Bone Lord 4

by Dante King

  “We use the church’s flags when in Prand,” Captain Argryl continued. “You didn’ expect our ships to be black with skulls and crossbones, did ye?”

  “Captain,” I said, “those three ships are all for sale?”

  “Aye. For the right price.” His eyes roamed over my women.

  Well, it seemed he needed a little convincing that they were off-limits.

  My undead army was half a mile behind us, and I sent an order for them to increase their speed to double march. As the zombies and skeletons started to pour out of the woods in disciplined, tight-packed columns, the pirates’ eyes widened with surprise, and most of them cussed and gasped.

  “I’ve ‘eard rumors about some maniac going around calling ‘imself the God of Death,” Captain Argryl remarked. “I thought they were just wild tales spun by wine-sots and madmen. But now, I see the truth, plain as day before me eyes! The undead army is real!”

  Murmurings of awe flitted around the pirates as they took in the sight of my army. Every man’s eyes were locked on the spectacle... every man but one.

  “All right,” Argryl said when my army had assembled across the cliffs. “We can fit ‘em all in if we pack ‘em tight. I’m guessing comfort ain’t no problem for the undead, eh?” He paused here to cackle at his weak attempt at humor. “Aye, aye, we’ll be able to get you and your army across the ocean to Yeng, no problem. So, let’s get down to business. How much gold have you brought wi’ you? Let’s see if we can work out a fair price.”

  I gave a nod to Drok and Rollar, who were each carrying two sacks of gold coins. They walked up to Captain Argryl and dumped the sacks at his feet. He squatted down and examined them, and the grin on his scarred face broadened considerably.

  “Aye, aye, that’s a fair price, all right. I’ll take you across the ocean... but there’s one more thing I want.”

  “There’s far more gold in those sacks than you deserve, Argryl,” I said.

  “Oh, I’m not asking for any more gold, Lord Chauzec. No, I want something different.”

  “Speak plainly, pirate.”

  “Just to enjoy the intimate companionship of one of your lovely ladies in my chamber every night.” Argryl stared hungrily at the women. “Wi’ so many ravishing beauties, surely you wouldn’t be so stingy as to keep ‘em all to yourself, now?”

  I chuckled humorlessly and shook my head. “I think I’ll let my women answer that question, Argryl. Ladies, what do you think?”

  Of course, I knew exactly how they would respond.

  “I’d never let such an oily, smelly vagabond touch me, not in a million years!” Elyse hissed.

  Friya gripped the Cloak of Changing tightly. “If you came within 10 feet of me, I’d turn into a werewolf and rip your head off.”

  “The only pleasure I could get from a scumbag like you is watching you die... slowly,” Isu snarled.

  “A goddess does not lower herself to be spoken to, much less touched, by an ugly rogue like you,” Anna said haughtily. “In my eyes, a worm like you is worthy only of contempt.”

  “I know of many ways to kill you, you disgusting troll,” Rami-Xayon said, “but with the foul stench that emanates from your body, I’d choose one that involves a projectile weapon from a long distance.”

  “My people frequently devour humans,” Layna said, “but not even our cleaning spiders would touch a pest like you.”

  “There you have it, Argryl,” I said. “Even if I asked them to, which I’d never do anyway, not one of my women would touch you with a 10-foot pole. They’re off the bargaining table, and you’re a piece of rancid goblin shit to have ever thought they were on it in the first place.”

  “Bah!” Argryl spat. “You and your stuck-up whores can keep yer gold and stay in Prand. I won’t take the likes o’ you on my ships!”

  “You’re lucky that I’m feeling merciful tonight, Argryl,” I said. “Because calling my women ‘whores’ usually gets a man’s tongue ripped out and shoved down his throat. You’d better start running before I change my mind.”

  Argryl spat again. He no doubt wanted to hurl another few insults my way, but he could see the deadly threat simmering in my eyes and wanted to keep his tongue for his future gross lip-licking. He turned around without another word and strode briskly off, beckoning to his men to follow him. They did, grumbling among themselves about their captain’s stupidity and stubbornness.

  “There goes another opportunity,” I said. “We could kill the pirates, but then we’d have no one to sail the ships. I doubt any of you have much experience on that front.” I looked to them, and they all shook their heads as I’d suspected they would.

  “Captain’s Challenge,” Rollar murmured next to me, sounding almost as if he was talking to himself. “Yes, yes, of course, Captain’s Challenge!”

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  He turned to me with a look of excitement. “Lord Vance, when I was soldiering with the Splendorous Army, there was a man I served with, a former pirate. One night in camp, while drinking around the fire, he told me about this thing in the world of pirates called the ‘Captain’s Challenge.’ You can challenge another pirate captain to a one-on-one duel to the death, in which the winner takes everything, including the loser’s ship and crew. Only thing is, though, you have to be a pirate captain to call out a captain’s challenge.”

  “In that case, we need something that will make it worth his while to fogoe that little stipulation.” I turned to my women. “Ladies? I’m going to offer you up as a reward for winning this fight, but I’m not going to let Argryl win.”

  The women shared looks before Isu spoke for all of them, “We trust you. Kill this foul man and take his ships.”

  I grinned as I turned around and saw that Argryl and his men were about to descend the path that would take them off the cliffs and down into the cove.

  “Argryl!” I yelled out to him. “The women are on the negotiating table, along with the gold!”

  Argryl stopped and looked up at me in the gloom of dusk, and I could see a wide smile spreading across his ugly face. He swaggered back to me, his men at his back.

  “Oh really?” he asked. “Well, well, well, I knew you’d eventually come to your senses. After all, the bitches don’t have to be willing for me to enjoy their bodies.”

  “There’s one condition, though.”

  “And what might that be?”

  “I call a Captain’s Challenge. If you lose, your ships and crew are mine. But if you kill me, my gold, women, and army are yours. How does that sound, pirate?”

  “If you swear a blood oath to fight me like a man, wi’ steel and fists only, wi’out using any of your Death magic,” Argryl said, “I’ll accept your Captain’s Challenge.”

  “Rollar, your dagger,” I said. I needed to use an unenchanted blade for this.

  Rollar handed me one of his long knives, and I held up my palm for Captain Argryl to see. Then I drew the sharp edge of Rollar’s dagger across it, opening up a long cut from which my blood oozed and dripped onto the ground.

  “On my blood, I swear that I’ll fight you without using any magic or enchanted weapons, Argryl,” I said. “I swear this, if you accept my Captain’s Challenge.”

  “I’m going to enjoy killing you almost as much as I’ll enjoy fucking your women,” Argryl said as he drew his cutlass. “You’re about to be killed by the most skilled swordsman on the High Seas. Come, let’s dance, God of Death!”

  Chapter Seven

  “Rollar,” I said, “another dagger.”

  Rollar drew another of his long daggers and tossed it to me. I caught it and flipped it in my left hand so that I was gripping the one he’d given me earlier in my right hand in an overhand grip, while I held the other in my left in an underhand grip.

  “Just two daggers of plain steel, Argryl,” I said to the pirate. “No magic, no enchantments.”

  “For a god, you’re a bit of a fucking idiot,” Argryl sneered as he and I started to circle each other
, with my party and his crew standing around us in a wide ring. “Knives against my cutlass? I’ll pick you apart nice an’ slow like—take your arms and legs off one by one until there’s nothing but a limp limbless torso left.”

  Argryl darted in with a swift lunge, but I turned his attack with the dagger in my right hand and twisted sharply, whipping my other dagger in a horizontal slash that came within a hair’s breadth of opening Argryl’s throat up from ear to ear. Most men would have had a torrent of blood gushing out of their throats before they’d even realized what I’d done, but, true to his boast, Argryl was a superb swordsman and almost superhumanly fast. Arching his back, he leaned away from the arc of my dagger, but it nonetheless nicked his chin and opened up a cut.

  “And the God of Death draws first blood.” I twirled the daggers mockingly in my hands as Argryl jumped back to create some space between us. “Will his challenger draw any blood at all?”

  “You got lucky, landlubber.” Argryl wiped the oozing blood off his chin with the back of his hand. “But now that I know the measure of ye, I won’t be makin’ a mistake like that again.”

  I turned to face him straight on and spread my arms out wide like those of a crucified man, presenting Argryl with the entirety of my body as a target.

  “You might be the best swordsman on the High Seas,” I said, “but this is dry land beneath our feet.”

  Argryl snarled and darted forward, but there was more caution in his attack this time. He feinted a lunge, then pivoted acrobatically on his leading leg and turned it into a diagonal upward slash. I whipped my right arm across and parried it. He rotated the cutlass in his hand and turned my parry, hacking at my throat, but I batted his cut away with my other dagger.

  Argryl pressed his attacks home with speed and fury, but for every cut, thrust, or slash he attempted I was able to move faster and turn his blade away.

  He didn’t exaggerate in saying that he was a brilliant swordsman, but the harder he tried to force his way through my defenses, the faster my parries, blocks, and dodges became. I didn’t attempt any counterattacks; I was enjoying toying with him and stoking his anger and frustration, both growing in leaps and bounds with every passing second.

  We traded flurry after flurry of rapid-fire blows, Argryl attacking with relentless speed and increasing desperation, while I calmly parried and turned away his every offensive maneuver. I kept on opening up small cuts on him, making him bleed slowly. One cut for each of my women he’d insulted. I made sure none were lethal, but I did ensure that every cut I made hurt like hell.

  His increasing carelessness provided me with plenty of opportunities to kill him and end the duel, but I didn’t take them. I wanted his crew to see just how skilled a fighter I was so they would know making a Captain’s Challenge with me would surely end in their deaths. They watched with widening eyes as I turned away attack after attack in blurs of speed, sparks flying from the steel clanging against steel.

  Finally, when I’d made him pay for every one of my girls he’d insulted, I performed a double backflip. Argryl stood in front of me with a couple yards between us, panting like a rabid street dog and smelling just as bad as one. His eyes were wild, and blood streamed from the cuts on his face, arms, and torso. He knew he was beaten. He also knew that there was no way out of this duel but death; nobody asked for mercy in a Captain’s Challenge.

  “You’ve had your chance to try out a range of attacks, Argryl,” I said. “And they all failed, miserably.”

  I darted in low and whipped my arms in a blazing attack. Argryl was able to parry my left thrust, but my right-hand dagger impaled his left thigh. The long blade entered his flesh in the region of his hamstring, and the tip burst through the front of his inner thigh. He gasped and tried to aim a slash at my neck, but, quick as a flash, I released my dagger and caught his wrist with my hand, stopping the cutlass blade inches from my throat. With a swift jerk, I broke his wrist, and he screamed as he dropped his weapon. I plunged my left dagger into his gut, and he staggered back, gasping and gripping his impaled stomach. He coughed up blood as he swayed on weakening knees. I kicked his dropped cutlass up from the ground, caught the airborne handle with perfect momentum, and traced a vicious arc in front of me. Argryl’s head toppled from his shoulders in a spray of blood. It bounced a few times, then rolled to a stop at my feet, while his headless body, still spurting blood, flopped onto the dirt at the feet of his crew.

  For a moment, everyone was silent, but then a great cheer thundered out, not only from my party, but from Argryl’s crew too. The pirates, I was surprised to see, whooped and grinned like madmen.

  “That was the best damn duel I’ve ever seen!” one of them roared.

  “Your bladework was bloody masterful!” another one yelled.

  “Good riddance to that bastard Argryl!” yet another pirate shouted. “He was a stingy, tightfisted asshole of a captain.”

  “Three cheers for our new captain!” a burly pirate with a peg leg bellowed. “Three cheers for Captain... wait, what’s your name, my lord?”

  “Vance Chauzec, God of Death,” I said with a bow.

  “Three cheers for Captain Chauzec!” the peg-legged pirate yelled as he punched the air.

  “Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!” the pirate crew roared.

  “You,” I said to the peg-legged pirate, a burly, bald man in his 40s, with a paunch the size of a wine barrel and two bandoliers of throwing knives strapped across his broad torso. “What’s your name?”

  “I’m Percy, Captain Chauzec, and I’ll be your first mate, if you’ll ‘ave me. I was first mate to Argryl, and I did a ‘alf decent job on his ships, I did.”

  The other pirates all nodded and murmured in agreement. They seemed to like this Percy, so I figured he’d be a good first mate and a good assistant to have on the ships, seeing as I wasn’t much of a sailing expert.

  “Very well, Percy, you’ll be my first mate,” I said.

  “And it’ll be an honor to serve you, Captain Chauzec,” he said.

  “I’ll double whatever Argryl was paying you,” I said to the pirates, which elicited enthusiastic cheers, “but I do have some rules I expect you all to follow.”

  “Aye,” Percy said, “let’s hear ‘em, and I’ll make sure every one o’ these scurvy dogs obeys ‘em to the letter, Captain Chauzec. You can count on me to maintain discipline at sea, you can. Every one o’ these bastards knows that I’m not shy with the cat o’ nine tails, and if any o’ them really piss me off, they know that I’ll give ‘em a keelhaulin’, or make ‘em walk the plank!”

  “My rules are quite simple,” I said to him, “and there aren’t many of them, so I don’t think any of you will have any trouble remembering them. First, my women are off limits at all times. Don’t try to talk to them unless it’s a matter of urgency, don’t harass them, don’t catcall them. Hell, it’s probably better if you all try to pretend they’re not even there. And if you break these rules, it won’t be me kicking your sorry asses; it’ll be the women themselves. Each of them can handle herself well, I promise you that.”

  “Aye, Captain,” Percy said. “I promise you, none of these pirates will bother your lovely ladies. If they do, they’ll get a bloody keelhaulin’, they will!”

  “Second, all of you are to take one of these coins.” I took one of my golden Death coins out of my pocket, “and keep it on you at all times. It’s especially important that you all have one of these coins on you when you fight; that way, the souls of the enemies you kill will go directly to me.”

  “We’d be honored to worship the God o’ Death.”

  “Good. Third, don’t fuck with me. Take that to mean what you will, but I think it’s self-explanatory. You do what I tell you to do, you don’t ask questions, you don’t challenge my commands. Don’t argue with me, don’t make stupid comments, and don’t steal from me. I’m a generous man, and like I said, I’m doubling your pay, but if you try to take advantage of that generosity, you’ll see a very different side of me, a
side much more like the one I showed to your late captain.”

  “Aye, Captain,” Percy said. “Don’t worry; we’re pirates, yes, but we operate under our own code o’ honor. We don’t steal from our own, and any man who does walks the plank. Any more rules, Captain?”

  “One last one, yes—no wanton killing of people. No raping, no looting of innocent merchant ships or ports. Kill all the enemies you want, and kill anyone who deserves it, but no innocent victims. Is that understood?”

  This one caused the pirates to pause for a moment. I figured they would find this stipulation a little hard to swallow, being pirates and all. They all got together in a huddle and exchanged some heated words. Percy punched one square in the face, and it seemed to resolve whatever conflict they’d had.

  “We understand, Captain Chauzec,” Percy said with a solemn nod. “Don’t we, boys?”

  All the pirates said “aye”.

  “Good,” I said. “Now that’s over, let’s get this army and my party onto your ships, and let’s set sail for Yeng right away. I’ve wasted enough time already.”

  “I’ve got no problem with that, and the crew have been eager to get out to sea for days anyway. Come on, let’s get your skeletons and zombies on board. We’ll be out at sea within the hour.”

  And so we were. My army was split in half, and they went into the holds of two of the ships. As for my party, we would all be on the main ship, with First Mate Percy and a couple other pirates. Rollar’s direbear came with us too, as well as Talon and Fang. I needed Talon with me for scouting ahead and for carrying me between ships if necessary.

  We slipped out of the coastal waters of Prand in the dead of night, sailing without lights on deck to avoid the attention of the many Transcendent Sails ships that patrolled the coast. Rami-Xayon called up a strong breeze to get our small fleet moving swiftly.

  To the credit of my party members, after a night of sea sickness, they were moving around quite comfortably on deck. In the meantime, I’d met all the pirates for at least a short chat, and they all seemed to be good, dependable men—for pirates and outlaws anyway. They’d all seen what I could do in a fight, and that was without using any of my magic, so none of them even vaguely considered the idea of messing with me. They were earning twice what they had been under Captain Argryl’s command, they were doing what they loved—sailing the High Seas—and while they weren’t too happy about the ban on robbing and killing innocents, it was a sacrifice they were happy to make in return for the benefits that came with serving under my command.