“Do you want to get out of the house for a while?” Ben asked.
Kaitlyn held the rinsed-out garbage can in her hands, looking bewildered. What was he going to do to her?
“Is everything okay? Did I say something wrong?” he asked.
She could tell he seemed concerned, not like someone who wanted to hurt her. She slowly shook her head and swallowed. “No, it’s just… I mean are you sure you’re up to it?” She nodded her head toward his leg.
“I feel fine. Pain pill is working well,” he smiled. “I don’t feel a thing,” he chuckled.
At least one of us isn’t, she thought. “Okay, but only if you’re sure.”
“Yes, I would like to see the town we live in. Maybe it’ll trigger a memory from my past.”
Kaitlyn smiled, but inside she was fearful. She didn’t want him to remember and be who he was. “Let me freshen up a bit before we go.”
“Of course, and I’ll find a spray to eliminate the odor,” he said, smiling back at her.
Kaitlyn walked to the bathroom in their bedroom and brushed her teeth, then changed her shirt. She was moving fast, afraid that Ben would yell at her for making him wait for her.
Once she was done, she helped him into the car. They drove down Broad Street then turned onto Meadows Drive. She wasn’t driving to anywhere in particular, just around the block and through the local business area. She stopped at a stop sign across from the church they had been married in. She looked over at Ben, who was looking past her.
“That church beside us.”
She swallowed. He remembered?
“I’ve seen that church before.”
“You have?”
“Yes, but I can’t recall why.”
“It was the church we were married in four years ago.”
Ben shook his head. “No, I don’t recall that part. It’s something else.”
Her heart ached from what he said. She didn’t know why it made her feel sad inside. This was a man she despised for abusing her. Why would she feel hurt by his words? Why would she even care that he didn’t remember that day? She set aside her thoughts and asked, “What do you remember?”
“I was almost in an accident at this intersection. I can’t recall when, but I do remember driving off in a hurry.”
36
“So, if he isn’t my son, then who is he? And where’s Adam?” Rose questioned.
Leah looked from Rose to Dr. Amal, hoping against all hope that Dr. Amal would take the lead, but he just stood there. She could see the tension in his jaw as the muscles pulsated beneath the five o’clock shadow that was already appearing. He was pissed, but she knew that he wouldn’t show it in front of Mrs. Tucker. No, he’d wait until they were alone and scream at her for making such a fucking mess of everything when she should’ve left well enough alone.
Leah swallowed, holding the panic out of her voice. “I’m not sure who he is, Mrs. Tucker. I’m so sorry for the mix-up. I mean they look so much alike from the picture you showed me.”
“Some resemblance, but clearly not enough to make me believe it’s Adam. And you have proof now because the blood type shows O positive not AB negative.”
Leah was flabbergasted when she saw that the blood type was different. It took her over five minutes before she came back into the room to tell both Dr. Amal and Mrs. Tucker that he wasn’t her son. Leah wanted to run out of the hospital and hide from her horrible mistake, but how was she to know that he wasn’t her son? She saw the photo and assumed that he was because of the similarities of the two men. Never assume, her father had always told her. And yet, that was exactly what she did. She couldn’t feel any less irresponsible for making this mistake and she prayed that she wouldn’t lose her job. She loved it here, but maybe it was for the best if that’s what it came down to, but she hoped not. She’d probably go live with her mother in Naples, Florida and find a job down there.
“Who should I talk to about my son missing? If he wasn’t in the accident, then where is he?” Rose asked.
“I will call the authorities and have someone come here and help you with this problem,” Dr. Amal replied. “I’m sure he’s out there, maybe on a vacation or something. He could have told you and you don’t remember?”
“No, school just started. He’s a teacher. He wouldn’t miss work when school started weeks ago,” Rose insisted.
Leah could see that Rose looked flushed and offered her a chair. “Please sit down and I will call the Franklin Police Department.”
“No, I want to deal with the Edon Police Department. That’s where we’re from and they know Adam. They know who we are and can help.”
Leah nodded and left the room. She fought hard to keep the tears at bay, but once she was out of the room they came flooding out. Each time she wiped them away more came sliding down her face. She didn’t want or need anyone asking what was wrong with her. She had done this all by herself. Why didn’t she just leave the man for others to take care of? Well, she knew why. She cared too much for people and had to always take things under her wing and try to take care of them. Who did she think she was trying to be, God, like the other nurse had told her a couple of days ago?
She sat down in the chair in front of the computer and Googled the Edon Police Department. When the site came up, she dialed the phone number. She prayed that they wouldn’t transfer her to Officer Woods. The thought made her shiver in her seat as images of the other day came crashing back to her.
Two rings later a woman answered. “Hello, Edon Police Department, how may I direct your call?”
“Yes, hi, I need to speak to someone about a missing person.”
“Hold one second, please.”
Soft violin music played through the receiver as she waited for someone to pick up. She sat back in the chair, her thoughts dazed as she replayed the last thirty minutes.
“Hello, this is Officer Moore. How can I help you?”
Leah snapped forward in her seat. “Hi, I have a missing person to report.”
“What’s the person’s name?”
“Adam Tucker. He lives in Edon and his mother Rose is looking for him.”
“Adam is missing?”
“Yes, apparently so. Wait, you know who I’m talking about?”
“Yes. Adam is well known throughout Edon. When was the last time he was seen?” Moore asked.
“The accident last Friday. The ten-car pile-up,” Leah replied.
“Where is Rose now? I can come to her.”
“We’re at Franklin Hospital, fifth floor, room # 501.”
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, give or take. Tell Rose I’m coming,” Moore said before disconnecting the call.
Leah hung up the phone and used the restroom before returning to the room Rose was waiting in. Leah felt relieved when she saw that Dr. Amal was nowhere in sight. Thank you, God, she said to herself. But she knew that there were going to be repercussions for what had occurred in this room today. Dr. Amal had told her to leave it alone, but she didn’t and now she was paying for it. “I’m so sorry for the misunderstanding, here today. I didn’t mean to cause you any heartache.”
“I know, my dear, and I thought about what may have gone through your head at that moment when you saw the photograph. Dr. Amal said that you have been trying to locate the family for this poor poor man,” Rose shook her head. “That’s such a nice thing for you to do.”
Leah was shocked that Dr. Amal had said anything about what she had been doing. He seemed so cold and heartless, but she wouldn’t let herself get soft for the guy. She knew how quickly he could change and just because he said nice things to this woman Rose, didn’t mean he would when they had their meeting, which she knew would come.
Twenty minutes later, Woods and Moore showed up at the hospital. Woods was the first to walk into the room, making Leah jump where she stood. Her heart hammered in her chest. What is he doing here? Why did they have to send him? she thought.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to
frighten you the other day,” Woods said, walking toward Leah.
Leah stood at the edge of the bed, her eyes sketching over him, but before she could say anything, Moore stepped through the door and their eyes met.
37
Eleven Years Ago
Leah James sat at the kitchen table reading a piece of paper—a folded piece of paper she had found hidden inside her father’s dresser drawer when she went looking for a certain t-shirt of his to wear. He never minded that she wore his shirts, in fact, he loved it when she did. He said it made him feel closer to her even though she was the one wearing the shirt. Though, he had always been the one to get the shirt for her. Now she knew why.
An hour had passed, yet she didn’t move from the chair in the kitchen. She sat as if she were slapped in the face or punched in the gut.
Adoption papers.
She had been adopted and they had never told her. Her parents of sixteen years had never mentioned once that she wasn’t theirs and it broke her heart. No, it shattered her heart. She didn’t know who they were anymore. Two people that raised her since birth and now she felt like a stranger. She had wondered why they were so much older than most of the other parents of friends her age. How was she supposed to act around them now? How was she supposed to still love them as her parents? This couldn’t be happening to her. Her life was perfect in every way, until now.
In the next room, she heard the front door open and then close. The wooden floorboards creaked under the heavy boots that moved toward the kitchen where she sat.
“Pumpkin,” her father said when he appeared in the doorway.
But he wasn’t her father, was he? She looked up and into his face. His eyes sparkled back at her; a smile spread across his face, but changed when she didn’t respond. What would she say to him? How could she sit here and pretend that everything was true and real between them? She couldn’t. She wasn’t the type of girl to let things be. She had to know why they were the way they were. She had to know who she really was and where she came from. If she wasn’t their daughter, then whose daughter was she?
“Is everything okay? Are you all right?” he asked.
His words registered in her head. Of course, she wanted to be okay, but she wasn’t. Without saying a word, she slid the piece of paper across the table. He didn’t reach for it. It was as if he knew what it was without reading it. The big bold words stared back at him.
She watched the expression on his face crumple in front of her. This was all too much. Now she knew why she didn’t look exactly like them in the family pictures. Her friend Loretta had said that she didn’t look like anyone in her family either, but Leah knew she’d said that just to make her feel better.
“Leah,” her father said as he placed his large hand on the table and sat down across from her. “Your mother and I were going to tell you.”
“When?” Leah’s voice croaked. Tears threatened to escape.
“When you turned eighteen. That way if you wanted to find her, you could.”
“Find her? She gave me up! Why would I look for her?” But Leah didn’t know for sure what had happened the day she was born—why her real mother gave her up and didn’t want her. Though she had already thought about looking for her real mother the moment she read that she was adopted. She couldn’t imagine why she wanted to find her, but she did. Who would give up their baby? And why? What did she do that was so bad? Leah had so many questions, but no answers. Leah wouldn’t rest until she found the answers.
“Your mother and I—well, we couldn’t have any children of our own. Your mother’s sister, who works for the state, suggested that we adopt. She knew people that worked in children’s services. So, one day we called and scheduled an appointment. Three months later, we had you,” he said with a smile on his face. “You were the most beautiful baby that I had ever laid my eyes on,” he whispered as tears streamed down his face and disappeared in his graying black beard.
Leah wiped away the tears that cascaded down her cheeks. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“We were afraid of losing you,” he said as his eyes grew sadder.
“Losing me? How could you lose me? I’m your daughter, but I deserve not to be lied to by my own parents.” She raised her voice, which she knew better than to do.
He nodded. “I know, Pumpkin, and I’m sorry that we did. Please forgive me. Forgive us for keeping such a secret from you,” he pleaded, tears leaking from his eyes.
She had never seen him cry before. Why did she do this to him? Leah stood and walked over to him. Although she was sixteen years old, she still loved to sit on his lap as if she were a child. “Oh, Daddy,” she said. “I’m not angry with you or Momma. I’m just hurt that you couldn’t tell me the truth.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry, Pumpkin.” He squeezed her into his chest.
She loved it when he called her Pumpkin. They had a bond the moment she laid eyes on him. She would do anything thing for him. “What do I do now? Do I look for her or pretend I don’t know about being adopted?”
“Leah, you can do whatever your heart wants. If you feel you need to find her, then we won’t stop you. We’re here for you no matter what you decide. We understand because she was the one that gave birth to you.”
Leah turned and hugged her father for a long time before she stood and left the room, leaving the adoption paper on the table. She didn’t need it anymore, but she would have to think about what she was going to do.
She slipped the cell phone out from her back pocket and called Loretta. Loretta was her best friend, someone she told everything to. There wasn’t anything Loretta didn’t know about Leah. Well, except for what she was about to tell her best friend. If they put their heads together, they both could figure out what she should do.
Negative thoughts continued to weave their way into her mind. If her real mom gave her up, then why should she go looking for her? Apparently, her real mom didn’t want her, otherwise she would have kept her, right? She knew that she’d never give up her child when she became pregnant, no matter what the reason was. Or had she died giving birth? Leah didn’t know but she wanted to find out. She needed to know what happened that day.
Leah had returned to the kitchen after calling her friend and found her father slumped over the kitchen table. At first, she thought that he had fallen asleep but when she nudged his shoulder he fell off the chair and slumped to the floor. Leah screamed and dropped to the ground, rolling her father onto his back. “Daddy,” she called out through her tears. “Daddy, please wake up. I’m sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have gone snooping in your dresser drawer,” she pleaded, but she knew that he was already gone before she had found him. Leah sat on the kitchen floor with his head in her lap, tears cascading down her face. She knew she had to call for an ambulance and call her momma, but she didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t want them to take her daddy away because she’d never see him again. She’d done this to him. If she hadn’t found the paper, then he’d still be alive.
Weeks had passed since the funeral, leaving Leah alone and heartbroken from the loss of her father. She wasn’t sure what she should do about finding her real mom. It almost felt like a betrayal against her father, who had died because she had found out about the adoption. At least that’s what she believed. If she hadn’t found the papers, then she wouldn’t have confronted her dad and he would still be here with her. Maybe it was too soon. Sixteen years had already passed; what would another week or month matter if she waited?
Several months later, Leah decided that she would try and find her biological mother with the help of her best friend Loretta. Questions surfaced in her mind that she wanted —no, needed—to find the answers to. She just prayed that her real mom wouldn’t be disappointed in her. Disappointed in the way she was raised, but why should Leah care what her real mom thought? She was the one that gave her up, not the other way around.
Leah went to the county office and was then directed to child services. The woman there t
old her that the records were sealed and that she couldn’t for any reason unlock them and give Leah her mother’s name. Feeling defeated, she drove over to Edon and asked the same questions and received the same answers. The files were sealed. End of story! Then a thought came to her. Maybe her mother didn’t live in this state, but the adoption papers did say Ohio on them. She felt at a loss and pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind.
As time went by, Leah decided to leave the past in the past, but found herself searching the faces of every black woman she met, only to walk away disappointed. Sometimes she would ask the unthinkable question, “Did you ever give your baby up for adoption?” Some women answered back, “NO!” But some asked her why she’d ask such a question to a total stranger. Once she explained herself, they would apologize and go on their way.
After she graduated high school, her time was filled with college classes and she put the adoption to the back of her mind. Though she would allow herself to think of her real mother from time to time, still looking at the faces when a black woman walked by her. Maybe one day she would finally find her when she wasn’t looking.
38
Five Days after the Accident
Late Afternoon
Later that day, as Ben slept his mind began putting his life back together. His subconscious had a way of organizing the things that happened in his life. Things that he had once did and had long forgotten, so he thought. His time in the war hadn’t been that long ago, but there were things he let slip to the back of his mind. The battle he fought and the injuries he sustained, the Dear John letter he received from a loved one back home. Someone that he chose to let go because of his foolishness without even trying. But she had written the letter that said goodbye, nit him. He knew deep inside himself that he truly loved her. This his heart knew to be true.
The Accident Page 19