by Ruby Rowe
“Shit, that means I have to get fixed up–like right now.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No, but thank you. I’ll hobble my way through it.”
“Give me a call if you need anything.”
“Um, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Is Leon like Zain? I mean, does he like to party hard?”
“He got sober years ago, but between us, he sometimes has a negative effect on Zain. He came to meet you.”
“Oh, God. No pressure or anything.”
“I wouldn’t worry. He’ll like you.”
“Thanks, Nash. Tell Zain I’m getting ready.”
***
“Who the hell are all these people?” I ask as I stand with Zain and Nash inside the doorway of the packed penthouse suite Leon reserved for the night.
“Friends of my dad’s. Like me, he has them in every city he’s performed in.”
“I see that.”
“Come on. We’ll find you a comfortable spot before you meet him.”
“I’m nervous.”
“So am I,” Zain mutters.
He helps me to a comfy, large chair near the sofa, and the guy sitting in it immediately rises after recognizing Zain. They hug it out while exchanging a few words I can’t hear over the loud music playing.
As I plop unladylike onto the cushion, Zain gives my crutches to Nash, who walks away with them and my purse. Feeling vulnerable, I straighten my short shorts and reposition my throbbing ankle.
“Let me find Leon. I only need to wait for his boisterous laugh and follow it.”
Giving me a peck on the lips, Zain leaves me alone. There are three women on the couch to my right, and the guy who got up from my chair is now sitting in one across from me. He looks about fifty and is staring my way.
“I’m Johnny, a good friend of Leon’s,” he says loudly.
“Hi, I’m Olivia, Zain’s girlfriend.”
“It’s nice to meet you. I heard your dad’s a politician.”
“Yes.”
He takes a drink of his beer and smirks. “I bet he’s not happy about his little girl dating a rock star.”
“Seeing how I’m no longer a little girl, it doesn’t matter what he thinks.”
“Damn. I guess like Leon, his boy loves them feisty.”
“What’s this about me?” a deep voice asks. I look to my left, and Leon Richie is standing at my side. My mouth falls open as I admire the rock legend before me. His long, dark hair is pulled back in a ponytail, the few gray strands visible.
“I was just getting to know Zain’s girlfriend.”
Leon’s eyes dart to mine before a wide grin spreads across his face. The resemblance to his son is uncanny. Z has his father’s mouth and matching chiseled jawline.
“Well, well, well. I see my boy has impeccable taste. Miss Olivia, is it?”
I reach my hand out for him to shake. “Thank you. Yes, Olivia Bradford, and you’re Leon Richie.”
“The one and only.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’d stand, but I don’t have my crutches.”
“How dare my boy leave you alone. He should know better than to leave you helpless around my friends and me.” He winks.
“I was only off looking for you,” Zain says, shoving past him to sit by me on the arm of the chair. Protectively, he pulls me against his side.
“Leon’s only joking. He and his friends would know better than to hit on you. Right, Dad?” Zain stares his father down until Leon bursts into a deep-belly laugh.
“Damn. I’ve never seen my boy not want to share. You must have him whipped good.”
“Hardly,” I reply. “I’m learning that taming Z would be like trying to get my father to vote in favor of free healthcare. Not gonna happen.” All those around us laugh.
“Could you convince your father to vote to legalize weed country-wide? My friends would appreciate it,” Leon says. Laughter once again overrides the music playing in the room. “In all seriousness, it’s good to hear you’re not trying to change my boy.”
I swallow hard from his comment. I do want to change one thing about Zain, but is it so wrong to want him to ease up on the drug use? Although, right now I could use some blow to help me wake up. I try to hide my yawn with my hand.
“Damn, I’m boring her already,” Leon says.
“No. It’s the pain pills for my ankle that are making me sleepy.”
“Tripped over some shoes, huh? I’d love to hear the real story.”
“Dad,” Zain warns. “Leave it alone.”
Leon’s eyes bounce between the two of us, studying what, I’m not sure. All I know is there is major tension between him and his son tonight, and I hope I’m not the cause of it.
“I’m going to get your crutches,” Zain whispers in my ear. “I think you should prop your foot up in one of the bedrooms for a while.” Kissing the top of my head, he walks away.
“I’m impressed by you, Miss Olivia,” his dad says. “It’s not an easy feat to nail down a young, famous musician. Watch yourself … and him.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“New temptations will be waiting at every city for the both of you.”
“Stop filling her head with lies,” Zain says as he sticks my crutches in front of me.
“They’re not lies.”
“OK, stop filling her head with needless worries. Like I said earlier, I’m not you.”
Seeming embarrassed, Leon glances around at his friends and laughs.
“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Son.”
“No, but not all apples are rotten like you.”
“Oooh, he got you there,” Johnny replies. “Rotten is your middle name.”
“He won’t admit it, but Zain’s as spoiled as I am. He’s had everything he’s ever wanted handed to him on a silver platter, whereas I had to work for my shit.”
“I think Zain works hard every day,” I interject.
“I’m only busting his chops, sweetheart. I know he works hard, but thanks to me, he doesn’t need to.”
“Let’s go,” Zain says anxiously. Getting up, I glance at Leon and his friends.
“It was nice meeting all of you.”
Zain grips my arm, so I hop away on my crutches. He leads me to a bedroom, and once inside, he shuts the door behind us. The disappointing fact is that we’re not alone. Toby, Aiden and some of the other crew members are inside, having their own little party.
Stepping in front of me, Zain grips my shoulders.
“Babe, I can’t keep my promise tonight. I don’t know why, but my dad is pushing every button I got. Damn, he’s pissing me off.”
“OK … I guess.”
“Blondie!” Toby shouts before he pats the spot next to him on the king-size bed. “Come sit by me.”
“Let’s have some fun tonight,” Zain says. “It’ll help your pain.”
I make it over to the bed and climb up next to Toby at the head of it. I find it interesting that Zain seems less paranoid about me being on the bed with his friend than he did while I was chatting with his father.
Toby takes the pillow behind him and props my foot on it. He holds a mirror out to Zain that’s covered with lines of blow. Not hesitating, Z takes it from him, along with a rolled-up dollar bill. He sits by my legs and snorts three lines without a second thought before he hands me the mirror.
Staring at the remaining white powder, I notice the way my body responds to seeing it. My mouth waters, and my pulse slams on the gas. I want to forget that Zain has issues with his dad like I do with mine. I also want to forget that he couldn’t stay clean for one single night.
Since Leon showed up unexpectedly, I’m going to cut Z the slack he’s asked for lately. I’m also going to do these lines against my better judgement.
What I’ve been fearing and denying is true. When I was only beginning to find myself, I became lost in Zain Richie’s world. Like Ken and my par
ents have done, he’s going to bulldoze me for as long as I’ll tolerate it. The thought makes me sad and lonely, so I inhale the white powder that will paint me a different picture.
In seconds, the ominous clouds dissipate, and I’m surrounded by bright light and a buzzing energy throughout my body. Zain gives me a pleased smile before he rubs blow on his gums and gives me a lengthy, deep kiss.
My mouth tingles and so does my pussy. The whistles from our spying friends penetrate my ears like there are referees surrounding us, blowing penalties all at once.
Separating my lips from Zain’s, I open my eyes and stare into his. Music from a local radio station is playing in the room, and Selena Gomez’s song “The Heart Wants What It Wants” comes on.
I sing the words while I trail my fingers through Zain’s soft hair. The lyrics couldn’t be more fitting for what I feel I’m going through with this man, but I can’t stop wanting what I know isn’t good for me.
“There’s my girl. My dad thinks you won’t be enough for me, all because I’m a musician, but he’s wrong. You’re more than enough.”
With my hands in his hair, I bring Z’s mouth to mine. If only his words were true. There’s one thing he’ll always want more than me, and if I continue down this path, I’ll want it more than him, too.
***
Lying at the base of the toilet, I raise up enough to puke in the bowl a fourth time. I’m exhausted afterward, so I close my eyes and rest my cheek on the rim of the cold seat that’s peppered with piss from the guys. The stench…
I sit up to escape the smell, but without warning, vomit projectiles from my mouth, spraying the floor and my top and shorts. I’ve reached an all new low in my life. Death has to feel better than this, and there’s no going to hell because I’m already there.
Feeling a sharp pain in my sprained ankle from how it’s turned on its side, I can’t help but cry out. Tears trickle down my cheeks, and once the salty taste of them mixes with the remnants of puke in my mouth, a sob escapes me.
Bawling, I fall over on the floor and play with a blurry white cap covering a screw around the bottom of the toilet. This porcelain contraption was truly made to take all our shit, and I’ve been carrying around more than I realized.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone in my life. I dozed off around 4:00 a.m., and when I woke shortly after, Toby and Zain weren’t among the many bodies scattered throughout the room. I couldn’t even find my crutches, so I crawled to the bathroom since my stomach was churning too intensely to hop.
I drank five cocktails last night, took pain pills and did several lines of blow. It’s a miracle my heart hasn’t stopped beating. Instead, my stomach is revolting the pizza I ate that the crew had delivered while we were partying. How do they do this night after night?
Acknowledging that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, I continue to sob, my cries growing louder after every desperate breath. The door opens, and Aiden’s face appears above mine, his hair dangling before me. He rubs my shoulder.
“Hey, girl. Damn, are you OK?”
“No. I need Apple. Please … will you get her? I can’t do this anymore.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Tripp
My phone rings on the nightstand a second time before I force my eyes open. I see Aiden’s name on the screen about the time there’s a pounding on the door.
Once I notice that the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock read 6:00 a.m., I know something’s wrong. I jump up and pull on my jeans. After trekking through the suite, I swing the hotel door open.
“What’s wrong?” I ask Aiden.
“It’s Olivia. She’s a mess and asking for Apple.”
“What do you mean she’s a mess?”
“She’s fucked-up from partying with the crew.” His gaze drops to the floor. “And with Zain and me.”
I step back so he can come inside. “Why the hell were you there?”
“I was pissed at Faith because that fucker Asher showed up. I couldn’t take that she went to his room.”
“I’ll wake up Apple. Where’s Zain?”
“I don’t know. I crashed on the bedroom floor, and when I woke up from hearing Olivia, Z was gone. She only asked for Apple. Bro, I think she’s going to leave him.”
Save them.
Startled by Nathan’s unexpected voice, I jump and cover my ear.
Save them before it’s too late. Forget about me.
“Are you all right?” Aiden asks.
“Uh, yeah. I’ll be right back.” I jog to the bedroom and shake Apple by the shoulder. “Baby, wake up. Something’s wrong with Olivia, and she’s asking for you.” Rubbing her eyes, she opens them and focuses on mine. “Nathan’s talking to me and shit, too. I need you to get up.”
“Of course,” she replies hoarsely. While Apple dresses, I pull on a t-shirt and lace my boots. I’m going to see to it that it’s Zain’s day of reckoning. I’m not living through another nightmare, especially one that could affect my brother’s spirit. Olivia leaving Zain’s ass may be the come-to-Jesus moment he needs to finally get clean.
Olivia
“Oh, my God,” Apple says before she squats beside me. “Help me get her up.”
Strong hands wrap around my body, and Tripp lifts me until I’m sitting upright. He gently pushes me back to rest against the wall behind me.
“For fuck’s sake,” he mutters. I keep my eyes closed. I can’t look at their disgusted expressions after they’ve inhaled the stench of vomit and seen me wearing it. I hear water running before someone presses a cool washcloth against my forehead.
“Could you two leave us alone please?” Apple asks.
Hearing the door shut, I open my eyes. Apple’s green irises are staring back at me, the squinty shape displaying her concern.
“He couldn’t even stay clean one day for me, Apple. I caved. I did, but mainly because the truth hurt too much. I didn’t want to feel the pain from it.”
“I’m so sorry. I never should’ve contacted you. I had hoped you could help him, but I shouldn’t have put you in that position.”
I stare her square in the eyes as she holds the washcloth.
“Answer me honestly. Do you believe Zain can stop doing drugs on his own?”
Shaking her head, she looks down. “I once thought he could, but not anymore. He needs to go to rehab.”
“Do you believe he’ll go if I ask him to?”
“I don’t know.”
“Will you get Tripp? I want to ask him.”
She gives me the washcloth and leaves the restroom. A couple of minutes have passed when Tripp returns and sits beside me on the floor.
“I’m sorry that I stink,” I murmur.
“I’ve been there.”
“I asked Apple a question, and she said she didn’t know the answer. I want your honest opinion. If I give Zain an ultimatum–drugs or me, which will he choose?”
Tripp exhales slowly before he turns his head to look at me.
“Zain’s a lot like my brother was. He believes he can have everything he wants for as long as he wants it. Unless you leave him, he’ll always find a way to have both you and his drugs.”
Swallowing my pain, I nod.
“You’re a smart girl. You weren’t asking for my opinion. You were only looking for confirmation of what you already knew; you’ll always give in if you stay.”
“If I leave him, do you think he’ll get help?”
“I can’t say for sure, but what I’m certain of is that as long as you’re here, rehab’s the last place he’ll go. I’m sorry to have to tell you that.”
“No. I appreciate your honesty. His health is what matters most. Our health. I love him, Tripp. I love him enough to leave, and I still love myself enough. I have to go before I hate the person I’ve become.” Feeling the heartache of what I have to do, I rest my arms on my knees and weep against them.
“Fuck, Richie,” Tripp sneers before he leaves me alone. My eyes continue to rain, and my stomac
h aches while my heart delivers stabbing pains in my chest.
Zain may not seek help when I leave him, but staying isn’t an option. This is a sacrifice I have to make for the both of us.
Apple returns with my purse.
“Is this your bag? I saw that there’s an outfit inside.”
“Yeah, it’s mine.”
“Tripp said you want to go home.”
“It’s the only way Zain may seek help and my only shot at saving myself.”
“Olivia…”
“Don’t, or I’ll cry again.”
“Tripp’s arranging for a jet to take you and me to San Francisco.”
“We have to hurry before Zain appears. He’ll try to stop me, and I’ll want to believe his lies. Please, help me get out of here before I change my mind.”
Zain
“Wake the fuck up,” Tripp says as he shoves on my chest. Opening my eyes, I peel my tongue away from the roof of my mouth like it’s two-sided Velcro.
I look around, and spotting Toby behind Tripp, I remember that I’m in his hotel room. “I like to have never found your ass,” Tripp adds as he picks a needle up from the nightstand that’s between the two beds. “When did you start this shit?”
I scrub my face. “This was only my second time. I swear.”
“You need to get back to the penthouse suite.”
“Why? Is Olivia up?”
“Actually, she left.”
“What do you mean she left? Where did she go?” I sit up as a panicked feeling washes over me.
“She’s on her way home, man. You fucked up one too many times.”
“You’re bullshitting me.”
“Aiden found her wrapped around a toilet this morning. She was bawling, her clothes spattered with vomit. Once again, you left her alone when she needed you most. A girl raised like her knows she deserves better. Now, you have ten minutes to get to Leon’s suite, or I’m bringing the few people who still give a damn about you to this room.”
“Oh, fuck no. I don’t need a damn intervention.” I climb off the bed that’s covered in drug paraphernalia. “What did you guys say to Olivia to make her leave?”