up by my phone buzzing in my pocket. When I glance down to retrieve it, I find Jessa snuggled in my lap, nearly on top of me. She’s awake with the remote in her hand.
“What the fuck?” I snap. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
She peeks up at me with puckered lips and innocent eyes. “I didn’t want to be rude. You looked exhausted and in need of sleep.”
I shift to stand, but she moves quicker and straddles my lap.
Jesus Christ.
“Why don’t you
stay here tonight?” She rotates her hips, her lips nuzzling into my neck, and I nearly vomit.
If her goal is to get my dick hard, she’s confused.
“Jessa,” I bite out, “I don’t want to push you off my lap, but if you don’t get up in the next five seconds, I will.”
She moans and rolls her hips.
I grab her ass and dump her onto the floor.
Her eyes bulge, staring up at me, flustered, from the floor when I stand.
“I warned you.”
She brings herself up while huffing, “Where does she think you are tonight anyway?”
“None of your business.” I tug my phone from my pocket, my pulse quickening. “When can I see Molly next?” I can’t wait until she becomes comfortable enough with me that I won’t have to deal with Jessa around.
“Whenever you want. Maybe you can have lunch with us tomorrow?” She holds up her finger. “Oh! We’re going to the city in a few days to shop for school clothes. She’s nervous about going to school. Maybe it’ll be a good experience for you to bond, and you can put her at ease.”
I nod. “Email me the details. I don’t want you texting me anymore. Lunch tomorrow sounds good.”
“Email, huh? You’d better tell Sierra dearest before she catches you in your lies.”
I point to her, fuming. “Stop with the fucking Sierra talk. I won’t say it again.”
“Why? If you’re so serious, why won’t you tell her? Are you ashamed of our daughter?”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I halt, noticing Molly isn’t on the couch, which means Jessa put her in bed while I was sleeping.
When I walk out the door, I check my phone.
Cohen’s text is what woke me up.
I scroll down the screen.
My stomach drops.
Six texts from Sierra.
I check the time.
It’s after midnight.
Fuck!
26
Sierra
I trust him.
That’s what I repeat to myself while waiting for Maliki to come home. I wish he’d asked me to take his shift tonight instead of Mikey. It would’ve calmed my nervous thoughts.
I attempt to work on designs for the bar but can’t concentrate.
He’s hiding something from me.
I could’ve tagged along with him to Twisted Fox, and the panic in his voice told me he didn’t want me anywhere near that bar tonight.
Why?
I’ve texted him a few times and received one reply, saying he was busy and would be home around nine o’clock when a replacement came.
Nine o’clock was three hours ago.
I don’t call or text him again.
Screw that.
I shut my computer, debating on sleeping in the guest bedroom tonight. I decide otherwise as I yawn, plug in my charger, and climb into bed, worry dancing through me.
I fidget, staring at the alarm clock, watching the night grow later and later.
I stiffen when I hear the front door unlock and then open. I remain still and silent, listening as he walks into the room, undresses, and slides into bed.
His arms wrap around my waist, and he pulls me into his chest.
I twist away.
Fuck that.
“What the hell, Sierra?” he bursts out.
I whip around as he lifts and shove his chest. “You tell me! You’re coming home from the same bar my husband cheated on me at, smelling like some cheap whore’s perfume.” Spit flies with my words. “At least Devin had the decency to hide it.”
He moves away to turn the lamp on.
We’re on our knees, staring at each other in shock.
“You honestly think I’d hurt you like that?” He holds his finger up, his brows furrowing. “And your soon-to-be ex-husband. Let’s get that straight right fucking now. I have nothing to have the decency to hide.”
“And I’m your soon-to-be ex-whatever-I am,” I fire back with venom in my words.
His chest hitches. “Don’t say that shit.”
“I want to see Cohen’s tapes,” I challenge, resulting in him flinching.
“You don’t trust me. Wow.”
“Not when you come home this late. Wow.”
He runs his hands through his hair. “I swear to you, on everything, I’d never cheat on you. If I ever even thought about touching another woman, I’d end things between us first.”
Tears trickle down my face, sticking my hair to my face, and he brushes the strands aside.
“I love you. I fucking love you to no end and will never jeopardize losing you. Do you hear me?” He catches my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him, and massages my face with his fingers.
I swallow rapidly. “Okay.” As much as I want to carry on this conversation, I’m drained and terrified of where our relationship will go from here.
I’ve wanted Maliki for as long as I can remember, and he’s already slipping away.
I sniffle. “Please don’t play me for a fool.”
“Never happening.” His jaw flexes, and he drops his hand from my face. He gives me a quick peck on the lips and pulls himself out of bed.
“Where are you going?” I rush out, crawling to the edge of the bed, wishing the desperation weren’t there.
His jaw remains clenched. “Shower. I apparently smell like some women’s cheap perfume, and I’m not about to bring that shit into our bed.”
He kisses the top of my head, and nausea balls up into my stomach as I lie back down, my back facing the bathroom.
Maliki’s arms wrap around me again when he returns. He smells like clean soap, and his hair is wet. His lips brush against my ear. “Please trust me, baby.” He drops kisses along my neck. “I’ve never given you a reason not to.”
I don’t push him away this time. “You’ve also never done anything this sketchy.”
His hand slips between my legs, and I wish I didn’t spread them wider.
“Why would I want another woman when I have this?” He sinks two fingers inside me. “When I come home to this? You’re all I want.”
He grabs my jaw, pulling my head back to kiss me.
I let him.
Even though I don’t believe him.
I gasp when he slides himself inside me.
Even though I don’t believe him.
I allow him to make love to me.
Even though I don’t believe him.
I’m on the road of heartbreak again, but I can’t seem to jump off the ride like I did with Devin.
* * *
The next morning, Maliki makes love to me.
He’s gone all day, supposedly at the Twisted Fox, but he makes it back in time to work at the pub.
Weird.
* * *
This morning, he gives me an orgasm before dropping his bomb.
He makes us breakfast before ruining my day.
“Hey, babe,” he says, giving me a quick peck on the lips and sitting across from me at the table. “I’m going to the city to sample new product with Cohen. Liz offered to cover my shift, so you’ll be working with her tonight. I won’t be gone late.”
I take a bite of toast and consider what response to give while chewing.
Rip him a new asshole?
Act like everything is okay?
Leave him?
“That’s cool,” is what I choose to go with as an idea pops into my head. I keep my tone calm. “I’ve put off going to the mall. I need some makeup and bras. I’ll ask Mikey to take my shift. It shouldn’t be a problem. He always wants money, and we can make a day of it. Maybe have dinner when you’re done.”
This is a test.
He drops his bacon, startled, and scoots his plate away from him. “Make me a list. I’ll pick up whatever you need. We’ll make a date to go into the city sometime next week. Sound good?”
Hell no.
“Make you a list of bras and makeup I need?” I deadpan.
He nods, refusing to meet my gaze, and plucks a slic
e of bacon from his plate.
I roll my eyes and am the next one to push my plate up the table. “I need to shower.”
He stiffens in his chair and stops chewing. “We showered an hour ago.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t think you’d lie to me an hour ago.”
He curses as I walk away but doesn’t stop me.
27
Maliki
“You’re shitting me,” Cohen says over the phone after I tell him about Molly.
I had to give him a heads-up. I need a favor.
I shake my head even though he can’t see me. “Nope.”
“Wow,” is all he says, stretching the word out for seconds.
Cohen is the only person I’ve told. No one in my family knows. I have to handle my own shock and come to terms with everything before releasing the news into the world. Cohen won’t ask as many questions as Sierra and my sister.
At least, I hope not.
I’ve never exactly held a secret this large.
I followed Sierra when she stomped away from breakfast to shower. She wouldn’t listen to a word I said as I went into detail about this stupid-ass nonexistent product I was lying about testing. She turned away, giving me her back, as I begged her to trust me. I debated joining her, thawing out her cold behavior with an orgasm, but wasn’t going to risk a razor to my balls.
I will fix this.
I will tell her.
I don’t know why I’m being so chickenshit.
As bad as I want to stay here with her, shower with her, work with her, I also want to see my daughter.
The more relaxed Molly becomes with me, the faster I can kick hanging out with Jessa to the curb.
“What did Sierra say?” His question breaks me away from my thoughts.
I scratch my head. “I, uh … haven’t told her yet.”
“Now, you’ve really got to be shitting me. What the fuck, Ki? Did you break up?”
“No, we’re good. I’m waiting for the right time.”
“Not only have you known about this for weeks, but you also told me before her? I understand you’re inexperienced in the relationship department, but that’s not how one functions—a healthy one, at least. Hiding you have a kid sure as fuck isn’t healthy! Think about this: her ex cheated on her. The longer you hide this, the worse damage it’ll cause.”
Just Roommates Page 19