by Penelope Sky
I scoffed. “You mean, I have to push her out. As if that’s going to be easy.”
“Easy or hard, you will do it.” He stood upright then got my jacket around my shoulders. “The hardest part is coming, but soon, it’ll all be over. The three of us will be home in no time.” He grabbed my bag from the dresser and then took me by the hand. “It’ll be alright, I promise.”
By the time I arrived at the hospital, the contractions had started.
And Jesus, they were painful.
I was put into a room right away with the nurses and the doctor, and after my examination, they said she was already coming.
“Wait, aren’t I supposed to sit around for like ten hours before I go into real labor?” I wasn’t prepared to give birth right this second. Everything was moving so fast. I was about to be a mother. Oh my god, I’m about to be a mother.
“No, the baby is coming now,” the doctor said. “I’m going to need you to start pushing.”
I looked at Cato, like I expected him to fix this somehow.
He stood at my bedside and held my hand. “She doesn’t like to waste time. She’s definitely my daughter.”
“I don’t think I can do it.” I looked into his blue eyes and admitted my weakness. I was usually strong, regardless of the situation, but right now, I was terrified. “My mom’s not here, and I always thought she would be here… I can’t do this. I can’t push this person out of my body. It’s not physically possible.”
“Baby, baby.” He gripped my hand. “Calm down.”
“You calm down,” I hissed.
“I’m sorry your mother couldn’t be here, but I am here. We’ll get through this together. There’s no time to be scared, Siena. Our daughter needs you to push, so you need to start pushing. Think about her.”
That seemed to be the exact advice I needed. Now that she was coming into the world, I wasn’t important anymore. She was the most important thing in our lives, and instead of giving in to the fear, I needed to get her into my arms as quickly as possible. “Alright…I can do it.”
“I know you can, baby.”
Hours later, she arrived.
The doctor cleaned her up and wrapped her in a warm pink blanket before he carried her to me. She was crying at the top of her lungs, but the sound didn’t irritate me at all. It was a normal reaction when entering the cold air of the world. “Here she is.” He handed her over.
My body was exhausted from the labor. My legs shook from pushing so hard, and I was tired from not sleeping well for the last few nights. But the hard part was over—and my reward was finally given to me.
I would never forget this moment, holding my daughter for the very first time. “Martina…” I held her with both arms and looked at her tiny fingers. She still cried hysterically, but my ears seemed to automatically morph into mom ears, able to handle the high-pitched cries. Her eyes were closed because she hadn’t opened them just yet, and I waited to see their color. I hoped she had Cato’s eyes. I wanted to see him every time I looked at her.
Her eyes opened—and they were blue like the ocean.
“Just like your father.” I brought her head to my mouth and kissed her forehead. “You’re so perfect.” I stared into her face with a permanent smile on my lips. Slowly, her cries stopped as she became just as entertained by looking at me as I was looking at her.
I’d had a special relationship with my mother, and it broke my heart that she wasn’t here for this moment. I’d always assumed she would teach me everything about being a mom—because she was the best mom in the world. I knew she would be overjoyed to see her granddaughter, to babysit her as much as possible so I could have time off with Cato. But she wasn’t here…and I was starting my own family without her.
Cato stood over me and stared at Martina in silence. He was silent and still, taking in the moment with an expression that was impossible to read. He didn’t seem happy or sad. He seemed…overwhelmed. One moment, it was just the two of us, and then it became the three of us. This little girl had been the result of an accident, but that accident turned into the best thing to ever happen to us. She saved my life…and she made Cato into a better man.
“You want to hold her?” I whispered.
Like he hadn’t heard a word I said, he continued to stand there. He didn’t extend his arms or give any indication he’d heard me. His breathing was deep and heavy, the emotion clearly flooding his veins. He finally came to terms with his thoughts and extended his arms to make the transfer.
I placed her in his arms and let go.
Cato held her with a single arm because she was so small in comparison to his size. He moved his other hand under her head then lifted her toward his face so he could get a closer look at her.
Martina didn’t cry. Only faint coos came from her little mouth.
I watched them together, watched the weight of the moment overcome Cato. The instant I went into labor, the reality of my life hit me hard. But it didn’t happen for him until he saw her face for the first time.
“Sweetheart, you’re beautiful,” he whispered to her, having a private conversation between father and daughter. “Just like your mother.” He brought her forehead to his lips and kissed her the way I had.
I felt the tears burn in my eyes. It didn’t matter how much pain I was in or how exhausted I was. This scene moved me to tears.
He held her close to his face and spoke again. “I promise I’ll never leave you, sweetheart. No matter what. I’ll always take care of you. I’ll always protect you. And every night, I will always come home.”
When we went home the next day, I was exhausted. I was constantly feeding her and rocking her back to sleep so she would stop crying. If I weren’t so tired, I would just keep going, but I’d reached my limit.
Cato put her in the crib next door and joined me in the bedroom, but her wails were so loud, they couldn’t be ignored. With the doors open, a baby monitor was unnecessary.
“I can’t let her cry like that.” I pushed the sheets back.
“Baby, rest.” Cato put me back in bed and tucked me in.
“She needs me, and I know you have work tomorrow.”
“I took a few days off. I’ll take care of her so you can get your strength back.”
Cato Marino, the billionaire banker, took time off to take care of his daughter? “I thought you were going to get a nanny or something?”
“Eventually. But for now, I think it’s best if we’re the ones taking care of her. It’s important for bonding. I don’t want Martina to come into this world and be cared for by a stranger. It should be us.”
A wide smile melted across my face. “I know I’m super tired right now…but you are Cato, right?”
He smiled and pulled the sheets to my shoulder. “I’ve got her. You just rest. You grew a person inside your body for nine months and then pushed her out. You’ve done enough.”
I gripped his hand. “If I weren’t a nightmare down below, I’d be fucking your brains out right now.”
He chuckled then kissed my palm. “You can make it up to me later.”
7
Cato
I was a father.
As Siena grew bigger over the last few months, the inevitable truth looked me right in the face. Then I watched her do the most difficult thing any woman could—give birth. After lots of screaming and lots of pain, my daughter arrived.
And my life would never be the same.
She was beautiful, healthy, and perfect.
I would never forget the moment I held her in my arms for the first time. All I wanted to do was protect her, hide her away from all the terrible things in life. I only wanted her to see kittens and rainbows. That moment changed me, for better or worse. I was filled with love but also hatred. How could my father ever hold me and then walk out? How could he turn his back on his two sons without feeling dead inside?
I could never do that to Martina.
Regardless of the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers, the stains sh
e would leave all over my clothes, she was still my family—and you never turned your back on family. I took her into her bedroom and rocked her in the chair, unsure what else to do with her. She wasn’t old enough to talk, just old enough to stare at me.
I stared back.
When she was quiet like this, being a parent felt like the easiest thing in the world. But I knew this peace wouldn’t last forever. The road ahead would be difficult, and I would have to learn so many things. I didn’t even know how to change a diaper.
Thank god for YouTube.
When Siena woke up, she stayed in bed and had dinner on a tray. I sat in a chair by her bedside with Martina in my arms. She was so small she could easily fit into just a single arm. With her little fingers and little toes, it was difficult to believe she would grow up to be a woman someday.
“How was she?” Siena’s hair was pulled back, and even though she’d slept all day, she still looked exhausted. Her body must still be in disarray after pushing out another person. Her eyes were filled with such fatigue that it seemed like she hadn’t slept at all.
“There were a few hours when she wouldn’t stop crying. I fed her, changed her, rocked her…nothing worked.”
“Maybe she was cold?”
“I don’t know. But she stopped eventually. The rest of the time, I just held her in the rocking chair. She stared at me and I stared at her.”
Siena smiled. “That sounds nice.”
Martina started to cry a second later, her wails so loud, they nearly shook the walls.
“Not so nice anymore,” I said with a chuckle.
“She’s probably hungry.” She moved the tray aside then lifted up her shirt to reveal her swollen tit. “I’m uncomfortable anyway.” She took Martina from my hands and positioned her at her breast.
Martina latched on right away.
I watched Siena breastfeed our child, and now everything felt even more real.
Siena watched our daughter for a long time, affection in her eyes and a smile on her lips. “I can keep her. I’m sure there’s stuff you need to do.”
“I’d like to hit the gym and take a shower.”
“Okay. Sounds good.”
I stayed in my seat and continued to watch them together, mother and daughter. It was hard to believe I’d created something so beautiful and innocent, but I was sure Martina had inherited those qualities from her mother. She had my eyes, and hopefully, she would have my strength and fierceness. I wouldn’t raise her to believe in fairy tales or Prince Charming. I would raise her to be her own warrior, to never settle for anything less than what she deserved. One day, a man would come to me asking for her hand, and I wouldn’t give her away unless that man was twice the man I was.
Siena studied me. “What are you thinking about?”
The question broke my concentration. “Father stuff…stuff I shouldn’t have to worry about for a long time.”
By the fourth day, I understood Martina’s needs a lot better. Her cries always sounded the same to me, but the time of day gave clues to what she needed. Changing diapers was easy, feeding her from the bottle was even easier. Once she got comfortable in the house, she started to sleep a lot more.
Those were my favorite moments.
I went into my office and sat in the leather armchair behind my desk. My laptop was open in front of me, but the liquor cabinet was closed tight. I would normally be drinking or smoking in here, but now that I had a daughter, the things I loved were put on the back burner—because I loved her more.
I leaned back in the chair so my chest was flat, and Martina slept on her stomach right against me. The position wasn’t that comfortable for me, but that was how she liked to take her midday naps. I typed on my computer and responded to a few emails.
Bates called me.
I answered with a soft voice. “Yes?”
“What do you mean yes? I see that you’re working. Ready to come back to the office?”
Siena had nearly recovered from labor, but I was giving her as much time as she needed to get back on her feet. Taking care of Martina for most of the day allowed her to relax. So far, she hadn’t changed a diaper once. “Not for a few more days.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m taking care of Martina right now. Siena is still resting.”
“Cato, that’s what nannies are for. And they’re dirt cheap.”
Thankfully, Martina stayed asleep for the entire conversation. Perhaps she liked listening to the sound of my voice. “I don’t want a nanny, Bates. I want to be the one to take care of her.”
“You want to change diapers?” he said incredulously. “Wipe butts?”
“Yes. And yes.”
He scoffed into the phone. “I don’t get you, man. You’re this powerful banker, but you’re at home with a brat drooling all over you.”
“Don’t call her that,” I warned. “You’ll need facial reconstruction if you do.”
“Then when are you coming back?”
“You know, paternity leave is at least three months.”
“No, asshole. You aren’t skipping out for three months.”
“I know,” I said. “But I’m just reminding you what the rest of the country does. Besides, you can handle it on your own, Bates. You really don’t need me. When your time comes, I won’t need you.”
“When my time comes?” he blurted. “No, I always wear a condom.”
“When you fall in love, you’ll stop wearing a condom.”
He turned dead silent.
It took me several seconds to understand the source of his silence, how my poorly chosen words were misinterpreted. “I’m just saying…”
Bates didn’t revisit the comment, but it was awkward for the rest of the conversation. “Why are you doing all the work?”
“Because she was pregnant for nine months and pushed a human out of her. She deserves a week off.”
“She’s the mother,” he argued. “She should be taking care of her kid.”
“Stop being a sexist bitch.”
“Sexist?” he asked. “See, this is why I don’t like Siena. She puts these stupid thoughts in your head.”
“It’s not because of her. I have a daughter now—and I see the world differently because of it. By the way, you haven’t asked to see her once.”
“You know I’m not a baby person.”
“But this is your niece. Your family. She might be the closest thing to a daughter you ever have.”
“God, I hope so,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll talk to Mother, and we’ll stop by. I know she’s eager to see you guys. She calls me every day, trying to figure out when it’s appropriate to nag you.”
“She’s never cared about an appropriate time to nag me before.”
“I think she’s thinking of Siena.”
Of course. My mother didn’t have any boundaries with me. “Siena has been feeling a lot better, so I’m sure she’ll be ready for visitors tomorrow.”
“Alright. By the way, are you going to do that thing we talked about?”
Drag Siena outside and put her on her knees to be executed. To scare her so senseless it’d be the best punishment for the two crimes she’d committed. She’d never paid for what she did, other than the time my brother bloodied her. Just a few days after that, I fetched her father’s body from my enemies and called a truce just to have him. Siena never suffered for what she did. Right off the bat, she softened my anger, and I took care of her. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“Well, I hope you do it. I’m much more civil to her, but I would be willing to give her a clean slate if she were fairly punished for what she did. We all have to pay the price for our sins—Siena Russo is no different.”
I lay in bed beside Siena, the baby in between us.
Siena had her head propped up on her hand as she rubbed Martina’s stomach. Her eyes were downcast as she looked at our daughter, sleeping between us so nothing could ever happen to her. Siena smiled as she stared at Martina, watching her lit
tle chest rise and fall as she slept. “Can you believe how perfect she is?” she whispered in the dark.
“No.”
“Healthy, beautiful, happy…she’s the perfect baby.”
“Wait and see how you feel when you’re changing her diaper all day, listening to her cry nonstop for an hour, and letting her sleep on your chest so you can’t move for a few hours.”
Her eyes lifted to me with the same smile. “Still perfect. And you think she’s perfect too.”
I didn’t deny it. “I do. My mother and brother want to come over tomorrow for a visit. Are you up for it?”
“Yeah. I’m surprised they didn’t come sooner.”
“Wanted to give you time to recover.”
“I’ll invite Landon too. He’s been blowing up my phone lately. Wants to meet his niece.”
I wished my brother shared the same enthusiasm. “They’ll be here at noon.”
“Sounds good.” She lowered her head back to the pillow with her face close to Martina. She closed her eyes and kept her fingers on Martina’s stomach, feeling her breathe like she needed that assurance to sleep. “Thanks for taking care of her. It’s been so nice to rest. When we came home, I felt like I’d been hit by a train.”
“I can only imagine.”
“I know taking care of a baby by yourself couldn’t have been easy, so thank you.”
“I didn’t do it alone. I asked Giovanni lots of questions.”
She chuckled. “Thank goodness we have him. He can do more than cook.”
“That guy can do everything. That’s why I hired him.”
She kept her eyes closed, and her fingers stopped rubbing Martina’s tummy. “I wish we didn’t have to wait six weeks…”
I’d been so busy taking care of Martina, I hadn’t thought about sex much. That little baby became the center of my universe, and all the things that used to matter stopped being important. I didn’t care about sex, booze, or work. All I cared about was changing diapers and putting a bottle in her mouth. “It’ll be over before you know it.”