by Ruby Rowe
“Don’t doubt for a second that I haven’t thought of that every day. It’s eaten me up inside.”
“Then do this for her. For you. I have friends who came out, and it was liberating for them.”
“And if the photos leak?”
“You act like a proud, gay motherfucker and own that shit. Trust me; a story dies the fastest when the victim acts like they don’t care.”
He shakes his head. “It must be nice not to give a damn. I sure as hell don’t have your courage.”
“Liv’s a brave-ass bitch when she needs to be, so I’m sure you have that strength inside you. Will you think about it?”
“I guess.”
“If you decide to come out, I have a plan of how we can get ahead of the story. Wanna hear it?”
“If it means I don’t have to suck Ken Ingram’s tiny dick, I’m all ears.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Olivia
I can’t hear my phone ring as I sew, but the second I see Zain’s name light up on the screen, I release my foot pedal. After the fourth ring, when I know it’s about to go to voicemail, I grab it to answer.
“What do you want? I’m busy.”
“I need to say some things. I wanted to do it in person, but your brother is on his way to your place.”
“You talked to Landon?”
“Yep.”
“Oh, God. What did you do?”
“I told him about Ken.”
“What? Zain, you had no right.”
“I love you, and I’m not letting the cheating bastard ruin your life.”
“What did Landon say?”
“You’ll know soon. Please listen to him, and I hope you’ll let me explain why I’ve been such a jerk.”
“There’s no need. Once you got clean, you realized I wasn’t what you wanted. End of story.”
“That’s not true at all. I’ve never stopped wanting you. Look, I thought I was doing you a favor by staying away. I mean, what if we were to get back together and I relapsed?
“I also thought you should focus on your career instead of mine. I was trying to be selfless and think of you, but now I know I should’ve talked to you about it instead of deciding on my own.”
“Yeah, you should’ve.”
“Your dad asked me to stay away from you, and in return, he said he’d lease space for you to open a boutique.”
“You’ve got to be kidding. He already showed me the place, but he failed to mention your little talk. Did you agree to it?”
“Yes, but only because I thought I was putting your needs first. I was wrong and should’ve fought for us. I want you back, and I want you to go on tour with me. I can’t get out of this one, but I’ve thought about it, and once it ends, I’ll take a break from music so that we can stay in Danville while you pursue your dreams. If that’s what you want.”
“I’d never ask that of you.”
“I know, but I’m not the same selfish prick I was before I went to rehab, and I want to prove it. Don’t give me an answer tonight. Picture your future, and if I’m in it, then I’ll do everything I can not to let you down again.”
Hearing the doorbell, I shake my head in frustration.
“I already know what I want, but so that you don’t doubt me, I’ll wait to tell you. Landon must be here. I should go.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, even though you’re clueless most of the time.”
Hanging up, I pad to the door and open it for Landon.
“Hi,” I say. “Zain just called. Please don’t yell at me for not telling you about Ken and the photos.”
“I’m not going to yell at you.” Pulling me into his arms, my brother hugs me and doesn’t let go for an awkward minute.
“I’ve had my own secret, and I’m praying like hell you understand why I’ve kept it from you.”
Zain
“Thanks for coming in early to meet me,” I say to the band in the control room at the studio. While the guys chill on the couch, Faith swivels in a chair.
“What’s up?” she asks before smacking her gum.
“I need a favor. It’s one I don’t deserve, but I’m asking because it would get Olivia and her brother out of a messed-up situation.”
“What now?” Tripp asks like I’ve exhausted him already.
“I need for us to hold a concert right away. It would be in the parking lot of the Morning In The Bay show the day after tomorrow. I told them I had a juicy story for them, so they agreed to bump another guest and allow the concert.”
Tripp shakes his head. “We can’t do that. The fans we’ve cancelled shows on would be pissed.”
“I disagree,” Faith interjects. “They know we’ll make good on our word and still do their gigs. With Z just getting out of rehab, a concert here will be like kicking off the tour again.”
“What’s the point of the concert?” Aiden asks.
“This is going to sound unusual coming from me, but it’s to support the LGBTQ+ community.”
“Say what?”
“I’ll tell you the whole story later, but I need a way for Olivia’s brother to come out that he’s gay.”
“Can’t he do that on a smaller scale?” Tripp asks.
“No. Liv’s ex Ken is blackmailing her with explicit photos of her brother. If Landon doesn’t come out in a grand way, seeming invincible to possible backlash, it’s likely those photos will leak.”
“If history has told us anything, they will regardless,” Faith says.
“Releasing them could backfire on Ken, and he knows why, so I’m hoping Landon’s public confession will make it not worth the risk. I know I’m asking a huge favor, but this may be the only way I get my girl back. I’ll pay for your time out of my pocket.”
“I wouldn’t take your fucking money,” Faith says.
“I only need you to show up and perform. I promise.”
Tripp turns his ball cap forward and squeezes the bill.
“You know I don’t care if someone’s gay, bi, trans, or whatever else, but it’s not something talked about often in the rock scene. I can’t help but wonder what our fans would think.”
“Who the fuck cares?” Faith spouts. “If they want to be haters, they can find a new band to follow. We’ve never supported intolerance.”
“I only mentioned it to be sure we’ve all thought about the potential ramifications. I’m happy to do your concert, Richie. I think it’s cool, but I just want to be sure you can handle more bad press if it’s thrown our way.”
“You said my health should come first. Well, getting Olivia back is what’s best for my health. I can’t lose her, guys, and I won’t let arrogant, hypocritical cocksuckers like Ken and Congressman Bradford keep her from me. They’re not shitting on her brother, either. Come on. Will you help us out?”
“I’m in,” Aiden says.
“Same,” Tripp adds.
Faith shakes her head, and if looks could kill, Aiden would drop dead on the spot. “Thanks to your little stunt before Z went to rehab, Asher’s still aggravated with me, and the band’s skating on thin ice. I’ll probably have to offer up my ass after this unauthorized gig just to smooth things over with him. At least I know he enjoys that tight hole of mine.”
“Fuck you,” Aiden sneers.
“Since you’re a snitch, no thanks.”
“Cut the shit,” Tripp says. “When Z went to rehab, we agreed to get along better.”
Aiden holds his hand out. “Then do something about her filthy mouth.”
“I only see this as a positive,” I say, trying to get back to business. “Fuck the haters. We may lose a few fans, but I bet we’ll gain new ones. Honestly, this could be epic. It’s time the rock scene got with the times.”
Faith flashes devil horns. “Agreed. Let’s do this.”
“Thank you. Truly.”
Tripp’s phone dings with a text...
“Shit. Apple said the first issue of eWired went live. She didn’t let me
read her article before submitting it, so don’t freak out on me if it contains something you don’t like. Also, go easy on her. We didn’t give her much to work with.”
Tilting her eyes to the ceiling and making prayer hands, Faith says, “God, I pray that your forbidden fruit has made us sound better than we actually are because we sure as hell don’t need any more fucking drama. Amen.”
“Faith, I mean it,” Tripp warns. “Apple’s excited about this, so don’t shit on her parade.”
“Damn, chill. I was joking.”
I pull my phone out. “I’m sure it’s bitchin’. Apple wouldn’t throw us under the bus like that.” Each of us search for the article. Like the way Olivia is talented with sewing, Apple’s amazing with words. I’m sure she nailed it.
THE MAGIC OF BORROWED FAITH
By: Apple Kingsley
If magic is created from pain, then the band Borrowed Faith has experienced their fair share of heartache. After touring with the iconic members, I knew I’d be writing about addiction, bitterness, conflict and death. Hell, I had the ingredients to whip up an article dark enough to make you wonder why you bothered getting out of bed in the morning.
Any writer trying to make it in journalism would be tempted to tip the story in the direction of immense controversy where you’re persuaded to believe these four celebrities’ lives aren’t as glowing as they previously appeared.
Yes, Borrowed Faith has taken some blows, but amidst the addiction, bitterness, conflict and death the band has faced, there’s an undeniable magic Faith Cottrell, Aiden Wild, Tripp Townsend and Zain Richie create together that truly makes their lives the furthest from ordinary or shameful. Anyone would be lucky to know these four musicians … these four remarkable human beings.
Several minutes pass as we read in-depth about ourselves. I’m the last to finish the article, and when I look up, the queen’s wiping away tears.
Tripp gets up and heads toward her. “Faith, I had no idea.” She shoves her hand out.
“Stop. Apple printed exactly what I told her, so it’s not her fault, but if you so much as touch my shoulder, I’m gonna lose it.”
“Peaches shared some personal shit,” I say, “but we knew it was coming. I still think it’s a damn good article. Hell, it’s the best to date.”
Dragging his hand over his mouth, Aiden starts for the door.
“I need some fucking air.”
“Aiden.” Faith hops to her feet and follows him out. The door slams behind them, and I flinch.
“What’s his problem?” Tripp asks.
“Oh, I don’t know, Tripple,” I reply sarcastically. “Maybe it’s the fact that he thought he only had Asher to compete with for Faith’s heart, when in fact, he has a dead guy to live up to.”
“Watch your step.” He points at me.
“It’s the truth. This article makes it sound like Nathan will own Faith’s heart for all of eternity. The queen confessed that she was infatuated with your brother.” I look at the article again. “Right here… Apple quoted Faith as saying, ‘Obsessed to the point of unhealthy.’ It’s no wonder Aiden’s butthurt.”
“That’s all the more reason she doesn’t belong with him and needs to stop fucking him whenever she feels like it. Nate never would’ve stood for them being together because he felt the same way about Faith as she did about him.”
“That’s hard to believe considering his behavior while they were together. Man, how do you not see what you’re doing to those two?” I point toward the door Faith and Aiden exited. “They only fight because they can’t take their anger out on you. They’re only not together because you won’t let them be. If you truly want to see this band mend, you’ll open your goddamn eyes.”
“They’ll move on eventually.”
“That’s fucking selfish, and if anyone knows where being selfish gets you, it’s me. Think about it, dude. You at least owe them that.”
Olivia
“Come on already,” I say with a groan as one of my parents’ neighbors drives in front of me down their street at the pace a sloth climbs a tree.
Finally, they pass my mom and dad’s driveway so I can pull into it. I put the car in park and run toward my parents’ home with only my keys jingling in my hand.
I’ve never been this eager to get to their house, but when Landon informed me he was telling them he was gay in person, rather than on the morning show, I had to bust ass to get here early.
I won’t let him do this alone. He said they deserved more respect than finding out on national television. I’ll be the judge of that once I see their reaction.
The door’s unlocked, so I run inside and to the living room. I come to a screeching halt when Landon and our parents look at me from where they’re standing in the middle of the room.
“I couldn’t let you do this alone. Am I too late?”
“No.” My brother doesn’t smile upon seeing me, but I’m not offended. Today may be the hardest day of his entire life. I’m sure it will be the hardest one to date.
“What’s going on?” Mother asks. “Landon said he had something important to tell us.”
“I’m gay,” he replies without warning. “That’s what I needed to tell you.” He exhales the longest breath.
Jesus, why don’t you give me a second to prepare myself?
After staring at him a few seconds, my father looks at my mother. She fingers her pearls as her eyes become watery. Landon swallows loudly. Or, maybe that was Dad and him doing it at the same time. Lifting his chin, my father pulls his eyes away from Mom and holds his finger up to point at my brother.
It shakes.
He’s shaking.
“I said I’m ga—”
“Dammit! I heard what you said!” Dad shouts. The rest of us jump in our skin. Closing his eyes, he tries to steady his hand. Landon looks at me, and I shrug, unsure of what to do or say.
This is going to get ugly.
Mom begins praying under her breath as she continues playing with her damn pearls like they’re freakin’ rosary beads.
I was wrong; this is going to get really ugly.
My father opens his eyes, and I see a fury in them I’ve never seen before. I expected disappointment, but this is unequivocal anger.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” he says calmly. Too calmly. “Everyone in this room is going to forget you ever said what you did, and it will be the last time it’s ever spoken of. I understand that you and Olivia are trying to pay your mother and me back for God only knows what, but this is taking it too far.”
“Yes, Dad. Olivia ran off with a rock star and I said I was gay for the sole purpose of revenge. For Christ’s sake, when will the two of you step out of Disneyland and see what’s happening before your eyes? I’m gay. It’s not something I can change, and I refuse to pretend it’s not true. As a matter of fact, I’m about to go on national television and tell the whole world.”
In an instant, it’s as if my father has grown three feet taller. His eyes bulge, and his shoulder’s lift as he pushes his chest forward.
“If you so much as breathe outside of these four walls what you just said, consider yourself no longer a part of this family. Do you understand me?”
“Wendell,” Mom says through a sniffle.
“Shut it, Gwen. I blame you for their rebellion, and it’s time I take charge of this family. Our children are out of control.”
“You know what?” Landon says. “Consider me gone. It’s your loss, not mine. Besides, there’s someone else I look up to every day.” As his eyes fill with tears, he blinks them away and looks at me.
“It’s Olivia. She’s shown me the true meaning of integrity, love and courage. All the years Mom hurt us and you turned a blind eye, Liv was the one there for me. When I was eighteen and told her I was gay, she hugged me and said it didn’t change a thing. The two of us are a real family, and if you can’t accept us for who we are, we’ve at least got each other.”
“Get out of my house,” Da
d replies.
“No problem. It’s never felt like home, anyway.”
I make eye contact with Gwendolyn, but she looks away, ashamed of us just like my father is. Walking over to Landon, I take his hand.
“Come on. You deserve better than this.” I lead him to the door, but once there, I look back at my parents. I can’t walk away without showing Landon that what he said was true; I’ll always have his back.
“Your world has only begun to implode. In a few hours, you’re going to have reporters swarming outside to speak to you. You better get Forrest over here to help you write your speech, Congressman. I doubt you want to admit to the whole world that you abandoned your son after he told you he was gay. I hope in the end, you’ll both come to your senses and find it in your hearts to do what’s right … love your children unconditionally.”
***
“Holy shit, I’ve never seen Dad so angry,” Landon says as we drive to the morning show.
“He’ll be lucky not to have a heart attack, and Mom will be drunk before noon.” I grin at my brother in the driver’s seat. “I don’t wish them ill harm, but I’ve never been prouder of you.”
“Telling them I was gay wasn’t easy, but what I have to do next will be a million times harder. I had an idea of what to expect from them, but that’s not the case when it comes to the public.”
“You don’t have to do this. Our parents knowing may be enough to get Ken to surrender.”
He shakes his head. “No. I want him to see that I’m not a coward or hypocrite like him. This confession will suck, but once it’s over, I won’t have to see men secretly like it’s something I should be ashamed of. I can go on real dates. I should’ve done this years ago.” Reaching over, he takes hold of my hand. “I should’ve told you when you started dating Ken, and we wouldn’t be going through this right now.”
“I understand why you didn’t. Yes, I was angry at first, but once I imagined being in your shoes, I got why you couldn’t find the courage to tell me. Ken was twenty-four, making a pass at a sixteen-year-old boy. He disgusts me.”