by Zoey Gong
The dress was not the most hideous one Priya had ever seen. It was a simple blue dress with an even darker blue pattern. With Priya’s black hair and dark skin, she thought she might be able to blend into the shadows and go unseen for most of the afternoon. Even though she was the reason for the entire afternoon event, she knew from experience that after the initial introductions, the British people would probably forget she and her mother were even there.
The dress only required one crinoline underneath to fill out the skirt, and it blessedly had short sleeves. Most of the time, Priya wondered how British women didn’t fall over dead in their layers of clothes and tight corsets in the oppressive Indian summers. She donned a simple straw bonnet with a matching blue ribbon and grabbed a lace parasol as she followed her mother out the door.
“Oh, Priya!” Memsahib Parker gasped when she saw her. “Aren’t you just pretty as a picture.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Priya said.
“Lucille,” Memsahib Parker said, nudging her daughter out from behind her. “That dress compliments Priya’s coloring so well!”
Priya paused and looked at Lucille with surprise. Lucille sighed and looked at her nails and then up at the sun, anywhere but at Priya.
“I guess,” Lucille said.
Priya’s anger softened. She was touched that Lucille had changed her mind and decided to join their little expedition across the road. Priya offered her a little smile, which Lucille finally saw, and she smiled back. They didn’t need to use words to reassure each other that they were friends again.
“It’s…nice,” Priya said. “Thank you.”
“Are we ready?” Memsahib Parker asked, and the rest of the women nodded. “Good,” she said and led them like ducks in a row out a side gate and down the road toward the Evans’ home.
As Priya looked up and down the street of elegant British-style houses, she wondered for a moment if she wasn’t in the center of Bombay at all but had been transported to London. Even though she had been raised in the British neighborhood, she had never felt at home here. She preferred visiting her aunts and uncles and cousins in a nearby village where the sights and smells were distinctly Indian.
“I hear that little Simon was being quite a scamp this morning,” Memsahib Parker said to Amma.
“Yes, ma’am,” she replied. “Ruined the whole basket of eggs.”
“Well, I did let him know that he shouldn’t have done that,” Memsahib Parker replied. “You’ll just have to go to the market later and get more.”
“Of course, ma’am,” Amma said, and Priya cursed to herself. Going to the market was no small feat, as Memsahib Parker made it sound. The eggs that Simon had destroyed were from the Parkers’ own coop. But the market was nearly an hour’s walk away. And at the end of the day, nearly all the best eggs would be gone, if there were any left at all.
“Perhaps Cook could make something else,” Priya offered. “Something that didn’t require eggs.”
“Oh, but it is Thursday!” Memsahib cried, as if that made a difference. “She needs to prepare the cakes for this weekend or we won’t have time to have the sweets prepared for luncheon on Saturday.”
“Then perhaps Simon could go to the market since Simon was the one who destroyed the eggs,” Priya offered.
“Send a child into the dangerous streets of Bombay?” Memsahib Parker asked, her hand flying to her chest in horror. “I do hope you are joking, Priya! You are applying to be an amah! Have you no care?”
Priya nearly opened her mouth to declare that she wasn’t joking and that is wasn’t fair for her mother to be punished for Simon’s actions, but her mother grabbed her arm to stop her.
“Of course she is kidding, aren’t you, Priya?” she said as she squeezed Priya’s arm in such a way that brooked no argument.
“Of course, Amma,” Priya said, dropping her head to her chest.
“When it comes to children, we must always be flexible, patient, and forgiving,” Amma said. “And I have taught Priya this too.”
Memsahib smiled with a sigh and nodded. “That is why you are the best amah we could have asked for,” she said. “And why I am so honored to help Priya get this position with Mrs. Evans. Won’t it be nice having Priya so close?”
“It is indeed a blessing,” Amma said, and Priya only nodded. She was grateful that she would be so near to her mother, even if she would hardly have a chance to see her again. The only time an amah had time for herself to visit friends or family or even do a bit of shopping was just one half-day a month. She knew that if she did get the position with the Evans family, she was going to miss her parents terribly, even if they were living only down the street.
They turned down a side path next to one of the largest houses on the street and went through a gate into the back garden. There, several British men and women were sitting and standing around talking and laughing. Over to one side near a well were several children playing with some kittens. Priya was horrified to see that one of the boys was holding a kitten precariously at the well’s edge, looking deep into the dark cavern.
“Please! Be careful!” Priya admonished the child, jutting away from her mother toward the boy.
“Priya!” Amma hissed, and Priya stopped in her tracks.
Priya looked around and noticed that everyone was watching her, as though waiting to see what she would do. She forced a smile to her face and calmed her voice.
“Sweet little one,” Priya said. “Please, be careful. We don’t want anyone to fall in.”
“I know what I’m doing!” the little boy barked back as he returned to looking over the edge.
Priya’s heart was beating so hard she could feel it in her nose as she heard the kitten whimpering. The mother cat was also pacing nervously nearby as she watched all her kittens in the hands of the children.
“There,” Memsahib Parker said. “Isn’t Priya so good with children, and animals?” She chuckled and the rest of the garden party guests did too.
Priya grimace and forced herself to turn away from the children. She knew that if she wanted to make a good impression, she needed to ignore any of their bad behavior today. But once she was their amah, treating animals with kindness was going to be a top lesson for her to impart to her young charges.
She was surprised at how many people were there. She had thought the tea would only be with Sahib and Memsahib Evans and their children. But they seemed to have invited all of their friends as well. Two of the British people walked over and greeted Memsahib Parker while the others all took their seats.
“Priya,” Memsahib Parker said, “this is Mr. and Mrs. Evans.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Priya said with a small curtsey.
“Excellent manners,” Memsahib Evans said to Memsahib Parker, as though Priya couldn’t hear her. “I was so worried about what it would be like having foreign staff. Would they have any manners at all? How would we communicate? I’m so glad to have a friend like you here to help us get settled.”
“The Company instituted British education years ago,” Priya said. “We all speak English.” She could almost feel her mother groan at her words.
The Evans looked at Priya as if she had insulted them, but Lucille spoke up.
“Priya’s mother has worked for my mother since before she was born,” she explained. “If you need someone in your household who knows how things are done and can help you with any aspect of life here in India, no one would be better for you than Priya.”
“So true!” Memsahib Parker said, patting her daughter on the arm and rushing in to diffuse the situation. “Any family who hires Priya will be getting so much more than an amah. Shall we sit down and discuss the placement further?”
“Oh, how rude of me!” Memsahib Evans said as she led them to some seats around a small table that was already laid out with tea and various small sweets and sandwiches. “Please, have a seat and some tea.”
Sahib Evans then went around and introduced the other couples to Memsahib Parker.
They were all relatively new to Bombay and in need of an amah. If the Evans did not take a liking to Priya, one of the other families was sure to. This was indeed an enviable position to be in. There was very little chance of Priya leaving this tea without a position. A notion that made Priya nervous, but she knew it made her mother glad. Priya did her best to bite her tongue and be on her best behavior so she could make her mother proud.
“I simply don’t know how you do it, Susan,” Memsahib Evans said to Memsahib Parker. “I have only been here a few days and am so out of my element I feel on the edge of tears at every moment. But to be here for years on end! To raise your children here! How do you do it?”
“One must simply grow where they are planted,” Memsahib Parker said sagely. “We are here in this strange and foreign land and must adapt.”
It is not strange or foreign to me, Priya thought but did not say.
“And we are so lucky to have the Company here,” Memsahib Parker went on. “They really can import anything you need. It just takes a bit of planning. You’ll see. After a few weeks, you’ll get used to the way things are here.”
“Oh, I don’t think I ever could get used to it,” Memsahib Evans said. “This heat is just unbearable. The smells are offensive! The way we were hustled and jostled about at the port, it was so crowded! It was terrifying. I almost got back on the ship and sailed for home right then!”
“She nearly did,” Sahib Evans said with a laugh, and the other men joined in.
“Women simply aren’t as well-suited for adventure,” one of the other men said.
If only they would just leave their dreadful wives at home then, Priya thought as she let her eyes wander back over the yard toward the children she would have to mind if she were given the position of amah.
She gasped as she saw the boy from earlier push a little girl. The little girl shoved him back, into the edge of the stone wall of the well. His hand flew up, knocking the kitten he had been playing with earlier down the shaft.
“Stop!” Priya yelled as she jumped up and ran across the yard.
“What is it?” Memsahib Evans cried out, jumping up. “The children!”
The other parents all began fussing as they followed behind Priya.
“Please, please, please,” Priya prayed as she pushed the boy aside. She hoped the kitten had landed in a bucket or on a stone sticking out of the side of the well. Maybe the well was dry and the kitten had landed safely. Anything.
“What’s wrong?” Sahib Evans asked, picking up his son who was now crying from being pushed.
“Priya!” her mother called. “What’s happening?”
“Be quiet!” Priya yelled over the noise. Her heart froze as she heard pitiful mewling and splashing from deep in the well. “Oh no! Hurry! Someone! Bring a bucket!”
“I’m sure there is nothing we can do,” one of the men said. “If you drop a bucket, it will only push the poor thing under the water.”
“Might be the merciful thing to do,” someone else said.
“Then bring a rope, a branch!” Priya said as she moved around the well, trying to get a better look down to see if there was any hope of rescuing the kitten. “A small log it can grab onto. Anything!”
“Priya,” her mother said, pulling her away from the well. “There’s nothing we can do.”
They all stood around helplessly as the mewling eventually stopped. The mother cat jumped up on the edge of the well and began pacing, meowing for her kitten.
“Well, that was a rather dreadful thing to happen,” said one of the men as he led his wife back to the seats.
The boy was still crying in Sahib Evans’s arms.
“Don’t worry, son,” Sahib Evans said. “We’ll get you another kitten. A better one.”
“Are you joking?” Priya spat. “You would reward that hideous behavior with another animal for your little monster to kill?”
“Priya!” Amma hissed, but Priya did not back down. She simply stared at Sahib Evans, his eyes wide in shock.
“The only monster here is you,” Memsahib Evans said as she took her son from her husband’s arms. “How dare you speak to your betters, your prospective employer, in such a manner!”
“You might be prospective employers,” Priya said. “But you are not my betters. I would never treat animals, or humans—” She shot Memsahib Parker a look. “—as badly as your children do.”
“Well!” Memsahib Evans said. “I think this interview is at an end.” With that, she turned on her heels and stomped out of the garden.
“Priya,” Amma said, shaking her arm. “Go home.”
Priya looked around at all the angry faces, especially that of Memsahib Parker. Even Lucille was shaking her head in disgust.
“I…I’m sorry, Amma—” she started to say, but she interrupted her.
“Now!”
Priya hated leaving her mother there to clean up the mess she had made, but she knew that she could not make things right. She turned and ran for home.
Chapter Three
“Have you lost your mind?” Priya’s father, her appa, bellowed that night when he got home. He had been with Sahib Parker all day, negotiating with some Indian merchants. But as soon as he arrived home, he had heard about Priya’s disastrous interview with the Evans. “It was one thing—even a noble thing—to try and rescue the kitten. But to insult the child? And insult the Evans’s parenting? What were you thinking?”
“I don’t know, Appa!” Priya bawled. “It was just so awful! Their children were so rude. And the kitten! You should have heard how pitiful—”
“I don’t want to hear about it,” Appa said. “You know what will be pitiful? The cries you make in the night over your starving belly because you can’t get a job. Did you think of that?”
“Of course…after…” Priya said. “That’s why I apologized.”
“Apologized,” Appa scoffed. “I know you did. To the Parkers. To the Evans. To the Evans children. But do you think Memsahib Evans will ever let you anywhere near her children? Or the other mothers who were there today? Not a single family will offer you a position now.”
Priya felt tears welling up in her eyes, but she was determined not to cry. Not yet. Not in front of her parents.
“You are lucky your amma and I even have jobs after that,” Appa continued to rail. “Do you know what your amma had to do to make sure we still had a roof over her head tonight? How she had to get down on her knees and beg forgiveness. How she had to take the blame as a poor and worthless mother.”
“She’s not!” Priya said as her shame was quickly replaced with a familiar anger. “She’s not a bad mother. Those memsahibs are bad mothers.”
“It doesn’t matter, Priya!” Appa yelled. “In this world, we do what we must to survive. If we didn’t have these jobs, there are a hundred, a thousand other people waiting to take our places. And now you are at the bottom of that list. It will take a natural disaster, a flood, an earthquake. A great death of all of our countrymen in order for you to ever have a chance at a job again.”
“Don’t say such things,” Amma finally said, stepping forward.
Appa ran his fingers through his hair and stepped away. “Ahhh. I know. I’m just…so angry. So disappointed. How could this happen?”
“Your daughter,” Amma said, looking at Priya with a tenderness that made Priya want to weep. “She is heart soft. She feels everything so deeply. So personally. It was as though she could feel the terror the kitten felt. She could see nothing else and lashed out in fear.”
Priya’s mouth gaped a little. She had thought she had lashed out in anger. Anger was her old friend. A feeling that burned inside her at almost every waking moment when she considered the unfair world she lived in. But not for the first time, her mother knew her even better than she knew herself. As she thought back to what had happened in the garden, she realized her mother was right. She had felt anger, yes, but there was a twinge of fear there as well. Not to mention heartbreak, for the kitten and
its mother. She had felt so many things, but fear was certainly there.
“She needs to toughen up,” Appa said. “Does she think life is going to be easier now?”
“I know it won’t be,” Priya dared to say. “I’m sorry, Appa. I don’t know what else to do or say.”
“Well, we better find out soon,” Appa said, crossing the room and plopping down on an old chair. He rubbed his face and let out a sigh. “What are any of us going to do? We don’t have the money for a dowry. You could marry, but any man who would have you would be so poor…I don’t want to imagine the difficult life you would have.”
Priya nodded and dared to move from the kneeling position she had been in for the last twenty minutes in front of her father to the more comfortable one of sitting on a nearby stool. Her father’s anger seemed to have cooled. He had moved from yelling to problem-solving. This was not the first crisis they had ever faced as a family. But they had always come through their problems together.
“But if she married a farmer,” Amma suggested, taking a seat in a nearby rocking chair, “at least then she would not go hungry.”
“Until the next drought or famine,” Appa said, shaking his head.
“Fine,” Amma said. “We will forego any attempt at a marriage, for now. But what about a job? What will she do now?”
“Finding her a placement here in Bombay…” Appa shook his head. “But maybe Goa, or Calcutta.”
“Calcutta is so far!” Priya wanted to cry. Calcutta was on the complete other side of the country. If she were sent there, she would probably never see her parents again. Even Goa was bad enough as far south as it was.
“We don’t have a lot of options,” Appa said. “The problem will still be introductions. We don’t know many people in either place.”
“If we wait a couple of weeks, Memsahib Parker might forget all about the incident and agree to write a letter of introduction for her,” Amma said. “We could use a placement agency to find openings.”