by Dante King
“Portals. The motherfucker uses portals,” I said, remembering how the Hooded Man had fled through the portal with his tail tucked before I killed Rodrick.
“Whatever magic he uses, I doubt it has anything to do with the Warlock,” Zhenwan said.
“Okay. What about dragons? Is that something related to the Spirit of Prosperity or the Dragon Cult?”
“Ah, now that’s something that is connected to the Warlock and his so-called prosperity, without a doubt,” Zhenwan said. “Nobody knows what these things are, but they are not dragons in the strict sense of the word, because they cannot fly. But many of the villages near the mountains where the Warlock’s tower is located have been deserted because of these creatures. They started to appear shortly after the Warlock finished constructing his tower and would come in the dead of night and massacre entire villages. The few people who survived described the beasts as huge reptilian monsters with a ravenous appetite for human flesh.”
“Do you think the Warlock created these monsters?”
“He may well have, but wherever they came from, they are part of the three plagues that have devastated my homeland,” Zhenwan said sadly. “Between the Spirit of Prosperity cult and the chaos it caused, the Hooded Man’s murder rampage, and the threat of the reptilian monsters, Yeng has become a dangerous place.”
“And what does your Glorious Emperor have to say about these things? Why hasn’t he done anything?”
“The Glorious Emperor hides in his City of Jewels, waited on by thousands of servants and living in the lap of luxury, as he and the Royal Dynasty always have. They are protected by his personal army and care nothing for the fate of us commoners. Gah! I spit on the Glorious Emperor and his useless Royal Dynasty! At least now that I’m off the continent, I’m free to say such things. To utter such words in Yeng would quickly get me a death sentence.”
Zhenwan looked down sadly, for the first time in our long conversation. The new cult did seem like a strange problem, but one that I felt I should deal with, even if it didn’t have anything to do with the Blood God. It wouldn’t suit my ideals of justice to let a man who sent his giant reptilian pets out to devour whole villages walk free and unpunished.
I was still eager to learn more about the Dragon Cult and the Dragon Goddess, on the chance that they might lead me to the Dragon Gauntlet. I’d have to wait until I got to Yeng before I was able to get more information on that though. And before I could set foot on Yeng, there was the Transcendent Sails Fleet to get through. Now that I had my own kraken, it was a battle I was looking forward to.
I looked up from these thoughts and saw that Zhenwan had fallen asleep again. As I turned to leave, the cabin the door opened, and Rami-Xayon stepped through.
“He’s just fallen asleep, if you were coming to ask him any questions,” I said. “Let’s talk outside the cabin so we don’t wake him.” I couldn’t help but feel like I owed Zhenwan, even if I had saved his life. The information he’d given me could prove valuable in my quest.
“Ah, a pity. There is much I want to discuss about our homeland,” she said to me as we left the cabin and quietly shut the door behind us. “It seems that the land has fallen into chaos since I was last there.”
“From the sound of it, things are pretty bad,” I said. “Are you looking forward to being home, or not so much?”
“It’s always a deeply painful thing to see one’s homeland destroyed,” she said with a sad sigh. “I can only hope that my family have been spared from the disasters that have befallen Yeng.”
“You haven’t told me much about your family.”
“We haven’t had much of an opportunity. I don’t speak often of them because we never really saw eye to eye. Unless you count my twin sister. She’s also an enjarta.”
“Twins, huh…” I said. All sorts of possibilities involving another stunning woman who looked just like Rami-Xayon popped into my head.
“We’re identical twins, yes, and we’re both enjartas, but in all other respects, she and I are quite different. She’s... well, like a much more wild version of me.”
This twin sister was sounding more alluring with every passing moment.
“She sounds like fun.”
Rami-Xayon narrowed her eyes, staring at me with a mildly suspicious gaze.
“Fun, irresponsible, two sides of the same coin,” she said dismissively.
“Am I detecting some sibling rivalry here?” I chuckled.
“Perhaps a little,” Rami-Xayon admitted.
“I look forward to meeting her. Do you have any other siblings? What do your parents do?”
“No other siblings. My parents were enjartas too, but they left active duty when my sister and I were born. Instead, they became trainers of enjartas. They have a small fortress hidden in some vast bamboo forests among the hills a few days’ journey south of the City of Jewels. When we get to Yeng, I must travel there immediately to see if they have been affected by all the chaos that has ravaged the land.”
“Of course,” I said.
“Thank you, Vance. I’m very close to my parents and have missed them greatly during my time in Prand.”
“Just a little Transcendent Sails Fleet standing in our way.”
“You say that like the biggest naval battle in decades will be a minor inconvenience.”
“I’ve got a kraken; they haven’t,” I said with a grin. “I know who I’d be putting my coin on.”
Chapter Sixteen
The next morning, my party and I were discussing battle strategy when I got a signal from my kraken. The creature could detect the presence of a great many ships coming straight for us. The Transcendent Sails had had the wind in their sails and were going to intercept my ships.
In the coming battle, I was going to use my pirate ships as well, even though they were smaller and less robust than the warships I’d commandeered. The advantages that came with their small size were speed, agility, and maneuverability.
I also had another trick up my sleeve: fire. Fire, combined with wind, makes for a rapidly spreading conflagration, and with both me and Rami being able to use Wind power, we could set half the naval fleet alight within minutes. This was because I was planning to sacrifice one of my pirate ships, turning the vessel into a fireship.
The pirates were working on it right now; they had pooled together all the tar from their ships and the captured warships, usually used for repairs and maintenance, and combined it with large quantities of oil and rum (which they were reluctant to waste, but I’d promised them a lot more once we got to Yeng). This made for a very flammable, very sticky mixture. They were painting the entire deck and mast of the intended fireship with it, and once they were done, they would paint the sides of the ship with it too. They had also reinforced the hull from the inside with all the spare wood we had and the rest of the tar, making the ship a lot more difficult to sink.
I had kept some of the flammable mixture aside to make fire arrows for my zombie and skeleton archers and crossbowmen, who would be stationed on the two remaining pirate ships. These ships would travel at full speed around either flank of the enemy fleet, raining down a storm of fire arrows onto the ships, while the fireship smashed right into the center, burning with its furious hellfire. Then, from below, my whale would ram holes in hulls and my kraken would crack whole ships like nuts.
Just to get a good look at the approaching fleet, I sent Talon out to do a reconnaissance. A harpy’s view always helped when it came to battle plans.
To my surprise, I saw a small, fast sailboat racing ahead of the vast Transcendent Sails Fleet, heading straight for us. On it was a handful of men in the gleaming full plate armor of high ranking Church of Light knights. Flying from the mast of the sailboat was the purple flag of parley. I wouldn’t trust a word from any of their crooked mouths and suspected that this incoming parley was merely some sort of delay or deception tactic, but I was interested to see what they had to say. I was also eager to make an impression on the commanders,
one that would let them know exactly what they were in for.
I suited up in my gleaming black plate armor and hooked a grappling rope to the side of the ship.
“You’re going overboard in that armor?” Elyse asked.
“I’m not going for a swim. I’m going to be riding on the back of my whale. I think that’ll make just the right sort of impression. Say, the sun’s out, so why don’t you come along and use your Light powers to suit up in your golden armor? I bet that’ll make one hell of an impression too.”
Elyse nodded slowly. “It would, yes.”
I could hardly believe my ears. Maybe I had been a bad influence on Elyse. But I didn’t mind in the slightest. Hell, I even had a few thoughts about making her a death maiden or something along those lines. The maiden part, however, didn’t fit anymore after my romp with her.
“Come with me, then,” I said. “The outside of the whale doesn’t stink nearly as badly as the inside.”
She chuckled, and just a couple of minutes later, Elyse and I were riding on the back of the undead whale, making a beeline for the approaching sailboat. Elyse was looking resplendent in her golden plate armor, and she had her mace ready, crackling with Light power and ready to burn any of them to cinders if they tried anything. I had my Tree Crossbow attached to my wrist so that I could turn a knight into the first aquatic oak tree if necessary.
We came close enough to the approaching sailboat to see the whites of the knights’ eyes, and then I stopped my whale. They furled their sails and dropped their anchor, stopping too.
“Nice day for a little sailing trip, huh?” I said to them, flashing each of the five commanders my proudest grin.
“We have come to parley with you, unholy fiend,” the Grand Commander, a gray-haired, gray-bearded man said. His armor was inlaid with gold and etched with intricate scenes from the Book of Light. “Be grateful that we have given you this opportunity and not simply squashed you and your puny fleet like the vile insects you are.”
I chuckled and shook my head. “You certainly are an exemplar of the principle of humility that the Church preaches, aren’t you? Tell me then, grandpa, what your offer is. I’m listening.”
“I see that you have brought the apostate whore with you,” he sneered. The rest of them turned their disapproving, mocking glares in Elyse’s direction, and I could feel her bristling behind me. “Hand her over to us to be burned at the stake for her heresy and apostasy, as well as the apostate and traitor Rollar, who will also be burned at the stake for his crimes.”
“Apostate?” Elyse growled from beside me. “I’ve been... I’ve been excommunicated?!”
“By holy decree of Seraphim Elandriel himself.” The Commander smiled beneath his beard.
I wanted to turn him into a tree right then and there, but I figured Elyse had the honor of ending his life.
“You want to handle this?” I whispered to her, but she was too furious to speak. She didn’t raise her mace either.
The Commander continued, “Send messages out to all your heathen followers that the blasphemous Temple of Necrosis is disbanded and destroyed forever and command them all to return to the Church of Light to beg for forgiveness. If you do this and surrender yourself and the rest of your party, you will all be blessed with forgiveness for your sins from Seraphim Elandriel himself and then be given swift and merciful deaths.”
“You hear that, Elyse?” I said. “All I have to do is hand you and Rollar over to be burned alive, destroy the Temple of Necrosis, and then surrender to these shit stains, and I get to die a swift, merciful death, along with everyone else in my party. What a generous offer!”
“I would expect nothing less from such fork-tongued pigs,” Elyse growled, returning the men’s glare with full force.
“Sorry, guys, I think I’ll need some time to think about that,” I said.
I looked up at the sky and made a show of scratching my chin and tapping my feet. Then I ceased this mocking charade and flashed an evil smile at the five commanders.
“Okay, I’ve thought about it,” I said, “and I have a counteroffer, one I’m sure you’ll all love.”
“Speak, creature of darkness, and we will hear your counteroffer,” the Grand Commander said.
“How about instead of doing all that stuff you just said, you guys come over here to my whale, get on your knees and suck my balls, and then give me all 50 of your warships before jumping into the ocean and drowning yourselves? If you do that, I promise not to make all of your men die in excruciating agony in a couple of hours.”
“If this is your idea of a joke, I—” the Grand Commander started.
“Oh, it’s no joke, I assure you.” I smiled. “I’m dead serious. Come over here and suck my balls, give me your fleet, and then drown yourselves, and I’ll spare your men. That is my counteroffer.”
“So you have chosen death and suffering for yourself and everyone on your ships,” the Grand Commander said. “You selfish, arrogant fool! Once we crush your pathetic little fleet, I will personally light the fires beneath the feet of every one of your comrades, all of whom will be burned at the stake!”
“I’d like to see you try, you fat, pompous bitch,” Elyse shot from beside me.
I burst into laughter. “You heard the lady. Fuck off back to your fleet now, and enjoy your last few hours alive as a human being. Because after I slaughter you all, I’m going to have you serve me forever as zombie slaves. That’s a promise.”
“You will regret this, heathen!” the Grand Commander yelled as they unfurled their sails and started to turn their sailboat around. “By the Lord of Light, you will all regret this terribly!”
“Bring it on,” I said, then I turned my whale around and headed back to my fleet.
Elyse was practically trembling with rage. After hearing of her excommunication, she couldn’t wait to go into battle against the Transcendent Sails.
“I can’t believe that they want to burn me at the stake!” she gasped, her knuckles white as they grasped the handle of her mace in a death grip. “Me! One who has served the Lord of Light with such faith and dedication, who rooted out the corruption that Nabu infected the church with, who did away with slavery in Erst, who—”
“Save your energy for the fight, Elyse,” I said gently. “I know it’s real shitty, what they’ve done to you after everything you did for the Church—but hey, at least you’ve seen what they’re really like now. Channel your anger into the fight. Burn away the rot those assholes have infected your faith with.”
“You’re right,” she said. “That’s exactly what I’m going to do today.”
We got back to the warship and climbed up the ropes onto deck.
“How did the parley go, Lord Vance?” Rollar asked.
“As well as I expected it to,” I answered. “They gave me a ridiculous offer, and I told them where to stick it.”
“So we are to fight them, then?” he asked.
“Damn right,” I answered. “Everyone, get your weapons ready and prepare for battle. No quarter will be asked, and we sure as hell won’t give any either.”
Chapter Seventeen
I stood near the prow of my warship with Rami-Xayon beside me and Percy behind me. In front of us, the Transcendent Sails Fleet was spread across the horizon like a landmass. Fifty huge warships all coming straight for us.
This was the time to fly Talon up into the clear afternoon sky and get a good look. Through her eyes, I saw they had arranged their ships in a sort of bull’s horns formation, with two horns of ships coming quickly toward my fleet, while the bulk came on a little more slowly. They would pass the flanks of my fleet with the horns on either side and encircle my ships, surrounding us completely. Then, like the pincers of a gigantic crab, they would crush us.
At least that was how they thought things would go. The Church of Light had paid dearly for underestimating me before, and they would pay a heavy toll again.
My commandeered warships were spread out and arranged in an ar
row formation, with mine at the point. In front of this arrow was the fireship, and on each side of the arrow were the other two pirate ships. I needed my pirate ships outside the Church fleet, and they needed to move before the advancing horns of the Church Navy hemmed them in and surrounded them.
“Pirate ships, out!” I roared.
Rami-Xayon next to me was providing gusts of wind to help the ships sail as fast as they could. She pointed each of her arms out, one stretched to the left, one to the right, and summoned two howling gales of propelling air from each hand.
The pirates on the ships were ready and waiting. As soon as these torrents of wind buffeted their sails, they raced off from our formation, speeding outward in opposite directions. I watched them racing against the forerunner ships of the twin horns of the Church Navy, and smiled, observing that my pirate ships would easily outrun the warships and break out from the encirclement attempt. Once they were racing along the outer flanks of the Church fleet, my skeleton and zombie archers and crossbowmen could begin their deadly work with their fire arrows.
I needed the enemy fleet to think they had me trapped, though. I wanted them to come on recklessly, and pack their ships together close, believing that they really were about to crush me. Then my fireship could be sent into their midst and begin to wreak havoc.
I watched on either side as the horns of the Church fleet—who were ignoring the pirate ships, no doubt thinking the pirate ships were fleeing the oncoming slaughter—passed around the sides of my fleet. As the minutes passed, the two horns started to close formation behind us, encircling us. Little did they know a kraken floated mere yards beneath the surface, hungry to rip their ships apart. I wasn’t going to release it yet, though. Not yet.
“We should attack now, Captain Chauzec,” Percy said nervously.
“We have to let them get a little closer, Percy,” I said. “Patience, my friend, patience.”