by Piper Rayne
No, really, my voice is all high pitches and pure whining.
But I can’t help it.
Just the thought of being forced to do things alone while they’re all paired up, and watching them kiss and touch…Sucksville. Big-time Sucksville, and I’m the damn mayor.
“You mean the kind of wheel that spins around and around, squeaking and constantly getting stuck so that your shins ram into the cart. While all the other wheels glide smoothly ahead. That kind of broken fifth wheel?” Colton asks with his eyebrows raised up and his free hand raking through his short hair.
“Yes. That kind. Asshole,” I say without an ounce of enthusiasm. “But I’m going to go, even if I’m miserable the entire time. Because I earned it, damn it.” I almost shout the words as we wait for a car to drive past through the stoplight so we can cross the street.
Colton just looks at me under the lights. He watches me while I complain. And after a moment, I start to wonder if there’s something on my face.
“What are you looking at?”
“Would you want me to go with you? Just so you don’t have to be alone?” Colton asks.
It’s an offer, not a ploy for a free ride—I know that. First of all, he’s damn generous. Secondly, he makes way more than me. And third, I just know him.
The shot of adrenaline that runs through me at his offer is real, and it’s fast and powerful.
We’re touching, so I don’t have much space to lead up to it. But I jump up onto him anyway.
Colton’s eyes bulge, and he almost misses me, but his hands grab my ass just before I start to worry that I’m going to eat the pavement. Then his arms are around me, and he’s spinning me in a circle while I look down at his perfect face.
“Would you really do that for me?” This time I do yell it.
“I may be bananas for suggesting it, but I meant it. Still do,” he assures me.
“I just know that you’d prefer a skiing or maybe a gambling vacation over a week at the beach. Plus, you don’t really want to be around the other four all sucking face any more than I do.” Honestly, I don’t know why I’m laying out all the reasons he shouldn’t go, because I’ll kill him if he backs out now.
But it just seems fair somehow.
“That is true,” Colton says as he sets me back down on my feet. Then he raises one hand and starts tapping the pad of his finger to his lips, like’s he reconsidering. “But since it’s basically a free trip, other than my airline ticket, why would I turn that down? Hello, free hotel room,” Colton says with a very straight face.
“Actually, I bought his plane ticket too, so I can probably just switch it into your name,” I admit.
Colton ignores my comment, even though I can just see the wheels turning and all the snotty comments about why on earth I’d want to pay for that asswipe’s entire getaway churning right on the tip of his tongue.
He keeps it to himself, probably knowing I can practically read his mind, and that must be good enough. Instead he blinks, then goes back to his stoic expression while we keep walking.
“I should never miss out on a vacation with you anyway. I was already regretting not joining this one,” Colton says. “Remember that time we drove from here to…”
“To Portland? Oh my god yes…It wasn’t worth the fuss. How the hell could I forget damn car breaking down on the way, that stupid old junker. And it was such a disappointment we didn’t even stay the night,” Colton says.
“Are you sure we drove from Minneapolis? I thought that was when we still lived in the dorms,” I counter.
Though, I don’t know why I do—his memory has always been better than mine.
“Hush up. I’m sure,” he says. “Anyway, what I mean is that—see—vacations together make for good stories if nothing else. Maybe I can even use it on my next first date when we get back.”
Then we’re to our building, the lobby lit up against the dark backdrop of the brick façade. Seeing how dark it is, the shadows stretching across the sidewalk and right up to where the doors start—suddenly the time starts to hit me.
“It’s been a day,” I say as we get into the elevator.
“Get some sleep, Ev,” Colton says as he wraps his arms around my neck and squeezes me in a hug. His cologne envelops me as his shirt practically wraps around my face. It’s a spicy smell, with a hint of something woodsy. Very manly, whatever that means.
The elevator gets to our floor, the doors banging open as I detangle myself from his grasp. The hallway doesn’t smell nearly as good as Colton, and for half a second, I’m tempted to go back to him.
But then my eyelids droop a bit too long after a blink.
He’s right.
Not that I’ll say that out loud.
“Do you know how long the flight will be?” Colton asks, way more apprehensive that I expect. Then it hits.
“I’ll buy you drinks in the airport bar before we even take off. I’ll get you real drunk.” I can’t believe I forgot how scared of flying he is. I say it as we start walking in different directions. We’re on opposite sides of the building. But at least we’re on the same floor this time.
“Deal,” Colton shouts toward me as he unlocks his front door.
“Sleep tight,” I say as I hang around my door frame, watching like I always do until he’s gone, just before closing my own front door for the night.
Once it’s locked, it takes me all of four minutes to strip, brush my teeth, and wiggle between the covers. But just as I pull my comforter up to my chin, my phone lights up silently on the nightstand.
I could ignore it, but I already know I don’t want to.
* * *
ColtColt: Would you rather give the best blow jobs in the history of the universe, so that you could basically be with anyone you want forever. Or would you rather get the best head yourself—except the guy was chosen for you?
Me: I hate this one.
ColtColt: Don’t care. Which?
Me: The second, depending on who gets to do the picking
ColtColt: My kind of answer.
5
Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Okay this story is A MOOD. And a half.
1/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
And it’s gonna be a long one, so buckle up for the long ass ride. And maybe exercise your thumb for all the scrolling you’re about to do.
2/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
That is…all four of you who follow me.
3/?
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* * *
Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Speaking of—Hi, Mom! Probably don’t keep reading, it won’t be juicy at all, and I don’t want to hear about how boring you still think I am. But the rest of you feel free. I’ll be testing you on all of this later.
4/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Good news: we landed in Hawaii almost three hours ago (YAY!)
5/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Bad news: Colt and I only JUST got to the hotel.
6/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Why, you ask? That’s a great question. But be careful what you wish for. It makes little sense, and will probably stray from the point.
7/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Anyway, apparently neon pink (and glittery might I add) luggage with HOLOGRAPHIC trim is the easiest kind to lose.
8/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Since that’s exactly what happened. The airline lost my luggage. Sort of. For a while anyway.
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* * *
Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Side note: I thought that was why they put those little scanny things on them now—so this didn’t happen anymore.
10/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Am I crazy or aren’t those barcodes for tracking?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
And seriously, since we’re talking about the airport, what am I going to hide in my open-toed sandals?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Why can’t I just leave them on. They’re not boots or anything. And putting my bare feet on that floor…barf.
13/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Wait, where was I going with this?
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Emma @@AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Oh. Okay. Yes. My beautiful luggage. With all of my pretty swim suits and my journal. What if someone read that? I’d die. Just die.
15/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Because I write a lot of embarrassing stuff in there—if that wasn’t clear already. Like…really embarrassing.
16/?
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* * *
Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Okay, moving on.
Again.
17/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
So Colt and Char and Claire (and their men) and I were standing at the baggage spinning thing. What are those called?
18/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Merry-go-rounds?
19/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Oh! Carousels, yes. Baggage carousels. That’s where we were standing. And waiting.
And waiting.
20/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
All five of them found their bags right away. Of course, I was last. And the thing kept spinning and boring black bags kept coming out.
21/?
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* * *
Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Until they stopped. And it stopped. And literally everyone else had left with a bag. But my beauty never showed.
22/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
When I started freaking out, guess who tried to cheer me up with his classic ill-timed jokes that no one thinks are funny but him.
23/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Sorry, Colt. But it’s true. I’ve kept it from you for years. For far too long. But you’re just not that funny.
24/?
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* * *
Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
He offered to lend me his clothes for the whole trip.
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
And just the thought of wearing his old boxers to bed started giving me nervous hives.
26/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Then, the smartass suggested I just go full nudist the whole time.
27/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
That’s when I started to hyperventilate.
Or maybe I was crying.
I can’t remember very clearly. I think I may have blacked out.
28/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
But even though he’s a giant pain in the ass, Colton also saved the day.
Just don’t go telling him that. His ego is already big enough.
29/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Dude sat me down on a bench with a double shot mocha, something to read, and told me to breathe while he did whatever he was going to do.
30/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
I just sat there like a lump of uselessness as he bothered employee after employee.
31/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
Of course, he made them all laugh, pointing toward a very clearly stressed out me and saying things I never want to know about.
32/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
And, the fucker, he found it!
My bag!
Colton found my precious pink bag with all of my clothes and my diary!
33/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
I mean journal. I’m too old for a diary. It’s definitely a journal. I repeat. My journal.
34/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
I guess my bag ended up on another carousel. Which I might have figured out if I didn’t go into panic mode immediately, like the weirdo I am.
35/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
To be fair it was ten carousels down from where it was supposed to be, and around the corner. So I’m giving myself a pass.
36/?
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* * *
Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
So we finally got to head to the hotel, thanks to my hero.
37/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
He made me say that ^
38/?
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Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
And you better believe we’ve got a pitcher of margaritas in front of us right now as a reward for all the hard work already.
39/?
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* * *
Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
So I guess all of the hot guys on the beach will have to work harder to see some T and A. My bikinis were safely inside.
40/40
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Colton @TheOneAndOnlyColton
Too late. I’ve seen you naked a hundred times.
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s
* * *
Emma @AlmostSpelledTheSameWayBackwards
OMG. Shut up! No you haven’t.
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6
“If you say one more word, I’m going to leave your ass buried in the sand like this forever. Let the tide come get you,” Claire says with a finger pointed at Tom’s face.
“Oh, I’ll say it again. I’ll say it all day.” Tom tries to swerve his head with sass, but considering that’s all that’s above the sand, it’s pretty much impossible not to laugh as how ridiculous his attempt looks. I have to hide my face in Charli’s shoulder to keep from shaking and letting out all the giggles and snorts.
Claire puts the hand that was wagging directions at her boyfriend onto her hip as she juts it out. And in her one-piece cut-out—which shows more skin than my two-piece, I should add—huge sunglasses, low up-do, and oiled skin, she looks the picture of fierce. Movie-star-with-a-bodyguard kind of fierce.
But when she takes a huge gulp of her Sex on the Beach and then holds it over Tom’s head like she’s going to dump the rest of it on him, that’s when I lose it.
“I dare you,” Claire says low and slow.