“Look.”
When I opened my eyes, I saw a familiar, stuffed rabbit in pink with two yellow blotches. Disbelief filled my voice, “Is this… how?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “After the carnival shut down that night, I jumped the fence and rummaged through the dumpsters of trash bags for two hours. Sorry about the mustard stains. They’re really hard to get out.”
“Why?” I touched the bunny’s nose, astounded he’d go through the effort.
“Because you,” he pushed a damp lock of hair from my face, “aren’t a disappointing existence.”
That moment became one of my prized memories, and the plushie became the third most sentimental present I ever received. I temporarily let them both go forgotten. More needed to be said, and I knew my forthcoming reveal could permanently wreck everything culminating between us.
The fear hadn’t subsided at all, but I refused to let it rule me. It couldn’t anymore if I wanted a fighting chance. I stared up at him and touched the worn material of his shirt with my right hand, sliding it up over the firmness of his chest and shoulders. My fingers locked behind his neck with the rabbit still in my left grip. I pushed myself up on my toes and started to get lost in my driving need, closing in on the space between us.
Our lips were fractions of an inch apart while his thumbs traced my cheeks down to my jaw. “What are you doing?” the depth of his voice broke the silence.
“Giving you the real Jade Nash. Not holding back, for the first time in over three years.” I studied the many layers of fear residing behind his eyes before he rested his forehead against mine.
His rough hands gave me a sense of protection when they found my waist and tugged me tight against him. “Are you sure the real Jade Nash wants this? Because…”
“Positive.” I lowered myself until my heels greeted the floor again. “But you need to see something first.”
His face trailed after mine in a cruel tease, our mouths like two magnets, no longer opposing but maintaining a consistent distance. “Can’t it wait? I’ve chickened out on kissing you twice already tonight.”
The veil of anticipation overwhelmed me, and I almost gave in, but I couldn’t ignore what needed to happen. My embarrassment left me unable to look him in the eye. “No, it can’t.” I slipped one arm through the sleeve of the robe. “I’m giving you a reason to stay, but I’m also giving you a reason to run.”
“I’m listening,” he said with steady calmness.
“Do you remember the ride to Ocean Shores?”
He nodded.
“You told me a story about rumor of a tally board and an initiation, but your ninety-ten rule didn’t tip to BS. The video Paige sent to everyone, it’s the reason why I don’t go to Steele Falls.”
After tying my hair into a low knot, I turned away to face the wall. It took four tries for my body to give in, letting my guard down along with the robe. I depressed my shoulders and allowed the upper half of terrycloth to fall around my waist while I covered my chest. The cinched knot in the sash prevented it from dropping to the floor. Ashamed, I stared at the ground and stilled.
“Doc…” Seth said.
“It’s part of me I can’t escape, my mistake I can’t undo.” The emotion in my voice cracked, bullying its way back in as hard as I tried to fight it off. “My dignity and seventy-four points got him into the club. I didn’t know about the tape until it was too late. But it’s not too late for you. If you want to run, I won’t hold it against you.”
I stood there with my eyes scrunched shut, both patiently impatient and terrified to turn and find he’d left again. The doorknob didn’t sound. Instead, I felt his fingers graze my low back, tracing over the tattoo outline while he spoke over my shoulder and into my ear, “I have no interest in condemning or questioning what you’ve been through.”
My head fell farther forward, and I swallowed the wail trying to free itself from my throat.
The heat of Seth’s palm rested against my low back and glided up my spine until it reached my neck. “Last night, out on the beach, someone important taught me something important.” I couldn’t bring myself to turn around, so he did it for me, tilting my chin upward until our eyes met. “Your past doesn’t define you, Jade. And I’m not running anywhere.”
He brushed away my tears with his thumbs, and I’d let him for as long as he wanted. Seth’s touch soothed my soul in a way no one else could. For the first time, I didn’t need to hang onto those salty reminders lingering on my skin. Letting go showed me what I wanted to hold on to most.
His eyes were gentle and assessing, silently asking for permission on behalf of his lips. I answered by freeing the old me, the girl who I’d hid under lock and key, finally allowing her to speak for herself. I was ready. The desire to finally be impulsive again drove me to my toes, any previous hesitation replaced by force. And our calm was shattered by the hunger of that first kiss.
He staggered backward at my sudden movement before catching both of us, his arms not missing a beat in wrapping around me. No matter how tight he held my body against him, it wasn’t enough. I craved more.
Our mouths parted briefly with heavy breaths as I moaned into him, “It’s my turn to ask. Are you sure the real Seth McCullough wants this?”
His response also didn’t require any words. For the second time that night, Seth swept me into his arms. But instead of taking me to the shower, he carried me upstairs.
My feet greeted the carpeted floor, and he stood in front of me. There’d be no more games of Chicken. That powerful energy I had trouble harnessing surged between us again, creating a ripple that started in my core and ended with an explosion through my chest. It was as though we both couldn’t breathe until our mouths reunited. Our initial kiss in the bedroom was slow, his lips descending to meet mine in a soft tease before he pulled back and skimmed over my facial features with his eyes.
My legs threatened to buckle beneath my frame and under the weight of his stare. In less than one week, we’d both experienced every emotion fathomable. All of it blurred into chaos. Yet somehow, those carefully layered sentiments provided me with a level of security and comfort I didn’t know possible.
Minimal light emitted from the overhead fixture in the hallway, but even through the thousand shields of gray, I saw the fiery longing behind Seth’s eyes. His hands cupped my face with fragile authority, his lips seizing mine in a raw act of possession. The inferno of heat we shared clothed my bare arms in goosebumps.
I grabbed his hand, our fingers interlacing as if they should’ve been woven together long ago. That simple, isolated connection was enough to quicken my pulse and leave my thoughts falling to pieces. I led him over to my bed and knelt on the comforter until I faced him, lifting his shirt up and over his head, tossing it across the room where it landed on the back of a chair.
His voice sounded husky, “Jade, I—”
I raised a finger to his lips and drank in his physique. His chiseled muscles were as impressive under the sole scrutiny of my fingertips in the shadows as they were below the harsh lighting in my office. My palms gripped his wrists, slowly sliding up his arms, skimming atop his shoulders and down his chest to his stomach, where my thumbs loitered before hooking over the elastic top of his athletic pants in an attempt to tug him closer. I let one hand inch its way lower, rubbing against the thrill of his arousal through the polyester.
Want eclipsed to need roiling through me. I drew a deep breath to slow myself down, afraid if I didn’t savor every moment, they’d all vanish.
Seth reached out and bracketed my waist with his hands, the pads of his fingers tracing the arcs of my hip bones through the robe. His lips grazed the hollow of my throat with warmth, searing a path to my neck and blazing my shoulder next. His head dipped lower, a flame of anticipation burning through me as the abrasiveness of his facial hair rubbed ag
ainst my chest before his tongue swirled and teased the peak of my left breast.
I reflexively arched my back and gasped for more as he moved to give the other equal attention. The sensation left me wanting to fall down all over again when he stood because his hand trailed past my stomach and between my thighs, flirting with my sensitive bundle of nerves.
Seth’s voice purred into my ear while two fingers slid inside me, each motion slow and deliberate. “Is something bothering you, Doc?”
“I’m… you’re… distracting me.” I rested my forehead against the front of his shoulder for a few seconds, desperately trying to focus through my fragmented breaths, failing as his speed increased.
“Good.” A playful smile crossed his face as he snaked his hands behind my thighs. He lifted and pulled hard, sending me to my back. Next, he sank to his knees.
“I don’t think so. Not tonight,” I panted and sat up, swiftly guiding him to his feet and onto the bed before pushing him onto his back. “You can have your fun tomorrow.”
“Did you just raincheck me?” He laughed.
“Tonight’s on my dime.”
He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at me. “Do I need to tarnish this rule, too?”
“I’d like to see you try.” I encouraged him to lift his hips so I could pull his pants free.
He didn’t argue.
I straddled his waist, my hips hovering over him while I pinned his wrists down on either side of his head. Blonde curls fell over my shoulders and draped our faces. Days of pent-up resentment, regret, and reconciliation poured into that following kiss, igniting us like a lit match being dropped onto gasoline. Seth pulled his right hand free and wound it through my hair. His mouth adhered to mine, the softness of his tongue begging for access I didn’t deny.
While I was under his spell, he stole control and freed his other hand, wrapping it around my waist, lifting his hips toward me.
But I didn’t give him what we both wanted— not yet. Once again, I grabbed his wrists and braced them above his head. “Rules.”
He jerked both hands out of my grip with a devious twinkle behind his eyes and a pop of his eyebrows. All of it just to prove he didn’t fully relinquish control.
I pursed my lips and reached for the sash on my robe, yanking it free from the loopholes. The remaining fabric puddled behind me and over his knees, forgotten.
He intently watched. “What are you doing?”
“Teaching you how to listen.” I fed the thin strip of material through one of the vertical slats of the headboard and wound a figure eight around his wrists with a simple knot.
He winked. “It must be working. Your audience is captivated.”
I twisted my long hair over my shoulder and kissed him chastely. My lips trailed down his neck and over his chest, the faint scent of his aftershave causing me to linger longer than intended. My nose nuzzled his skin, and I nipped at his stomach three times before I dared to go lower.
Seth let out a tormented groan of satisfaction, taut tension exhibited on his face and through his clenched fists while I heard the headboard creak against the resistance of his pull.
I paused and lifted my gaze to greet his. “Hands.”
His frame unwillingly sank back into the mattress, and I couldn’t help but notice his arms shaking.
“What’s the matter?” I rubbed my cheek along his thigh. “Crotch goblins got your tongue?”
“They’re about to get your tongue if you’re not more careful down there.”
I punished his wit with an encore.
“Please?” His breathing turned ragged, and he begged twice more. “Son of a twat… twister… something you said…”
“Safe sentence,” I hummed.
“You’re…” He grunted loudly, his hips fighting the need to buck against my mouth. “Safe… I can’t. Fuck.”
But I didn’t stop.
“If you keep doing that thing with your tongue… Seth McCullough,” the Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, “isn’t so bad.”
I immediately submitted to his request and allowed the heat of my flesh to skim along his as I leisurely made my way up to his face. When I spoke, my lips scarcely brushed his, “I made you say it. Soon, I’ll make you believe it.”
He pulled hard to free his hands from being bound. “And soon I’ll teach you to tie a proper knot.” Seth rolled us over until his frame moved on top of mine, settling between my legs as I welcomed him.
I cried out as his body found rhythm with mine, as if the last six days of hostility never existed. It didn’t matter how hard and fast his hips rocked against me; I ached for all of it. Desire and need overrode everything else. His eyes raked over my face, watching my reaction to his movements and the increased speed of his tempo. I wrapped my legs around him to hold on tighter and braced the headboard, my hand skimming past the sash from my robe. That motion invited a hot tide of passion to surge through us.
With the hardness of his body atop mine, I tried to throttle the dizzying current spiraling within me, but I couldn’t slow it down. “Seth!” My neck arched, burying my cheek hard into the pillow. The pleading whimpers, surrendering moans, and soul-drenching breaths escaping my lips told him everything he needed to know.
“Finish giving me the real Jade Nash,” his low voice commanded in my ear. “I want her.”
Those words, they were enough. That final swell of sweltering heat raced through my veins, marking me as his. I rode out my climax, the one that’d been building since the moment I’d laid eyes on him in the waiting room of The Triple C, his following shortly thereafter. Waves of ecstasy throbbed through me, and that one moment of physical desire left me exploding into a downpour of fiery sparks.
We laid there in a sweaty, tangled mess of limbs and racing heartbeats, trying to catch our breaths and our thoughts. “Do you want me to move?” I murmured lazily.
Seth’s arms tightened around me to give his answer. He ran his fingers through my hair, splaying the long tresses. “Earlier tonight, even with mud on your feet, your hair in tangles, and your face pale with mascara-smeared cheeks, you were, and still are, the most beautiful existence I’ve ever seen.”
Contentment and peace flowed between us. The sound of his calming heartbeat and even breathing as he drifted off to sleep left me fulfilled. For the first time, in a long time, I didn’t feel the need to slip out to the cove for a late-night swim.
The next day, I rolled over and stretched with a satisfied sigh before letting my limbs fall limply to the bed. Each muscle had fired from my fingers to my toes in complete relaxation. I breathed in fresh air and opened my eyes to sunlight streaming through the open window, last night’s rain a distant memory. The thin, cotton sheet rested against my low back while a gentle breeze billowed the sheer curtains in continual bursts. Post-rainstorm mornings were my favorite, but that one topped my retired lists for another reason. Calm filled me when I saw a purple t-shirt hanging over the corner of the chair.
Seth.
The past twenty-four hours poured through my head like a flash flood.
Wedding madness.
Rain on the beach.
So many words.
A bench.
His lips and hands claiming my body.
The truth.
But my contentment wavered when I noticed something missing. Where I should’ve felt his warmth next to me, I found cold blankets instead.
I sat up and gathered the comforter around my chest in a panic. “Seth?”
No answer.
Where is he this time? I shoved the blankets back and grabbed my robe, fumbling under the bed for the sash that’d fallen behind the headboard. The bathroom, the hall, the living room, and the entryway— all of them were empty.
I stopped to pick up the wrinkled napkin on the c
offee table. Nothing on it had changed. No miniature four. No additional cartoon equations. No new coffee stains. It sat in the same place he’d dropped it the night before when we’d kissed. That marked the… I’d lost count of how many times he’d disappeared. A little voice spoke with hushed whispers inside my head, arguing I wasn’t enough to anchor him in place.
As quickly as it sounded, that murmur quieted when my feet met the linoleum in the kitchen. I smelled coffee. When I read the screen, the timer beeped to signal the pot was ready. Two of Beatrice’s handmade mugs sat next to it. Not one. Two. I watched a few singular drops drip from the basket, creating circular ripples when they hit the chocolate-colored liquid below. He can’t be far.
Through the kitchen window, I saw two reassurances: his truck in my driveway and a thin, wavy line of steel gray smoke staining the blue sky near the picnic table on the beach. It had to be him. I filled both cups, padded down the steps, and hurried onto the main path leading to the shore.
The sun warmed my face when I reached the picturesque seascape with the glittering water and mild waves. The cove never looked so beautiful. My gaze panned right, and I saw Seth sitting on a flat piece of driftwood near the firepit. He wore his black athletic pants and no shirt with his arms resting atop his knees, staring out at the horizon.
Sand molded against my soles. I approached him from behind and stopped a few feet away with a smile. “Is this seat taken?”
Seth jumped and quickly wiped his face.
With two cautious steps, I studied his red eyes before handing him a coffee cup. More tears? Those were unexpected. “What’s going on?” I angled for subtle humor. “Was last night that bad?”
No laughter. Bouncing knee. Instead, he set the mug on a nearby rock and stood up to pace in front of the fire. Seth’s reply didn’t release easily. “I messed up everything.”
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