by K. G. Reuss
I’d let my lust and desire make my decisions. I’d really screwed this up.
“I won’t say a word, Rosalie.” I was acutely aware of how he was still buried deep within me. “I promise.”
“What’s the catch?” My voice shook. There was always a catch.
“There is none. You have my word.” He kissed my palm, his dark eyes locked on mine.
“You won’t tell Ian?” My voice shook.
“Never,” he murmured, kissing my fingertips. His gaze roamed from mine, and I swallowed hard as he reached out and brushed his fingers against the dull purple bruises on my neck. He said nothing as he crinkled his brows.
“I’ll never say a word,” he whispered again.
I searched him and found there wasn’t an ounce of dishonesty on his face. Feeling slightly more satisfied, I shifted off him and sat on the edge of the bed. Wordlessly, he got to his feet and disappeared into his bathroom. Taking the opportunity, I quickly put my bra and shirt back on, already worried he’d seen the damage on my ribs from Ian. He returned before I had my panties on, his dick free of the condom. I averted my eyes from his equipment as he approached me.
“Lie back,” he murmured, giving me a gentle shove.
I went onto my back, and he pushed my legs apart. His eyes darkened as he took in the bruises. With trembling hands, he swept a warm washcloth up my tender center before leaning down and pressing his lips to the sore area. He saw the evidence of what Ian had done to me, but he didn’t say anything.
“You’re beautiful, Sunshine,” he whispered, his gaze locked on mine from between my legs as I bit my bottom lip, worry coursing through me. “Don’t worry.”
He moved away and helped me to sit up. I didn’t say a word as I pulled the remainder of my clothes on. Enzo did the same. When we were both fully dressed, he sat beside me and reached out and thumbed my bottom lip until I released it from my teeth. He cupped my cheek and gave me a sweet smile.
“Ask me what you want to know.”
Trying to get past what we’d just done was difficult, but Ethan was more important than another one of my fuck ups. “What’s wrong with Ethan? Is he sick?” My voice was hoarse and shaky.
“He is, but not in the way you think. Ethan has a rough past. I don’t want to tell you about it since it’s his story, not mine, but he’s under a lot of stress. It’s made him slip into some of his old ways.”
“Drugs,” I said softly.
Enzo nodded and dropped his hand from my face. “He was doing good for so long. He only hit weed every now and then. Then all this shit happened. He’s not handling it well. We’ll get him better. We’ve done it before.”
“I’m scared.”
“I am too. But I know him. He’s trying. He just needs time.”
I nodded. “Is it my fault?”
“No, Sunshine. He’s haunted by his own demons.”
“But he was fine before all this.” I gestured around, tears stinging my eyes.
Enzo looked down at his hands and sighed. “Don’t blame yourself. Ethan was happiest when you were with us. He’s just going through some shit. Breakups are hard.” He looked up and gave me a sad smile.
His phone rang before I could say anything. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked down at the screen, Juliet’s name on it. He sighed and denied the call.
“I should go.” I got to my feet and winced. I was definitely sore.
Enzo grabbed my hand, a sad look blanketing his face. “I’ll drive you home.”
I nodded and followed him out to the car. Once again, he opened my door for me and made sure I was safely inside before shutting me in and climbing behind the wheel.
We rode in silence to my house, his hands tight on the wheel. When I cast a glance at him, I noticed a muscle thrumming along his jaw. His brow was furrowed.
What’s wrong with him? Is he really that upset about Ethan? Or is it what we did together? Is he going to tell? Oh god. What if he recorded it? But he didn’t have his phone out. In fact, it was in his pocket on the floor after we stripped naked.
He pulled into my yard and put the car in park. The thoughts rolling around in my head were shoved to the side as we both sat. We were silent for a beat before he spoke.
“I miss you, Sunshine.”
“Yeah, well, Juliet seems to be keeping you busy. You’ll forget about me soon enough.” My words were laced with sadness.
He reached over and wrapped his arms around me a in fierce hug. “I’ll never forget about you. You’re my first love. My last love. We’ll be together again.”
Tears burned my eyes at his words. I pushed away from him and opened the door. The guys sure knew how to play this game. I’d have asked for pointers if I thought it wouldn’t show my weakness.
Enzo didn’t try to stop me from getting out, and I didn’t turn around as I closed the door and stepped into the sunshine.
Thirteen
“Did you fuck him?” Ian seethed at me as I sat on his bed the next day. I couldn’t get Ethan and Enzo out of my head. I hadn’t heard from either one of them since Enzo had dropped me off at home.
“No.”
“Lying bitch,” Ian roared, lunging forward and pushing me onto my back. He hovered over me, his mouth twisted into an angry frown. “Don’t fucking lie to me.”
“I didn’t fuck Ethan, Ian. I swear it,” I whispered. omitting everything about Enzo. “I-I didn’t do anything with Ethan. He didn’t even try.”
Ian glared down at me. I thought he was going to hit me, but instead he let out deep breath and rested his forehead against mine.
“I believe you. You’d be a fucking idiot to go behind my back.”
A breath of relief escaped my lips, but that relief was soon replaced by fear of the monster hovering over me.
“Just don’t fucking embarrass me like that again. Do you know how it looked to have my girlfriend running off to take care of her ex?”
“I’m sorry.” It was a lie. Remorse was the last thing I felt for going to Ethan, and I certainly didn’t give a shit how it made Ian feel.
He kissed me, his hands moving beneath my shirt.
“Ian,” I managed to say between his kisses.
“Mm?”
“I have to work on memorizing my lines for the musical.”
“Fuck the musical. You’re not in it.”
I shoved at him, anger taking over.
He frowned down at me. “What?”
“This is something I want, Ian. I need it. I’m trying to get into Mayfair. They’re going to have college reps at the show.”
“Are you majoring in music? I thought you were going to be a doctor or some shit.”
“I want a career in music. Please. Don’t ruin this for me. It’s my dream.”
His frown deepened as he stared down at me. “I don’t want you around Evans.”
“Ian, I want nothing more than to bring him down. You don’t have to even concern yourself with what he wants.”
“Prove it.”
“What?”
“Show me how much you want it. Prove you’re mine.”
I tried not to spit in his face as he kissed along my jaw. While Ian hadn’t tried to actually fuck me, he’d hinted that was his goal. Today would be just another time he wouldn’t get his way, but I was willing to do anything besides that to get him off my case.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Surprise me,” he answered, nipping at my ear lobe.
I knew where this was going, but there was no way I was going to have sex with him. Instead, I pulled his face back to mine and kissed him like I meant it, thinking about Enzo the entire time.
It helped substantially.
Envisioning Enzo’s hands on me, his tongue against mine, the way he thrust his dick deep into my body had me pawing at Ian. Ian returned my affections in full force, his hands squeezing my breasts, his tongue in my mouth. I reached down, trying to keep the image of Enzo forefront in my mind, and unbuttoned Ian’s pa
nts and pushed them down his hips.
I sat up, our mouths never parting, and managed to get on top. I yanked my shirt off and straddled his waist.
“Fuck,” he growled. If playing this ugly role kept Ian off my ass for any amount of time, I’d do what I could without spreading my legs for him.
He let out a breath, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as I stared down at him. He cupped my lace covered breasts, his lips parted. I kept imagining it was Enzo. His hands. His breathing.
I moved farther down Ian’s body and tugged his boxers down. He went up on his elbows, his eyes wide, as I took his length in my hand. I hated I was doing this. But survival was the name of the game with Ian, and I had to live. With my eyes locked on his, I sucked him into my mouth. A first for us.
“Fucking hell,” he moaned out as I licked and sucked on him. He thrust his hips up to meet my mouth, hitting the back of my throat with each movement.
I gripped his thighs, letting him do what made him feel good, the whole time picturing Enzo being in my mouth. It made the entire thing bearable.
Ian wrapped his hand around my hair and pushed my head down faster. I opened wider for him, just wanting to get this over with. A burst of hot liquid splashed on my tongue moments later as he moaned loudly, his cock twitching.
I swallowed quickly and pulled away, watching as he flopped on his back, his breathing deep.
“Come here,” he commanded in a raspy voice.
I crawled back up to him, and he pulled me down to his side.
“Lie with me.”
We lay in silence.
“You did that on your own.”
“I really want to be in the musical,” I answered back, not completely truthful with him. I wanted so much more than the musical. Not to being murdered was one of the things I really wanted.
“Fine. Just don’t fuck up.”
I knew there was a chance he’d lie, but I was over the moon at his response. For the most part, he’d been keeping his word to me. It didn’t bring forth any warm, fuzzy feelings for the monster, but it gave me peace. It was the best I could ask for given my current circumstances.
He tightened his hold on me, his eyes closed.
“Can I get dressed?”
“No,” he murmured.
I didn’t argue. I lay against him in my bra and jeans, our skin touching.
“My dad gets out soon,” he said softly.
“I know.”
“I’m going to go meet him at the prison. We’re going to dinner.” He let out a dry laugh. I didn’t say anything as he continued, “My mom is pissed I’m going, but he’s my dad, you know?”
This was the Ian I remembered. Just a guy talking and not beating the shit out of me. Speaking to me like we were friends.
“You have to do what feels right for you, Ian. Doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks. Maybe seeing your dad will help.” I had no idea why I was trying to counsel the lunatic, but there I was, being his damn friend when he only deserved my hatred.
“I don’t need help with anything. I have everything I’ve ever wanted right now.”
“But what about later? Don’t you want more?”
“No.” He didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t ask. It was probably the best conversation we’d had since all this shit started. It didn’t make me love him or even like him, but at least I could see a shred of humanity in the monster.
Against my better judgement, I fell asleep beside him, all sorts of wild ideas racing through my head. Having Enzo buried inside me was a hard image to get out of my head. The thought of him doing the same with Juliet made nausea twist my guts, making bile burn my throat. Then seeing Ethan broken hurt even more. Every thought in my head circled around the horsemen and how I could break apart their circle to take what was mine. It would ruin their friendships. I’d fucked Enzo. If the guys found out, I was sure it would be a blow to their egos. And Juliet. I was going to bring that bitch to her knees.
There wasn’t a downside to any of it.
And even if there was, I was still in because maybe I was a lot more like Cole than I cared to admit. Maybe I liked the torment too.
Fourteen
When classes rolled around the following Monday, I followed my routine like always. Ian wasn’t there, which made me ecstatic. He said he had something to do, but he didn’t elaborate. And I didn’t push because I simply didn’t give a shit.
Jamie and I kept our distance, opting to text instead. Deciding to check out the backstage area to see if they’d started working on painting the set for the musical, I skipped lunch and made my way there. No one was in the auditorium, which didn’t surprise me. I was looking down at a box of props when someone punched the wooden set wall next to my head. I let out a yelp and jumped away, worried Ian had come back.
But it wasn’t him. It was Fox, and he looked pissed.
“What the fuck is this shit?” he spat at me, holding his phone out.
The blood rushed from my face as I took in the image of me shirtless, sleeping beside Ian in his bedroom. That bastard had taken the photo while I was out and sent it to Fox. But really, he’d done me a favor.
“You’re seriously fucking this guy? I thought you were just teasing us, trying to torment me. I didn’t know you were actually doing this shit!” Fox punched the wall again, his face red. I’d never seen him look so pissed. “What the fuck, Rosalie!”
I didn’t back away from him. No, I approached him, our bodies so close they nearly touched, and glared up at him as his chest heaved in and out with his heavy, angry breathing.
“You’re fucking Juliet. I’m free. I can do whatever the hell I want, Fox. How does it feel? It hurts, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” he choked out. His body trembled. “How could you, Rosie? You know who he is. Who his family is.” His voice cracked as he stared down at me. “He tried to hurt you. Did I push you into this? Do you really hate me this much?”
“I could ask you the same question,” I murmured. “You cheated on me with my enemy. Juliet told me everything.”
Fox snorted. “I doubt she told you everything.”
“You lied to me. You tricked me. Used me for your own amusement, as a game. You broke my heart, Fox, when all I ever did was love you. I loved you even when you hated me. But you?” I shook my head sadly. “You took my heart and played a dangerous game with it. Everything I’ve done, you deserved. I’m not finished. Not by a long shot. By the time this is over, I’ll have taken everything from you. I’ll have ripped apart everything you ever loved because that’s what you did to me.”
“I’m begging you to stop before you destroy everything, Rosalie. Please, baby. Please. Come back to me. It’s not too late.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I won’t hurt you. I fucking swear it. Please. Trust me.”
“You already did. Besides, I don’t want to share you, Fox, and I-I love—” The words were bitter on my tongue and a complete lie, but I said them with such ferocity, he paled.
“Don’t you dare fucking say Ian Hall, Rosalie.” His body quaked with fury as he glared down at me, a sheen of tears in his eyes. “Please let that bullshit go. Give me the chance to tell you everything. I just need you to listen, Rosie.”
I stared up at him, my heart breaking. Before I could say another word, his lips crashed against mine, stealing the breath from my lungs. So many emotions fired off in my head, I couldn’t think straight.
He wrapped his strong arms around me and held me tight as he kissed me.
“Fox, no,” I managed to say around his fierce kiss.
“Yes,” he growled back, kissing me again. “You’re my girl. You always were. I’m not letting you go. You can’t make me.”
I pulled away, breathless, as he cradled my face. “Watch me.”
“Don’t do this,” he whispered again, peppering my lips with kisses. “What does he have on you, Rosalie? Tell me so I can fix it. This isn’t you.”
“I need to go.”
“No
.” His bottom lip shook as he pulled away and looked down at me. “Please. Stay.”
I peered up at him, my resolve faltering. Ethan was in trouble. Enzo and I had fucked over the weekend. Cole had cornered me in the bathroom. They were each trying to steal back pieces of me. And I wanted to say yes, god help me, I did. It could end a lot of problems but would start a whole slew of new ones.
I opened my mouth, all my heartache bubbling to the surface. I was so tired of hurting. I was ready to declare a loss and let the chips fall where they may. If it meant letting go, so be it. Maybe the guys could help me with the Ian issue. Hope sprung up in my heart.
But could I forgive them?
Fox’s breath caught as he stared down at me, like he knew I was ready to come back to whatever fucked up mess I’d go into. Maybe he’d leave Juliet. Maybe he’d be mine for good. I could have my guys back and be happy again. I could get rid of Ian and let whatever shit storm he had planned happen.
“Fox,” I whispered. “I …”
“Yes, baby?”
“I want y—”
“Fox?” Juliet called out.
He stiffened. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.
“What are you doing?” She sashayed closer, her eyes narrowed. He dropped his hands and took a step back.
“I hope your answer isn’t what I think it is. You know what that could mean…”
He closed his eyes for a moment as I reached out for his hand. He took another step back. My heart shattered at my feet as he shook his head at me, sadness morphing over him.
“There’s nothing going on. We were talking.”
And just like, my hatred was back in full force.
“I want Ethan. Where is he?” Juliet twined her arm through Fox’s as he tried to lock gazes with me.
I looked away, not falling for his shit.
“I don’t know. Probably on the bleachers,” Fox answered in a monotone.
“I miss him,” she pouted. “He said he’d come over last time, but he didn’t.”